A moment from my recovery, where “what if” softened into presence, and a restful landscape emerged beside a letter to Uncertainty.

There was a period in my recovery when my mind lived in “what if.” What if I had done something differently? What if life had taken another turn? I kept searching for answers in old versions of myself, trying to understand how I had arrived here. It became an endless spiral—a chore of meaning-making that never quite delivered what I hoped.

During an extended stay in a mental health clinic, time slowed enough for me to see what was really happening. I couldn’t change the past, but I could redirect my “what ifs” into the present moment—into small activities, gentle rhythms, and the work of finding myself again.

In that quiet space, I began writing letters to the emotions that were shaping my days. This one is to Uncertainty. Beside it, I painted a landscape that felt restful—soft light, open space, a horizon that didn’t demand anything from me. It became a place where I could breathe again, a reminder that healing often happens in stillness.

This series, Ashes Into Light, shares those letters and the art that held them. My hope is that they meet you wherever you are, and offer a moment of recognition or release.

A group of strangers who once served the people of Australia on the frontline as first responders or military, gathered to begin a life changing program with ex-racehorses. 

Anxiety. Fear. Concern ruled their hearts prior to the program. What if I don’t belong? What if it doesn’t change anything? 

As the first day fears subsided, they each uncovered something new about themselves, something shifts, the load gets a little lighter. They connect with the horse, or with another participant. 

Upon completing the program, the participants return home with a renewed sense of self, better equipped to navigate life’s challenges with greater ease. 

What changed for S., Paul Coates and Mel? Listen to this special episode as part of Podcasthon 2025 raising awareness for Horse Aid. Horse Aid thrives on the community’s generosity to support serving and former first responders and military personnel with PTSD. Discover the program’s impact and how you can help by also tuning in to LivingWell Talks, where Dr Mel Baker talks with director and horseman Scott Brodie. 

When was the last time you've unplugged yourself from technology? In the last 6 months, I've found taking one day off a week from all technology has done wonders to my health and energy.

In the spirit of International Women’s Day (8 March 2024), we celebrate the indomitable strength and courage woven through your narratives. Immerse yourself in this, where my poetry—born from personal tribulations and shared experiences—resonates with the enduring power of resilience and healing. It’s a tribute to women worldwide, a testament to our collective journey towards empowerment and recovery.

To view the video of this episode with scenes from my award-winning short film, Say My Name, go to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRo-QmFFVKs

Music composed by Quinn from Say My Name.

Grieving, a natural part of life, a living expression of an incredibly heavy moment. The last few weeks I’ve been sitting in the most heaviest grief I’ve experienced as my adopted dad passed away. In sharing my life with him and he with me, I allowed myself to be vulnerable. I got an opportunity to be loved, to have shared positive family experiences that I would never have had. I’m so grateful for those 21 years.

In this monologue, I try to speak generically for any loss you may have experienced, whether your child, parent, sibling, grandparent, friend, or most loved animal. The price of love means grief then is so much more. Life has been heavy and empty, until you get to a place of transforming.

Life is most certainly a rollercoaster. One day everything is going fine, then we find ourselves hit with something that knocks us down. In my experience, I have found those little times in-between we can actually bring some life moments back into ourselves. Experiencing release in those times helps us to have the strength to keep going. This musical arrangement demonstrates all those moments in life. I certainly had some fun in creating it! 

A funny moment. How many times in life do we actually laugh at ourselves? Laughing is a great means of lifting our mood. In this episode, I tune into nature to discover some funny birds calls in my neighbourhood, including "get real" "darth vader" and "excuse me". When I shared the experience with my friends they wanted to know what I was taking! Life can get too serious at times, why not have a laugh with me.