Life With Herpes

Your dating life is not over now that you have herpes. Promise!!! Having herpes or not rejection happens and that's okay and it's part of life. I disclosed to guys that I was interested in and got rejected, I also disclosed as way to get out of having sex and that totally backfired and then I've disclosed and it's been no problem.

I was diagnosed with herpes in 2011. That doesn't sound like it was too long ago and that we haven't had to many changes but really, when you think about it we've had a ton of technological changes. Let me take you back to 2011. There was google, but it wasn't what it is today. There was Facebook and Instagram, but neither had the impact that they have today. So what I'm trying to say is that there wasn't the information out there that there is now. When I googled herpes, or who had herpes back in 2011, the only information that came up was something very sterile from either WebMD or Planned Parenthood that just gave the facts about herpes but didn't help with the stigma. I think I logged off feeling worse about myself than when the doctor told me about my diagnosis.

Now that we have herpes we want to know what the chances are that we're going to transmit herpes to our partner. I get asked this daily on my lives and in the comments. There is the preconceived thought that if you have herpes you're contagious all the time and you'll have outbreaks all the time and that your entire body is contagious. I can happily tell you that that is not true.

With herpes being so common it's actually rare to find someone without it. I hear time and time again from people who are just diagnosed with herpes, or if they haven't processed their herpes diagnosis, say that their partner should go find someone without herpes. Or when a rejection happens the person is thinking that it's going to be way easier to find someone else without herpes.

It's totally possible and your dating life can be totally normal. In general we put so much on our plate to date. Things like: he has to be the one, or I'm so tired of dating immature people, are there any good ones left out there, ugh, here we go again and so on. We females put pressure on ourselves to find a good one and settle down, it's what society expects from us. Regardless there is pressure from all angles to date and find someone.

Let me tell you a bit about my pregnancy. I went through IVF to have Clinton and I never had an outbreak during any of the hormonal treatments and IVF treatments to get pregnant. Then fast forward I don't believe I had outbreaks in my first trimester but then in my second trimester, I started having few and then in my last trimester I had them back to back.

This topic brings up so many emotions. If you just slept with someone and they then later told you that they have herpes, I'm sure you are angry and confused. And if you have herpes and just slept with someone and didn't tell them, I bet you have a lump in you stomach.

There are times that I have had an outbreak and my husband and I have wanted to have sex. Whether it's been when we are on vacation, or just because. With that being said, we've gotten creative and still had a great time getting between the sheets.

If you've just gotten herpes and you are in a ton of pain physically and emotionally, I know what you are going through.

Sometimes when I look back I think it's the physical pain that is the most. And then there are other times I think, no, it's the emotional pain. Regardless they are both there and you are probably feeling something that you have never felt before.

First of all, I want you to take a deep breath and know that everything is going to be okay. I know it doesn't feel that way but you will get through this. Remember, every storm runs out of rain.

I've been getting lots of questions like; will sweat cause an outbreak, will friction cause an outbreak, will HITT cause me to get an outbreak, professional bodybuilders have asked questions about pre workout and so on.