on this episode of live a little, nikki lilly opens up about something deeply personal she’s experienced for years, but never quite had a name for: limerence.

it’s more than having a crush. it's the obsessive overthinking, replaying conversations, analysing texts, searching for meaning in a look or a delayed reply, and feeling like you need to figure out exactly how someone feels before you can finally relax. for nikki, discovering the word “limerence” was a huge moment of recognition: suddenly, years of thoughts and feelings she’d dismissed as being “too much” started to make sense.

nikki talks about where this fixation comes from, how hypervigilance has shaped the way she experiences relationships and what she’s doing to break the cycle. From separating facts from the stories her brain creates, to learning to sit with uncertainty and asking “what is actually being offered?” rather than “what do they feel?”.

this is an honest conversation about fantasy, attachment, vulnerability and learning to live in the real world rather than inside your own head.

If you’ve ever obsessed over a text, replayed an interaction a hundred times, built an entire future around one tiny moment, or felt like you needed someone else’s feelings to feel okay - this one’s for you.

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welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... this week nikki is diving into a topic she's never properly covered in 40 episodes: why making and maintaining friendships suddenly feels impossibly harder once you leave school, and why nobody warns you about it.

here's the thing about friendship at school: it wasn't something you had to work for. it happened to you. then you turn 20-something and suddenly everyone's scattering. friendship goes from happening in the gaps of your day to something you have to actively put in your calendar.

nikki gets deeply personal about her own friendship journey and what happens when friendship starts to feel like 'proof' of something. she also explores how nobody talks about the vulnerability of adult friendship.

but... there is something to be hopeful about: the power is in your hands. reach out to people, say hello in person and don't be rejection-sensitive.

if you've ever spent lunch alone at school, felt ashamed of having no plans or struggled to know who to call on a random tuesday... this one's for you.

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welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... this week nikki is joined by her friend, actor amybeth mcnulty (anne with an e, stranger things)!

the episode kicks off with nikki immediately addressing the elephant in the room: are they dating? the internet has a lot of opinions on this one...

the real conversation centres on amybeth's most iconic role. from playing anne in 'anne with an e' (and how that character shaped so much of her identity), to her experiences on 'stranger things' and how it taught her the value of having an invested cast and crew.

nikki and amybeth talk about life off-set, the parasocial nature of the internet and how to get comfortable with the idea of being "perceived". they also talk about recognising that you can change whenever you want and they dive into their incredibly niche obsessions!

if you've ever felt like everyone decided who you are before you got to figure it out... this one's for you.

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welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... this week, nikki is opening up her 'live a letters', answering your questions about life, fashion, FOMO, and what it actually means to build worth that has nothing to do with how you look.

nikki is answering questions about how she finds her style, the terrible habit of overcommitting, the comparison trap (and how appearance has become currency) and nikki also gets vulnerable about her scars and getting negative comments.

here's the revolutionary part: nikki identifies what actually makes her her - the things her friends admire that have nothing to do with appearance. the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself, and if appearance is the only pillar holding up your self-worth, every bad photo, comment, or stare has the power to knock everything down.

nikki wraps with a powerful permission: you don't have to think you're beautiful every second of every day to believe you're worthy of being seen.

if you've ever said yes to too many plans out of fear of being forgotten, built your self-worth entirely on your appearance, compared your life to someone else's face, or wondered if you're enough outside of how you look... this one's for you.

don't forget to subscribe and don't miss new episodes every thursday!

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welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... this week, nikki is opening up her 'live a letters', answering your questions about life, fashion, FOMO, and what it actually means to build worth that has nothing to do with how you look.

nikki is answering questions about how she finds her style, the terrible habit of overcommitting, the comparison trap (and how appearance has become currency) and nikki also gets vulnerable about her scars and getting negative comments.

here's the revolutionary part: nikki identifies what actually makes her her - the things her friends admire that have nothing to do with appearance. the most important relationship you'll ever have is the one with yourself, and if appearance is the only pillar holding up your self-worth, every bad photo, comment, or stare has the power to knock everything down.

nikki wraps with a powerful permission: you don't have to think you're beautiful every second of every day to believe you're worthy of being seen.

if you've ever said yes to too many plans out of fear of being forgotten, built your self-worth entirely on your appearance, compared your life to someone else's face, or wondered if you're enough outside of how you look... this one's for you.

 don't forget to subscribe and don't miss new episodes every thursday!

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we're going deep and vulnerable on this episode of live a little, as nikki is saying goodbye to a therapist and is exploring what it means to graduate from therapy and trust yourself.

nikki has just finished a year and five months of therapy - 30 to 60 sessions with someone who genuinely got her, after years of bad therapists and therapy at hospital (the place that gave her trauma in the first place). the thing is, she did the work. she got better. she's in a stable place. and now she has to leave.

nikki gets brutally honest about why she went into therapy, the moment she realised that therapy isn't the full antidote and the year she's spent analysing herself microscopi­cally, learning why she reacts certain ways, where her trauma sits, what triggers her hypervigilance.

nikki's closing thought is powerful: you don't need to understand every feeling before you're allowed to feel it.

if you've ever struggled to say goodbye to something that helped you, felt afraid of being without support, wondered if you're self-aware to the point of self-sabotage, or questioned whether you're enough to rely on yourself... this one's for you.

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on this episode of live a little, nikki lilly is joined by writer, model, broadcaster and activist munroe bergdorf, and the chemistry between them is immediate and electric!

munroe has become one of the most powerful and eloquent voices fighting for trans rights and community liberation. from her ground-breaking memoir 'transitional' to her feature documentary 'love & rage' to her young adult handbook 'talk to me: how to have conversations that matter', munroe has carved out a legacy of radical honesty and uncompromising advocacy.

on this episode, munroe opens up about childhood and the experiences that made her go from 'loud' to inward. she talks about the first time she realised she was trans, how puberty changed how her body was perceived by others and the struggle of developing in a way that didn't feel right.

nikki and munroe bond over the experience of being bullied and the moment you become aware that people won't just understand you, accept you, get you. that's the shift.

munroe also talks about the government coming after trans rights, the ongoing struggle of visibility and safety, and what it costs to hide who you are.

if you've ever felt like becoming yourself might cost you too much or questioned whether hiding is safer than being seen... this one's for you.

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welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... this week nikki turned 22, and instead of celebrating, she's processing something she's struggled with her entire life: why birthdays feel like grief, what it means to let things change.

nikki talks about grieving her younger self and how this year she is trying to honour the version of herself that is here.

also on this episode, she also explores a word she can't stop thinking about: ephemeral. it means fleeting, temporary, something that exists for a time and then passes or changes. and here's what she's learning: just because something ended doesn't mean it failed.

along the way, she talks about loss aversion (a psychological concept that losing something feels much more significant than gaining something new) , the "train station theory and she gets vulnerable about why we're so obsessed with permanence in relationships.

nikki shares a powerful grounding technique her therapist taught her: drop anchor. when her brain races ahead to future catastrophes, she drops anchor back into the present.

if you've ever felt scared of change or wondered how to be present when your brain is always bracing for loss... this one's for you.

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welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... on the episode, nikki is talking about something she's been ruminating on heavily: burnout.

nikki wants to preface this by saying it's not complaining - she knows how lucky she is. but here's the thing: gratitude doesn't cancel out struggle. you can be grateful for something and still feel completely lost inside it.

what do you do when you start feeling lost in your work? and what happens when the thing you're supposed to be good at starts making you question if you're good at anything at all?

after the oscars in march, something shifted... this huge moment happened, and then afterwards came this strange feeling: what now? who am I making content for? what do people actually want from me?

nikki also reflects on the broader picture: her friends who just finished university are up against 10,000 people for one job.

here's what she's learning: quiet periods don't mean you're failing. silence doesn't mean you're not capable. your achievements are not a reflection of you as a person.

if you've ever felt like your job defines your entire worth, experienced burnout in something you love, questioned your abilities when things get quiet, or struggled to separate your identity from your output... this one's for you.

don't forget to subscribe and don't miss new episodes every thursday!

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it's a new episode of live a little, nikki is diving deep into something deeply personal: beauty standards.

nikki talks about how the constant exposure to our images makes beauty standards today more intense than in previous times, the frustrating packaging of wellness, self-care and "glow up culture" and what all of this means to someone growing up with a facial difference.

nikki introduces the concept of roots vs flowers - your flowers are what people notice first (your appearance), but your roots are what keep you alive when nobody's clapping (your kindness, humour, empathy, resilience). she talks about the Alice in Wonderland metaphor of painting roses red and how we internalise comments and comparisons... for better or for worse.

if you've ever felt like your appearance defines your worth, spent your life editing yourself to fit a standard or felt trapped by beauty culture... this one's for you.

don't forget to subscribe and don't miss new episodes every thursday!

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