Like a Mother

There are 60 peer-reviewed studies that prove that shared parenting — when children in divorced and separated families live with each parent at least 40 percent of the time — is what is best for kids, including in high-conflict situations. But it is also what is best for moms!

In this episode, I talk about my own journey from being a really primary mom, to one with a great co-parenting relationship and the many, many benefits for moms. 

These benefits include:

• Free time!
• Time to date
• Exercise
• Build a business and career
• More flexibility, since the other parent is there in emergencies, scheduling conflicts
• Many more!

Full episode transcript here: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/shared-parenting-benefit-moms/

I hear from women who want to game the system, not earn too much so their child support or alimony payments won't be compromised.

I also hear from women who pay their ex support and alimony, and they, too, limit themselves out of worry of having to pay out more than they care to. And, they may find themselves doing that very thing.

But … who cares?! Ask yourself this: When you are 82 years old, looking back at your life, what do you want to think:

Wow, I really stuck it to my ex all those years and cashed his checks. So awesome!

Or ….

I am so proud that I seized on my creative ideas, worked really fucking hard, created not only a really amazing life for myself and my kids, but also gave them the gift of financial comfort and a role model for making their own dreams a reality — and never being in the crippling situation of financial dependence on another person.

Full episode transcript here: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/podcast-dont-hold-yourself-back-to-spite-your-ex/

 In this episode, I interview Tinder co-founder and Bumble CEO Whitney Wolfe whose insights on dating have me floored. For example, she confirms my hunch that men age 40 are ripe for the picking -- they're accomplished and ready for a cozy relationship. Listen up, ladies!

Also, I help a follower Lisa, in Phoenix, navigate dating after a long marriage, including the ins and outs of online flirtations.

And my mom-BFF Betsy and I kvetch about how we hang out all the time, yet rarely talk about our kids. Because kids are boring.

On Like a Mother with Emma Johnson, I interviewed Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger who recently launched the audio coaching program, "The Single Girls' Handbook," and her wine, P.S. Match, and is author of four books, including Become Your Own Matchmaker. My No. 1 question? How can successful women find love? We also talk about her abortion at age 26, why she wants college women to freeze their eggs, and the how online dating has changed relationships.

Full transcript of this episode here: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/millionaire-matchmaker-patti-stanger-on-successful-women-finding-love-her-abortion-and-why-college-women-should-freeze-their-eggs/ 

Nadia Wiseman found herself struggling when she left an unsafe relationship: struggling to to pay rent for herself and her now-5-year-old son. Struggling to find direction for her newly single life. Struggling to find other women who could relate in her city of Montreal, Canada.

While she found ways to refocus her education and skills as a social worker, Nadia Wiseman launched Single MOMtreal, an organization designed to support single moms in need of resources like food and, clothes, friendship and, for some, help escaping domestic violence. So far, the group has served more than a thousand moms and their families. 

“I knew that if I, an educated, professional woman, struggled with these things as a single mom, there were other women out there who were in the same situation,” she told me. “I knew I could help a lot of people if I could build a community of single moms.”

Full episode transcript here: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/grant-winner-started-nonprofit-help-single-moms-need/ 

In this episode, I discuss being in a rut — and getting OUT. Reinvigorating your life does not require dramatic change – it can be as simple as switching up your schedule, your surroundings, your routine, and your mindset. It's a chance to recreate some aspect of your life and feel renewed and inspired. Trust me, I know. I've been in a rut lately. I'm digging myself out, with big and tiny changes. Everyone can do this — for free!

In this Like a Mother episode I discuss...

• My summer in Kentucky with my boyfriend and my kids
• How to do something different every single day
• Why a change of scenery can help you get out of a rut
• How to switch your routine, one minute step at a time
• How to put a new spin on your mindset

[This is a replay from a couple years ago – because it's THAT GOOD.]

A few months ago I was complaining to friend and Like a Mother guest and business Jenn Scalia about feeling stalled in my career. "I can't work with you until you get through your money blocks," Jenn said, matter-of-factly. You might remember that Jenn went from earning a $38,000 salary to a profit of $400,000 in two years. She credits the work of Denise Duffield-Thomas, a money mindset coach and author of Lucky Bitch and Get Rich, Lucky Bitch.  I paid attention.

Fast-forward two months: I'd read Thomas's book. I love how she offered very clear, reasonable, actionable steps for manifesting what I wanted (in this case: MONEY). She was funny and real, not pretentious, new-age-y or annoying in any way.

Guess what? Money started flowing into my life. Career goals I set magically manifested. Key people I needed on my team suddenly were introduced. Even smaller things -- like my brother gave me his old TV, which was on my to-buy list for Christmas. I met others who had the same experience with Thomas. I bought a stack of Get Rich, Lucky Bitch and gave one to each of my ambitious girlfriends for Christmas.

Here I interview Denise Duffield-Thomas. Just as her videos and book suggest, she is warm, funny and real, as she dished -- very pregnant with her second child -- from her home on the beach in Australia. In this episode Thomas shares:

• Her own experience growing up around poor single moms, and how that shaped her life.
• The first giant manifestation -- an around-the-world, all-expense-paid trip -- created a roadmap for Thomas's future career and success.
• How to manifest money so it is a source of good (and not evil).
• How creating a business has freed so many women from the limits of male-run corporate life.

Check out the FREE Lucky Bitch manifestation course to get a taste of Thomas's charm and powerful tips.

Get the full transcript of this episode: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/likeamother-denise-duffield-thomas/ 

Making money and serving others — these two things are NOT mutually exclusive. That you must chose one or the other is a historically female message: That it's OK to be broke, because we're serving others. That the corporate world is exploitive, evil, greedy, and in direct opposition with service and generosity and community – this is false.

That rhetoric is dated and it's wrong. In fact, the more money you make, the more influence and success you have, the better you are able to serve. Whether it's on a large, global scale, or a small, local scale, when you're successful, you're powerful and you can give and do more. It is possible, ladies.

In this episode I discuss...

• How I started Wealthysinglemommy.com, and why focusing on making money from this project directly correlates with how many people I can serve
• Why making money benefits you, your community, the economy
• The history of "women's work" as a free service, which contributes to this mentality
• How to make money AND serve others at the same time

The FULL TRANSCRIPT of this episode is available right here: https://www.wealthysinglemommy.com/help-others-make-money-same-time

In this episode I interview Elmeka Henderson, creator of blog Adventures in Raising a Vagabond. She helps families – 90% of whom are single moms – travel with kids. She educates parents about safe travel with kids, invites them to travel in her groups, and helps to connect them with communities in areas they visit.

Things we discuss:

• Where to find cheap travel deals
• How to travel abroad safely
• How she saves for travel
• How to find your travel community on Facebook
• Best travel resources
• How she traveled to Milan for a week for under $2,000

Check out Elmeka's blog here: Adventures in Raising a Vagabond

Go to gobankingrates.com/singlemom and enter to win my book, The Kickass Single Mom, as well as Nicole Lapin's Boss Bitch!

I keep hearing the same story again and again from professionally successful women. Variations on:

My grandma told me: "Always have your own money."

It could be a mother, aunt, neighbor, Girl Scout leader, teacher, cousin, mentor or favorite coach.

An older, respected woman looked her straight in the eye, and in her own but direct way said:

• "Do not ever depend on a man financially."
• "Money is power, and never, ever give up that power."
• "You are powerful. Never chose to give up that power."
• "You are responsible for your own life."
• "You are not a victim."
• "I believe in you."

Many of the women who tell me these stories are in their 40s, 50s and older, and their champions were women of a generation or two more senior than that. This is important because it is clear that women found ways to be financially independent — whether through work, or even squirreling away cash in their own name or shoebox in the back of a closet — even if they had but a fraction of the economic and career opportunity you and I enjoy.

They got it. And they made sure that the women who came after them got it, too.

Somehow, we have not collectively gotten it. By 'it,' I mean the giant, enormous pressure for women to be stay-at-home moms and abandon their financial power, and therefore, their autonomy as adults.