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When I was in high school, I worked at a pizza place called Ted's Pizza Palace in Menomonie, Wisconsin. The owner, Ted Hasapes, was from Greece. He always had advice on how to live life for us teenagers who worked for him. It was my first job other than baling hay for a farmer during the summer. Though Ted and his wife Tasula trained me in how to be a waiter in their restaurant, the training I remembered most was the words of wisdom Ted tried to inspire in me. 

What training in your life do you remember most? If you have repeated it to someone else sometime along the way, it must be significant to you. Something to think about...

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Over the years, I have had a plethora of business or "calling cards." Several had just my business information. Some had my picture on it. The first one I had we made after I became a storyteller. It had a picture of a part of an arm with a hand coming from the sleeve because I always started my storytelling programs by pulling the stories from my sleeve. It was the way I made my storytelling style or identified me in a unique way. 

But we also have mental business or calling cards that we leave when we interact with others. What is on those "mental calling cards" are made by the reflection we leave with others. 

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In 1965, a singing group called, The Byrds, made an international hit singing the song, To Everything There is a Season, also known as, Turn, Turn, Turn, written by Pete Seeger. The song talks about there being a season for everything. I loved singing that song as a teenager while strumming my guitar. Each time I hear it now, I realize how many seasons I have lived through since it became popular so long ago. The song reminds us that seasons keep coming and going, but there is purpose to all of it.

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How often have you heard someone say, "If I hadn't gone through that, I would never have found..." It's in retrospect of having experienced a difficult or challenging time that we learn meaningful lessons in life, discoveries about ourselves, and receive doses of wisdom. These moments are hard and not welcomed at the time but can be sources of gratitude as we look back. There is goodness in the difficult.

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There is a story I have told for years entitled, James to the Rescue, by Janet Noonan and Jacquelyn Calvert. It's about a queen who discovers a lovely ladybug in her garden. She instructs her servant, James, to go and find a friend for the ladybug, someone who is just like that lovely ladybug. First, he brings back an ant. The queen screams in dismay and insists he go out again to find someone just like her. Next, he brings a grasshopper, which she rejects, and finally a bumblebee which was also wrong. She pulls him by the ear to look more closely at the ladybug. It is then that they find the ladybug having tea with the ant, the grasshopper, and the bumblebee. The queen learns that the ladybug intends to be friends with everyone, not those who are just like her. 

This is a children's book with an adult message.

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Do you ever look at all the things in your life that would never have happened if you had not said yes? Maybe it's something big like marriage, starting a family, starting a certain career, or taking a job. Or maybe it's small like choosing a hairstyle, reading a certain book, or picking up a new hobby. Whatever the choice, the impact of that "yes" started a ripple effect of experiences that we could never have predicted. Life is a huge room of unknown experiences with unknown outcomes, and we stand at the door, holding the handle.

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Studies have found that “knowing who you are” helps develop an internal sense of self-esteem; strong commitment to doing well in school, work, or play; a strong sense of purpose in life; confidence in one’s ability to make a difference. These are hallmarks of the components that help us construct our identity. It's different for each person depending upon the experiences one has had in life. 

I found a quote recently that made me ponder its meaning. But I decided we can interpret it in whatever way is meaningful to us. Charlie Simic said, "Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others were making ships." To me that seems to be talking about our identity. What do you think?

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Dr. Mary Pipher, wrote in her book, The Shelter of Each Other, "Real communities give people a sense that they are all in this place together. People who live together have something that is fragile and easily destroyed by a lack of civility. Everything you do matters. Relationships are not disposable....Over the internet, people can be deleted the second they become annoying or tiresome....One never needs to see or talk to anyone again." She goes on, "We've moved from primary to secondary relationships, appearance has become much more important to us." That was written in 1996. 

Then, as now, as always, relationships are everything. Without them, loneliness devours. Pipher has an Irish Proverb at the beginning of her book that is most poignant, "It is in the shelter of each other that the people live."

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In one of my journals, I have a little conversation with someone on a ledge of some kind and a voice below that ledge. The one below calls up, "Jump." The reply, "I'm afraid." The voice below says, "Just jump." The reply, "What if I fall?" The voice below, "What if you fly!" I love that story of encouragement to "go to the fear." It reminds me of that adage I learned in an Oprah magazine long ago. The writer said, "If someone asks you to do something, say yes, and then learn how."

It seems some people have a bit more courage than others when it comes to stepping outside our comfort zone. However, we all have the ability, sometimes we just need the encouragement, the hutzpah, the self-talk, or the story to convince us. But we can usually do what we don't think we can.

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Years ago, I was buying a new phone. It was one of those portable landline phones. The young person checking me out told me that it had a warranty, but it didn't include the battery. Then he added, "But you could just bring it in and tell us it doesn't work, and no one would know." Instead of thanking him and moving on, I said, "Well, I teach young children to tell the truth, so I can't do that." At the time, I was a school counselor and decided to use that as an example to teach the students about lying. 

We often are faced with making decisions about lying or telling the truth. It's a good thing to reflect upon so we will be ready to respond.

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