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Has anyone said to you or have you said, "You have my word?" We take the power of words for granted, don't we? They can bring people together, tear relationships apart, make people laugh, start wars, teach the fundamentals of life, bring entertainment...it goes on and on. They truly hold power! But this week I want to encourage you to think about their ability to lead us to becoming deeper, better, and kinder human beings. Let's think about that...

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We have a painting in our home by Canadian Artist Ron Christiansen called, Sunset. It depicts four members of the Ojibwe tribe sitting in a circle in a grassy field at sunset. It's rich in color and line. What I like about it is that you can tell that the artist intended to depict a group in conversation with each other. They sit as they must have sat many times simply visiting. It is a wonderful reflection of one of the most beautiful forms of communication. 

I've often wondered where the words that are released from our mouths go during times of visiting with others. Words cannot be seen but only heard and felt. It is almost impossible to exist without these invisible but vital elements of life. How important is visiting to your life? Have you thought about what you contribute to these moments of sharing with others? Have you thought about the impact being a part of a group of people sharing in simple conversation has on you? 

Good things to consider.

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When I have counseled people who have had struggles with communicating with someone who is angry with them, I often suggest that when they are at an impasse and neither is listening to the other, that they ask the other person, "What do you need most to hear from me?"  

We are in the days of "post election." We all scan the news feeds or listen to the reporters anxiously hoping they will say what we need to hear. It makes me think of the big storm that hit our town right after my dad had left to go to a meeting. I was probably 8 years old and so afraid of the loud crashing thunder and the sharp lightning that struck a tree close to our house. Suddenly, the door opened, and there was Dad. I remember sitting in his lap as we waited out the storm. I imagine I yearned for him to say what he probably did, and that was, "It's going to be alright." 

Now in our adult years, we know that it doesn't always turn out "all right," but as we go forward in life, with the uncertainty of what will happen, the word that we have as our strongest anchor is what we need to hear.

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During this election season, we have all had to mentally reframe what it would be like if one or the other presidential candidate was elected. It's been a tense time. But as I often do, I lean into a powerful quote by Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl who said, “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

Austin Kleon said that when he is anxious, he reads the old masters one of whom is Montaigne, who 400 years ago, wrote in On Prognostications about “the stubborn curiosity of our nature which delights in worrying about the future as if it had not enough to deal with in the present.” He then quotes Lucian: “Let the mind of men be blind to what is to be. May those who fear be permitted to hope.”

Dum spiro spero (while I breathe, I hope).

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These are intense times for our country. I often turn to the wisdom of people who have lived and led through times like these with love and grace. One of those people is Desmond Tutu, who led South Africa's Truth and Reconciliation Commission, after Apartheid ended. In the book, Believe, that shares many of his inspiring messages, I found this quote, "A time of crisis is not just a time of anxiety and worry. It gives us a chance, an opportunity, to choose well or to choose badly." He goes on to say, "This is a moral universe, which means that despite the evidence that seems to be to the contrary, there is no way that evil and injustice and oppression and lies can have the last word... that is what has upheld the morale of our people, to know that in the end good will prevail.

It's funny, but when I need a nudge to reassure me that the energy of goodness and love, that I call God, is present in this world, something shows up to give me that assurance. It happened today. In the podcast, I]share, as I always do, a message to write on your bathroom mirror. The bathroom mirror words that I give in this podcast, I've only seen or heard once, years ago. Until today...in the novel audiobook that I am listening to. It might seem goofy, but it is a hook of hope for me. I'll take it and cherish it. Now you have to listen to learn what that message is!
 
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Our daughter, Maria, and I have ongoing descriptions of our differences in certain areas. When it comes to experiences, Maria reminds me that she holds no expectations so that she is never disappointed and only pleasantly surprised. In life, she says, she strives for contentment, but that I strive for euphoria. We laugh, but it is probably true.

Though I look for the best and positive in things that I experience, life has taught me to accept how things turn out. That is a good place to be and brings me to the theme of today's podcast. Life is ultimately short, and I never want to wish it away or rue any part of it, even the bad parts. Because all our experiences add to texture, shadows, and light in our portrait of life. So, accept, embrace, and soak all we can from every day, from our experiences, from our relationships, so that in the end, our portrait is rich and beautiful.

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There is a Yiddish verb for complaining, kvetch. Its literal meaning is, to squeeze or to crush. When I think of the definition in reference to a person who is chronically complaining, or kvetching, it really fits, because a chronic complainer always squeezes joy out of the moment, crushes someone's spirit, wears on people listening, or simply makes others decide not to spend time with the "kvetcher."   

There are healthy times to complain when action is needed to improve a situation. That is different from the habit of chronic/critical complaining, or "kvetching." The sound of the word, "kvetch" even brings a disagreeable feeling to one's lips. 

So, who wants to be known as a "kvetcher?"

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How do you deal with things that you cannot understand? Things that are a mystery. It can be fairly frustrating in this day and age when we can get answers at the tips of our fingers...via the internet. However, we are also faced with the conundrum of inaccurate answers, too. Much like folklore...answers were often made up to help people contend with the great mysteries in their environment and life. So grapple with that thought. 

How do you handle things that do not seem to have an answer? Are you impatient, frustrated, fearful, anxious, or curious? Take an inventory of yourself. Stories are often our hook to put into some format ways of dealing with the mysteries of life. What stories in your world do that for you? They can be family stories, folktales, novels you've read, or non-fiction that satisfies. Things to think about.

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I have a book entitled, Wisdom from The Hidden Life of Trees, by Peter Whohlleben. In the page on "Patience," he writes: "Acorns and beechnuts fall at the feet of large 'mother trees.' Dr. Suzanne Simard, who helped discover maternal instincts in trees, describes mother trees as dominant trees widely linked to other trees in the forest through their fungal-root connections. These trees pass their legacy on to the next generation and exert their influence in the upbringing of the youngsters." 

I am learning so much about how humans, animals, plants, and any living substance seems to pass along resilience and wisdom. It is amazing. Something not to be dismissed or taken for granted. So, if it is in our DNA to garner our experiences, our instincts, and our observations to pass on something meaningful, perhaps in the form of wisdom, to others, then we should. 

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I love telling the story about a mouse sitting with a dove in a fir tree during a blizzard. The mouse asks the dove what the weight of a snowflake is, to which the dove replies, "Nothing." Then the mouse tells the dove a story about a time when he was sitting on a branch during a blizzard and decided to count the snowflakes as they fell to the branch. When the number reached 1,784,293, the next snowflake, that weightless snowflake, when it fell to the branch, the branch broke. The dove thought a bit and then replied, "If the weight of a snowflake, when combined with that of many, can cause a branch to break, so perhaps the weight of people, working together can make a difference." 

I don't know about you, but I think the dove is right.

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