Life as Leadership: Where Leaders Gather to Grow Together

Josh, Hannah, and Parker discuss Monday's episode with Eric Maddox and his method of empathy-based listening that led to the capture of Saddam Hussein. Their conversation includes how to follow the direction that the person you're talking is leading without letting them take the conversation in strange or unhelpful directions. They also discuss how to listen with empathy when you don't have time and how to balance transactional vs. empathetic listening.

Key Takeaways:

- Get out of your own way in the conversation - don't come with assumptions or preset questions.

- Conversation isn't primarily about persuasion or force but about getting the other person to understand that you are for them.

- Influence is more power when gained via trust through listening.

- Listen for where the other person wants to go in a conversation.

- Ask yourself why you're having the conversation.

- Practice by talking to someone you know, listen to them, respond to feeling and content, and attempt to summarize without asking questions.

Eric Maddox is the Army interrogator who, while attached to a Delta Force team in Iraq, collected the intelligence which led to the capture of Saddam Hussein. He subsequently became the first civilian interrogator for the Defense Intelligence Agency and went on to conduct over 2700 interrogations. Eric has repeatedly been able to influence those who have zero trust in him, to make the decision to give him information, even more than he asked, without using torture. Eric honed his systematic methods of creating influence in hostile environments but has found they are equally as useful in building or retaining relationships of all sorts. If you would like to hear more from Eric, check out his own podcast called http://ericmaddox.com/podcast/ (Creating Influence).

LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

- Put all your distractions behind you when you're talking to people.

- Don't bring pre-conceived notions to a discussion. Listen to people and get out of your own way.

- Listen for clues for how someone wants you to respond. When you do this, you can quickly gain the trust of whoever you're talking to.

- Most distractors in conversation are agenda-based distractions or biases.

- Building relationships should be the top priority for leaders.

- Have conversations not to influence via words, knowledge, or persuasion but to gain influence via trust through listening.

QUESTIONS TO INSPIRE US TO ACTION

- What is some lesson, saying, or experience that continues to influence your leadership to this day? The quiet, kind, and grounded leadership example of Eric's Delta Force commander nicknamed Bam Bam

- Use three descriptors to finish this sentence: “A leader is…” Empathetic, innovative, and creative.

- What is a question that leaders should be asking either themselves or others? As yourself why and how things have changed. Look at the core issues to find the basic issues to problems.

- What book would you recommend to leaders? How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

- If you could get every listener to start doing something THIS week to help them be a better leader, what would it be? Listen with empathy without distractions.

- As a general life principle, is it better to ask “why?” or “why not?” Probably "why not?" by a 51/49% split.

Website:

https://ericmaddox.com/

Find Eric Maddox on social media:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/EricBMaddox (@EricBMaddox)

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eric_b_maddox/ (@Eric_B_Maddox)

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EricBMaddox/ (@EricBMaddox)

Josh, Bevelynne, and Elijah discuss https://lifeasleadership.com/019 (Monday's interview with Pat Flynn). Their discussion includes how to incorporate your own personality and quirkiness in your leadership, how to build "superfans" (or their nearest equivalent) as leaders, how to balance your "public" and "private" life, and how to create memorable moments for your followers.

Key Takeaways:

- Create unexpected, meaningful, personal interactions that shock people out of their routine.

- Help people to experience quick wins in your area of influence.

- You don't need large numbers of followers. Focus on creating those people who actually matter in terms of your leadership.

- Be open to feedback and wise counsel.

- Failure is an option, and it is a teacher.

- Just in time learning: Break down tasks into the next step, and focus on that.

- If you want to change your followers' lives, start by changing their day.

- When you get started, don't stop when you get to your first destination! Look for new opportunities to grow and expand your influence.

- If people follow you for being you, they'll stay committed to you for that same reason. So don't sweat the small stuff.

Pat Flynn is a father, husband, and entrepreneur who lives and works in San Diego, CA. He owns several successful online businesses and is a professional blogger, keynote speaker, Wall Street Journal bestselling author, and host of the Smart Passive Income and AskPat podcasts, which have earned a combined total of over 55 million downloads, multiple awards, and features in publications such as The New York Times and Forbes. He is also an advisor to ConvertKit, LeadPages, Teachable, and other companies in the digital marketing arena.

LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

- Lead how you would want to be led and teach how you would want to be taught.

- Take action and learn from that.

- Pick up insight from others as you are taking action.

- Your vibe attracts your tribe.

- Be careful who you work with, because it will reflect on you!

- Give your followers some personal attention - a video, a call, etc.

- Create quick wins for people who are getting to know and follow you.

- Your earnings are a by-product of how well you serve your audience.

- Failure is an option.

- Just in time learning: Only learn what you need to know for your next step. To micro steps that you can immediately apply.

QUESTIONS TO INSPIRE US TO ACTION

- What is some lesson, saying, or experience that continues to influence your leadership to this day? Find more products for your customers, not customers for your products (Seth Godin)

- Use three descriptors to finish this sentence: “A leader is…” Open, someone who knows they don't know everything, and inspirational.

– What is a question that leaders should be asking either themselves or others? Who have you helped today?

– What book would you recommend to leaders? How to Win Friends and Influence People, Dale Carnegie.

– If you could get every listener to start doing something THIS week to help them be a better leader, what would it be? Ask the people who are following you what you could do to become a better leader.

– As a general life principle, is it better to ask “why?” or “why not?” "Why?"

Website:

smartpassiveincome.com

Pre-order special:

yoursuperfans.com

Find Pat Flynn on social media:

Twitter: https://twitter.com/PatFlynn (@PatFlynn)

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patflynn/?hl=en (@PatFlynn)

Josh, Cody, and Jake discuss Monday's interview with Lee Caraher about generational differences and how to lead well in multi-generational contexts. Their discussion includes the number of generations they work with (there are up to five in the workforce now!), how the education system can be deceptive for both employer and employee expectations, and how to deal with that. This episode also includes Jake and Cody singing the Quadratic Formula song (because there apparently is one).

Key Takeaways:

- Be adaptable. Every generation has different perspectives and ways of doing things. Learn to motivate despite these differences.

- Be specific in communication.

- Loyalty is not transactional. It sticks around after whatever formal arrangement there is because of the relationship that exists.

- If you are a good leader, you will build loyalty.

- Lifelong loyalty doesn't have to mean lifelong employment.

- Lifelong loyalty doesn't have to mean your followers will always be your followers.

- Keep your relationship strong with all people (inasmuch as you can) - you never know what might happen in life!

- Help people succeed in their own journey.

- Use specificity when you're communicating with people from other generations.

Lee Caraher is the founder and CEO of Double Forte PR and Digital Marketing. She is a popular guest expert on leadership, intergenerational workplaces, public relations, crisis communications, social media and integrated marketing. Lee is the author of Millennials and Management: The Essential Guide to Making it Work at Work, which is a book based on her experience with first failing and then succeeding at retaining Millennials in her business. Her second book, The Boomerang Principle: Inspiring Lifetime Loyalty from Employees, is a pragmatic and actionable guide to creating high-performing work cultures ready for the future.

LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

- Today, up to five generations may be working together.

- One of the most common misunderstanding that happens among generations relates to the concept of time - specifically deadlines. Drive SPECIFICITY!

- Maintain relationships former employees/members so that they are encouraged to return.

- Train people and help them when they are looking for new opportunities (because they can help you even if they aren't employees).

- If you are leaving an employer, leave well. Give plenty of notice, tie everything up, leave a full exit package of instructions and insights. Then, THANK your employer.

- Careers are self-guided. Help people achieve their own goals, and that will encourage loyalty - even if that loyalty doesn't mean they work for you.

QUESTIONS TO INSPIRE US TO ACTION

- What is some lesson, saying, or experience that continues to influence your leadership to this day? "Tell me more."

- Use three descriptors to finish this sentence: “A leader is…” A great listener, a great cheerleader, and a great delegator

- What is a question that leaders should be asking either themselves or others? "Tell me more."

- What book would you recommend to leaders? Build an A-Team, Whitney Johnson

- If you could get every listener to start doing something THIS week to help them be a better leader, what would it be? Stop talking.

- As a general life principle, is it better to ask “why?” or “why not?” "Why not?"

Website:

https://leecaraher.com/ (https://leecaraher.com/)

Find Lee on social media:

Twitter: @https://twitter.com/LeeCaraher (leecaraher)

Instagram: @https://www.instagram.com/leecaraher/ (leecarahe)

Josh, Anna-Maria, and Michelle discuss this week's interview with Cynthia Plouché. Extending beyond the topic of board leadership, they whether or not they would be good board members, how to lead well even if you're not a "people person," the importance of building relationships before a group starts working together, the role of sponsors in comparison to mentors, and the important of adversity as a way to help you succeed.

Key Takeaways:

- Three important traits for leaders: inclusivity, directness, and approachability.

- Create trust among members of your team.

- Nobody gets to leadership by flying solo, so get along with your team and co-workers!

- For leaders: Stand up when others are unwilling to do so.

- For leaders of leaders: make sure every voice is heard.

- People want to see their better selves in their leaders,. Be that person!

Cynthia Plouché has been an Independent Board Director for more than fifteen years and has more than twenty-five years of experience as a Senior Investment Portfolio Manager. Her areas of expertise include risk management, finance, and governance. She has a Wharton MBA and a Harvard University undergraduate degree and currently serves as the Governance Committee Chair for the Northern Funds and Northern Institutional Funds in Chicago and has board oversight for portfolio assets that exceed $140 billion.

LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

- Take risks, but make sure they're measured

- No one gets to a leadership role by flying solo

- Be able to see multiple sides of an issue

- Share your opinions but have a level voice

- If you have adversity in your life, own it

QUESTIONS TO INSPIRE US TO ACTION

- What is some lesson, saying, or experience that continues to influence your leadership to this day? For organizational leadership: Join, learn, lead.

- Use three descriptors to finish this sentence: “A leader is…” Inclusive, approachable, and decisive.

- What is a question that leaders should be asking either themselves or others? What do I want my legacy to be?

- What book would you recommend to leaders? My American Journey, Colin Powell

- If you could get every listener to start doing something THIS week to help them be a better leader, what would it be? Do something outside of your comfort zone - preferably not in isolation.

- As a general life principle, is it better to ask “why?” or “why not?” "Why not?"

Josh, Molly, and Zeke discussion Monday's interview with Ari Satok. The discussion includes example of when life unfolded unexpectedly for the positive, how to take better advantage of the wisdom around us, why and how to get to know people who are different than you, how approach life with constant curiosity, and a good approach to balance building skills in specific areas while also trying new things in college.

Josh also shares an approach of how to turn a disagreement into a beneficial discussion (11:08).

Key Takeaways:

- Don't be afraid of seeking wisdom from others.

- Be persistent.

- "Embrace the stormy waters you now travel. In calmness very few adventures start."

- "So many things are possible just so long as you don't know they're impossible" - Norton Juster

- Be open to unexpected developments and unexpected open doors. Don't be afraid to step into these!

- Have relentless curiosity with people's stories and the possibilities of life.

Bio: Ari Satok is an author, poet, and storyteller. Just five years out of college, he’s already written two books. Ari shares about these books and the travels and experiences that served as inspiration for them. His most recent book of poems entitled The Beautiful Chaos of Growing Up weaves together humor and insight about college and life after college. He is also the author of The Architects of Hope: Sixteen People Dreaming of a Better Tomorrow, a book that captures the stories of young people from all around the world, whom he interviewed during a yearlong storytelling journey he led traveling to international schools on four different continents.

Check out Ari's books on https://www.amazon.com/s?i=stripbooksandrh=p_27%3AAri+Satokands=relevancerankandtext=Ari+Satokandref=dp_byline_sr_book_1 (Amazon).

LEADERSHIP INSIGHTS

- Be open to taking advantage of opportunities that "don't go like they were supposed to."

- We're surrounded by people with wisdom, insight, and experience. Take advantage of this!

- It is important to listen and be listened to.

- Community never stops - you always need community in your life to nurture you.

- Good projects take a lot of time. Be persistent and be patient!

- Stories break down prejudices

- Don't be afraid of rejection or judgement. Be courageous!

- Get involved with things that you love and that you are passionate about.

- Do your work with kindness and compassion.

ABOUT Ari's Books

- The Beautiful Chaos of Growing Up was written as a way to explore the experiences that Ari was having right after graduating from college.

- The Architects of Hope arose from a traveling research project to international schools. He returned to the places he visited the following year in order to tell students' stories.

QUESTIONS TO INSPIRE US TO ACTION

- What is some lesson, saying, or experience that continues to influence your leadership to this day? "Nothing will work unless you do" - Maya Angelous and "So many things are possible just as long as you don't know they're impossible." - Norton Juster

- Use three descriptors to finish this sentence: “A [GOOD] leader is…” Someone who brings out the best in others, is a good listener, and is courageous.

- What is a question that leaders should be asking either themselves or others? What are the ways that I am holding myself back from my full potential? What are the ways you are holding yourself back from your full potential?

- What book would you recommend to leaders? Shakespeare and Company, Paris: A History of Rag and Bone Shop of the Heart - Krista Halverson (Editor)

- If you could get every listener to start doing something THIS week to help them be a better leader, what would it be? Go out and do something that scares you or makes you feel uncomfortable. AND practice deeply listening to the people in your life.

- As a general life principle, is it better to ask “why?” or “why not?” "Why not?" This is helpful for entrepreneurs. There is often not a compelling reason not to attempt to turn your dream into reality.

Websites:

https://www.arisatok.com/ (AriSatok.com )

https://www.thehundreddollarproject.org/ (Thehundreddollarproject.org)

Find Ari Satok on social media:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/arisatokpoetry/ (@AriSatokPoetry)

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ari_satok/ (@Ari_Satok)