Life as Leadership: Where Leaders Gather to Grow Together

Josh, Bryce, and Jake discuss Monday's interview with Oscar Trimboli on the five levels of deep listening. Their discussion includes whether or not they listen well, some of the difficulties of deep listening, why we do not always ask the deeper level of questions, and what level of listening we use the most. They also discuss Oscar's point about the emphasis on using speaking to influence in the 20th century versus the need for listening as leaders in the 21st century.

Key Takeaways:

- Use listening as an opportunity to learn more about the person and not just what they're talking about.

- The concept of dadirri: life is communal, and we need to be involved this way to be good listeners.

- "Hydrate or die-drate"

- The three points to help with level 1 listening (listening to yourself): 1) Turn off your phone when entering into a conversation, 2) Take a few breathes to become present, 3) Drink a cup of water!

- Asking the follow-up questions.

- Listen to help people understanding themselves better so they can make better questions for themselves. This will lead to more empowered people and a more effective organization.

Oscar Trimboli is on a quest to create 100 million Deep Listeners in the world. He Sydney, Australia and is an author, host of the Apple Award winning podcast Deep Listening and a sought-after keynote speaker. He has been a marketing director at Vodafone and Microsoft, and he is passionate about using the gift of listening to bring positive change in homes, workplaces around the world. Through his work with boards of directors and executive teams in organizations around the world, Oscar has experienced firsthand the transformational impact leaders and organizations can have when they listen beyond the words. He consults organizations including Cisco, Google, HSBC, News Corp, PayPal, Qantas, TripAdvisor helping executives and their teams listen to what’s unsaid by the customers and employees.

The Five Levels of Listening:

1. Listen to yourself

2. Listen to content

3. Listen to context

4. Listen to understand

5. Listen to meaning

LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

- "If your goal can be achieved in your lifetime, it's not big enough."

- People speak at 125 words per minute, people listen at 400 words per minute, and people think at 900 words per minute. The likelihood that what someone says is what they think is very small!

- Practice finding out what people are thinking (beyond what they just initially say).

- The "Ultimate Ninja Move" of listening is listening to what's unsaid and asking for more.

- Turn off your phone, take a deep breath, and keep your brain hydrated in order to listen to yourself (Level 1 listening).

- Make sure you're at eye-level, notice their body language, notice when people change how they hold/carry themselves (Level 2 listening)

- Know the backstory and notice patterns in their words (Level 3 listening).

- Ask "what else" (Level 4 listening).

- The 20th century was spent teaching people to speak with influence and impact. The 21st century will be about learning to listen to others and to mobilize them to take action in their own lives.

- Action that people feel the need to take is more effective than action people are made to make.

QUESTIONS TO INSPIRE US TO ACTION

– What is some lesson, saying, or experience that continues to influence your leadership to this day? "Do or do not, there is no try" - Yoda

– Use three descriptors to finish this sentence: “A leader is…” Curious, generous, full of faults.

– What is a question that leaders should be asking either themselves or others? "I'm curious what you haven't said."

– What book would you recommend to leaders? Atomic Habits by James Clear

– If you could get every listener to start doing something THIS week to help them be a better leader, what would it be? Switch your devices to flight mode (or off) when entering into a conversation.

– As a general life principle, is it better to ask “why?” or “why not?” "Why?" But be careful: Why-based questions often trigger judgement. Good why-based questions should encourage people to explore different horizons.

Website:

www.listeningmyths.com

Josh, Cody, and Molly talk about Monday's interview with the teachers at the Paramount Schools Network (AKA the leadership reflection episode). Their discussion includes how your followers might describe your leadership, what you would want them to say, the weight we place on character and competence in our own leadership, and how to handle high expectations for volunteers. They also pose this question: Do you know where your followers want to go both personally and professionally? If you know this and can get them to those points, you will be able to have incredible influence in the lives of others.

Key Takeaways:

- Be the leaders that people feel valued by and stronger for knowing.

- Be positive and don't encourage discussing others in the organization (gossip).

- Maintain high expectations. People will rise to the level you set.

- Own your results and teach others to do the same.

- Figure out how to help your followers achieve their goals - both personal and professional.

The Paramount Schools are a three-school network with over 900 students in Indianapolis. These schools exist to inspire learning through an unparalleled academic approach and to transform communities by changing lives. Today we’re talking about the different that leadership can make in an educational context.

LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

- High expectations from the leaders positively affect the rest of the team.

- Tiered growth helps followers grow at a healthy rate.

- Observation is intended to help (rather than feeling punitive or overly evaluative).

- Observation is consistent rather than occasional, which helps with more consistent improvement.

- Leaders only assess/evaluate/coach newer teachers on foundational skills.

- Model a culture of not making excuses and of owning your own results.

- Leaders are aware of personal and professional goals of followers and help followers to accomplish and improve on those goals.

- The principle everybody loves everybody helps to develop a gossip-free workplace.

QUESTIONS TO INSPIRE US TO ACTION

- What is some lesson, saying, or experience that continues to influence your leadership to this day?

Megan: Everybody loves everybody

Hannah: A grace-filled observation review in her first year teaching. A good examples of high expectations combined with empathy.

- Use three descriptors to finish this sentence: “A leader is…”

Liz: Confident, patient, committed.

Hannah: Self-effacing, uncomplaining, unflappable.

- What is a question that leaders should be asking either themselves or others?

Megan: "How can I continue to improve?"

Hannah: "What can I do to lighten your load?"

- What book would you recommend to leaders?

Liz: The Four Agreements by Don Ruiz.

Hannah: Deep Work by Cal Newport.

- If you could get every listener to start doing something THIS week to help them be a better leader, what would it be?

Keith: Take responsibility.

Hannah: Look for a way to bring someone else's accomplishments to light.

Megan: Focus on ways to improve something everyday.

Liz: Observe your actions.

- As a general life principle, is it better to ask “why?” or “why not?”

Keith: "Why?" because it's a helpful way to figure out if you're on the same page in order to commit to the team.

Hannah: "Why?" because it's more important to pare down what is most valuable.

Liz: "Why?"

Megan: "Why not?" because it helps for thinking of things in a positive light and focusing on doing things rather than not doing things.

Website:

https://paramountindy.org

Josh, Cody, and Molly talk about Monday's interview with the leadership team from the Paramount Schools. Their discussion includes their own interview experiences (whether they focused on character like Paramount does or competence like others popularly do), traits to look for when developing your own team, what it takes to be coachable, and how to develop people without overwhelming them. They also discuss the relationship between charisma and substance. Substance is something the Paramount leadership team preferred significantly over charisma.

Key Takeaways:

- Be coachable (don't just look for others to coach!).

- Be going in the same direction as the rest of your organization (especially your leadership team).

- Know what you want and need before building your team.

- Be open to changing directions if you are not able to accomplish what you want with your current strategy or approach.

- Prioritize substance over charisma.

The Paramount Schools are a three-school network with over 900 students in Indianapolis. These schools exist to inspire learning through an unparalleled academic approach and to transform communities by changing lives. Today we’re talking about the different that leadership can make in an educational context.

LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

- Look to hire people who already align with your value system and are coachable.

- Ask character-based questions in interviews rather than content-based questions.

- It is easier to teach someone to be a teacher than to grow them in their value system.

- Be willing to change if your original ideas don't seem to be working.

- The needs of the people you serve may be different than the needs of the people you served in the past.

- Give everyone a "seat at the table," but give people influence relative to their experience and level of responsibility.

- Start and end critique on a positive note.

- Have a clear vision, crate a safe working environment, and cultivate leadership.

- Focus on substance over charisma.

QUESTIONS TO INSPIRE US TO ACTION

- What is some lesson, saying, or experience that continues to influence your leadership to this day?

Scott: Being willing to see what changes needed to be made when the school was not functioning as expected.

Mary: The idea of ownership over buy-in. Teachers and teacher leaders are involved in the decision process, so they feel ownership of the decisions.

- Use three descriptors to finish this sentence: “A leader is…”

Kyle: A good listener

Scott: (Positive, relaxed, and solution-based)

Dexter: Understanding

- What is a question that leaders should be asking either themselves or others?

Scott: Am I modeling what we understand as exemplary behavior?

- What book would you recommend to leaders?

Scott: Talent is Overrated, Geoffrey Colvin

Kyle: Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick Lencioni

Dexter: Neuroteach, Glen Whitman

- If you could get every listener to start doing something THIS week to help them be a better leader, what would it be?

Dexter and Scott: Listen to learn

Scott: Take responsibility

- As a general life principle, is it better to ask “why?” or “why not?”

Dexter: "Why?" because you get a better understanding of intentions and the value that can be taken from the question.

Scott: "Why?" because it is in response to others' opinions and feelings.

Mary: "Why?" because it is open-ended, and it is less likely to come across as combative.

Kyle: "Why?" because it works well in the context of a trusting community.

Website:

https://paramountindy.org

Josh, Jonathan, and Maria talk about Monday's interview with Larry Brown, who is a recently retired partner from PricewaterhouseCoopers. Their conversation includes how to handle yourself when you are used to being one of the best at what you do but find yourself around a bunch of other people who are just as excellent. They also discuss how to direct and advise people to areas that fit them better, how to develop yourself as a leader, and what they might add to Larry Brown's list of four "first order principles" of leadership.

Key Takeaways:

- Help people reach their potential as well as the organizational goal. This means getting to know people and being able to connect them well.

- Use tact. Just because a leader knows where people fit best does not give the leader license to wound others with the truth.

- Invest in people. It will be your most valuable investment.

- Do what you need to do to help people give their best and find their place, even if that means tough conversations and tough decisions.

- Prepare people so that they can continue when you're gone.

- Face the future. Be flexible. Stay open to opportunity. Things will likely not turn out exactly how to expect, so be open and flexible to opportunities as they arise.

Larry Brown is a recently retired PricewaterhouseCoopers partner. During his 38 year career at PwC, Larry provided financial planning and tax compliance services to high net worth individuals. He led the Personal Financial Services practice in the Pittsburgh and Chicago offices. His final nine years were internal to the firm serving the partners and staff as the National Benefits leader. In addition to his professional career, Larry has been active as a leader of nonprofit boards in Pittsburgh, Chicago and his alma mater. Larry is a CPA with a BA from Asbury University and an MBA from the University of Pittsburgh.

LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

- Getting the best out of every individual will result in the best result for the organization.

- Shine your stars, feed your workhorses, and burn the dead wood to keep everyone warm.

- Leaders need to keep the common goal in mind.

- Leaders need to have integrity.

- Leaders need to be excellent preparers.

- Leaders need to be confident but not prideful.

- Listen to others - especially the majority "in the middle" who don't usually speak up.

- Be true to yourself, your faith, and your principles.

- Observe, observe, observe! Adopt what is appropriate and stay away from what you think is inappropriate.

- Be flexible - the future and opportunities are unknown!

- Understand that the future will be very different than what we imagine it to be. Study and think about the possibilities in preparation for whatever it becomes.

QUESTIONS TO INSPIRE US TO ACTION

- What is some lesson, saying, or experience that continues to influence your leadership to this day? Not everyone is a soloist, but everyone has something to contribute.

- Use three descriptors to finish this sentence: “A leader is…” Trustworthy, flexible, and self-confident (but not prideful).

- What is a question that leaders should be asking either themselves or others? Given the organizational goal, what is the best course of action for our constituents today and in the future?

- What book would you recommend to leaders? Marching off the Map by Tim Elmore.

- If you could get every listener to start doing something THIS week to help them be a better leader, what would it be? Remind yourself of the organization's goal (both macro and micro), know the situation (is it a crisis or normal-course), and study other leaders (assess the good/bad, implement what makes sense to you).

- As a general life principle, is it better to ask “why?” or “why not?” It depends on which direction you're look. Ask "why?" when looking back and to set the base for looking forward and asking, "why not?"

Josh, Elijah, and Thomas talk about Monday's interview with Peter Kerr. Their discussion includes the importance of delegation and what good delegation takes, Kerr's definition of humility, and the difficulties of humility and open communication between a leader and followers. They also discuss how leaders can create a culture of celebration and the tension between being an effective communicator and being authentic.

Key Takeaways:

- Dr. Kerr's definition of leadership: Greatness that does not expect recognition.

- Immediate tasks look most important, but developing people is always more important.

- Always be ready and willing to help others through your communication.

- Take responsibility for failure - even if it was a follower who dropped the ball.

- Go above and beyond. Beat expectations, don't just meet them.

- Start and maintain a consistent sleep schedule for health and optimized productivity.

Peter Kerr started his own leadership consulting company that provides world-class training for media engagement, public relations, crisis planning, public speaking and leadership improvement. He has worked with nearly every large national and international media outlet and was responsible for media relations in Washington D.C. during the 2004 Ronald Reagan state funeral and served as the Chief Media Liaison Officer for all Outdoor Games in Beijing for the 2008 Olympics. He led the media training team at the Pentagon for two years and has media trained hundreds of leaders including White House officials, politicians, military generals, CEOs, communications directors, and non-profit leaders. He has traveled to more than 50 countries on six continents and speaks multiple languages.

LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

- Do not micromanage - give your followers and employees room to fail.

- Celebration with people is what gives you the right to rebuke people.

- You can handle a lot of failure, overcome it, and be fine.

- The immediate usually matters less than we think in the moment.

- It's better to beat than to meet deadlines.

- Be enthusiastic.

- Show that you care for your followers.

- In communication: always adapt to your audience rather than trying to impress them as a way to serve them (rather than to exploit them).

- Discipline should always include a balance of mercy and justice.

- Humility is greatness that does not expect recognition or special treatment.

- Have a vision for the future and be able to communicate that vision.

- Empower others to accomplish that vision.

- Keep the big picture while others are focused on enacting parts of it.

ABOUT Kerr Communications

- Provides training for organizations on the practices of media engagement, public relations, crisis planning, public speaking and leadership improvement.

QUESTIONS TO INSPIRE US TO ACTION

- What is some lesson, saying, or experience that continues to influence your leadership to this day? Peter's father (a Major) picking up trash on a military base, even though he outranked everyone else there.

- Use three descriptors to finish this sentence: “A leader is…” Self-disciplined, focused on the mission, and able to motivate others.

- What is a question that leaders should be asking either themselves or others? "What is the future that my organization is heading toward, do I like it, and can I get there faster?"

- What book would you recommend to leaders? Reality Check, Guy Kawasaki

- If you could get every listener to start doing something THIS week to help them be a better leader, what would it be? Get enough sleep (and have a consistent sleep schedule - even on weekends). Your body will need less sleep to be just as effective.

- ​As a general life principle, is it better to ask “why?” or “why not?” Tell people the "why?" but ask the "why not?"

Website:

https://www.kerrcommunications.com

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Music credits:DJ Quads | Cruise Around | Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads/cruise-aroundDJ Quads | Smile | https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads/smileDJ Quads | It Just Makes Me Happy | Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/aka-dj-quads/it-just-makes-me-happy