Livd Divorce Stories

What happens when you face the agonizing choice between staying in a troubled marriage or embracing the unknown by leaving?

This episode promises to guide you through the complex emotions of solitude and community in love. Listen as I lay bare my internal battle with fears of perpetual loneliness, societal pressures, and the deep shame that accompanies the end of a marriage.

You'll hear how I masked these overwhelming feelings with constant activity until a pivotal moment with my therapist, who introduced me to Bell Hooks' transformative book, "All About Love: New Visions." Discover how this book shed light on the difference between loneliness and solitude, and helped me uncover a peaceful state that nurtures self-reflection and authentic human connections.

You'll learn practical steps to be gentle and kind to yourself, finding solace through stillness and quiet reflection. Drawing inspiration from Cheryl Strayed's poignant book "Brave Enough," I illustrate how time and patience are vital to healing, reinforcing the cycle of life that promises eventual betterment.

Join me as we reexamine our perceptions of love, community, and solitude, fostering a compassionate and hopeful approach to these intricate emotions.

Takeaways for Listeners:

When my dear friend Verna Coleman began to see marriage as a strategic partnership rather than a storybook romance, it revolutionized her entire approach to life. Raised under the watchful eye of her parents' enduring relationship, she charted a life plan that took her through pivotal moments, from meeting her ex-husband at 20 to navigating the deep waters of friendship and mutual support.

Verna and I shed light on the internal signals and societal pressures that shape our marital expectations. We share candid insights into the battles we face within ourselves—often overshadowed by friends, church, and societal norms. With trusted friends and self-awareness as our compass, we explore life-altering decisions, the emotional journey of divorce, and the high stakes of choosing oneself amidst turmoil.

Lastly, we dive into the heart-wrenching impact of divorce on family life, particularly on children. Through honest reflections, Verna and I emphasize the importance of prioritizing children's well-being during turbulent times and the transformative power of faith and friendship. Tune in for an inspiring dialogue that underscores the significance of mindful decisions and finding strength within a resilient community.

Takeaways:

Redefining Marriage: Understand how viewing marriage as a merger of assets and access can shift expectations and foster resilience.

Self-Awareness Amid Societal Pressures: Learn the importance of recognizing internal signals and the influence of societal norms on personal decisions.

Embracing Self-Worth During Turmoil: Gain insights into the emotional journey of prioritizing oneself, even amidst the turmoil of divorce.

Protecting Children's Well-being: Discover the profound impact of divorce on children and strategies to prioritize their mental, physical, and emotional health.

The Power of Faith and Friendship: Appreciate the transformative power of faith and strong support systems in navigating life's challenges.

Compelling Quote:

"Remember, at some point, the storm will run out of rain."

Tune in to hear Verna's story and our shared reflections on the path from failed expectations to sustaining resilient bonds.

Join us for an episode filled with raw emotions and enlightening discoveries as we delve into the complexities of marriage, divorce, and the transformative journey to self-awareness. Our guest, Dari Daniels, shares her candid experiences, from the struggles of meshing two personalities within a marriage to the liberation found in post-divorce life. Notably, Dari had to navigate her divorce during the challenging times of the pandemic, adding an additional layer of complexity to her journey. We discuss the unexpected challenges and growth that come with navigating relationships, the support systems that help us cope, and the societal stigmas that we confront along the way. Whether you're going through a similar journey or seeking to understand the intricacies of such life-changing experiences, this episode offers a safe space for empathy, learning, and finding the inner strength that carries us through life's storms.

Listeners will hear:

1. About the intricate interplay between marriage and personal growth. They will understand how the commitment of marriage can lead to significant self-discovery, shedding light on deep-seated issues such as abandonment and rejection.

2. An in-depth exploration of the divorce process as an emotional rollercoaster, replete with loneliness, legal hurdles, and societal judgment. At the same time, they will learn how it opens up avenues for immense personal growth and the development of resilience.

3. Stories of how support from friends and the practice of self-care, like therapy and journaling, prove to be invaluable during times of grief. This discussion underscores the fact that even though we may feel alone in our struggles, there's always a community ready to lift us up.

In Part 2 of this episode, Z continues to share her journey of personal upheaval, resilience, and self-discovery. She delves into the painful discovery of her husband's betrayal and the escalating tensions that forced her to confront the harsh truths about her marriage. She opens up about the difficult decision to proceed towards divorce, the lies that poisoned her relationship, and the crucial steps she took to reclaim her sense of self-love.

As she navigates the process of ending her marriage, Zakiya confronts the tendency to protect abusers and the importance of standing in one's truth. She also reflects on the experience of God's love through the pain of divorce, emphasizing the personal growth and divine intervention that led her to a successful journey post-separation.

In this episode, viewers can expect to hear:

- Zakiya's personal experiences of facing and overcoming toxicity in her marriage

- Her insights on the importance of asserting one's worth and standing in one's truth

- How she found empowerment after loss and transformed her narrative of disappointment into one of hope and success

- Her reflections on the transformative power of truth and self-love

Remember, we're just scratching the surface of Zakiya's incredible journey. Tune in to fully grasp her inspiring story.

In this poignant episode, we delve into the personal journey of a mother facing the dual challenges of divorce and depression. Her candid storytelling takes us through a Mother's Day unlike any other—marked by the bittersweet end of her marriage and the intense love for her children that helps her navigate the darkness. Through her eyes, we witness the transformative power of small moments, the therapeutic process, and the significance of gratitude. As she grapples with her reality, her narrative unfolds into a testament of maternal strength and the rediscovery of joy.

This Mother's Day tale is a moving exploration of resilience, a reminder of the unseen sacrifices of motherhood, and a celebration of the unyielding spirit that propels a mother forward.

Join us for a story that resonates with the complexities of love, loss, and the hope that glimmers even in the toughest of times. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there—this episode is for you.

Zakiya Young, affectionately known as Z, shares her journey through life's challenges, including battling endometriosis, infertility, and navigating divorce in a raw and candid conversation. This two-part interview delves into the complexities of authenticity, societal pressures, and finding strength amidst disappointment and health struggles. The discussion explores Christian dating, marriage misconceptions, and the pressures faced by single women within the church community. Z reflects on her own marital difficulties, abuse, and eventual divorce, emphasizing the importance of intuition and therapy. Her story evolves into one of empowerment and self-discovery, showcasing her resilience and offering valuable insights for anyone facing personal upheaval.

Listeners are walked through the chapters of Zakiya's life, each segment providing a closer look at her experiences:

Join us in this episode as we delve into the world of divorce mediation with Lauren, a licensed clinical social worker turned mediator at Divorce Mediation of North Jersey Practice. Lauren shares insights into the mediation process, its benefits, and how she navigates neutrality while helping couples make life-altering decisions. From debunking myths to discussing financial transparency and unexpected outcomes, this episode offers a compassionate and informative look at an often misunderstood aspect of divorce.

LIVD TAKEAWAYS:

ABOUT LAUREN LoSchiavo, LCSW, APM

Lauren LoSchiavo is a highly experienced and fully accredited NJ divorce mediator with a background in mental health.  She received her B.A. in Psychology from New York University and her Masters in Science and Social Work (MSSW) from Columbia University.  Ms. LoSchiavo has mediated numerous divorces in the state of New Jersey.  She is a licensed clinical social worker in New York and New Jersey and has received extensive mediation training and accreditation through the New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators for whom she has conducted webinars, been a panel expert on how to draft a mediated agreement, and been published in conference materials.  Ms. LoSchiavo is a member of the New Jersey Association of Professional Mediators (NJAPM) for which she serves as a supervising mentor to mediator apprentices.  She is also a member of the NASW, currently serves on the accreditation committee for the NJAPM, and is the membership chair of the National Association of Divorce Professionals (NADP) Bergen County Chapter.  She is a New York University certified graduate supervisor and has been a New York University Graduate Field Instructor and assistant adjunct lecturer.  

SUMMARY:

Vanessa Holliday shares her personal journey of love, loss, and redemption in this candid and heartfelt episode. Through her experiences of marriage, divorce, and remarriage, Vanessa offers raw insights into relationship complexities and the power of faith. She reflects on mistakes, highlights the importance of recognizing warning signs, and advocates for authentic communication and acceptance. Vanessa's story serves as a beacon of hope, inspiring listeners to navigate their own relationship journeys with courage and grace, knowing that nothing is wasted in God’s plan.

LIVD TAKEAWAYS:

ABOUT VANESSA:

In Her Own Words: "I'm a Brooklynite...if you know you know. I'm also a soft place for my family and friends to land...life is hard. I'm passionate about my faith walk striving to keep my heart and mind aligned."

ABOUT LIVD STORIES 

LivD Stories is a space for Black & Brown women because separation is navigated alone.  Even with our village around, the real and hard work that gets us back to happiness is done with self.  And so… LivD stories exists so when women like us are navigating this challenging time – which usually happens in the midnight hour, in the bathroom at work, in the middle of 7th Avenue & 27th in NYC in tears (real story!) there is a community of like-minded women to get us through it without judgment.  

Open and honest, we aren’t here to tell you want to do – we aren’t experts or coaches (we plan to invite them to share resources and advice of course!)  This space is meant to hold community – because truly many just want to feel like they aren’t alone.  I’m so thankful that you chose to join our community and cheers to Living! 

Tania, a mother, entrepreneur, and survivor, shares her journey of enduring abuse, finding love, and prioritizing self-worth. Despite facing challenges, she emphasizes the importance of trusting intuition, self-love, and resilience. She recounts her experiences with abuse in past relationships, her journey to self-discovery, and her determination to create a better life for herself and her daughter. Tania advocates for transparency, accountability, and the pursuit of personal growth.

LivD Truths & Takeaway's:

1. Trust Intuition and Self-Love: Tania stresses the importance of trusting one's intuition, prioritizing self-love, and knowing one's worth in navigating relationships and life challenges.

2. Prioritize Stability and Partnership: She highlights the significance of stability and shared interests in relationships, emphasizing the value of a supportive partner who acts as a friend and teammate in navigating life's daily tasks.

3. Transparency and Accountability: Tania advocates for transparency and accountability in relationships, encouraging open communication and addressing issues rather than suppressing them.

4. Empowerment through Self-Discovery: She emphasizes the transformative power of self-discovery and personal growth in finding peace, overcoming obstacles, and making empowered decisions.

5. Endurance and Resilience: Tania's journey underscores the resilience required to overcome adversity, the importance of seeking support, and the belief in one's innate strength to persevere through challenges.

In Her Own Words

​​I'm a mother, entrepreneur, & innovator. I always trust my intuition, work hard, and dream big! ✨️ Despite life's challenges I have been able to endure, overcome, and excel. My life's goal is to be happy and to be a forever student of life.

Her LivD Truth: 

I have the warrior molecule tattooed on my arm as a reminder of that I’m a warrior.

GET SAFE

If you are experiencing domestic abuse get SAFE. https://www.thehotline.org/

Call: 1.800.799.7233

Summary:

Staci Hallmon reflects on her journey of self-discovery and resilience following the end of her 14-year marriage. She emphasizes the importance of embracing vulnerability, redefining one's narrative, and prioritizing personal growth. Staci's journey involves accepting discomfort, learning from her experiences, and finding grace and gratitude in difficult moments.

LivD Truths & Takeaways:

1. **Embracing Vulnerability**: Staci acknowledges the importance of being vulnerable and allowing oneself to feel and connect with positive energy.

2. **Redefining Narratives**: She grapples with the idea of shedding old stories and embracing the truth, even when it feels uncomfortable.

3. **Resilience of Children**: Staci recognizes the resilience and adaptability of children during challenging times.

4. **Prioritizing Personal Well-being**: She emphasizes the need to prioritize one's well-being, even if it means challenging societal norms or expectations.

5. **Gratitude and Grace**: Staci learns the value of finding grace and gratitude, even in the midst of adversity, as essential components of personal growth and resilience.

About Staci

In Her Own Words

“I am obsessed with good energy. I seek it out. I surround myself with it, and I choose to be a connector of it. I am most comfortable in places where goodness begets opportunity, and I drown in places where community and connections are stifled. I like to soar with eagles that allow me to glide in their wind, and them in mine.”

Her Superpower:

Creating comfortable soft spaces and places. Because most people do see me from the Onset of like oh, she's hard work is about her business. But I'm actually like, I'm a blanket.  and I like to wrap people in that blanket and then say, get comfortable. So that's what I've learned about myself is, I'm a nurturer in that way.

ABOUT LIVD STORIES 

LivD Stories is a space for Black & Brown women because separation is navigated alone.  Even with our village around, the real and hard work that gets us back to happiness is done with self.  And so… LivD stories exists so when women like us are navigating this challenging time – which usually happens in the midnight hour, in the bathroom at work, in the middle of 7th Avenue & 27th in NYC in tears (real story!) there is a community of like-minded women to get us through it without judgment.  

Open & Honest, we aren’t here to tell you want to do – we aren’t experts or coaches (we plan to invite them to share resources and advice of course!)  This space is meant to hold community – because truly many just want to feel like they aren’t alone.  

I’m so thankful that you chose to join our community and cheers to Living!