Live Better

Navigate a path through shyness and fear without requiring the help of a social lubricant.

Take four crucial steps toward creating the things in life that you want for yourself.

Expand beyond other people’s expectations and self-imposed limits to focus on possibilities instead of obstacles.

Confront and overcome personal challenges in order to transform your dreams into reality.

Push beyond talk therapy to process past trauma emotionally and not just intellectually.

What to do when someone in your life is making “bad” decisions…

I met my friend Skyler when we were both 28 years old. She has long flowing hair, and a tattoo of a nymph on her arm that she designed. She is funny and smart and almost too cool for me.

Guys love her not only because she is beautiful but because she has the perfect balance of feminine energy and adventurousness that makes you feel like something fun is going to happen every time you’re with her.

I met her on a camping weekend with some mutual friends. She was feeling free but also sad from just having broken up with a guy that she had previously thought was going to be the love of her life.

I’m a little bit of an obsessive person, ok ok a lot obsessive. What’s great about this is my mind works in a series of charts and lists and I am constantly calculating how to make things more efficient. How do I run my business more effectively? How do I implement a better eating program for my client who is suffering from health issues? How can I maximize the time I spend with my dad so he feels the most taken care of and I feel the most connected to him?

Where this whole organizational system can backfire is when my mind gets stuck in a negative loop. As I have mentioned I struggled a lot when I was younger and spent massive amounts of time working through different negative thought patterns.

But of all the things I have evolved and all the things that can potentially trigger me, the one that has been and is the hardest for me is people being mad at me.

Psychologists often talk about the importance of basing your romantic relationship on love and not dependence but what does that really mean? And why do we care?

Love is the feeling we feel when we are not looking for our partner to change or be different in anyway. It is when we are in the space of feeling total positivity towards them.

Dependence is when we are looking for our partners to fill a need inside of us. It can look like wanting them to express their love in a certain way, or act a certain way around our loved ones, or for them to make decisions in their life the way we want them to.

The truth is in romantic relationships, we constantly fluctuating back and forth between love and dependence. It would be unrealistic to think a perfect romantic relationship consists of not wanting or needing anything from our partners (why even be in a relationship then). At the same time, what often destroys good relationships is people not being aware of the balance.

The recipe for a successful relationship is as follows:

1. Fill all the needs in yourself that you are able to

2. Accept everything you possibly can about your partner

3. Whatever is left over communicate to your partner with love 

4. Tell your partner you are grateful when they change to take care of you