I’ve been on lithium for 16 years. For the past two years my hands quiver and my body noticeably shakes. My tremor was subtle at first, but now it can be impossible to hide. This episode is about how a drug that is helping my mood stay stable also makes my body feel out of control.

Lithium is now believed to be the best—even the gold standard of medication—for bipolar disorder, and it has been a good drug for me, keeping depression and mania at bay. Tremor is a known side effect, and my hands shake fast like hummingbirds.

Today, public interactions can make my entire body shake, which is unlike my younger self. This episode is about identity and grief, and how a body can quietly announce mental illness to the world. Sometimes the dark side of a medication isn’t headline-worthy. Sometimes it’s private, daily, and challenges who we believe ourselves to be.

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Music composed and performed by guitarist, JD Cullum

Edited by Brandon Moran

Sponsored by Soar With Tapping