Lightbulb Moment
With the world opening up after the COVID-19 pandemic, it seems that life is transitioning to the new normal faster than ever.
* Employees are returning to the office (hello hybrid working)
* Holidays are being taken (yipee, beach time anyone?)
* Birthdays are being celebrated in person (thank goodness for that)
Whilst this is great, it seems like time is flying by quicker than ever (or at least that’s how it feels).
And here in lies the problem.
When the pandemic struck, everything stopped.
Quite literally.
Life, pretty much, changed over night.
No longer could we meet friends for dinner. No longer could we commute into the office. No longer did we have demands on our time.
It was the equivalent of a juggernaut speeding along the motorway coming to an abrupt sudden stop. There was proverbial debris everywhere.
With the result being we had lots more time on our hands.
Some were fortunate and able to work from home, whilst others we put on furlough. Some lost jobs and income, whilst others sat at home and continued earning.
It was a tough period for everyone.
The by-product of this turbulent period was that we all had more time on our hands.
All the plans we had were shelved replaced by Zoom calls, movie nights in and the dreaming of when we can have our freedom back.
Almost without exception, any question asked was greeted with the answer no.
We got used to it pretty quickly.
Our home became our fortress & time became our friend. We ultimately had lots of it.
Decision making was easy.
But as the world began to open again, so did the need to make decisions.
Can we meet for drinks? Can you help with this project? Can you assist an elderly relative?
We were fast heading into a world of polar opposites.
No was being replaced by yes.
And we all loved it too.
Being able to see people IRL (as my nephew told me the other day - stands for In Real Life if you’re not down with the kids) was a relief and a luxury.
But we also fell back into old habits and in turn became lazy.
We stopped looking out for ourselves.
Instead we were quickly filling our days with appointments, tasks and activities.
The almost endless amount of time we had in lockdown had been replaced by chocker block diaries and endlessly being pulled from pillar to post.
It’s as if we haven’t remembered the lessons we learned.
And this is the issue.
Be A Commitment Phobe
It might seem pretty innocuous but every commitment made (no matter how big or small) is ultimately destroying our goals.
We need to think carefully before making commitments.
Don’t be impulsive.
These commitments are a request on your time and energy, so we should respond slowly.
This is easier said than done, granted, but when being pressured to make a quick decision, no should be your default answer.
It’s only after we’ve had the time to take stock, consider the opportunity and fully analyse the situation, that you can come to a wise decision.
Woah woah woah.
I’m sorry what??
Let’s take a step back for a moment.
What you’re saying is that we should default to declining invitations when asked? But doesn’t this go against the grain of what we are taught?
Well, the short answer is yes.
But it’s not the moral or ethical view that’s driving this, but rather the rarity of the resource you need to manage.
You see it’s down to time.
Your time is precious.
In fact it’s the most precious resource we have.
It is the only thing that you truly own.
So why do we continue to waste time on things that don’t serve our purpose, goal or objectives?
The answer is because it’s easy to do so.
* We like to be busy.
* We like to be in demand.
* We don’t like to miss out.
Now don’t get me wrong, we all do it.
It happened to me last week when I received a phone call from a good friend asking if I would like to be involved in a startup.
As we chatted away, it quickly became apparent this would be an interesting endeavour. The idea was being refined, a team was being pulled together and a plan was being formed.
We talked through options and I provided some initial feedback based on what I had heard.
In the blink of an eye, an hour had passed.
I love having conversations where it’s effortless and engaging, and this was one of those times.
I wouldn’t be speaking out of turn to say that my skillset would be really helpful to the group.
And my interest had been peaked by the concept.
So when the question was raised as to whether I would like to be involved, it was almost an involuntary & subconscious reaction that I said yes.
As I reflected on the conversation later that evening, I began to question my haste in replying.
Did I really have time to support the project? Would this project helping move me towards my goals?
If I’m being honest the answer was no.
And I was struggling with creating sufficient time for my endeavours outside of work as it was, so how would I cope with yet another activity?
My problem is love ideas.
I love talking them through & I love trying to solve problems.
The idea that one of these ideas could be a success and take off is hugely exciting.
But the downside to this is I also have shiny new object syndrome - meaning I get easily distracted by the next new cool thing.
This was one of those moments.
I was already trying to balance growing a YouTube channel, establish this newsletter and dedicate time to my product idea, so where would this fit in?
That’s when I knew.
I knew it just wasn’t going to work.
And I had to say no.
This was going to be hard as I knew there would be merit in the idea but it also didn’t align with my goals.
That’s why if you are unsure about whether to pursue an idea, ask yourself this simple question:
“How do I feel about this opportunity / idea?”
If you are not hugely excited and can’t wait to pursue it, to the detriment of other things, then you should not answer in the affirmative.
A better way to put it is in the words of Derek Sivers:
“If it’s not a HELL YES, then it’s a no.”
(Tweet This)
The reason this is so powerful is that there is no maybe.
Sitting on the fence is not an option.
You either do, or you do not - there is no middle ground.
It was during this internal dilemma I realised that I needed to create a “not-to-do” list.
A list of items I knew I needed to avoid so not to distract away from my goals.
Put simply, for every item that hits my to-do list (and supports my goals) there will likely be 3 or 4 items placed on the not-to-do list.
These are the opportunities which need to be declined.
I know it will be painful but it does need to happen.
I would rather focus on a few things and nail them than try to do too much and achieve nothing.
I know it will be hard.
Final Thought
The point is to say no to the non-essential things which detract from our goals so we can say yes to the things that really matter.
Without realising it, I had adopted the way of ‘Essentialism’.
Non-essentialists say ‘yes’ automatically without thinking, often in pursuit of the rush one gets from having pleased someone.
But it won’t be long before the pangs of guilt or regret hit.
This is when there is a realisation that something more important must be sacrificed to accommodate this new commitment.
But that is the point.
It is not to say no to all the requests; just the ones which don’t move you towards your goals.
Or more harshly put, the ones that simply don’t matter.
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