Librarians & Leviathans

In which harsh pragmatism ensues.

The poorly-drawn map proves the biggest challenge of this level, but we eventually work out where we can move. The Silver Ravens say "Nope" to regeneration and to ridiculously excessive DCs. We play with a doggie, and have a nice read by the river.

I'm somewhat uncomfortable with The Lout in this part of the adventure. This is an 'ogrekin' (half human, half ogre, I think?) who got captured by some evil priests, magically controlled for a while, brainwashed and is now a loyal lackey. He's presented as abused, deformed and 'breathing through his mouth and drooling'. It all feels a bit dubious to me.

Part 29 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 029: Blind the unconscious dead person

Direct Links

RSS feed for all episodes

Episode 001: Number My Thugs

Episode 002: Technically She's Goop

Episode 003: The Mediaeval Equivalent of a Zimmer Frame

Episode 004: Personal Snot Monster

Episode 005: By our powers combined

Episode 006: There is honour amongst, ah... normal civilians

Episode 007: You have it on good medical advice not to lick the ground

Episode 008: Mmm, blobs of quivering flesh - my favourite

Episode 009: A lot of papier-mâché

Episode 010: Kamikaze ferrets and commando weasels

Episode 011: It's such a horrible coincidence

Episode 012: I think we found our bass player

Episode 013: Ego Shattered!

Episode 014: Whipping up an alligator stew

Episode 015: Sewer brings back bad memories

Episode 016: Chaos is one way of describing it

Episode 017: NOW she's a ghost

Episode 018: A lot of f*cking birdseed

Episode 019: Real things said by real people

Episode 020: It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost

Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind

Episode 022: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?

Episode 023: Faceful of zombie crotch

Episode 024: Woo! Capitalism!

Episode 025: What kind of tricks do you have up your sleeve? A gun.

Episode 026: I promise it's not cursed

Episode 027: Enormous tiefling, obvious gnome

Episode 028: Back away from the door, book boy

Episode 029: Blind the unconscious dead person

You thought paper cuts were the worst that could happen?

Our attempt to find the secrets hidden under the Phantasmagorium runs into problems, as an obstinate book bars the way (a great betrayal, for Zim at least).

That's basically it.

Part 28 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 028: Back away from the door, book boy

Direct Links

RSS feed for all episodes

Episode 001: Number My Thugs

Episode 002: Technically She's Goop

Episode 003: The Mediaeval Equivalent of a Zimmer Frame

Episode 004: Personal Snot Monster

Episode 005: By our powers combined

Episode 006: There is honour amongst, ah... normal civilians

Episode 007: You have it on good medical advice not to lick the ground

Episode 008: Mmm, blobs of quivering flesh - my favourite

Episode 009: A lot of papier-mâché

Episode 010: Kamikaze ferrets and commando weasels

Episode 011: It's such a horrible coincidence

Episode 012: I think we found our bass player

Episode 013: Ego Shattered!

Episode 014: Whipping up an alligator stew

Episode 015: Sewer brings back bad memories

Episode 016: Chaos is one way of describing it

Episode 017: NOW she's a ghost

Episode 018: A lot of f*cking birdseed

Episode 019: Real things said by real people

Episode 020: It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost

Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind

Episode 022: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?

Episode 023: Faceful of zombie crotch

Episode 024: Woo! Capitalism!

Episode 025: What kind of tricks do you have up your sleeve? A gun.

Episode 026: I promise it's not cursed

Episode 027: Enormous tiefling, obvious gnome

Episode 028: Back away from the door, book boy

Neither mummified apes, nor poisonous spiders, nor almost total inability to hurt anything, will stay these messengers about their duty.

Creative solutions abound. We debate the rules for readied actions. That damned spiritual weapon gets its comeuppance. Obviously evil statues are obviously evil.

Part 27 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 027: Enormous tiefling, obvious gnome

Direct Links

RSS feed for all episodes

Episode 001: Number My Thugs

Episode 002: Technically She's Goop

Episode 003: The Mediaeval Equivalent of a Zimmer Frame

Episode 004: Personal Snot Monster

Episode 005: By our powers combined

Episode 006: There is honour amongst, ah... normal civilians

Episode 007: You have it on good medical advice not to lick the ground

Episode 008: Mmm, blobs of quivering flesh - my favourite

Episode 009: A lot of papier-mâché

Episode 010: Kamikaze ferrets and commando weasels

Episode 011: It's such a horrible coincidence

Episode 012: I think we found our bass player

Episode 013: Ego Shattered!

Episode 014: Whipping up an alligator stew

Episode 015: Sewer brings back bad memories

Episode 016: Chaos is one way of describing it

Episode 017: NOW she's a ghost

Episode 018: A lot of f*cking birdseed

Episode 019: Real things said by real people

Episode 020: It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost

Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind

Episode 022: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?

Episode 023: Faceful of zombie crotch

Episode 024: Woo! Capitalism!

Episode 025: What kind of tricks do you have up your sleeve? A gun.

Episode 026: I promise it's not cursed

Episode 027: Enormous tiefling, obvious gnome

"For a gunslinger sitting in a tank of water might not be optimal." - sage advice from Zimgallar, there.

Features spiders.

With courage in our hearts, we delve further into enemy territory - which is to say, we move into the second room. Caution proves to be more difficult that you might think. We discover the lack of Pathfinder rules for handling critters that are actually just on you.

Part 26 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 026: I promise it's not cursed

Direct Links

RSS feed for all episodes

Episode 001: Number My Thugs

Episode 002: Technically She's Goop

Episode 003: The Mediaeval Equivalent of a Zimmer Frame

Episode 004: Personal Snot Monster

Episode 005: By our powers combined

Episode 006: There is honour amongst, ah... normal civilians

Episode 007: You have it on good medical advice not to lick the ground

Episode 008: Mmm, blobs of quivering flesh - my favourite

Episode 009: A lot of papier-mâché

Episode 010: Kamikaze ferrets and commando weasels

Episode 011: It's such a horrible coincidence

Episode 012: I think we found our bass player

Episode 013: Ego Shattered!

Episode 014: Whipping up an alligator stew

Episode 015: Sewer brings back bad memories

Episode 016: Chaos is one way of describing it

Episode 017: NOW she's a ghost

Episode 018: A lot of f*cking birdseed

Episode 019: Real things said by real people

Episode 020: It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost

Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind

Episode 022: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?

Episode 023: Faceful of zombie crotch

Episode 024: Woo! Capitalism!

Episode 025: What kind of tricks do you have up your sleeve? A gun.

Episode 026: I promise it's not cursed

Update: fixed some audio issues where parts of Nathan's track were stripped out.

It's too long since we did any impersonation.

The Rebellion continues to gather steam, by which I mean, we maintain our proud record of appalling dice rolls and bare survival. We go for a nice walk that isn't any kind of casing of joints, no sir. Subterfuge ensues as Cassia infiltrates a museum, for a further attempt at conquering the damned thing. Hellknights discover the consequences of f*cking around with hulking semi-demonic chefs. We finally, finally take control of... part of the ground floor of the building. Woo!

Part 25 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 025: What kind of tricks do you have up your sleeve? A gun.

Direct Links

RSS feed for all episodes

Episode 001: Number My Thugs

Episode 002: Technically She's Goop

Episode 003: The Mediaeval Equivalent of a Zimmer Frame

Episode 004: Personal Snot Monster

Episode 005: By our powers combined

Episode 006: There is honour amongst, ah... normal civilians

Episode 007: You have it on good medical advice not to lick the ground

Episode 008: Mmm, blobs of quivering flesh - my favourite

Episode 009: A lot of papier-mâché

Episode 010: Kamikaze ferrets and commando weasels

Episode 011: It's such a horrible coincidence

Episode 012: I think we found our bass player

Episode 013: Ego Shattered!

Episode 014: Whipping up an alligator stew

Episode 015: Sewer brings back bad memories

Episode 016: Chaos is one way of describing it

Episode 017: NOW she's a ghost

Episode 018: A lot of f*cking birdseed

Episode 019: Real things said by real people

Episode 020: It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost

Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind

Episode 022: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?

Episode 023: Faceful of zombie crotch

Episode 024: Woo! Capitalism!

Episode 025: What kind of tricks do you have up your sleeve? A gun.

Update: fixed some audio issues where parts of Nathan's track were stripped out.

Bridge taxes are up! Outrageous!

I don't honestly remember what happened in this episode, apart from lying to NPCs because gnome. We purchase huge numbers of scrolls (OK, within the limited budget of a low-level party). Shopping occurs. We examine the rules for crafting alchemical items. Not the most action-packed of episodes.

Part 24 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 024: Woo! Capitalism!

Direct Links

RSS feed for all episodes

Episode 001: Number My Thugs

Episode 002: Technically She's Goop

Episode 003: The Mediaeval Equivalent of a Zimmer Frame

Episode 004: Personal Snot Monster

Episode 005: By our powers combined

Episode 006: There is honour amongst, ah... normal civilians

Episode 007: You have it on good medical advice not to lick the ground

Episode 008: Mmm, blobs of quivering flesh - my favourite

Episode 009: A lot of papier-mâché

Episode 010: Kamikaze ferrets and commando weasels

Episode 011: It's such a horrible coincidence

Episode 012: I think we found our bass player

Episode 013: Ego Shattered!

Episode 014: Whipping up an alligator stew

Episode 015: Sewer brings back bad memories

Episode 016: Chaos is one way of describing it

Episode 017: NOW she's a ghost

Episode 018: A lot of f*cking birdseed

Episode 019: Real things said by real people

Episode 020: It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost

Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind

Episode 022: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?

Episode 023: Faceful of zombie crotch

Episode 024: Woo! Capitalism!

Join us once more for ineptitude in the streets of devil-struck Kintargo...

You don't get anywhere as a small business owner seditious rebel without persistence. We return once again to the bloody annoying halls of the Fantasmagorium in the hopes of making it past the first flippin' room. On our past record this is very much a nail-biter.

Part 23 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 023: Faceful of zombie crotch.

Direct Links

RSS feed for all episodes

Episode 001: Number My Thugs

Episode 002: Technically She's Goop

Episode 003: The Mediaeval Equivalent of a Zimmer Frame

Episode 004: Personal Snot Monster

Episode 005: By our powers combined

Episode 006: There is honour amongst, ah... normal civilians

Episode 007: You have it on good medical advice not to lick the ground

Episode 008: Mmm, blobs of quivering flesh - my favourite

Episode 009: A lot of papier-mâché

Episode 010: Kamikaze ferrets and commando weasels

Episode 011: It's such a horrible coincidence

Episode 012: I think we found our bass player

Episode 013: Ego Shattered!

Episode 014: Whipping up an alligator stew

Episode 015: Sewer brings back bad memories

Episode 016: Chaos is one way of describing it

Episode 017: NOW she's a ghost

Episode 018: A lot of f*cking birdseed

Episode 019: Real things said by real people

Episode 020: It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost

Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind

Episode 022: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?

Episode 023: Faceful of zombie crotch

Educational visits can be dangerous. "Starknives and whips is just not a good look with skeletons", quote Zim.

We are bullied by undead apes, and discover the disadvantages of party members who are physically incapable of inflicting damage (yes, I'm one of them).

Part 22 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 022: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?.

Direct Links

RSS feed for all episodes

Episode 001: Number My Thugs

Episode 002: Technically She's Goop

Episode 003: The Mediaeval Equivalent of a Zimmer Frame

Episode 004: Personal Snot Monster

Episode 005: By our powers combined

Episode 006: There is honour amongst, ah... normal civilians

Episode 007: You have it on good medical advice not to lick the ground

Episode 008: Mmm, blobs of quivering flesh - my favourite

Episode 009: A lot of papier-mâché

Episode 010: Kamikaze ferrets and commando weasels

Episode 011: It's such a horrible coincidence

Episode 012: I think we found our bass player

Episode 013: Ego Shattered!

Episode 014: Whipping up an alligator stew

Episode 015: Sewer brings back bad memories

Episode 016: Chaos is one way of describing it

Episode 017: NOW she's a ghost

Episode 018: A lot of f*cking birdseed

Episode 019: Real things said by real people

Episode 020: It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost

Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind

Episode 022: Is this going to be another Mal versus Door?

Roger has kindly pointed out that the start of Episode 21 contains 13 minutes of dead silence. This is in no way part of an elaborate Kuthite occult ritual designed to lure our innocent audience into the path of shadow and pain. Especially now that someone's noticed.

I have replaced the file on Archive.org.

"I am not a number (of hit points), I am a free, uh, humanoid of some kind."

Reggie and Mal uncover a Plot Device. We accidentally perform a 1970s comedy routine (poor Rexus). A visit to the Museum proves education in different ways than the institution originally anticipated - for example, we learned you should always carry a slashing weapon.

Part 21 of the campaign is now up on Archive.org at Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind.

Direct Links

RSS feed for all episodes

Episode 001: Number My Thugs

Episode 002: Technically She's Goop

Episode 003: The Mediaeval Equivalent of a Zimmer Frame

Episode 004: Personal Snot Monster

Episode 005: By our powers combined

Episode 006: There is honour amongst, ah... normal civilians

Episode 007: You have it on good medical advice not to lick the ground

Episode 008: Mmm, blobs of quivering flesh - my favourite

Episode 009: A lot of papier-mâché

Episode 010: Kamikaze ferrets and commando weasels

Episode 011: It's such a horrible coincidence

Episode 012: I think we found our bass player

Episode 013: Ego Shattered!

Episode 014: Whipping up an alligator stew

Episode 015: Sewer brings back bad memories

Episode 016: Chaos is one way of describing it

Episode 017: NOW she's a ghost

Episode 018: A lot of f*cking birdseed

Episode 019: Real things said by real people

Episode 020: It's like Casper the Friendly Ghost

Episode 021: Hit points is a state of mind