In this festival of bile, Chris and Maurice pick up their swords and do battle over which of them has produced the worst cultural artefacts for discussion. Will Pam Ayres' dentally based poetry win out? Will Handel's Sarabande eat dust? Will Tess of the D'Urbevilles or the musical Six ultimately fall suffer fatal blows? Tune in to find out.

Originally recorded on Thursday 28th November.

Despite continental separation and the trials of fickle technology, Chris and Maurice bring you this episode to celebrate the wonders of extreme contrast. From Top Gear's capricious visit to Magnetic North and the sumptuous glory of Vaughan Williams' Symphony Antarctica through to the contrasts between Athens and Sparta and a piece of music that doesn't seem to please anyone, the discussion takes us on one of our most epic voyages yet.

Oh yes, and the sport is Beach Volleyball - of course.

In this week's episode of Lines and Dots, Chris and Maurice explore the complex world of codes. From the the inventiveness of Caesar's cipher and some acrostic-loving monks to the motifs of Schumann and Shostakovich, the discussion considers humanity's love of hiding things in plain sight.

All of this, of course, presented in the mode of an orienteering expedition...

First recorded on 5th November 2025.   

A waxing and waning discussion (punctuated by much 'clean and jerk' action) of this extraordinarily powerful feature of the cultural landscape. From impressionistic organ pieces and (yet more) French poetry through to the Norse myths and the vocal stylings of Cat Stevens, Chris and Maurice ponder what it is that makes the moon such a magnet for creativity.

Anna Lapwood, if you are out there, please take the call.

First recorded on 10th October 2024.

Departing the chalet and heading for the slopes (having stopped off at the ski shop to rent equipment, skill and courage) Chris and Maurice explore the twinned concepts of height and depth in this week's episode.

From the very literal heights of the alpine symphony to the metaphorical highs and lows of Gershwin's quest to be taken seriously as a composer - not to mention the poetic endeavours of a first-century, would-be homewrecker - the discussion slaloms its way helplessly through to an ill-advised recreation of a scene from 'The Spy Who Loved Me'.

First recorded on 2nd October 2024.

Battling metaphorical waves and showing metaphorical physical strength, Chris and Maurice swim the channel in this week's maritime themed episode.

Covering the music of Debussy, the poetry of Baudelaire and Arnold, not to mention a discussion of the compositions of Hans Zimmer, the discussion looks at melancholy, restlessness and the enigmatic possibilities of the sea.

We also name-drop Anna Lapwood for no good reason.

Inspired by all the talk of voyaging in last week's episode, Chris and Maurice take a marathon trek through the concept of the journey. From an exposition of Beethoven's approach to musical form and an analysis of Exodus through to Irish Folk ballads and the utopian universe of Iain M Banks, the road is certainly long...

First recorded on 17th September 2024.

Following a week of technical difficulties, Maurice and Chris are back for a new season and this time we are discussing 'revenge' - a dish best served, as it turns out, twice!

Looking at Virgil's anything-but-epic ending for the Aeneid, Hamlet's messy approach to retribution and some intriguing numbers from the world of Musical Theatre, the discussion takes in everything from personal passions to the beavers at the foot of the cross.

No conkers were harmed in the making of this recording. 

Battling storm-related internet outages, Chris and Maurice survey the bizarre world of absurdity. From sea-cucumbers and musical notation through to an experimental song by Sting and the Police by way of Greek comedy - no stone is left unturned in this parade of the peculiar!

First recorded on 19th July 2024.

In Episode 9, Maurice and Chris explore humanity's obsession with Destiny. From the haunting story of Macbeth and the ominious knocking of fate in Beethoven's fifth to the implausible buxsomeness of David Eddings' fantasy writing and the literary genius of Sondheim, the badminton-themed discussion is as out of control as usual.

First recorded on 12th July 2024.