Life Letters™

Maybe it's about something that happened. Maybe it's about something that didn't. In today's episode, Emma reminds us that happiness is really just about letting go of what is heavy. 

If you could talk to you, this is what it would sound like. In under five-minute clips, the Life Letters™ explores the topics of growth, change, self-love, relationships, and happiness. Hosted by author Emma Grace of Instagram’s hugely popular 'Live in the Details,' the Life Letters™ will hand you a daily dose of the words you never knew you always needed to hear.

Podcast Transcript: I see you. I do. And you're probably walking or driving in your car, or just sitting there with headphones in. And you're thinking, aren't you? Thinking about all of those things that have happened to you. Today. This year. In the past few years. Hell, maybe throughout your whole entire life. And as you think, you are probably wondering— maybe worrying— about how all those things affect other things. Important things. Down the road. I get it. But what really sinks into your heart are all those things that— didn’t— happen, right? The things that didn’t happen the way you wanted them to, or with the person you wanted them to— or on the timeline you wanted them to. The things that haven’t happened— those are the really hard parts. Because—  those are the things that give us the constant wondering. The constant overthinking. The constant— worry. That you are behind. That life is not going to work out for you. That you don’t have a purpose. That you can’t heal, or grow, or change, from all those things that you went through. Or didn’t. And that is what I want to talk about. Those thoughts. Those worries. Because while what happened to you certainly shapes the eyes that you look at this world through— what happens does not change the footsteps that walk you forward. Who you’ve been never determines who you will be. What you’ve had, or haven’t had, does not determine what you will have. What you can get. And so the best advice I can give you is to let go of what happened to you before this. Notice I didn’t say forget. I didn’t say not to keep it a part of you. I just said let go. Stop carrying it with you, in your hands, where it is affecting the things you can hold in this life. The trick to happiness is just in finding ways to make what you carry lighter. And the best way to do that is to set down the things that are so heavy. The things you carry in your heart and call anxiety. Regret. And it’s ok. It’s ok to be confused and have no idea how this life is going to work out for you. It will work out for you. But for now, just do your best to let go of what happened. And start making peace with what has not.

Maybe this is just a chapter that another one will answer. In today's episode, Emma reminds us that some chapters of our lives give us questions that other chapters will answer.

If you could talk to you, this is what it would sound like. In under five-minute clips, the Life Letters™ explores the topics of growth, change, self-love, relationships, and happiness. Hosted by author Emma Grace of Instagram’s hugely popular 'Live in the Details,' the Life Letters™ will hand you a daily dose of the words you never knew you always needed to hear.

Podcast Transcript: So maybe right now your journey isn’t about answers. That’s ok. Not all chapters can answer questions— and some of them are there only to create questions that other chapters will answer. Oh, I know that is hard to accept. Having whole portions of our lives that end in the middle of sentences isn’t something most of us can get used to. Let alone enjoy. But that doesn’t make those chapters any less important. Any less necessary. The hard times— in whatever form they come— are the most important building blocks we have. None of us want them. None of us are ready for them when they blind-side us. But no matter where or how they find us, the hard times push us towards things— and pull us away from things— that we do or don’t need in our lives. And the tragic beauty in that is we keep hanging on to what we knew when this life is doing everything it can to do to push us towards something better. And we all want better— we want it and yet because we are so near-sighted, we reject the first pieces of a new life because it comes disguised as an ending. And endings are hard. And we don’t know— we can’t fathom— how endings fit into a picture we haven’t seen yet. And that is where faith comes in. So here’s something to consider, love. What if— even more than just question chapters and answer chapters, we also get piece chapters? The chapters where we are being handed the building blocks that will later build us the life we’ve always longed for. Waited for. Worked for. Would that change how you saw things? Would it change how much patience you've had through these times when nothing makes sense? I’d like to think that it would. And so maybe that’s what it’s really all about. The growth that comes from those times it feels like everything is falling apart. Because there will be peace. Maybe not in this chapter—but it’s there. So the trick is, you keep writing your story until you find it. Or until it finds you. Whichever comes first.

Being along is not the same as being lonely. In today's episode, Emma gets us thinking about how we look at loneliness. And why it is, actually, something to use. Not to fear. 

If you could talk to you, this is what it would sound like. In under five-minute clips, the Life Letters™ explores the topics of growth, change, self-love, relationships, and happiness. Hosted by author Emma Grace of Instagram’s hugely popular 'Live in the Details,' the Life Letters™ will hand you a daily dose of the words you never knew you always needed to hear.

Podcast Transcript: Feeling lonely is something that plagues our world in absolute silence. And it’s everywhere. We sit behind this interconnected web of phones and tablets and apps and computers— and we feel disconnected. We feel alone. Misunderstood. And that’s where it finds us, isn't it— the loneliness. It settles in for a season and convinces us, somehow, that it plans to stay forever. Look— loneliness is not something to fear. Loneliness is just that place after something has ended and before something else has begun. It’s a space of healing. Growing. Becoming. And maybe if you looked at it like that— it wouldn’t be something you carried with you like some terrible secret. It’s not. Time will help you through this one, too. I promise it will. Just like everything else— you will make it. You will make it. When you feel it around you— pushing you down— I want you to do what it absolutely hates. Give it noise. Life. Chaos. Loneliness thrives on silence— and that is where it wants to keep you when it’s there. So get up, put on a brave face, and walk out into the world. Even when you feel like every step hurts. Even when nothing makes sense. Even when you aren’t ready. You keep moving. You keep moving forward. And that’s the trick to beating it. You keep moving— keep living— but you never run from it. Running from loneliness just makes it stay with you longer. The trick is— you let loneliness catch you. You let in it. And then let it go.

This is a little reminder about love. In today's episode, Emma talks us through some of those simple love truths we all know. But tend to forget. 

If you could talk to you, this is what it would sound like. In under five-minute clips, the Life Letters™ explores the topics of growth, change, self-love, relationships, and happiness. Hosted by author Emma Grace of Instagram’s hugely popular 'Live in the Details,' the Life Letters™ will hand you a daily dose of the words you never knew you always needed to hear.

Podcast Transcript: Oh, trust me. I know it’s hard. We don’t get any real assurances in this life— and we’re lucky if we ever even know we’re headed in the right direction. Let alone GET the directions. It’s a whole bunch of “trust me” and “learn as you go.” I know. But this one? This one is a little less complicated. So I’m just going to say it. If someone needs space— give it to them. If someone ghosts you— don’t look back. If someone doesn’t know how they feel— then I'm sorry, but for now, the answer is no. Someone who doesn’t answer your calls or call you back is telling you one thing. You can sugar-coat it all you want— you can make excuses all you want— but love, you are not their priority. If you’ve been dating for awhile and you’ve never met their friends— or their family— or been to their place? One of two things is true. Either, they’re not telling you something— or you’re not their one. I get that it’s hard to face rejection. It is totally awful. We all think we should be immune to it. We all think it’s never going to happen to us. We all personalize it— thinking it’s something we did or didn’t do. It’s not. Rejection is a normal part of trying out two puzzle pieces to see if they fit. Most of the time, the answer is going to be no. And that’s ok. What you need to focus on in this life is being true to yourself. And that is all. And you do that even if it means you have to wait a little longer than you ever thought you’d have to. To get what you want. Oh, and one more thing. If you want what stays— then you have GOT to stop chasing what runs. 

Do you always think that "one day" you'll find the one? Or "one day" you will have what you're looking for? In today's episode, Emma gets us thinking about how we progress and perspective really work. 

If you could talk to you, this is what it would sound like. In under five-minute clips, the Life Letters™ explores the topics of growth, change, self-love, relationships, and happiness. Hosted by author Emma Grace of Instagram’s hugely popular 'Live in the Details,' the Life Letters™ will hand you a daily dose of the words you never knew you always needed to hear.

Podcast Transcript: It took me a long time to understand that magic lines don’t really exist the way we think they do. All of us draw them. We think— when *this* finally happens or *that* finally falls into place— that we’ll be happy. Financially secure. In shape. So many things. And we do it with trivial things and huge, life-altering things. We buy clothes we don’t need and imagine some crazy scenario down the road we’ll need them. We imagine our perfect little lives when we have a family. When we meet the one. When we have enough money to buy all of what we need and maybe most of what we want. I mean, we literally think we are going to cross some imaginary magic lines in time and enter this brand new world of “everything is good now.” We plan for overnight successes and definitely not the inches of progress and change that this life really gives us. We think— when only we’re 18, life will be so much better because... and then we insert all of those reasons. When we get to 18, we just want to be 21, because that’s even better than 18. At 21, we want be 25. At 25 we want to be 30. And it just keeps going. On and on and on... until one day, we run out of time and realize all we’ve ever done is wished we were somewhere else. If I could go back to the beginning, when I was learning how life worked, I would want someone to tell me what I am going to tell you. You ready? You NEVER get to a place where you know everything you want to know. Where you have all the answers you want. You get it? You can apply that to whatever you want. Your relationship. Your job. Your lost love. Your family. People. Experiences. The past. Whatever you'd like. And because you will never get to that place where you know it all— you have GOT to teach yourself what it means to be comfortable with not knowing. Because that is where peace really comes from, love. Not yoga. Not meditation. Not mindfulness. Not a bunch of apps that claim to have the secret. Sure, those things might help— but that’s not where peace lives. Those are just ways to quiet the noise enough to know that you weren't listening. To your own heart. The same one telling you it will always walk beside you— even if neither of you know exactly how to get there.

How do you measure success? In today's episode, Emma gets us thinking about the timelines the world sets for us. And the pressure that comes with them. 

If you could talk to you, this is what it would sound like. In under five-minute clips, the Life Letters™ explores the topics of growth, change, self-love, relationships, and happiness. Hosted by author Emma Grace of Instagram’s hugely popular 'Live in the Details,' the Life Letters™ will hand you a daily dose of the words you never knew you always needed to hear.

Podcast Transcript: The world has all kinds of timelines for us. By 18, we should know what we want to do with our lives. By 22, we should be well on our way to getting it. By 27, we should have found the one. By 30, we should have 1.5 kids and Sunday morning pancakes. By 40, we should be figuring out how to balance family and career and the Pinterest-parenting lifestyle this world seems to expect from us. By 50, we should thinking about what we want to do in retirement. By 65, we should be doing it. But— what if we don’t follow those timelines? What if we figure out WHEN we’re 50 what we really want to do with our lives? What if, by 22, we have never gone to college and frankly, still don’t want to? What if at 40 we want to START thinking about babies and love stories? What if we choose to work until we’re 70? The world may shout that you're so behind and so late— that if you don’t catch up you might not get the chance. That’s what it does. Loudly. It likes to fit things into neat little boxes and perfect timelines. But that’s just not who we are, is it? It's not who people are. Especially now. Most people, they want both careers and love stories— and they don’t want to have to choose. They want creative lives over stuffy, consistent 9-to-5s. They want to travel and experience and drink in the air of something new— rather than settle down forever in one place and never know the difference. Look, if you’re feeling the pressure to keep up, it probably means you’re on your own road. Stay there. Go at your own pace. Figure out what works for YOU. The worst thing we can ever do to measure success in this life is draw a line in time and say— “I should be here by now.”

Are you trying too hard to control how you feel? Don't. Instead, spend your time controlling what you do with what you feel. In today's episode, Emma gets us thinking about how we react to our emotions. 

If you could talk to you, this is what it would sound like. In under five-minute clips, the Life Letters™ explores the topics of growth, change, self-love, relationships, and happiness. Hosted by author Emma Grace of Instagram’s hugely popular 'Live in the Details,' the Life Letters™ will hand you a daily dose of the words you never knew you always needed to hear.

Podcast Transcript: You cannot control how you feel. But you can control what you do. This lesson is THE HARDEST THING we ever learn. Truly. And the reason is quite simple, really. It’s because how we feel is at the absolute core of almost everything that we do. It influences every single decision we make. In every way. At every time. It is the “gut feeling” that infiltrates our facts and our truths and our rational thought. It’s us— our inner monologue. The angel (or devil) that is forever on our shoulders. So, no— we can never control how we feel. And whether that feeling manifests as anger or frustration or fear or anxiety. Whether it shows up as sadness or longing or love or passion. We aren’t designed to feel a certain way. We just— do. We are. But I’ll tell you, love— in as “out of control” as we are over our emotions at times— we are ALWAYS responsible for what we do with them. Always. When they leave our hearts or heads or the deepest pits of our stomach— is is OUR JOB to make sure they don’t hurt someone else. And you can rationalize that all you want. You can make excuses for why some things just are the way they are. But— you’re not being fair. To other people. And you know that. You KNOW that. So take responsibility, love. Not for what you feel— but for what you ultimately do with what you feel. 

Does it feel like you're always getting left behind by the people you love? In today's episode, Emma gets us thinking about how we approach love. And letting go. And growth.

If you could talk to you, this is what it would sound like. In under five-minute clips, the Life Letters™ explores the topics of growth, change, self-love, relationships, and happiness. Hosted by author Emma Grace of Instagram’s hugely popular 'Live in the Details,' the Life Letters™ will hand you a daily dose of the words you never knew you always needed to hear.

Podcast Transcript: Ok, so you’re alone again. And in the quiet, you look around you and start letting your mind do what it does. Say what it says. You let it— start to make up those stories. And as it writes them, you listen. To the ones that convince you there is something wrong with who you are. And that you’re not good at this. And that ‘this’ is what you’re ultimately destined for— to be alone. And as it tells you those stories, you look back and find all those people who have left you. And you fit those things in as evidence into the story you’ve just been told. And then, in one of the most damaging things you will ever do to yourself, you actually start to believe it. You start to believe that you are the one that always gets left. That messes things up. That says too much— or not enough. That is to quiet or too loud— too stressed or too spontaneous. The one who is not pretty enough or thin enough or enough enough. You let all those people who walked away become the ones who get to tell your story. And in doing that, you give them the power to have your future and your past. But— isn’t it possible you’ve actually been thinking about this entirely wrong? There are always other ways to tell this story. And if you tell it as “I’m the one who always gets left,” then you are letting yourself be a victim. And worse, you’re letting yourself be a victim that is also shouldering all the blame. Stop that. TELL. ANOTHER. STORY. Here’s a start for you: “I am NOT the one who always gets left. I am just the one who knows how to stay. And then one day, someone amazing is going to love that about me. Until then, everything else is just practice for the real thing."

Are you looking for someone to make it all make sense? In today's episode, Emma reminds us that love is not what is going to fix us. And then, gently walks us through what will. 

If you could talk to you, this is what it would sound like. In under five-minute clips, the Life Letters™ explores the topics of growth, change, self-love, relationships, and happiness. Hosted by author Emma Grace of Instagram’s hugely popular 'Live in the Details,' the Life Letters™ will hand you a daily dose of the words you never knew you always needed to hear.

Podcast Transcript: When you find them, everything is going to finally make sense. I know. You’re going to have your— one. The person that will hold your hand and gently tuck your hair behind your ear. You will have that person to make Sunday morning pancakes with and plan holidays with and build a life with. You will have the person who will hold you and listen to you and want you. And then— because you do— life will finally be... better. Right? We have been told since our eyes could first see— just how powerful those love stories could be. We have been shaped by tales of one person saving the other— swooping in and filling in all those spaces they just couldn’t fill themselves. And maybe that is where we get it wrong. Where we— got— it wrong. Because we all go out there and look for someone to save us— but somehow never stumble upon a mirror to stare back into our very own eyes. And I get that we all want love. It’s the most essential and most desired glue there is in this life. But it is also not the answer. It’s not. Love is not going to save you. It’s not going to make those things you’ve been carrying lighter. It’s not going to fix your childhood or calm your demons or cure your emptiness. Love is— well, it’s just a bucket. With a big handle. And the reason that your life seems better when you have someone in it is because they are helping you carry whatever you have put inside. And maybe they have a choice— because you were transparent about what you were carrying. Or maybe they don’t— because you weren’t. But either way, one thing is very true. They will get tired, too, if what you’re carrying is too heavy. Does that make sense yet? So the real secret of making love last is in making love— lighter. And that is your job. Not theirs. So take all of those things in your bucket and decide which of them you really want to carry with you. And perhaps most importantly— which things you want to ask someone else to help you carry through this life. But keep in mind that they bring their own things, too. So just—leave some room in your bucket for them. And do it by being someone who has learned to make your own self happy. Because THAT is what will make them happy.

Are you outgrowing your life right now? In today's episode, Emma gets us thinking about change. And how to deal with the people who try to hold us back. 

If you could talk to you, this is what it would sound like. In under five-minute clips, the Life Letters™ explores the topics of growth, change, self-love, relationships, and happiness. Hosted by author Emma Grace of Instagram’s hugely popular 'Live in the Details,' the Life Letters™ will hand you a daily dose of the words you never knew you always needed to hear.

Podcast Transcript: So, here’s the thing about change— you have to actually MEAN it. Sure, it’s all well and good to swear up one side and down the other that you are going to be different. That THINGS are going to be different. But that just gets you to the starting line. You can be committed— you can want it like crazy— but that will never be enough to produce a result. It just won’t. Change comes from work. Hard work. YOUR work. And I swear to you— it is always going to be hard. It is always going to hurt. It is always going to feel wrong. And you are ALWAYS going to question whether what you are doing is taking you in the right direction. Often that’s because of the push-back you’ll get from the people who are watching your transformation— but don’t understand it yet. It will come from the people you’re outgrowing or pulling away from or discovering you don’t need anymore. And those people are going to be your anchors. They are going to try to hold you in a life you don’t fit in anymore and it is always YOUR JOB to see that. And stop it. When it gets hard (and it will) I need you to KNOW that just means you need to work harder. If it’s a boundary, you have to hold it. If it’s a promise, you have to keep it. If it’s a habit you’re trying to make— you have to EMBRACE the pain of the early mornings and late nights and tiredness and discomfort. And love? If it’s a habit you are trying to kick— then you have got to understand it’s going to come with some “one step forward, two step back” kind of days. And that is NORMAL. All of it. Change is the ONLY thing you’re responsible for in this life. Stop thinking that just because you were something or wanted something that you have to be that or want that forever. When you start feeling that urge to change— just let it carry you. Let it carry you past the people and things that are going to try to stand in your way. Past the non-believers and the negativity and the “you’re not the same anymore.” And as things are coming together for you, just do me one favor. Hell, do yourself one favor. NEVER go back. Never feel the chaos and uncertainty and confusion and decide its easier to just stay where you are. Things will never change for you if you keep letting yourself be the one standing in your own way.