welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... on this episode, nikki is talking about something she has never admitted out loud before: sometimes she feels the need to exaggerate her pain so that people believe her.

nikki opens up about the "how are you feeling?" and "what's your pain out of ten?" questions that have haunted her entire life - especially in hospital settings. but these numbers have never been simple for her....

nikki has learned early that people respond differently to those numbers. a six sounds manageable. a ten gets taken seriously. so she learned to reach for severity to be seen, heard, and cared for.

she talks about the therapy she's going through to work through her complex PTSD, the loneliness of chronic illness and needing to "sit" through her situation.

nikki talks about feeling like a broken limb versus a paper cut - always having to be the broken limb to be prioritized. but here's what she's learning: validation and attention should be the same whether she's a six or a ten. honesty doesn't erase pain.

if you've ever exaggerated your pain to be heard, felt invisible because your struggles aren't "bad enough," resented people for being able to leave what you can't escape, or felt like you had to perform your suffering to matter... this one's for you.

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you might recognise our guest from the hit film 'my fault: london', the bbc series 'a good girl's guide to murder' or even as one of the most exciting new artists... asha banks joins nikki lilly on this episode of live a little!

on this episode, nikki and asha talk about being introverts in an extrovert industry, being accomplished at a young age and navigating a world that tries to put you in a box.

asha opens up about her incredible career journey - starting in theatre before going into film and tv - and talks about the pressure of proving everyone wrong about their preconceived notions.

they chat about stunt work (asha plays a racing driver in 'my fault'), and asha's current obsession with dissecting music and lyrics in depth. they finish with quick-fire questions - from subway takes (asha's hot take: she doesn't like feta cheese) to her final thought about simple joys: buying flowers for people, spending time with friends, and making the most of sunny days.

if you've ever struggled with social anxiety or wondered how to make something your own... this one's for you.

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on this episode of live a little, nikki is getting deeply vulnerable talking about why she feels unlovable, despite knowing logically that people love her.

there's a crucial difference between knowing you're loved and believing you're lovable, especially romantically. nikki gets brutally honest about her rejection sensitivity - she's never been in a "proper" romantic relationship at nearly 22, so when she has a crush, her brain defaults to catastrophizing.

underneath it all are deeper layers: growing up with a facial difference in a beauty-obsessed world, health struggles that made her feel like a burden, and the fear that if someone's interested, they must want something from her...

but this episode shifts into something hopeful.

nikki shares what she's learning in therapy, talks about distinguishing between intuition and fear wearing intuition's outfit and most importantly, she's learning that rejection doesn't have to be a bad thing. it's part of life.

nikki's closing message is powerful: you are not hard to love just because you needed care.

grab a cup of tea, get cosy and remember - be kind to the parts of you that panic when you want something.

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welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... this week nikki is reunited with someone she's known for a very long time: musician, songwriter, author and youtuber dodie.

they kick things off reminiscing about the first time they met (when nikki had a massive nosebleed!!) and they became best friends from that moment.

they dive deep into something that both of them struggle with - the curse of the youtube brain (that constant feeling of "should i be filming this?"). dodie opens up about how she used to love recording every moment to chronicle her life, but now even in offline moments with friends, there's still that nagging voice asking "is this a wasted opportunity?"

they talk about being introverted despite being online creators, how your sacred time to yourself becomes even more important the more you're visible, and the struggle of figuring out where you begin and where your persona ends. but the bigger conversation?

nikki and dodie explore how social media has shifted, how human connection is so grounding, and how coming back to real life is the antidote to always feeling like you need to be doing more.

but here's the thing they keep returning to: it's okay to just be. you don't need to constantly evolve or optimise yourself. you are enough right now.

they also chat about dodie's incredible collaboration with jeff goldblum (yes, really) and quick-fire questions!

if you've ever felt like you're constantly performing, burnt out from being online, or wondering when being productive became your entire personality... this one's for you.

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welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... this week comes with a content note for conversations around trauma, disability and health struggles.

nikki is reunited with someone incredibly special - katie piper. it's been 8 years since they last sat down together for an interview. they're each other's "safe person" - the kind of no-BS zone where they don't need small talk or pretence, which is rare in the performative spaces they both navigate.

they dive straight into the loneliness of being in the industry when you've been through things that aren't the norm. katie and nikki talk about showing up as their "best selves" when showing up itself takes so much more than the average person - the invisibility of hidden disabilities, the constant hospital appointments, and how choosing what you do becomes a way to reclaim agency.

they get real about working at unsustainable levels because of health fragility and the anxiety that comes with cancelling plans and worrying you'll lose opportunities forever.

the episode explores the freedom of losing fomo in your 40s, how every day is a new opportunity to restart your life (not just your prime years at 20), and how forced solitude became a strength for both katie and nikki.

katie's closing message is pure gold: the human spirit is unbreakable. even if your life has been derailed and you feel broken, you're not - because you're still here telling your story.

if you've ever felt like your life was derailed, wondered if you could survive what you've already survived, or needed permission to live fully despite your circumstances... this one's for you.

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on this episode of live a little, nikki lilly is joined by someone she's been wanting to have on for ages - writer, creator, and poet david larbi.

nikki and david immediately click as "friends in waiting" - those people you follow and just know you'd get on with, but need that in-person connection to solidify it.

they explore the importance of never dismissing what you feel - because denying an emotion doesn't stop it from existing, it just makes it harder to process. nikki shares her therapist's beautiful metaphor about emotions being like weather, which leads into a conversation about why david's poetry resonates so deeply with people: it simplifies big, difficult feelings into something beautiful and digestible.

david gets vulnerable about losing his mum when he was 21, how grief became the language he learned to speak through poetry, and why he doesn't believe in "everything happens for a reason" - some things are just heartbreaking and unfair, and trying to make sense of them is pointless.

the episode wraps with powerful reminders about coming out of uni, why flowers open at different times and they're all still valid, and how the caterpillar is just as worthy as the butterfly.

grab a cup of tea, get cosy and remember - your value is intact now.

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welcome back to live a little with nikki lilly... this week comes with a gentle note that nikki is diving deep into grief and loss.

nikki opens with open tabs - the tab she's loving, the tab living rent free and the tab that needs closing.

but this episode is really about something nikki's been unpicking in therapy - what it's like to grieve a version of yourself that you never got to have or a life you didn't get to live. when nikki was diagnosed at six years old, she completely changed as a person... that little girl who thought life was magical and open-ended, who wanted to be a fairy when she grew up and meant it - she got pulled away too soon.

nikki gets deeply vulnerable about grief mourning, realising she's been grieving someone who is still alive (herself), and how her therapist challenged her to think about her 44-year-old self looking back.

this episode also introduces the fig tree theory from sylvia plath's the bell jar, nikki reflects on grief and she talks about becoming someone her younger self would have needed - someone safe, gentle, someone who stays and keeps going when she isn't able to.

if you've ever grieved a version of yourself, a person you lost, a path that closed, or futures that didn't get chosen... this one's for you.

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welcome back to live a little.. this week nikki, is sitting down with actor and longtime friend tobie donovan (from heartstopper)!

nikki and tobie dive straight into cinema room dreams, the academy museum in LA (dorothy's shoes! maria's dress! the shark from jaws!), and letterboxd panic about whether to be honest or cool with your top four films.

tobie opens up about the pivotal moment that made him want to act - seeing the gender-swapped production of company in the west end with jonathan bailey, he talks about wanting to tell stories in unexpected ways and create space for himself in the industry.

nikki and tobie also get real about the pressure of being a people pleaser, learning to say no (tobie's been working on it in therapy), and why it's so hard to put yourself first when you're wired to make everyone else comfortable.

they also discuss rejection in the acting world - how you can't internalise every no as personal and the importance of separating your value from the yes or no. tobie's wisdom? if you can't brush off rejection, you can't do the job.

if you've ever struggled with people-pleasing, felt the weight of constant rejection, or just needed to hear that journaling might actually help... this one's for you.

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on this episode of live a little with nikki lilly... nikki is getting real about something she's been spiralling about recently: how her world has become very, very small, and how she keeps waiting for the right moment instead of actually living.

nikki opens up about living life like it's a waiting room - waiting to feel better, waiting to be less tired, waiting to be more confident, waiting for some perfect version of herself that doesn't exist... she gets honest about shutting down ideas before they even begin and accidentally living as if her life hasn't really started yet.

nikki talks about being on autopilot and how her brain focuses on the one bad thing that happened instead of acknowledging the ten minutes she sat in the sun. she reflects on treating life like a draft - a temporary version that's not quite ready yet - and how we postpone joy for weekends that never come and save outfits for better versions of ourselves.

this episode is full of practical, gentle ways to stop waiting and start living. nikki shares her list of things she wants to start doing and she talks about the power of nature, doing things badly and imperfectly and the 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique for feeling more present.

if you've ever postponed your life until things calm down, or saved spontaneity for a future version of yourself... this one's for you.

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trigger warning: this episode contains discussions of suicide, grief, trauma, and mental health struggles

on this episode of live a little, we're picking up from last week's episode, as nikki lilly is once again joined by mental health advocate and campaigner ben west.

our conversation starts with ben explaining why his brother, sam, believed that once you got depression, you never don't have depression - a mindset that convinced him he could never get back up. ben and nikki talk about how this is absolutely not the case, and how even with lifelong illnesses like bipolar disorder, people can live very happy, healthy lives.

they discuss the power of hope and why 'reasons to stay' exists - because the only person truly qualified to tell someone it gets better is someone who's been there and made it through.

ben shares one of his favourite letters from reasons to stay, and nikki shares her own journey through PTSD and depression, and how clinical depression creates that tunnel vision where your brain can only remember the bad times.

they explore why we need to practice finding things to live for, the nitty-gritty of emotional vocabulary, how to improve emotional literacy and why there's so much pressure to "fix" someone when really they just need to be heard.

if you've ever felt like things will never get better, or you've struggled to find the right words to help someone... this one's for you.

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