Like a Mother

I love me some Lauren Greutman! This Syracuse, New York married mom of four was living the American dream ... 3,500 square-foot custom house, two luxury cars parked in the driveway, new furniture, dinners out ... and $40,000 in credit card debt.

Fast forward through slinging steaks at a local restaurant, selling off everything she and her husband owned, clipping coupons and budgeting like a mo-fo and relocating to a tiny condo in a community where she was shunned by moms who lived in big, newly furnished custom homes. All along this family has chronicled their journey out of debt, thanks to her platform for helping families live a fantastic life within their means — most famously for her slow-cooker Aldi meal plans (20 meals for $150 = mind blown).

What I love so much about Lauren, is that she is so freaking honest and real. Also, that she has parlayed her passion and authenticity into an incredible, profitable online business, and media appearances on TODAY, Fox & Friends, Rachel Ray Show, Steve Harvey ... you name it.

Full episode transcript: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/likeamother-lauren-greutman-iamthatlady-spending-addiction/

The awesome Jenny Hoff at CreditCards.com interviewed me for her latest ChargedUp podcast episode. This is a great conversation about my own story of overcoming my fears, hang-ups and neuroses when it comes to single motherhood and money. It is also about overcoming your own barriers that keep you stuck financially, emotionally, and professionally.

Full episode transcript here: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/thriving-single-mom-income/

Being kickass, and being an activist, can come in many forms — often quieter and more private. That is what drew me to Teri Teves, a Portland, Ore., single mom of one, who switched careers from advertising to cosmetology, specifically lash extensions. Her new career gave Teri the time flexibility and high income that she craved.

But making women feel comfortable, cared for, listened to, and beautiful is how Teri found she had the greatest professional contribution. 

Listen in this episode about how Teri built her business, how her tribe of women has supported her and her family, and how she gives back by supporting other women through her small business.

Full transcript of this episode available here: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/kickass-grant-winner-caring-women-growing-beauty-business/

The holidays are so hard for divorced and separated families. They just are. Especially if you are new to sharing the kids on the holidays. You are grieving what you thought your family would look like. What you hoped and expected your family would look like. And so much of that image is wrapped up in special occasions like holidays — holidays informed by magazines, movies, Hallmark and William Sonoma ads — not to mention social media and your own memories from your childhood (whether you hoped to replicate good times, or deviate from bad ones). Now your family looks different and it sucks. No matter how you dice it, it is ugly.

If you're negotiating holiday schedules for this season, or are in custody negotiations,  here is my one piece of advice for you this year, and years going forward... give him the holidays. Why? I'll tell you in this episode of Like a Mother.

Full episode transcript: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/holiday-visitation-schedule-for-divorced-parents/

First of all, how random that my colleague Erin Lowry, leading expert on Millennials and their money and author of the book Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together, and fellow money blogger, lives across the street from me in Astoria, Queens?! When we're not hanging out, I sometimes bump into her on the street as she's walking her dog, or going to dinner with her nice boyfriend. Also, totally random, this year both of us have books out with the same Penguin Random House imprint, TarcherPerigee. Also, less random (see what I did there??), we both supported Hillary, and are resistance activists, and co-hosted a post-card writing party in the hood.

In this episode, Erin and I talk about what she knows best —

How Millennials can thrive financially.

This includes:

• Get out of debt
• Have an awesome career and financial future
• Navigate tricky social pickles, like talking about money with your boyfriend or girlfriend, splitting the bill (or not!) with your friends
• Unless you have a free ride or parents with deep pockets, don't finance a fancy college degree if it means years of debt.
• How to network like a mo-fo
• The critical reason everyone needs a "fuck off fund" (the reasons are more serious than you think)

Full transcript of the episode here: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/broke-millennial-financial/

Bonus episode! Brought to you by Capital One GM BuyPower Card®.

For many families, money is a negative force, a source of fear and stress that permeates all parts of your life. Worried about paying your bills? That stress affects your physical and mental health and makes you more prone to get angry at your kids, create conflict in your romantic relationship and lead to career and business decisions made out of fear — not confidence.

In this episode I interview Craig Glee, Partner Lead, US Credit Card Partnerships, Capital One, about:

• Financial stress is real and powerful — how does it affect parents and families? Why is it so important?
• What are the first steps to financial wellness and self-care?
• How do you find the support you need to be financially healthy?
• Greg's top 3 tips for financial self-care.

While the numbers are not confirmed, experts agree that divorce rates among parents with special needs children is far higher than the general population. And since single moms of special needs kids have challenges and joys that other moms  — single or otherwise  — do not.

Kim Thompson, a single mom of two boys, ages 7 and 13, ages who lives in New York City, has struggled with her son's autism (and other diagnoses) first as a married mother, and now as a single, divorced mom. Because of her younger son's special needs, she has put her career on hold and cares for him full-time at home.

Check out Kim's site: DearAutismMom.com

Related episode:  Amy Silverman on raising a child with Down syndrome

• The #1 challenge single moms of special needs children face.
• What dating is like as a mother of a disabled child. "I want to feel like the amazing woman I am again!" Kim told me.
• How to be a supportive friend of a mom struggling with a special needs kid.
• What it feels like when friends fade away because of your family.
• Why 'Just hire childcare' is the wrong thing to say.
• The thing that makes a single mom of special needs kid feel most cared for.
• The financial realities of the situation — including insurance.
• How her son's disability contributed to her divorce.
• YOU think you don't get a break?!
• Kim's top advice for single moms with special needs children.
• How much Kim loves and DELIGHTS in her special needs kid.

Beth Kobliner is a celebrity in my nerd world: One of the first journalists covering personal finances for the masses for 30 years, Kobliner wrote the New York Times bestseller, Get a Financial Life: Personal Finance In Your Twenties and Thirties that changed the way that we think and deal with our finances. In 2014, she was appointed by President Obama to the President's Advisory Council on Financial Capability for Young Americans.

Fast forward to today, and Kobliner's Make Your Kid a Money Genius (Even If You're Not), is out on Amazon and in your local bookstore. This is not a boring book. Reading like a quippy magazine, yet loaded with deep research and illustrated with relevant stories from Kobliner's life, as well as others, there really is nothing else as comprehensive out there.

• Why the 'genius' title is not a sales gimmick — master a few basic money habits and skills and you will beat out the vast majority of Americans.
• Why you should not tell your kids your salary.
• Allowance? Doesn't matter! Studies show conflicting evidence as to whether this helps or hurts kids. Do what you want!
• Chores? YES!
• Top mistakes parents make when it comes to paying — and applying for — their kids' college.
• How Kobliner's parents thrifty ways shaped her financial future.
• Can you really teach a preschooler how to save and budget (spoiler alert: YES!).
• How to let your college grad move back home without promoting co-dependence or entitlement, and save the relationship with your kid!

Full episode transcript and resources: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/beth-kobliner-make-kid-money-genius/ 

Have you ever heard a man say he feels guilty for going to work?

However, I guarantee you have felt guilty as woman for working. 

Whether or not you are a mom, caregiver, mom to a fur baby. Single or married, gay or straight.

Why is it that we women are so full of shame about pursuing paying work — and careers we're passionate about?

In this episode of Like a Mother, I drill into where all this working mom guilt comes from, how it affects you, and specific steps you can take to shed the June Cleaver complex, and not only thrive and grow yourself, but support other women around you, too.

Full episode transcript and resources: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/working-mom-guilt/

For the past 10 years Free-Range Kids' Lenore Skenazy,  New York City journalist and mom of two, has been taking one for the team. The Free-Range Kids author and blog founder has been on a one-woman mission to give kids back the freedom and autonomy they need to grow into self-actualized adults.

I can't get enough of every single thing she has to say, including stats like:

• Crime is back to the level it was when gas cost 29 cents a gallon, says the Christian Science Monitor.
• 2013 gun crime rate back to level of early 1960s, says Pew Study.
• 2014 violent crime rate down another4.4%, says USA Today.
• Pedestrian, bicyclist and car deaths ALSO at lowest rate in decades, says The Council on Foreign Relations.
• And here’s an overall report on crime over the last 25 years, which includes the graph below: Brennan Center for Justice at NYU Law School
• All violent crime in the U.S.: Down  48% 1993 – 2012
• All homicides: Down 50.5% 1993-2012
• Forcible rape: Down 34.5% 1993 – 2012
•  Violence Against Children 2-17 is going down too (and not just because we are helicoptering. Crime is down grown men and women  too, and we don’t helicopter them):
• Physical Assault: down 33% 2003 – 2011
• Rape, attempted or completed: down 43% 2003 – 2011

In fact, the most dangerous thing your kids can do? RIDE IN A CAR!!

I love Lenore's informed candor about what is happening in the world, and what you and I can do about it. Examples:

• Let your kids walk to the bus stop alone.
• Let your kids play at the playground alone.
• Let your kids stay home unsupervised while friends are over -- unsupervised.
• Let your kid do their own homework. 

My only problem with the Free-Range Kids movement is that it isn't adopted widely or quickly enough — despite my eff-you nature I still feel pressure from other parents to hover, coddle and bake way more cupcakes than are good for my time management or public health. I resent that when I am forced to spend time with my kids at the playground, those are hours I cannot work -- or do something less mind-numbing.