Live A Conscious Life

In this week's episode, I'm speaking with the wonderful, Lola Davina, and her new book, "Thriving In Sex Work: Heartfelt Advice For Staying Sane In The Sex Industry." We have a very candid, raw, real conversation about the various complexities within and of sex work from a sex worker positive standpoint. Lola takes a "harm-reduction" attitude of sex work, and is interested in how we can make sex work harm-free, oppression free, and as safe as possible. Lola identifies as a feminist, and we, also, talk about how sex work and feminism intersect, and examine why society puts a lot of meaning onto sex and the shame that it places on sex workers. We talk about how emotional labor is central to sex work, and how sex workers can manage their own emotions, which will support them in thriving. Lastly, Lola shares how she wrote in a journal, when she was ten years old, that she wanted to be a prostitute (she's not the first person I know who has shared a similar story). Take a listen to learn more and gain new insights and perspectives from what Lola has to share!   

*Intro & Outro music by Eva Roberts

Want to give some $$$ to Real Feminist Stories Podcast? Go to patreon.com/realfeministstories.com. Thank you to all of my patrons for your support. I appreciate you!

June has done and is doing a lot of amazing work around healing, art, and social justice. In this episode, she talks about the Spoken Word workshops, like "Culture and Identity" and "Redefining Masculinity Series," that she facilitates as well as a retreat, "Sisterhood Leadership Rising," for young women of color to help them write their own stories called. June reveals her story of growing up Thai-American, and connecting with her ancestors and their resiliency as she explores the question of how her ancestors healed themselves. She asks, "How is it that we can reawaken the tools within us to provide that support for one another?" June explores the connections between personal and social liberation, and how her new life coaching pursuit is part of being a healer in the social justice communities. June is passionate about art being central to all of the work that we do, and to challenge what it means to be an artist. I ask her about what liberation, justice and feminism mean to her. She feels strongly that the central component to it all is around Black Liberation.  Please consider supporting Real Feminist Stories Podcast with your dollars $$$$ at patreon.com/realfeministstories or go to realfeministstories.com and scroll down on the home page to make a donation! Thank you for your support! For the links to June's website, go to realfeministstories.com/podcast/june.

*Intro and outro music by Eva Roberts

June has done and is doing a lot of amazing work around healing, art, and social justice. In this episode, she talks about the Spoken Word workshops, like "Culture and Identity" and "Redefining Masculinity Series," that she facilitates as well as a retreat, "Sisterhood Leadership Rising," for young women of color to help them write their own stories called. June reveals her story of growing up Thai-American, and connecting with her ancestors and their resiliency as she explores the question of how her ancestors healed themselves. She asks, "How is it that we can reawaken the tools within us to provide that support for one another?" June explores the connections between personal and social liberation, and how her new life coaching pursuit is part of being a healer in the social justice communities. June is passionate about art being central to all of the work that we do, and to challenge what it means to be an artist. I ask her about what liberation, justice and feminism mean to her. She feels strongly that the central component to it all is around Black Liberation.  Please consider supporting Real Feminist Stories Podcast with your dollars $$$$ at patreon.com/realfeministstories or go to realfeministstories.com and scroll down on the home page to make a donation! Thank you for your support! For the links to June's website, go to realfeministstories.com/podcast/june.

*Intro and outro music by Eva Roberts

I'm here with Carlos and Pedro, who have a podcast called "Men Are Trash", which might sound offensive to some, but their deeper messages are worth listening to and they make me laugh! In this episode, we talk a lot about emotional intelligence, male privilege, the things cis men are unlearning, and emotional labor. We also talk about what it means for men to be friends with women in a way that doesn't revolve around sex or isn't initiated by ulterior motives, but is intended from a genuine desire for connection and friendship. In addition, Carlos and Pedro talk about how exhausting it is to constantly be expected to perform masculinity. Ableism, disability, and language are other topics that come up as well, and Carlos shares his own experience with them. 

If you want to support Real Feminist Stories, please go to patreon.com/realfeministstories or go to realfeministstories.com and scroll for the Donate button! Also, if you're interested in my consulting work, visit realfeministstories.com/consulting to learn more. *intro and outro music by Eva Roberts

Mona is a women's Kinky Sex Coach. How awesome is that? And she's brilliantly created a course called "How To Be A Dominant Goddess" to help women discover their inner Dominatrix and give them permission to explore sexually. In this episode, Mona gives us more insight into this program, the work she does as a kinky sex coach, and her past career as a Professional Dominatrix. We talk about what it means to be sex positive, learning how consent shows up in kink with "hard limits" and "soft limits", and how to negotiate in the bedroom. Mona offers her take on the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon and dispelling myths about kink. Also, we talk about how gender conditioning influences our sex lives, and how women have been socialized to be in society and in the bedroom. Go to realfeministstories.com/mona for the shownotes! If you want to support Real Feminist Stories with your dollars and help me continue to bring you more awesome feminist stories, please visit patreon.com/realfeministstories and choose an amount to pledge or to make a one time donation, visit realfeministstories.com and scroll down until you see the Donate button. Thank you for your support, loves! *Intro and Outro music by Eva Roberts.

Mona is a women's Kinky Sex Coach. How awesome is that? And she's brilliantly created a course called "How To Be A Dominant Goddess" to help women discover their inner Dominatrix and give them permission to explore sexually. In this episode, Mona gives us more insight into this program, the work she does as a kinky sex coach, and her past career as a Professional Dominatrix. We talk about what it means to be sex positive, learning how consent shows up in kink with "hard limits" and "soft limits", and how to negotiate in the bedroom. Mona offers her take on the 50 Shades of Grey phenomenon and dispelling myths about kink. Also, we talk about how gender conditioning influences our sex lives, and how women have been socialized to be in society and in the bedroom. Go to realfeministstories.com/mona for the shownotes! If you want to support Real Feminist Stories with your dollars and help me continue to bring you more awesome feminist stories, please visit patreon.com/realfeministstories and choose an amount to pledge or to make a one time donation, visit realfeministstories.com and scroll down until you see the Donate button. Thank you for your support, loves! *Intro and Outro music by Eva Roberts.

Marcia is the creator of the Good Girl Recovery Program, a relationship coach, a sexual communication expert, and the co-founder of Cuddle Party! First, we dive into her brilliant Good Girl Recovery Program that "helps women to break out of the roles that keep them small and unsatisfied, and move into being more of who they are in all areas of their lives." Marcia explains how women have been raised to be "good girls", how shame shows up differently for women than it does for men, how we've internalized sexist beliefs, and how a woman's desires and knowing what she wants is complicated. 

"It doesn't matter what you do, you're not going to be 'womaning' enough."

We also get into the myth that success solely equals hard work, and how we've internalized the story about how attaining success means we have to suffer. We, also, get into gender, the performance of gender and gender identity. Marcia identifies as femme, which she defines as:

"A performance of stereotypical femininity in a way that is winking at it and is approaching it from a position of power rather than as reaction." 

In addition, Marcia shares about Cuddle Party, consensual touch, and creating these needed spaces. It turns out that Marcia and I, once, many years ago, hosted an all women's sex party. Yes, you heard that right. We dive deeper into how radical and healing these parties were, and how they influenced our relationship to our bodies and our sexuality. Lots of fun topics in today's episode, so waste no more time and press play! You can support Real Feminist Stories Podcast on Patron. Go to patron.com/realfeministstories or give a donation at realfeministstories.com (scroll down on the home page until you see the donate button). Your support is much appreciated! *Intro and outdo music by Eva Roberts

Marcia is the creator of the Good Girl Recovery Program, a relationship coach, a sexual communication expert, and the co-founder of Cuddle Party! First, we dive into her brilliant Good Girl Recovery Program that "helps women to break out of the roles that keep them small and unsatisfied, and move into being more of who they are in all areas of their lives." Marcia explains how women have been raised to be "good girls", how shame shows up differently for women than it does for men, how we've internalized sexist beliefs, and how a woman's desires and knowing what she wants is complicated. 

"It doesn't matter what you do, you're not going to be 'womaning' enough."

We also get into the myth that success solely equals hard work, and how we've internalized the story about how attaining success means we have to suffer. We, also, get into gender, the performance of gender and gender identity. Marcia identifies as femme, which she defines as:

"A performance of stereotypical femininity in a way that is winking at it and is approaching it from a position of power rather than as reaction." 

In addition, Marcia shares about Cuddle Party, consensual touch, and creating these needed spaces. It turns out that Marcia and I, once, many years ago, hosted an all women's sex party. Yes, you heard that right. We dive deeper into how radical and healing these parties were, and how they influenced our relationship to our bodies and our sexuality. Lots of fun topics in today's episode, so waste no more time and press play! You can support Real Feminist Stories Podcast on Patron. Go to patron.com/realfeministstories or give a donation at realfeministstories.com (scroll down on the home page until you see the donate button). Your support is much appreciated! *Intro and outdo music by Eva Roberts

Shireen is a Sports Activist, Writer, Public Speaker who focuses on Muslim women in sports, and who coaches and mentors to a young girl football (soccer) players. She grew up on the east coast of Canada playing football (soccer), and still plays football on a local Muslim women's group. In this episode, Shireen shares about the first time she decided to wear her hijab, challenges Muslim women face in sports, and what it means to be a sports activist. Shireen writes a lot about the lack of diversity in sports writing, and challenges society's ideas of who we think a sports writer is, of who we think an expert is. She defines activism as "People who try their best to make a change in something for the better, more inclusive and equitable for everyone, and having integrity in what you do and trying your best to try to not be an asshole." Shireen writes a lot about the systemic racism and sexism in existing athletic federations and sport clubs, and how most of the people making decisions at the highest levels in sports are (cis) men. She doesn't believe that systemically, things have changed much in society, but that there is more conversation and dialogue through social media now.  "Objectivity is a construct that privileged people created." Also, Shireen talks about how confidence is the biggest struggle that the Muslim girls she coaches face. Instead of starting football (soccer) practice by telling them what they need to work on, she asks them what they are going to bring to the game. She stresses how hard it is to get these girls to talk about what they are good at instead of their flaws. It reminds me that there is always a becoming for girls (and women), that we can't just BE.  Lastly, we nerd out about our love of athletics and sports, including our shared interest in American Ninja Warrior. Shireen shares about the various, interesting sports that she's tried and has gotten really into, and about the ONE sport she wants to try that she hasn't yet. Go to realfeministstories./podcast and click on the one with Shireen to find more about her! Thank you to all of my Patron supports, for making it possible to create more Real Feminist Stories. If you would like to become a supporter, go to patreon.com/realfeministstories. Intro and outdo music by Eva Roberts

Shireen is a Sports Activist, Writer, Public Speaker who focuses on Muslim women in sports, and who coaches and mentors to a young girl football (soccer) players. She grew up on the east coast of Canada playing football (soccer), and still plays football on a local Muslim women's group. In this episode, Shireen shares about the first time she decided to wear her hijab, challenges Muslim women face in sports, and what it means to be a sports activist. Shireen writes a lot about the lack of diversity in sports writing, and challenges society's ideas of who we think a sports writer is, of who we think an expert is. She defines activism as "People who try their best to make a change in something for the better, more inclusive and equitable for everyone, and having integrity in what you do and trying your best to try to not be an asshole." Shireen writes a lot about the systemic racism and sexism in existing athletic federations and sport clubs, and how most of the people making decisions at the highest levels in sports are (cis) men. She doesn't believe that systemically, things have changed much in society, but that there is more conversation and dialogue through social media now.  "Objectivity is a construct that privileged people created." Also, Shireen talks about how confidence is the biggest struggle that the Muslim girls she coaches face. Instead of starting football (soccer) practice by telling them what they need to work on, she asks them what they are going to bring to the game. She stresses how hard it is to get these girls to talk about what they are good at instead of their flaws. It reminds me that there is always a becoming for girls (and women), that we can't just BE.  Lastly, we nerd out about our love of athletics and sports, including our shared interest in American Ninja Warrior. Shireen shares about the various, interesting sports that she's tried and has gotten really into, and about the ONE sport she wants to try that she hasn't yet. Go to realfeministstories./podcast and click on the one with Shireen to find more about her! Thank you to all of my Patron supports, for making it possible to create more Real Feminist Stories. If you would like to become a supporter, go to patreon.com/realfeministstories. Intro and outdo music by Eva Roberts