License to Parent with Trace Embry

Why is it so important to have not only parents, but also other positive influences around our daughters? Those influences being other authorities who will not just accept them, but be willing to help rescue them when they aren’t able to accept or rescue themselves. Your daughter is even more precious in God's eyes than in your own. All the more reason to be willing and equipped to fight for her.

Throughout her decade-plus career as a songwriter, recording artist, and author, Plumb has found success in a myriad of genres, selling over half a million albums and millions of singles sold and streamed worldwide. Her music has been a favorite with music supervisors, having her songs included in dozens of ad campaigns, movies, and TV placements. Her career achieved an incredible milestone with her prophetic, bestselling 2012 album, Need You Now. This groundbreaking album was followed by its corresponding memoir, Need You Now: A Story of Hope, that chronicled the miraculous restoration of her marriage. These projects were followed by the 2015 breakout album, Exhale, and her 2017 EP, God Help Me.

Now, with her 8th studio album, Beautifully Broken, Plumb launches as an independent artist, releasing the album on her own label, as the first component of multiple creative projects. Produced by Jeremy Redmon (Big Daddy Weave), the 11-track album showcases a powerful theme of releasing shame and trusting God’s love, amidst our flaws and insecurities.

How to Fulfill Your Daughter’s Need to be Rescued

I mentioned earlier that girls want to be rescued. They really do want their moms, dads, and future husbands to be willing to fight for them—for the sake of their honor and well-being.

When our girls grow up and become wives and mothers of their own, they’ll want their husbands and kids to fight for their honor and well-being just like they want us, as parents, to fight for them right now. That’s just how most females are wired. You’ve heard the saying a million times, “Don’t you be talking about my momma!” You’ve also heard the multitude of jokes about what dads are capable of doing to any guy who tries to dishonor his daughter. Generally speaking, God has simply wired us this way, because girls are special. We all have value, but, that value is largely unique to each gender. Men are usually more the aggressor, provider, and protector types. Women can do all these things too, but I stand by the argument that, generally speaking, men are more wired-up and built for it. Women are usually the more compassionate, nurturing, and agreeable gender. As an aside, there is no real distinction between sex and gender—that’s a terribly misguided human construct that has done more damage to confused kids, and today’s society, than I can talk about right now.

There is a continuum of personality traits where some boys show more feminine traits than others, and vice versa with girls. But, they’re still boys and the girls are still girls. That doesn’t mean there’s a point where one end of this “gender continuum” should be allowed to betray what chromosomes and anatomy clearly identifies as sex and/or gender. My wife was a tomboy, and her records in high school track still stand to this day, but, she’s still the epitome of femininity at the same time. She’s agreeable, compassionate, and nurturing—almost to a fault. The consummate mother. Her priorities, however, are in league with a biblical world view. Her kids are not the most important thing in her life, and neither am I. I’m glad my wife has another man in her life, and his name is Jesus. Even still, you don’t dare mess with her kids. Though she’d die to defend, protect, and rescue her kids, she still wants a man to rescue her, if the circumstances merited it.

I’m not saying that circumstances can’t dictate when a man actually needs or wants to be rescued—just ask any guy who’s ever been lost at sea or pinned down in a foxhole on the battlefield.

Why is it so important to have not only parents, but also other positive influences around our daughters? Those influences being other authorities who will not just accept them, but be willing to help rescue them when they aren’t able to accept or rescue themselves. Your daughter is even more precious in God’s eyes than […]

Things can become absolutely cataclysmic for whole countries when fools, somehow, find their way into the ruling class—law enforcement, lawyers, law-makers, judges, presidents, governors, mayors—even school board members. Since fools have now sailed their ships into the influential waters of today’s American culture, as parents it’s time to identify, define, expose, and then help right the insanity that guides these ships, lest our kids fall prey to the fools who sail them.

Tucker Carlson currently serves as the host of FOX News Channel's (FNC) Tucker Carlson Tonight (weekdays 8PM/ET). He joined the network in 2009 as a contributor.

On his program each night, Carlson features powerful analysis and spirited debates with guests from across the political and cultural spectrum. Bringing his signature style to tackle issues largely uncovered by the media, Carlson challenges political correctness and media bias with segments like "Campus Craziness" and "TwitterStorm."

We are interviewing Tucker for his new book Ship of Fools

How to Define Wisdom in a Post-Modern Society

Wikipedia defines wisdom as “having good judgement,” but, in today’s postmodern world, even the term “good” is only as good as “good” is defined. Without an absolute moral component in the definitions of both “wisdom” and “good,” both are virtually meaningless. A “good time” to a fool might mean vandalizing a neighborhood or molesting a bunch of kids, while wisdom might simply mean devising a plan to get away with it all. Is the fool’s definition of “good” actually good in the absolute true sense of the word? Of course not. True wisdom always requires a moral component to it. As I see it, the redefinition of terms is the root of so many American problems today, and that includes the problems parents are having with their kids.

Redefining terms is how that ship of fools creeped into our ruling class to begin with. It’s also why they stay at least 5 squares behind the real problems they claim they want to solve. They fixate on predicates when subjects are the problem, and they argue subjects with false premises. Why? Because their postmodern and politically-correct worldviews allow their feelings to trump facts—all while using traditional terms with non-traditional definitions. Wisdom is just one of many terms they’ve redefined these days. They talk about love and it means lust. They talk about freedom—but, it’s not the freedom to do what you ought—ought implies a moral absolute. It’s now the freedom to do what you want. Unborn babies are called fetuses. Illegal-aliens are now undocumented immigrants. Self-discipline in now repression.

Common sense no longer exists. It can’t, because we no longer share a common idealogical or moral point of reference. Despite the smoke screen created by this ship of fools, our nation’s division isn’t about race—or even about politics.It’s really about ideology and the very fundamentals of life, such as what it means to be human, what it means to be male or female, does God exist, and can we know God.

If we can’t agree on the basics of reality, where are we going? The foolishness that’s permeated our ruling class and intelligentsia has now become systemic to our entire culture, because we don’t think critically anymore. Why should we when Google does it for us? If you want to know how the NATSAP defines “culture,” they define it as, “The ideas, institutions and interactions that tell a people group how to think feel and act.” We can’t keep allowing our kids to be deluged with the same cultural slime as the garden-variety heathen, and expect that they won't be groomed for mental illness too.

Sin, foolishness, and mental-illness are all related, and they all lead to destruction and death. We’ve got to park the smartphones and teach kids how to identify and properly define these terms. The book of Proverbs would be a great start. Then, we have to model true wisdom before them.

Things can become absolutely cataclysmic for whole countries when fools, somehow, find their way into the ruling class—law enforcement, lawyers, law-makers, judges, presidents, governors, mayors—even school board members. Since fools have now sailed their ships into the influential waters of today’s American culture, as parents it’s time to identify, define, expose, and then help right […]

Join us as we continue this discussion, and also how one starts the ball rolling on getting into a residential program, what to expect, and what changes may be needed beyond fixing your teen.

What Does a Residential Program Look Like, and How to Enroll Your Teen

If you missed last week’s episode, part I of this conversation, I would encourage you to listen to it. You can find it on www.licensetoparent.org, or by clicking the link, above.

When you’re close to a situation, it can be hard to see the forest for the trees. This can make it difficult for parents to identify how bad things have escalated with their teen, and at what point that teen is needing residential care. In situations like this, it can help to get an outsider’s perspective. Talking to family, a pastor, or seeing a licensed therapist can help those parents gain more\

perspective.

Most residential care programs, like Shepherd’s Hill Academy, have a family’s best interest at heart. Some families may not be a good fit for what we can offer, and there have been times where we’ve told a family just that. Be aware, however, that there are therapeutic programs who might not have a family’s best interest at heart, and take in any child who come their way, even if they’re not a good fit. These places are running their therapeutic programs strictly as a business. There is always, of course, a component of business management in any non-profit organization, but at Shepherd’s Hill Academy, we choose not to sacrifice our integrity for the bottom dollar. When seeking out a residential program, it’s imperative for parents to interview the program administration, kids in the program - if the program allows it, and other parents whose children are currently enrolled.

The enrollment process can be an emotional time. Family members, friends, and maybe even fellow church members may make parents feel guilty for sending their son or daughter to a residential program. However, unless you live with a troubled teen, it can be difficult to fully understand the presenting issues. We at Shepherd’s Hill want family to be involved and to see what we’re doing. For this very reason, we have a parent conference twice a year so that families can come out and experience what we’re doing first-hand.

Another hurdle that families may encounter is finding negative online feedback about a program. Every program has some amount of negative feedback, because none of them can be 100% successful. Often times, troubled teens who were not successful in residential care will go online to write negative feedback about their given program. In reading these reviews, parents need to use caution and discretion. This, again, points back to the importance of interviewing the program and parents of current enrollees.

Something that is often overlooked when talking about residential programs is how the parents can be involved. At Shepherd’s Hill Academy, we have a policy that teens can not call home for the first couple of months. Most programs have a similar policy. After those two months have passed, we begin sending a weekly parent report. We also begin allowing Skype calls, family weekends, and even a monthly parent workshop. In these workshops, parents come to learn important information about raising teens in this modern world.

As important as parental involvement at Shepherd’s Hill may be, there is still a component of making changes within the home in preparation for their child’s return. Each child is different, and so we prepare plans that are tailored for their individual families. These plans discuss changes that will best facilitate that teen’s successful homecoming. The degree of willingness for a family to implement such changes often determines how successful a teen will be after returning home.

This is part 2. If you missed the first episode, click here.

What can I do if long term residential is not a fit for my family.

Join us as we continue this discussion, and also how one starts the ball rolling on getting into a residential program, what to expect, and what changes may be needed beyond fixing your teen. What Does a Residential Program Look Like, and How to Enroll Your Teen If you missed last week’s episode, part I […]

Some examples of these residual effects include: havoc in the home, the guilt that accompanies our feelings of inadequacy as parents, embarrassment and shame, friends, extended family, and our church community being made aware of our situation, the legal costs often incurred, property damage, time away from work to handle problems at home, marital problems, hospital stays, and more. These are all part of having a child with behavioral or emotional issues. When our kids are out of control, and we’re out of answers, what then?

When and Where Parents Can Seek Help for Their Troubled Teen

More and more kids are dealing with behavioral and mental issues today. Statistics show a rise in the number of kids being enrolled in short-term psychiatric hospitals and longer-term therapy programs, like Shepherd’s Hill Academy. The world has become more complicated over the past ten years, and healthcare professionals don’t know how to handle it; some even become complicit in the issues themselves.

Many of today’s problems stem from our morally declining American culture. These problems are Orwellian in nature, and find us seeking to redefine our reality. Majority of U.S. citizens seem to have already adjusted to this, but that adjustment doesn’t make us less sick. Much of this decivilization and rise in mental illness is a natural consequence of sin that today’s society has normalized. This proves that sin can, in fact, make you sick.

Romans 12:2 warned us against conforming to the patterns of this world, saying we should instead be transformed by the renewing of our mind. As Christians, we are called to conform to the mind of Christ, regardless of what our culture is doing, or what the law is saying. The issue is, we have conformed to this world, and now we’re paying the price for it.

If you find yourself dealing with the issues of raising a troubled teen, there are various avenues for seeking help. Of course there are residential programs, like Shepherd’s Hill Academy, but those programs aren’t necessary for all individuals. There are ways to get ahead of behavioral issues before residential care is sought out. The first step is seeking wisdom from the Lord and His Word. After that, options can include going to your extended family for advice and seeking counsel from your church congregants and pastor. Eventually, if issues persist, professional Christian counseling may also need to be sought out.

When all other options have been exhausted, and residential care is explored, it’s important to understand that a certain amount of financial costs will be incurred. Things such as teacher salaries, food, licensed therapists, state fees, etc. can add up. Shepherd’s Hill Academy, for example, has twice as many staff as we do kids, and that’s what it takes to get help to them. Residential programs offer a full-on 24/7, 365 day, immersion in therapeutic intervention. Kids are removed from the influence of things like secular music, tv shows, movies, and other distractions that are destroying their worldview and encouraging rebellion. Shepherd’s Hill Academy also has residential counselors who model what it’s like to live a Christ-centered life. They live and eat with these students and serve as a sort of mentor.

In the next part of this series, we’ll discuss what it looks like when you’ve come to the point of needing to seek residential care for your teen, and how to find the right program. You don’t want to send your kid just anywhere.

Understanding decivilization

Roots of teenage behavioral issues

The problem with conformity to this world

Ways to find help for troubled teens

Photo by: Erik F. Brandsborg, via flickr

Some examples of these residual effects include: havoc in the home, the guilt that accompanies our feelings of inadequacy as parents, embarrassment and shame, friends, extended family, and our church community being made aware of our situation, the legal costs often incurred, property damage, time away from work to handle problems at home, marital problems, […]

New technology has lead to a rise in digital bullying tactics. The human sin nature has, of course, taken full advantage of these new practices which allow them to bully those who were not-so-easy to be taken advantage of in the purely physical realm. Today we’ll examine the subject of bullying and how we can best keep our kids from being victims and/or perpetrators of this dark and abusive practice.

June Hunt is an author, speaker, and the founder of Hope for the Heart, a worldwide biblical counseling ministry. She hosts the award-winning radio broadcast Hope for the Heart, which is syndicated all across America. In addition, June also hosts Hope in the Night, a live two-hour call-in counseling program. Hope in the Night helps people to untangle their problems using both biblical hope and practical help.

June’s work has her teaching on topics such as crisis counseling, marriage & parenting, child abuse, domestic violence, depression, alcohol & drug abuse, forgiveness, singleness, and self-worth. Not only taught in the U.S., June’s teachings can also be heard in more than 60 countries, with her work being translated into 29 languages. June’s books have sold over a million copies, and include: Bonding with Your Teen Through Boundaries, The Answer to Anger, Seeing Yourself Through God’s Eyes, How to Forgive When You Don’t Feel Like It, and the book we will be discussing today, Bullying: Bully No More.

Understanding Digital Bullying Tactics Can Help Parents Prevent These Practices

I think about everyone has been bullied, or knows of someone who’s been bullied, at one time or another in their lives. And it might even be true to say that an equal amount of those people have actually done a little bullying themselves.

If you’ve ever had younger siblings, it’s probably—in the lion’s share of cases—nothing more than playful banter, and just part of growing up. I don’t think there’s any real malice involved in this equation. I think the kind of bullying we’re going to be talking about today, however, is quite a bit more dangerous, and more serious, than what might be better-defined as sibling rivalry. And that’s not to say there’s never been some genuine hardcore bullying among family members—because, we know that happens too.

I was bullied as a kid, and it can be downright traumatic. I remember having to find alternative routes home from school, when I was in the 4th grade, on account of two 6th graders who made it their daily ambition and goal to rearrange my facial structure before I got home. Most days I managed to elude them, but you’d be surprised how many blocks out of the way I’d walk or run just to get home without needing plastic surgery. The crazy thing was, my house was only four doors down from the schoolyard! One of those 6th graders was my next-door neighbor—so he wasn’t going away!

I was actually more afraid of telling my parents about the bullying than I was of the bullies themselves. My mom would have just made things worse for me—at least that was my thinking. My stepdad would’ve probably enjoyed watching me get beat up. My dad—who, because of divorce, didn’t live in that house—would probably have been jailed. He was the kind of guy who would’ve made me fight both boys, and expected me to win. Then, if I didn’t win, he’d wear me out—after he wore out the two boys. After that, if the parents of the boys had a problem with their kids being worn out by my dad, he would have thought nothing of wearing out their parents too. That’s just the kind of guy he was, and I wasn’t up for making a bad thing worse. My dad wasn’t your stereotypical bully, however, he definitely had some vigilante in him. So, I didn’t tell anybody—just to keep the peace. Whether or not any of those things would have actually happened, I knew it wouldn’t have been out of the question. So that’s how I processed it all as a petrified 4th grader. Today, bullying can take on a totally new look,

New technology has lead to a rise in digital bullying tactics. The human sin nature has, of course, taken full advantage of these new practices which allow them to bully those who were not-so-easy to be taken advantage of in the purely physical realm. Today we’ll examine the subject of bullying and how we can […]