License to Parent with Trace Embry

It’s been said that the family is actually the first and most foundational form of government. So, believe it or not; like it or not; accept it or not, as a parent, you’ve been appointed to a very high and important office! Because being a good parent is about being a good leader. And, so much of good leadership comes from the common sense values, feelings, and intuition that God, Himself, has put in you.

Dr. John Townsend is a business consultant, leadership coach, and psychologist. He has written or co-written 30 books, selling 10 million copies, including the New York times best-seller Boundaries series, Leadership Beyond Reason, and Handling Difficult People. For more than twenty years Dr. Townsend has engaged with leaders, organizations, and individuals around the globe, offering them life-changing solutions to their problems. He is a co-host of the nationally-syndicated talk show “NEW LIFE LIVE” which is heard in 180 markets with 3 million listeners. Dr. Townsend is also active on the board of Mustard Seed Ranch, a residential program for abused children. A resident of Newport Beach, California, Dr. Townsend and his wife Barbi have two sons, Ricky and Benny. One of John’s passions is playing in a band, which performs at southern California lounges and venues!

Left Brain Logic & Right Brain Intuition

Dr. John Townsend joins us today with a book written, not particularly on parenting, but on leading from the gut As parents, we can use these valuable concepts in parenting our children with God give intuition. But what does it mean to be leading from the gut? First off, when you think of parenting you think of leadership. As a parent, you are leading, guiding and structuring someone. Parenting is one of the most important leadership positions you can have. Everything in life starts with the family.

God gave us a brain that has two aspects to it: left side and right side functions. The left brain is logical and rational. The right side is creative, emotional, passionate and intuitive. What we find out is that a lot of people don’t trust the right side. However, both sides of the brain are necessary for good leadership. So the idea of Leading from the Gut is that as a parent we must go into it not using half a brain, but using our whole brain!

When you look at studies on intuition, a lot of intuition has to do with compressed memories. Memories and experiences allow us to “know what this is like.” There is also an intuitive gift, but most individuals have compressed memories that assist in making good calls and decisions. We have also found out that great leaders and parents with high IQs can be very intelligent and logical, but if they cannot read their own feelings or their own gut, their kids fail and their businesses fail. Trust what God created.

How can we make this concept real? What does it look like as a parent to lead from the gut? You have to pivot on your feet pretty quickly! Let’s look at an example where junior is flaking out on his homework. He has the potential, but he’s just not sitting down and working on his homework. The gut says that before I lay down the rules, I need to express how he feels so that he realizes I understand him. He needs to realize that I understand how he feels. The children who don’t learn discipline have very few choices in life. Leading with discipline allows our children to have choices and options later in life, based on their interests and passions.

Episode Highlights:

Identified resources to help parents lead from the gut use

Does my child understand that I understand? How does this help me, as the parent, instill values and discipline?

How does discipline set your child up for success?

Picture via: Pixabay

It’s been said that the family is actually the first and most foundational form of government. So, believe it or not; like it or not; accept it or not, as a parent, you’ve been appointed to a very high and important office! Because being a good parent is about being a good leader. And, so […]

What’s the old saying? Too much of even a good thing is a bad thing, right? And, when it comes to the under-developed human brain, I think the internet has made a case for the idea that perhaps there’s a point when one can have too much knowledge. Isn’t that what got Adam and Eve kicked out of the Garden of Eden in the first place? They wanted something they weren’t supposed to be privy to (knowledge). Today we discuss teen smartphone use and how to balance the tech world with your kid with Axis CEO and Co-Founder, David Eaton.

David founded Axis because of his passion to see the good news about Jesus transform students, families, culture, and the beautiful-but-broken world that we live in! As CEO, he spends time collaborating with the Axis team, sharing our vision with generous friends of Axis, creating content that always surprises and intrigues, and answering email! David received his degree in engineering from LeTourneau University, where he served as Student Body President. He has spent a total of 10 months in 17 foreign countries. David loves his wonderfully creative wife Lindsey and their darling daughter Shiloh Abigail.

Reboot: Cell Phone Use and Parenting

Talking to kids about smartphones- how do you do it? How do you gain control by setting the right boundaries while also building trust?

Parents can completely control their kid's phones by setting time limits, bedtimes, even shutting the phone off if they want to. But unfortunately, not many parents know this. Many feel that they are at the mercy of their child when it comes to smartphone use.

Axis can help you set up boundaries in a way that help you gain trust along the way. They offer a variety of resources including a 30-day reboot for parents. You can’t just give unfettered access to the internet.

We are better in community than we are in isolation. We are made for community and relationship. The phone offers us privacy and an entitled “right to privacy.” But no, that’s not accurate. As human beings, we realize that we need each other and are made for others to survive and thrive. But we are made for each other in all the aspects of communication. The smartphone takes that away.

David Eaton had a child tell him, “The stricter the parents, the sneakier the child.” That’s strictness without a relationship. At Shepherd’s Hill Academy we hear, “I hate my mom/dad. They never tell me no.” Sometimes there’s no other option than to do battle. Your kids actually want you to do battle and they want you to win. That’s where their sense of security comes from.

But how do we answer the idea of “the stricter the parent the sneakier the child? Let me ask you: “Are you raising a sin concealer or a sin confessor?” Are you modeling confession with your kids? At the root of the smartphone issue is trust. Lay out a map of what you are running towards rather than what you are running away from. Are you parenting your kid or is your smartphone parenting your kid?

Episode Highlights:

Identified resources to help parents in monitoring and balancing cellphone use

Am I raising my child? Or is their phone raising them?

What part does love and morality play in raising a teen with technology?

Picture via: Pixabay

What’s the old saying? Too much of even a good thing is a bad thing, right? And, when it comes to the under-developed human brain, I think the internet has made a case for the idea that perhaps there’s a point when one can have too much knowledge. Isn’t that what got Adam and Eve […]

We’ll be picking up a conversation we started last time with Dr. Quentin Van Meter concerning the physiological and psychological truths and myths relating to the LGBT community; particularly as they pertain to those struggling through transgender issues. Today, we’ll continue that conversation; but, we’re going to take a deeper look at the history, the key players and the politics that might put together some of the missing pieces of a puzzle that is, no-doubt puzzling to a lot of people today.

Dr. Van Meter is a Pediatric endocrinologist in Atlanta, GA. He is affiliated with Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. He received his medical degree from Virginia Commonwealth University School of medicine. He has been in private practice since 1991, after a 20-year career in the Navy medical corps. He moved to the Atlanta area where he developed his own full-time practice. He is a clinical associate professor of pediatrics at both Emory University and Morehouse schools of medicine. Earlier this year he stepped into the role of President of American College of Pediatricians.

The History, Key Players and Politics

Today we join Dr. Quentin Van Meter on an examination of the mental health field and the influences into the LGBT movement. Dr. Van Meter identifies some of the key players in this shift and how they have impacted our society. If you missed Part 1 - be sure to listen to The Transgender Myth.

A concept has been developed that gender was fluid and that society could essentially change this. Dr. Money had an idea and decided to test this theory on a child to determine the success. These illegal acts were then published and have been woven into our society today. It was a dangerous process in which people have been experimented on to prove the theory.

Patients in such experiments and treatments were cited to have hormonal disorders or having other issues where, at birth, it was difficult to distinguish whether or not the patient was, in fact, male or female. A question was raised as to, “if we take someone who looks like a male but has the physical genitalia of a female but raise them as a male, what will be the outcome?”

Two classes of patients existed in these experiments. First, were the pediatric patients. Secondly, we see the adults who wanted to be the opposite sex (transexuals). Adults were treated with hormones and anatomically transformed as best as they could with the technology at the time. These procedures were then extrapolated and used on infants to test the theory. Infants were raised as the opposite sex and given the name of the opposite sex. The prestigious academic medical community at large had shunned these practices of Dr. Money.

A study was conducted in Sweden of those who had undergone gender transitions. Those who had worked to change their gender, whether through hormones and/or physical surgeries, had a 19% higher suicide rate than the general population. This was published in 2012. Sweden was incredibly tolerant and affirming of transgender. To say that these studies are not valid is a political agenda. It is not based on science.

By 2009 the endocrine society in the United States came up with a special interest group within themselves (all transgender agenda) and developed guidelines that were very similar to WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health), and made them recommendations.

But what can parents do, in today’s society, to raise healthy children who may question their gender? Compassion for the child is absolutely paramount. Parents need to express their love and accept the child at the moment for their suffering. They should work to seek out counseling. In fact, roughly 98% in boys and 88% in girls that a child will return to their biological sex following the removal of turmoil in their life. Sometimes this is a short process, but many times it is a long process. It requires family support.

Episode Highlights:

We’ll be picking up a conversation we started last time with Dr. Quentin Van Meter concerning the physiological and psychological truths and myths relating to the LGBT community; particularly as they pertain to those struggling through transgender issues. Today, we’ll continue that conversation; but, we’re going to take a deeper look at the history, the […]

But today we are not living in a world of objective truth. We have found ourselves in a subjective universe where my truth is good for me. But what does that mean for our youth as they grow, learn and discover more about themselves? How do we help them understand and navigate the difficult period of life called adolescence? Today, Dr. Van Meter joins us to speak on some of the gender issues and topics in the headlines today.

Dr. Van Meter is a Pediatric endocrinologist in Atlanta, GA. He is affiliated with Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta. He received his medical degree from Virginia Commonwealth University School of medicine. He has been in private practice since 1991, after a 20-year career in the Navy medical corps. He moved to the Atlanta area where he developed his own full-time practice. He is a clinical associate professor of pediatrics at both Emory University and Morehouse schools of medicine. Earlier this year he stepped into the role of President of American College of Pediatricians.

Gender Identity Disorder and Gender Dysphoria

Endocrinology is the study of hormones and their action within the body. It is a very logical balance of nature that flows out of the basis of science.

The hormones that govern how we develop from the fetal stage up to birth essentially create the anatomical outward appearance of our biological sex. Our biological sex is not assigned by a physician at birth but is created at the moment of conception. We do not decide this as a professional.

There are a lot of parents out there that are hearing terms like gender dysphoria and gender identity disorder. Gender identity disorder was a term used to describe the emotional condition and suffering around not identifying yourself as the same as your biological sex. What has happened with the term and language over time, when you fill out a form there’s a 50/50 chance that you will check a box for your sex or gender? But really what it is is sex. It is not a connotation of sexual activity, but it is biological. It is male or female. Gender is a linguistic term developed later that referred to languages such as French or German. It did not deal with humans until Dr. John Money later started using the term as the internal sexual identity that a person perceives. The concept of gender is that it is separate from sex. It is a social construct that the person believes or perceives themselves to be. Sex is physiological. Gender is psychological.

Gender identity disorder was a term used to describe the concept of feeling born into the wrong body. This was thought to be or suggested to be a mental state that was an actual disorder. The pressure was to normalize this, suggesting that there cannot be treated because if it’s normal it does not require treatment. Dr. Zucker was behind changing the term in the DSM-5 to gender dysphoria which means “out of sync” as a caveat for an individual to receive medication. He created this term so that an individual believing they were in fact born into the wrong body but had some sort of associated mental suffering could receive treatment.

But are transgender individuals born that way? Dr. Van Meter states that “there is no biological evidence, and has it ever been searched for. Dr. Francis Collins stated that there is absolutely no biological evidence for same-sex attraction or transgenderism.” There are a number of theories that have been evaluated. One theory is that there is likely a personality type that is vulnerable to develop into same-sex attraction. However, this has not yet been shown in these studies.

There was a study done with London cab drivers before GPS. These drivers had memorized every grid of the streets that they needed to take their passengers. They knew everywhere they had to be to be licensed as a cab driver. Their brains were physically different. This was not something they were born with. This is called neuroplasticity. The same thing would be said of same-sex individuals.

But today we are not living in a world of objective truth. We have found ourselves in a subjective universe where my truth is good for me. But what does that mean for our youth as they grow, learn and discover more about themselves? How do we help them understand and navigate the difficult period […]

Could we actually be the financiers and the brokers between our own kids and the Silicon Valley iSlave masters who’ve marketed their wares to our children’s carnal appetites, habits and addictions? Have we mortgaged our kids’ childhood for a convenient digital babysitter that molests our kids with amusements that destroy brain matter, personal relationships, emotional health, and spiritual well-being? And, like the slavery debate that divided the church—and our whole country—back in the 1860s, some Christians, today, are finding that other Christians seem to be perfectly OK with it all. Examining the risk against the reward of naively following today’s digital status quo.

Tom Kersting is an expert in the field of mental health, families, parenting in the digital age, and over-device use, as he provides advice to millions of people through regular television appearances, radio and print media, books and private sessions. He is a straight shooter, and passionate about helping families whether in crisis or just in disaccord.

Tom holds advanced degrees including a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from St. Thomas Aquinas College, a Master’s degree in Counseling & Human Development and a second Master’s in Administration & Supervision, both from Montclair State University. Tom also holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Hypnotherapy (alternative/non-traditional) from Kona University. Tom is also a former semi-professional baseball player, an avid golfer and dedicated to fitness.

Brain Pathways, Digital Withdrawl, and a Need to Disconnect

Tom Kersting’s book, Disconnected, stemmed from an observation he made in his private practice about ten years ago. “What I write about in my book, Disconnected, began when I found a tremendous amount of teenagers being diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, many years ago, and I knew that something was wrong. I did some research and found that screen time was changing brain neuro pathways and creating a lack of focus and inattentiveness. I released the book because what I am seeing from a family perspective is discord.”

One term used to describe today’s social media hold on American youth (and adults) is iSlavery. Essentially, technology is a media for control. This has been witnessed time and again in our culture, as tech gurus, investors, and early adopters have come forward about the ill intentions of technical giants. There is a Waldorf school out in Silicon Valley. This is a school that uses a pencil and paper and virtually no technology. 70% of the students are children of big tech companies.

But what is actually happening to the brains of children who have access to screens at a young age? If you’ve ever seen the photo of a brain you’ve seen what looks like a tree branch. Those are neuro pathways. Each of those pathways is critical to human function. You need one to communicate, one to focus, one to cope, so on and so forth. Now when the brain is involved in something highly stimulating for 3 hrs or more per day, the brain will grow new pathways to adapt to that environment. The average child is spending an average of 9 hrs a day on digital technology, and their brains are adapting. The ripple effect is increased anxiety, etc.

There is also a new sense of divisiveness within our country today, largely in part to the expansion and growth of technology and social media. When did something like politics suddenly become the mainstay in everyone’s life? Because of social media and the deluge of information, people are being so easily led and are allowing media to create beliefs for them.

We want to equip parents to deal with the issues that we are talking about today. But how do you start limiting screen time and smartphone access? What if they can access it on the device of others? In all of my lectures, no parent has ever raised their hand in one of my lectures to say they think that giving a child access to all the information they ever wanted was a good idea.

Could we actually be the financiers and the brokers between our own kids and the Silicon Valley iSlave masters who’ve marketed their wares to our children’s carnal appetites, habits and addictions? Have we mortgaged our kids’ childhood for a convenient digital babysitter that molests our kids with amusements that destroy brain matter, personal relationships, emotional […]