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This week’s voicemails include (but are not limited to) a Joe Biden guest appearance, slapping watermelons, bits we’d do if we had “f*ck you” money, Would You Rather: Living Conditions Edition, being blissfully unaware, the salad you have before your death row entree, Stan Mute Cancel: Luxury Services, and a Pay Pig Patreon Tier.

Bang our line to get your voicemail played next week — (888) 618-4422 — get in, get out, be tactical.

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