License to Parent with Trace Embry

As good parents, we want our posterity to flourish. So, what are we doing for our posterity's sake with respect to giving our kids an informed perspective on the subject of abortion? Are we training our kids to be bold warriors for life? Are we sure where they even stand on the issues?

Today we talk about the truth about abortion with Abby Johnson. Abby worked at Planned Parenthood in Texas for 8 years. She escorted women into the clinic to prevent them from being heckled by protestors. Eventually, she was promoted to center director. Many things started to disturb her, including watching a 13-month old struggle for its life during an abortion procedure. That led to her resignation a week later. In 2012 she started the ministry, And Then There Were None, an outreach to former abortion clinic workers. She is the author of two books including Unplanned, which details her work at Planned Parenthood and was just released as a film.

Misguided Compassion

Abby was an award-winning leader in Planned Parenthood, making good money, but she left it all. What was it that prompted such a radical turn? Abby explains that in October of 2009 she witnessed a live ultrasound-guided abortion procedure. “I knew then that there was life in the womb and there was humanity in the womb, and if that were true I’m on the wrong side of this debate.” Abby started speaking out and advocating for pro-life but also used her platform to really minister to and reach out to those who had been touched by or plagued by abortion. 61 million recording abortions have occurred since 1973. That’s over 120 million people who have been wounded by abortion, and we need to reach their hearts as well.

“I never thought about the baby. You’re not trained to think about the baby. You’re only trained to think about the mother and her rights.” These are normal people coming out of normal jobs and suddenly they’re doing things they never thought they would possibly do.

Unplanned the movie received an R rating for the realistic depiction of abortion. It seems ironic and almost disturbing that a 15-year-old girl cannot go see a movie about abortion without her parent’s consent. However, she can walk into a clinic and physically have an abortion without that same consent.

There are many people who see abortion as a kind and compassionate act. What are we missing? There is misguided compassion there, but we are really missing a key piece of the puzzle if we aren’t looking at the compassion that should be granted to the unborn child. The service of disconnecting a mother from her unborn child is not compassionate. It’s really the antithesis of what compassion truly is. It’s a miscarriage of justice.

At one time the argument on whether or not the child was actually a “child” yet was a strong stance by the pro-choice movement. However, with the medical advances and the technology that is out there now, it is very undeniable that the fetus is a child. While some deny it, more and more people are willing to say “I know it’s human. I know it’s a baby and there’s a heartbeat. But I’m still ok to kill it.” We are seeing the evil coming to the surface.

How do we have the abortion conversation with our kids? When do we start talking about it? As early as possible! At 4 years old, Abby’s daughter was out with her praying at abortion clinics. Conversations need to be age appropriate, but they need to happen. You are not doing your child any favors by not talking to them about this issue. You are not protecting them! If you are not directing the conversation, someone else will be.

Episode Highlights:

What is the arguement for abortion today?

How can we have compassion for those who are pro-choice in their stance and actions?

How do we talk to our kids about abortion?

Picture via: Pixabay

As good parents, we want our posterity to flourish. So, what are we doing for our posterity’s sake with respect to giving our kids an informed perspective on the subject of abortion? Are we training our kids to be bold warriors for life? Are we sure where they even stand on the issues? Today we […]

Paul Coughlin, President and Founder of the Protectors, founded in 2005, was born from personal experience and a unique understanding into a fundamental weakness to existing anti-bullying programs. As a Target of bullying while in elementary school, Paul knows just how damaging such a campaign of cruelty can be to a person’s emotional and psychological wellbeing—damage that can harm a person well into adulthood. Some never recover.

Practical Steps for Parents of Bullying Victims

What are some of the most common mistakes parents make when a child approaches their parent about being bullied? First, a parent may tell their child to “just ignore it.” This is a fallacy and dangerous advice. A bully is looking to overpower and overwhelm, so they will choose the child that they believe won’t push back. When a child doesn’t push back, it is seen as a sign of weakness and an invitation to more aggressive action against them. In contrast, we need to teach our children how to use and wield the power of their words. They will be empowered when they do that and stand up to the bully.

One of the biggest things bullies look for is non-assertive body language. Bullies are profilers. It’s really a very criminal mindset in a young body. They seek out the kid who looks uncomfortable, is nervous looking and doesn’t walk with confidence. Oftentimes it can be the new kid who doesn’t have a support group or structure yet. We need to train our kids how to appear more confident and assertive. Train them to “fake it until they become it.”

You’ve heard the phrase “nobody likes a bully” but that doesn’t always appear to be true; especially in grades leading up to junior high. Early on, particularly in middle school, children and pre-teens tend to mistake power and strength. So while a bully has “power” he is not necessarily strong. As we get older we begin to see through it, but that takes time.

But what about the bullies? How do you turn bullies around? Serial bullies are highly resistant to change. Once they get the taste of bullying and the pleasure of it, it can be so intoxicating that it’s difficult to break that behavior. Many have an extreme sense of entitlement. Your average bully is narcissistic and arrogant. So what do you do with an arrogant person? They need to be humbled, not to be humiliated. They need to see themselves as equal to other people.

We highly recommend martial arts to victims, not so that they can beat someone up, but so that they can learn and gain confidence. They can learn the ability to move and speak with an air of confidence, they are just not as attractive to bullies. One of the things we try to do with kids who bully is explaining to them their charisma and ability to lead other people. We try to appeal to their sense of “healthy pride” and teaching them to use their powers for good. Martial arts for a bully can teach them to use strength to defend others than to attack. And it teaches restraint.

How can a parent detect when their child is being bullied. Look for behavior that is out of the ordinary or that you haven’t seen before. Look for signs of physical aggression or being aggressive in their speech. Sleep patterns can also change, which is also a sign of depression. A lack of interest in school or specific topics in school can also happen, particularly for kids who do well or used to be excited about school activities. Mysterious illnesses can also happen. We need to be cautious of these illnesses, as children aren’t always lying about being sick. There are kids who can become physically sick due to nervousness or stress.

Should parents intervene? 70% of victims don’t actually tell anyone. Part of the reason for that is that victims are afraid their parents will make it worse. Before school begins, say “you know what- I know that bullying is a pattern of behavior. It’s a use of power to intentionally harm someone without reason. In order for me to best help you,

Paul Coughlin, President and Founder of the Protectors, founded in 2005, was born from personal experience and a unique understanding into a fundamental weakness to existing anti-bullying programs. As a Target of bullying while in elementary school, Paul knows just how damaging such a campaign of cruelty can be to a person’s emotional and psychological […]

Well, I was the oldest; so, I’ll leave it at that. But, I’ve certainly been the victim of bullying as a kid. I think we all have, in one way or another. I can remember the trauma of being a 4th-grader in a school that was only 4 doors down from my house. A 6th grader and his two high-school brothers, who happened to be my next door neighbors, and another 6th grader made it their daily ambition that year to use me as a human punching bag. So, it was a traumatic event every day at 3 O’clock, just to find a way to make it those 4 doors down from the school-yard to the refuge of my house which, had its own liabilities. Sometimes I made it; sometimes, I didn’t. But, I think bullies know that even if they win a real fight, they’re still likely to come away with some wounds, especially if the person they’re fighting has a just cause. And, to most bullies, I think it just isn’t worth it. Anyway, you asked about my experience. Now, let’s talk to the expert.

Paul Coughlin is an expert witness regarding bullying and the law and is a Fox News analyst and contributor. He is a popular speaker who has appeared on Good Morning America, Nightline, C-Span, The LA Times, The New York Times, Newsweek and other media outlets. Paul is a best-selling author of eight books, including Free Us From Bullying, as well as a former newspaper editor. He works with numerous professional organizations to diminish bullying, including the Baltimore Ravens. His anti-bullying curriculum is used throughout North America as well as in South Africa, Uganda, Australia, New Zealand and Brazil among other countries. Paul is a boys’ varsity soccer coach, where he was voted Coach of the Year twice. Paul has also previously served as a member of the Board of Trustees for St. Mary’s School in Medford, Oregon. Paul is a popular men’s conference speaker who has inspired thousands across North America as well as in Wales and England.

Teaching Self-Defense on the Playground

So why is bullying just now being brought to center stage? Paul suggests that the misconceptions around bullying have a lot to do with it. We have had a tendency to see bullying as a part of poor communication, misunderstanding, individuals unable to control anger, a right of passage. Perhaps the other thing that has brought us to the forefront of this issue is a perfect storm of diminished parenting, increasingly fragile children, and a new found ability to literally destroy a child through cyberbullying. His book may in fact not be such a needed resource today if it wasn’t for the internet.

How should parents train their kids to deal with internet bullies? A bully, regardless of a digital or physical one, wants to see their victim experience pain and anguish. This makes them feel alive and in control. It’s enjoyable to be a bully. As a response, a child can work to convince the bully that it doesn’t bother them and that the bully is failing. A great comeback really is the word “whatever.” It’s dismissive but it also defends your dignity and worth. This is a much more effective tactic than to erroneously ignore the bully and not say anything. If we don’t respond, it is taken as a sign of weakness. Weakness invites aggression. Train your child how to show strength in the presence of a bully. Don’t feed the machine!

We also need to point out that bullying is very different today than when many of today’s parents were kids. For example, we see “mob bullying” where one kid is up against 3-5 kids. That poor kid is more outnumbered today statistically than in the past and he/she needs help.

Some parenting tactics today have actually increased the impact of bullying. For example, one tactic would be to not say anything that would harm the bully’s self-esteem. In the process, we have created little monsters that grow up to be big monsters. The idea that a bully has low self-esteem is a fallacy. Bullies think they are wonderful. They are filled with a high sense of self-love.

Well, I was the oldest; so, I’ll leave it at that. But, I’ve certainly been the victim of bullying as a kid. I think we all have, in one way or another. I can remember the trauma of being a 4th-grader in a school that was only 4 doors down from my house. A 6th […]

Today’s kids are regularly hearing how fun, enlightening and innocuous pot is. It’s certainly safer than alcohol, they say confidently. And they’re hearing this information from the very elders from whom they should be learning responsibility and wisdom, no less. In fact, many states are not only legalizing marijuana for its medicinal benefits but, now, for recreational use also. And, our kids are taking notice. What should you tell your children about marijuana?

Alex Berenson was born in New York in 1973 and grew up in Englewood, N.J. After graduating from Yale University in 1994 with degrees in history and economics, he joined the Denver Post as a reporter. In 1996, he became one of the first employees at TheStreet.com, the groundbreaking financial news Website. In 1999, he joined The New York Times. At the Times, he covered everything from the drug industry to Hurricane Katrina; in 2003 and 2004, he served two stints as a correspondent in Iraq, an experience that led him to write The Faithful Spy, his debut novel, which won the Edgar Award from the Mystery Writers of America for Best First Novel. He has now written eleven novels and one work of nonfiction, The Number. We’ve invited Alex here today to speak on his book, Tell Your Children: The Truth About Marijuana, Mental Illness, and Violence. Alex lives in Garrison, N.Y. with his wife, Dr. Jacqueline Berenson, their children Lucy and Ezra, their badly behaved dog Maggie, and Maggie’s dog Teddy.

The Marijuana Myth

Many who hold the biggest microphones are pushing for the legalization and normalcy of marijuana use right now. Alex is seeing quite a bit of pushback on his stance and message, particularly from both the for-profit and nonprofit sectors. We are finding that many for-profit companies (particularly those with a vested interest or potential stakeholders) are ready for the legalization of cannabis. We also find many nonprofits touting its praises, not because they particularly wish for profit, but because the legalization has been seen and marketed as a social justice issue.

From the nonprofit perspective, I think that if you want to legalize a banned substance then it is in your best interest to have the largest amount of people use it as possible. Create a large community of users or customers. A second reason for the promotion is that money often come from the for-profit to the nonprofits. Thirdly, many still view themselves as scrappy outsiders that are fighting for something, completely truthful or not. And we need to be honest about the real truth here.

You can say to your children that neither alcohol nor cannabis is safe for anyone under 21. But yes, we do see that alcohol has an affect on the development of the brain. We’ve also seen that can lead to schizophrenia and violence. While many may argue that correlation does not equal causation it's not just true that many who use pot become schizophrenic or violent. There is a lot of good biological evidence that shows why this correlation is real and how very strong it is. There’s never been a trial where we’ve given a group cigarettes and another have gone without and we come back in 20 years and see the results. But we know that cigarettes cause lung cancer. There is tremendous evidence. And while the evidence that cannabis causes schizophrenia is not quite that strong yet, but it is very strong.

Marijuana changes people’s personalities, and often in a negative way. It turns people inward. SO even with alcohol you hear about “angry drunks” or “happy drunks.” With marijuana you hear about the giggly stoner in a corner. I think that’s a dangerous thing to produce. It create solitude and selfishness. And it’s an interesting drug for this time when we are already withdrawing from the world through technology, our phones, etc.

Now not everyone who uses cannabis will become psychotic or schizophrenic. Of course that is a risk and once you break your mind that way,

Today’s kids are regularly hearing how fun, enlightening and innocuous pot is. It’s certainly safer than alcohol, they say confidently. And they’re hearing this information from the very elders from whom they should be learning responsibility and wisdom, no less. In fact, many states are not only legalizing marijuana for its medicinal benefits but, now, […]

What’s on your child’s play-list? What’s on your own? Today we’ll be discussing how the music and entertainment world could be affecting your child’s behavioral, emotional, physical and spiritual health. We’ve had several discussions in the past about the power of music and music’s role in cultivating, perhaps even creating, certain attitudes and behavioral issues in people; particularly in kids. When considering the content of so much of today’s music, why do so many parents, particularly Christian parents, seem to be so cavalier about this subject?

Today we talk about music and entertainment with Eric Holmberg. Eric Holmberg is the founder and director of Reel to Real Ministries, Inc. and The Apologetics Group. He is an ordained minister, author, speaker, and video documentarian, his work has been featured on many outlets such as the 700 club, Wake Up America, Truths that Transform, Focus on the Family Magazine and many more. He has also written and produced many videos covering everything from revival to rap music. His content has helped to transform the lives of many people around the globe.

The Impact of Music

Eric is the creator of Hells Bells and Hells Bells 2, which are incorporated into a series for our students here at Shepherd’s Hill Academy. But what is it about this, almost 20-year-old content of Hells Bells that continues to impact the lives of teens and adults alike?

When Eric was just a pre-teen he distinctly remembers coming inside for a glass of water between some outdoor chores. He heard a song on the AM station by a new band at the time called the Doors. Intrigued, he purchased the album and found something incredibly unique for that time; an 11-minute song. He played the tune and somewhere in the middle heard words about the singer killing his father and killing his mother and so on and so forth, he instantly recognized it as bad. The next thing he knew, he was listening to it again, and again. Music continued to be the center of his life as he continued to become darker and darker until Jesus changed his life in his early 20s.

Eric describes walking into his home and the Lord distinctly speaking to him that the area that held his once beloved music was, in fact, an altar. He was worshipping here. But it wasn’t the Lord. He rid himself of everything, listened only to Christian music and his entire outlook on life changed.

Argentina is largely a relatively Catholic society with very conservative views. One of the big phenomena of the country is talk shows. These talk shows show scantily clad women with shocking content, but it’s very popular. Basically, these talk shows began to talk about abortion and wanting to see the laws changed to support pro-choice. Gradually throughout the years, these once conservative women of Argentina began to believe that abortion was ok. That’s how media gains influence. So for anyone watching or listening thinking “I can listen to this stuff. I can watch this stuff. It’s not going to impact me,” you are wrong. Like a frog in boiling water, it does affect you.

The Bible talks very clearly about the effects of music. David used the harp to enter into worship. Trumpets and drums were used to pump up soldiers for battle. Horns blasted and the walls of Jericho fell down. There’s something in this 6th sense and beyond that maybe we can’t empirically defend but we see the effects. Parents, we see the positive effects of music. You can build your brain matter, like kids that can play the piano or read music. Why would we not assume the opposite to be true?

So what's the best way to teach your kids about music? Model it in your home. Fill your home with beautiful music and pray they develop a taste for it. You lead by example and influence in today's culture. Start those conversations early and use the available tools to explain the powerful impact of music on our lives.

Episode Highlights:

Does music really affect your spiritual life?

What’s on your child’s play-list? What’s on your own? Today we’ll be discussing how the music and entertainment world could be affecting your child’s behavioral, emotional, physical and spiritual health. We’ve had several discussions in the past about the power of music and music’s role in cultivating, perhaps even creating, certain attitudes and behavioral issues […]