Living African

In this month of October, we join the breast cancer awareness conversation. In this episode Gwendolyn Ngu, the founder and CEO of Royal Warrior Cancer Foundation shares her breast cancer survivor story. She speaks about how she got diagnosed, the treatment process and how it affected her professional, social, and family life.

We also look are some myths and facts surrounding breast cancer especially in our African community and talk extensively on how we can all, as a community, be more supportive to people dealing with breast cancer and other diseases in general.

[00:01 - 01: 50] Opening segment

[01:51 - 05: 35] Introduction of Topic

• An overview of breast cancer
• Important facts and statistics

[05:36 - 21:19]  Gwendolyn’s Story

• Getting diagnosed
• Getting the news of a cancer diagnosis
• Dealing with the knowledge of her new health status
• Preparing for treatment
• Her prior and general knowledge on breast cancer

[21:20 - 23: 50] Breast Cancer in men

[23: 51 - 32:52] The Treatment Process

• Preparing for treatment
• Going through chemotherapy
• Emotional, mental and physical effects of cancer treatment  on her
• Effects on her professional, family and social life

[32:53 - 50:11] Life Besides Cancer

• Other things she had to deal with while dealing with cancer
• Losing her son to brain cancer after surviving
• Getting a divorce
• What she learned from the whole experience. 

[50:12 - 56:42] Available resources for cancer patients

• Making the right decisions
• Other treatment options
• Looking back on what could be done prior to the diagnosis

[56:43 - 1:10:56] Becoming cancer free

• Recovering
• Reconstruction surgery
• Life after cancer
• Reintegrating society
• Maintenance medication

[1:10:57 - End]  About her foundation (Royal Warrior Cancer Foundation)

• Mission
• Services
• Contact information

Quotable Tweets

"A majority of women who have breast cancer have no risk factors or family history. That is why it is very important for us to really not take it for granted because breast cancer is the second most common type of cancer in women. We have to really make sure that we are being very vigilant and observant with our bodies in general." - Anyoh Fombad

"There is this ideology especially in our  African community that only women can get breast cancer but everybody has breasts and men could also develop breast cancer. It is very important for men as well to also check for those lumps in the breast which are usually a sign of breast cancer." - Anyoh Fombad

"The issue with breast cancer in men, even though it is not as common as in women, is that any the time they discover it, it could sometimes be too late because they don’t think that they can have it." - Anyoh Fombad

"Here is the thing about cancer. I always say the people that really suffer when someone gets diagnosed with cancer is not only the patient. Emotionally, the people around you also suffer because they don’t know how to handle it. Most of the time, they don’t know how to help you." - Gwendolyn Ngu

"I was reading this book and it that said, you only truly live life after you have mastered the art of dying.Yes.  After thinking that I had gotten to this place where I could die and I then did not die, that makes me want to live life on another level." - Gwendolyn Ngu

"When it comes to family and friends; if you have somebody who is sick, keep your own emotions aside. Consider what that person is going through, it doesn’t matter how you feel about them, it could be you. Treat people how you would want to be treated. If you do not know how, ask for help. Ask somebody who had been through that route, or ask the person who is sick how you can help them." - Gwendolyn Ngu

 

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You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more.

Gwendolyn Ngu can be reached through any of the following media:

Facebook: Royal Worrior

Instagram: royal warrior cancer support

Web: www.royalwarrior.org

Email: [email protected]

You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).

Today, we start a new conversation on Fibroids & their impact on the lives of our African women. The goal of this conversation is to educate as well as inspire and empower women/couples facing this health complication. Most importantly, this conversation aims to sensitize our community on reasons why we need to be more sensitive and show empathy towards each other especially when it comes to fertility conversations.   Meet our guest - Mrs. Nehawa Ngundam Abam, An IT Consultant, Business Owner, and Founder of the movement FIBROIDS AWARENESS CAM. Nehawa is passionate, about IT, Customer Service Management and devotes her time reaching out to women by advocating for Fibroids, a condition that is very rampant amongst women; especially women of color.   Being a Fibroids survivor, Nehawa has used her own personal experiences and dedicated her time and resources to create a safe space for women with similar issues. The end goal is to encourage women to turn their pain into power. #GirlPower   Now, let's dive into Episode 31!

[00:01 – 05:39] Introduction

• Introducing the guest and sharing a brief background on the topic.

[05:40 – 18:16] Nehawa's Story

• The beginning of her foundation
• How her experience with fibroids inspired her to start the foundation
• Her journey to her fibroid diagnosis
• Going through miscarriage & being wrongly treated
• The doctor that broke the news 

[18:16 – 29:18] The Surgery Process

• Going to surgery
• The mental burnout & need for support
• Going through recovery 

[29:18 – 40:23] The Emotional & Mental Struggles

• Masking her emotions
• The huge support from family
• How the death of her Dad affected her
• Getting Professional Health

[40:23 – 48:09] Effect of Surgery on Fertility

• Different surgeries and their effects
• Consultations before surgery
• Calling out superstitious & hurtful beliefs
• Being educated on every procedure the doctor proposes

[48:09 – 57:18] How Fibroids affected Her Life in General

• Facing societal pressure on having kids
• Shattering dreams and marital challenges
• Anyoh talks about how society needs to become more sensitive

[57:18 – 01:10:18] Nehawa's Philanthrophic Work

• Challenges faced in this line of work
• Overcoming stigmatization
• Organizing programs & Leveraging online conferences
• Connecting with the foundation

[1:05:36 – 1:10:18] Final Discussions

• Anyoh talks about overcoming stress
• Nehawa shares Inspiration on how to overcome
• How to contact Nehawa

Tweetable Quotes:

“When going through such complications [like fibroids], you badly need a strong support system that will be there for you anytime, anywhere.” – Nehawa Abam

"My catchphrase for fibroid awareness is; turn your pain into strength. Yes, because you have to find the inner strength to overcome." – Nehawa Abam

"I may sound harsh but our community needs to mind their own business when it comes to pressuring people on marriage and having children." – Anyoh Fombad

"I don't know why in our community; women's health and issues are always treated with so much stigmatization that women can't even freely speak about what they're going through."  – Nehawa Abam

LEAVE A REVIEW and tell us what you think about the episode so we can continue putting out the best content just for you!

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more.

Nehawa Abam can be reached through any of the following media:

• Instagram - @fibroidsawareness_cam
• Facebook - Fibroids Awareness Cam

You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).

Today, we continue our conversation on the outlook on Sex & Marriage in the African Community. The goal is to challenge some of the myths and ideologies that limit couples from experiencing the full sexual pleasures of marriage.   This episode has explicit content and listener's discretion is advised. This episode is for adults only - 18 years of age and older.   Our guest for today, Lola Bade-Aluko who is also known as “Lawler”, is a Nigerian Clinical Psychologist and Sexologist currently based in South Africa. Lawler is a wearer of many hats and has taken on a number of great opportunities in her lifetime.   She is a Talk Practitioner, a host at various radio talk programs in Nigeria, England, and Swaziland and also runs a Psychological Unit called Shoulders and a reach-out unit called "Real Issues with Lawler" where she volunteers, hosts talk shows and does counseling. She does all this also while working as the Executive Director of a Technology Firm.   On a more personal level, she is a proud mother to two young adults and a wifey. Lawler is very passionate about mindset transformation and believes in the use of media as well as various other forms of outreach techniques in Behavioral Modification.   Now, let's dive into Episode 30! [00:01 – 10:56] Sex Through The Years

• The progress that has been made over the years and generations when it comes to being open about our sex lives.

[10:56 – 18:46] Sex and Religious Ideologies

• Lawler shares her thoughts on how religion affects our sex lives
• Being open-minded with our sexual experiences

[18:46 – 33:05] The Use of Sex Toys

• The taboo of having/using sex toys
• The idea of having sex toys in your marriage
• The need to learn and unlearn facts about sex toys

[33:05 – 43:33] Orgasms

• The common outlook on orgasms
• Lawler shares an experience she had with a couple on orgasm
• The need for couples to educate themselves on orgasms

[43:33 – 53:45] Discussion on Aphrodisiac

• The buzz around Kayanmata
• Lawler educates us on aphrodisiacs

[53:45 – 1:03:33] Final Discussions

• Lawler gives deep knowledge to couples on how to spice up their sex lives.
• Final words from Anyoh on the last episode of Sex & Marriage

Tweetable Quotes:

“When it comes to orgasms, most couples are not knowledgeable about them. They literally know nothing about orgasms and they need to begin with education on what an orgasm is and how to reach it.” – Lola Bade-Aluko

"Your husband or wife can't be in the mood 24/7 and 365days a year so sometimes, you have to psych your partner's mindset towards sex and indulge in a bit of seduction in order to set them in the mood." – Lola Bade-Aluko

"We hold unto some religious norms and myths which deny us the full experience of pleasure in sex." – Anyoh Fombad

"Our women are now asking questions about their sex life, working on their bodies, and finding out more ways to enjoy sex and reach an orgasm."  – Lola Bade-Aluko

LEAVE A REVIEW and tell us what you think about the episode so we can continue putting out the best content just for you!

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more.

Lawler can be reached through any of the following media:

• Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter: @realissueswithlawler or Lola Bade-Aluko.
• Email: [email protected]
• Contact Number: +27760123910

You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).

Today, we will have a candid discussion on Sex & Marriage in the African Community. The goal of this uncomfortable but necessary conversation is to debunk the perspective and outlook on sex especially in marriage, which has been created in our African community and has led to the downfall of so many marriages.    Our guest for today, Lola Bade-Aluko who is also known as “Lawler”, is a Nigerian Clinical Psychologist and Sexologist currently based in South Africa. Lawler is a wearer of many hats and has taken on a number of great opportunities in her lifetime.   She is a Talk Practitioner, a host at various radio talk programs in Nigeria, England, and Swaziland and also runs a Psychological Unit called Shoulders and a reach-out unit called "Real Issues with Lawler" where she volunteers, hosts talk shows and does counseling. She does all this also while working as the Executive Director of a Technology Firm.   On a more personal level, she is a proud mother to two young adults and a wifey. Lawler is very passionate about mindset transformation and believes in the use of media as well as various other forms of outreach techniques in Behavioral Modification.   Now, let's dive into Episode 29! [00:01 – 03:56] Opening Segment

• I introduce the topic and guest for today’s episode

[03:56 – 19:46] Defining Healthy Sex In Marriage

• Lawler shares the steps to having a healthy sex life in your marriage.

[19:46 – 43:05] Spicing Your Sex Life In Marriage

• We talk more about how to spice your sex life in a marriage
• Why our people are typically conservative and not sexually innovative
• Addressing the idea of taking each other for granted, even sexually
• How to introduce new things into your marital sex life

[43:05 – 57:33] Discussing Some Common Sex Problems

• Lawler shares some deep advice on certain points raised
• Marriage shouldn't be all about sex
• Building a strong emotional connection in marriage
• Lawler addresses the historical aspect of intimacy in marriage through the years - to be continued in Part 2.

Tweetable Quotes:

“What has worked for me is - I look at my marriage as a relationship so I put in the same energy I will put in a relationship into my marriage.” – Lola Bade-Aluko

"I feel like most people are hiding behind Christianity to deny their partners and themselves the chance to explore sexually in their marriages." – Lola Bade-Aluko

"We need to build a strong emotional connection with our partners where we can sit, hold hands and talk, cuddle, be silent, and play with our partners because it shouldn't be always about sex." – Lola Bade-Aluko

LEAVE A REVIEW and tell us what you think about the episode so we can continue putting out the best content just for you!

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more.

Lawler can be reached through any of the following media:

• Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter: @realissueswithlawler or Lola Bade-Aluko.
• Email: [email protected]
• Contact Number: +27760123910

You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).

Today, we continue our conversation to honor Sickle Cell Awareness month, which is September. We will further discuss the importance of donating blood in our community and how that is very useful especially for sickle cell patients. We will be sharing the story of an African mother who has had firsthand experience with caring for her children with sickle cell and why donating blood could not only help patients during an episode, but could go as far as saving lives.      Mrs. Charlotte Tcheudji is a mother of 5 children who were born and raised in Cameroon, West Africa. Two of these children had sickle cell but were fortunate enough to undergo a bone marrow transplant, which though a fortune, has brought a tremendously positive impact on their quality of life. Charlotte has had extensive experience dealing with sickle cell patients from taking care of her children and is so passionate about speaking about the sickle cell as well as helping the underprivileged patients are going through the pain of this disease in Africa through financial and medical device donations.      Mrs. Zita Fomafung, born and raised in Cameroon, West Africa, is a CPA (certified public accountant) by profession and an overall solutionner. I am a serial entrepreneur/hobby-preneur with her latest business Bojongo CPAs serving the Dallas Fort Worth area in the USA. She has several passion projects, one of which led her to create  LifeLine Africa, an NGO with a mission to save lives by making blood transfusion possible. LifeLine was created in 2018 and started operations in Cameroon in 2019. They recruit, retain, and manage benevolent blood donors for their partner hospitals/blood banks. They are the first step to ensuring a safe and quality blood supply for the population.     [00:01 – 02:37] Opening Segment

• Introduction

  [02:37 – 18:27] A Mother's Sickle Cell Story

• Mrs. Charlotte path to having sickle cell children
• Sharing her kid's experience with sickle cell
• Life & raising kid's with sickle cell
• The children's experience with sickle cell
• The story of surgeries
• The path to healing for the kids

 

[18:27 – 35:30] Mrs. Zita's Experience with Blood Donation

• About her organization (Life Line)
• The Blood Donation challenges in Cameroon
• Recruitment for Blood Donation
• How her organization operates
• Challenges facing Her Organization

 

[35:30 – 46:58] Guests Shares More of their Challenges

• The operation of Mrs. Charlotte's organization
• Challenges facing the organization
• Society's mindset on blood donation
• Education & Sensitization
• How we can all contribute 

 

[53:58 – 56:01] Final Words

• How the Diaspora can Help
• Guests share final words
• Anyoh shares final words

 

Tweetable Quotes:

“Blood transfusion saved the lives of my children and without the kind donation of people, they won't be alive. Remember, you can save a lot of lives.” – Charlotte Tcheudji

“Our mentality about blood donation and blood transfusion needs to change because without it, a lot of people are going to die.” – Charlotte Tcheudji

"The most effective way to recruiting the majority of our community to donate blood is through education and sensitization by sharing true-life stories." - Zita Fomafung

"We need to consider the fact that - one day, we're going to be on the other side of the road and we will need blood." – Anyoh Fombad

Ms. Zita can be reached on: Email: [email protected] Instagram and Facebook: LifeLine_africa Website: www.lifelineafrica.org

LEAVE A REVIEW and tell us what you think about the episode so we can continue putting out the best content just for you!

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more.

You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).

In honor of Sickle Cell Awareness month, which is September, we will be shedding more light on sickle cell based on the personal experience of a sickle cell survivor - Iris Mafor Fobanjong. Iris, 43 years old, was born in Cameroon and currently resides in the Tampa Bay area, Florida. She works as an Emergency Room Psychiatric Nurse and she is convinced that there is nothing better than giving to others what she has received from the healthcare industry.     Among her many blessings are her two girls, Georis (17 years old) and Makayla (10 years old), who have both been her topmost cheerleaders untiringly spurring her on. Everyone has a story to tell with an entirely unique theme associated with it. If you ask Iris, her story can never have an introduction nor a conclusion without delving into the question of how life has been, living with sickle cell.     Iris's parents had five children (2 boys and 3 girls) and two out of these five children were born with sickle cell. Her sister, Honorine, passed onto glory at the tender age of 8, from complications that stemmed from sickle cell disease and Iris is here to share the story of her life growing up with sickle cell.     [00:01 – 08:37] Opening Segment

• Introduction
• Explanation Of What Sickle Cell Is

[08:37 – 18:27] Iris's Journey With Sickle Cell

• How she came to know she had sickle cell
• Getting to know your genotype
• A detailed explanation of what a genotype is
• Educating yourself about the sickle cell disease
• The timeline pressure from family

[18:27 – 30:30] Implications of Having Sickle Cell

• Iris's experience with hip replacement surgery
• Her childhood experience with sickle cell in Cameroon
• Going to boarding school as a sickle cell patient
• Her difficult experience with healthcare back in Cameroon
• The stigma surrounding being black and having a sickle cell in America
• The tragic blood transfusion experience back in Cameroon

[30:30 – 53:58] Adulthood & Sickle Cell

• Knowing your triggers
• People's opinion about being a sickle cell patient
• The insensitivity of some Africans
• Iris's dating & marriage journey
• Her experience with childbirth
• How her children are affected by her health issues

[53:58 – 1:01:51] Final Words

• Our community needs to be more sensitive 
• Iris gives health advice for sickle cell patients
• Anyoh shares some words of advice to the African community
• Dealing with some of the stereotypes
• Mafor shares final words

Tweetable Quotes:

“Life will keep changing and as life changes, you have to go with the flow. I am not letting sickle cell define me and you must not allow your health status to define you.” – Iris Mafor Fobanjong

“People go through a lot of pain in life and they deal with it differently so we need to be sensitive and empathetic towards people in our community.” – Anyoh Fombad

"Don't let anyone label you because they can be labeled too." – Iris Mafor Fobanjong

"There is a lot more to live for than your health struggles. You have life and loving people around you so enjoy every moment and don't let your health struggles stop you." – Iris Mafor Fobanjong

Iris can be reached via email: [email protected]

Find Specific Data & Some Information shared on this episode in this link with references: References

LEAVE A REVIEW and tell us what you think about the episode so we can continue putting out the best content just for you!

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more.

You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).

"When are you getting married? When are you having a baby?".....etc.

Do any of these words sound familiar to you? Truth is that if you grew up in an African household, you most likely heard at least one of those words thrown at you. Somehow, we seem to have created this social timeline that has been instituted as a crucial part of being successful as an African. It feels like a degree, marriage, children, etc at an appointed time should be our ultimate goal and highest achievement in life. We tend to forget the essence of purpose and fulfillment, however that may come across to us, should be our ultimate goal in life. 

Today, we will be challenging these superficial ideologies that put so much societal pressure on us Africans. We will defy such a doctrine that has pushed so many Africans to make horrible decisions because they are trying to fit into the status quo and please their loved ones and the community at large. I will be having a somewhat remote fireside chat with two of my very good friends -  Dr. Judwin Ndzo and Dr. Clarisse Wuttidma. 

Dr. Judwin Ndzo is a Pediatric Registrar in East Midlands North, currently based in QMC Nottingham, England. Shortly after graduating with her MD degree, she worked at Solidarity Clinic in Buea, Cameroon, where she developed a passion for managing children. Her interest in nutrition led her to her job with MSF Swiss (Doctors without Borders) and later the French Red Cross in Garoua-boulaï, Eastern Cameroon where she worked in a refugee camp for almost 2 years, looking after malnourished kids. Following this, she won a Chevening Scholarship to study a Masters in Public Health (Nutrition pathway) at the University of Southampton, UK. That same year, she sat the Plab exams and obtained a license to practice in the UK, obtained a job as a pediatric junior doctor, then got into pediatric residency the following year. 

She is keen to help other young Cameroonians/Africans pursue their career goals. When not working, she somehow manages to find time traveling, working out, hiking, cooking, socializing, and hanging out with friends!

Dr. Clarisse Wuttidma was born in Cameroon and moved to the UK in 2006 right after high school. She studied economics and finance at Brunel University London. Upon completing her Ph.D. in Economics and Finance, she started working as an economics and market researcher. She currently works as a rail business consultant for a global company, actively working on the decarbonization of the rail industry and privatization of France’s Rail industry.

She has a great interest in economics and environmental sustainability, educating, encouraging, and helping others attain their goals as much as she can. She loves spending time with friends and family, especially her nieces and nephews. She loves cooking, baking, and entertaining guests.

[00:01 – 03:37] Opening Segment

• Introduction

[03:37 – 18:27] Sharing Personal Experiences with The African Timeline

• Get to know the guests
• The timeline pressure from family
• Pressure from friends and work colleagues
• The Aunties who will be on your case
• Host, Anyoh talks about how the Community has made careless talking a norm

[18:27 – 35:30] The Insensitivity in Our Community & Pressure on Men

• The gossip culture in our community
• Take into consideration people's personal struggles
• Guests share their thoughts on the social pressure men face
• The common outlook on marriage in our African Community
• We need to stop comparing our lives to other people's life.

[35:30 – 46:58] Changing the Norm

• Being open-minded
• Being cautious about what we say
• Trusting your process and believing in your journey
• Being authentic to ourselves.
• Living your life and not someone's life.

Tweetable Quotes:

“Our community has painted a picture that says being married and having children is the ultimate goal of life. But there is soo much more to life than marriage and kids.” – Anyoh Fombad

“In the end, it is somebody's life, and what they choose to do with it. If they get married, fine. If they don't get married, that's fine also. Don't go around pressuring people to take these decisions.” – Dr. Judwin Ndzo

"Life is short and life is not a straight line. Live every day with purpose and only make decisions when you're ready." – Dr. Judwin Ndzo

“It's wrong for us to think the qualification for men to get married is a house and car. What if they lose their job, the car, and the house? We have to change that mindset.” – Dr. Clarisse Wuttidma

"Stay away from the noise and pressure so it doesn't lead you into making regrettable decisions." – Dr. Clarisse Wuttidma

"There is so much careless talk in our community. People say hurtful words to you, they laugh over it and tell you they were joking. We can do better." – Anyoh Fombad

LEAVE A REVIEW and tell us what you think about the episode so we can continue putting out the best content just for you!

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more.

You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).

In this episode, we continued speaking with Lola Bade-Aluko who is also known as “Lawler”, a Proudly Nigerian  Clinical Psychologist and Sexologist currently based in South Africa. Lawler is a wearer of many hats and has taken on several great opportunities in her lifetime. She is a Talk Practitioner, a host at various radio talk programs in Nigeria, England, and Swaziland, and also runs a Psychological Unit called Shoulders and a reach-out unit, called Real Issues with Lawler where she volunteers, hosts talks and does counseling. She does all this also while working as the Executive Director of a Technology Firm. On a more personal level, she is a proud mother to two young adults and a wifey. Lawler is very passionate about mindset transformation and believes in the use of media as well as various other forms of outreach techniques in Behavioural Modification.

[00:01 – 03:16] Opening Segment

• Introduction

[03:16 – 13:54] Demystifying Sex

• The African Mentality on Sex
• Reasons why African Parents saw talking about sex as a taboo
• The need to have a positive view about sex
• Understanding that ypu\re the custodian of your body
• The Stages of Se Education according to age

[13:54 – 29:03] How Sex Education helps to Prevent Sexual Abuse

• Teaching children about abuse
• How silencing children encourages abuse
• Lawler shares her experience with his child
• The Lack of Knowledge in our Community

[30:54 – 44:30] Sex Education in African Schools

• Why Sex Education isn't Encouraged in African Schools
• How some African Countries are changing the narrative
• The Nigerian & South Africa examples
• Sharing a sleepover story
• Applying the stages of sex education

[44:30 – 57:12] Final Suggestions & Remarks

• Steps we need to take in order to educate our teens on sex
• Creating a safe environment for children to press themselves
• We need to stop overreacting about sex
• How to reach out to Lawler
• The promise of having 18+ Episode on Sex Education
• Final words on this topic

Tweetable Quotes:

“Educating our youth about sex will help them understand what they feel, why they feel the way they feel, and what to do about it.” – Anyoh Fombad

“Most African Parents are scared of sexual education because they think it will give the teens a wrong exposure. No, it will rather empower them to take control of their sexuality.” – Lola Bade-Aluko

“If we educate our adolescents on sex accurately, there will be less sexual abuse in our community.” – Lola Bade-Aluko

"We owe our children an obligation to create a safe space where they can talk about sex with us. And that obligation, we can fulfill if we want to.” – Anyoh Fombad

LEAVE A REVIEW and tell us what you think about the episode so we can continue putting out the best content just for you!

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more.

You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).

 

Lawler can be reached through any of the following media:

• • Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter: @realissueswithlawler or Lola Bade-Aluko                  
  • Email: [email protected]
  • Contact Number: +27760123910

On this episode, we will be speaking to Lola Bade-Aluko who is also known as “Lawler”, is a proudly Nigerian  Clinical Psychologist and Sexologist currently based in South Africa. Lawler is a wearer of many hats and has taken on a number of great opportunities in her lifetime. She is a Talk Practitioner, a host at various radio talk programs in Nigeria, England, and Swaziland, and also runs a Psychological Unit called Shoulders and a reach-out unit, called Real Issues with Lawler where she volunteers, hosts talks and does counseling. She does all this also while working as the Executive Director of a Technology Firm. On a more personal level, she is a proud mother to two young adults and a wifey. Lawler is very passionate about mindset transformation and believes in the use of media as well as various other forms of outreach techniques in Behavioral Modification.

[00:01 – 03:16] Opening Segment

• I Introduce our guest, Lawler

[03:16 – 30:54] Defining Sex

• Lawler shares her outlook on sex.
• Lawler talks about the stages of sexual education.
• We share some African perspectives of sex and how it was taught to us growing up.
• Lawler talks about her approach to sex education with her children.

[30:54 – 1:00:56] Host and Guest share Experiences

• Lawler shares her experience with her kids.
• Anyoh shares about her childhood experiences.
• Building a safe space for children to talk about sex.
• The Importance of sex education 

Tweetable Quotes:

“As Africans, we make talking about sex a taboo and that is not healthy.” – Anyoh Fombad

“African Parents prevent their children from dating, parties, and socializing with the opposite sex but when they turn 24, we want them to marry. How?” – Lola Bade-Aluko

LEAVE A REVIEW and tell us what you think about the episode so we can continue putting out the best content just for you!

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more.

You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).

 

Lawler can be reached through any of the following media:

• • Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter: @realissueswithlawler or Lola Bade-Aluko                  
  • Email: [email protected]
  • Contact Number: +27760123910

At the end of every episode, I always call on all the listeners to not let the conversation end with the episode; to take the conversation to various circles and have more meaningful conversations about the topics we discussed.   Today, I brought some of those conversations to light with my little circle - my dad - Dr. Rudolf Fombad, and mom - Dr. Grace Fombad. We got to discuss the general consensus about marriage in our African community, which is not based on facts by the way, that compared to our parent's generation (baby boomers and above), we (millennials and below) don’t value marriage as much because we get divorced easily.    Mom and dad also shared their own perspectives on marital values through the generations based on experience, and we collectively shared some very insightful ideas and observations on various factors that may have influenced the outlook on marriage in our community.    I would love to hear from you, about what you think of any of the episodes that have impacted you in one way or the other. Again, let's keep the conversation going and spark more uncomfortable but necessary conversations.   Source article mentioned in episode: https://www.goldbergjones-wa.com/divorce/divorce-by-generation/   [00:01 – 04:16] Opening Segment

• I Introduce our guests, Dad & Mom

[04:16 – 34:46] The Generations & How They View Marriage

• The generations that came before us (GI Generation, Silent Generation, Baby Boomers, Gen X).
• The early marriage problem 

• The persistency of marriage in the times of our Parents
• How Laws made it difficult to divorce

[34:46 – 59:35] More Discussions on Why Divorce was Uncommon

• Why younger generations are quick to call it quits on marriage
• The positive effects of women empowerment
• Learning to deal with each other weaknesses
• Tips on sustaining marriage

[59:35 - 01:21:39] Final Words and Discussion

• Deeper tips on sustaining a marriage among Millennials and Gen Zs.
• The Impact of the extended family on African marriages
• Getting support from the family
• Final Words

Tweetable Quotes:

"Young people must learn how to react to the emotions of their partners in order to find solutions in their marriage." - Dr. Grace Fombad

"In the older generation, divorce was a taboo and so most people rather stayed in marriage or faced discrimination after divorcing" - Dr. Radolf Fombad

"We have to quickly learn how to help one another to manage the home and keep our marriage." - Anyoh Fombad

"Some women feel they're failures for not having a successful marriage and that's wrong. You're valuable with or without marriage." - Anyoh Fombad

LEAVE A REVIEW and tell us what you think about the episode so we can continue putting out the best content just for you!

You can connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Twitter, or send us an email at [email protected]. Check out our website www.livingafricanpodcast.com for more resources and to learn more.

You can connect with Anyoh on Facebook (@anyohf), Instagram (@anyohfombad), and Twitter (@anyohfombad).