Thanksgiving is often travel time for my family. This year, the kids aske to go to New York City, so we did.

I spent the trip pouring out gratitude, for everything from the small to the life changing.

A quote I recently saw reminded me of this trip. "Gratitude isn’t all about what’s going right. It’s about finding a little bit of light in the moment we’re in." It's from Mary Davis.

Gratitude is a daily practice for me and it's helped me incredibly.

One of our stops was the 9/11 Museum, where I'd never been. But I was impacted more than the people I was living near in Maryland on Sept. 11 because I was from New York and I knew people who were killed in the Towers. I ended up moving back to New York a few months after and covered many funerals that year. Funerals of firefighters and others who worked in the Towers.

I was really touched by the World Trade Center site. It was both loud and quiet. There was a palpable feeling of reverence for this sacred space. I felt connected automatically to strangers around me.

It strikes me that this is perhaps this time of year is the most important for gratitude. It will help make it magical and meaningful. It can make all the difference.

Links from this episode:

My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes

Insight Timer

Mary Davis, author

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s tensions — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

Visit my website or Amazon to explore the book, and join me on social media:

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I'm fresh off a four-day gathering of 150 amazing women sharing a room and supporting one another. The Strong Mom gathering is my favorite event.

You never know where you might draw inspiration. I talk about the impact a water tower of all things had on me.

Really.

Smiling -- it's infectious. Following up on Episode 24, it's another form of communication. It creates more kindness and costs you nothing.

Links from this episode:

My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes

Strong Moms

Smiley Face Water Tower, Smithville, Texas

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s tensions — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

Visit my website or Amazon to explore the book, and join me on social media:

• Instagram
• LinkedIn:
• Facebook
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Today's episode is borne out of an experience my eighth-grade son had at school. He was called out for a mistake that his teacher likely thought was disrespectful, and had to write a paper as punishment. He didn't protest at the time because, as it turns out, the teacher made him feel small, embarrassed and disrespectful.

We've all been there.

This kind of miscommunication happens in life. A fair amount.

Communication is a huge issue because we're all different. We deliver and receive communication differently. And, if we're honesty, we all have egos that bruise easily.

If only we could assume best intentions more often. But we're human, and that's hard.

Today, we'll discuss my tips for solid communication.

Links from this episode:

My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s tensions — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

Visit my website or Amazon to explore the book, and join me on social media:

• Instagram
• LinkedIn:
• Facebook
• Substack

Counter-culture, as a term, came to the fore in the 1960s to talk about hippies opposed to the Vietnam War.

But it's popped up more recently in several discussions. So today, we explore it here.

There are several definitions out there for counter-culture, but the one I like best is comparing your inner compass to cultural norms. Those norms, of course, change over time.

But today's norm hasn't been working for me lately. Like our two-party political system. It's emblematic of today's "acceptable" social norm of otherization -- you're either with me or against me. That just doesn't work for me because people in both camps are all human beings who want pretty much the same things.

My philosophy is pretty well summed up by the fictional detective Harry Bosch, who says, "Everybody counts or nobody counts." And, sadly, living that philosophy makes me counter-culturally.

If we don't start to think about the greater good, it affects all of us. We'd all be well-served by looking at ourselves and asking, "How do I want to show up?" And then forgiving ourselves if that's different from our reality. We all have work we can do on ourselves.

Living in our own belief systems is OK.

Links from this episode:

My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes

Harry Bosch books by Michael Connelly

Harry Bosch show on Amazon

The Chosen

Ted Lasso

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s tensions — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

Visit my website or Amazon to explore the book, and join me on social media:

• Instagram
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• Facebook
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Football. I know nothing about it. Nor do I care to.

That's not to say I haven't tried. I have. My daughter's in the same boat. The other half of our family is exactly the opposite. They live and breathe LSU football. All I do is worry about the brain health of the players on the field.

There's a group of people working to change the narrative about football. And I wonder what would happen if people worked as hard for other things that matter. Not that football doesn't, but there are other important things, too. I'm taking about state laws and policies.

After the team lost again over the weekend, the stadium of tens of thousands gelled around a cause: firing the head coach. And it worked.

Imagine what else we could change with that kind of energy.

Links from this episode:

My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes

LSU Football

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s tensions — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

Visit my website or Amazon to explore the book, and join me on social media:

• Instagram
• LinkedIn:
• Facebook
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I saw a recent interview where someone said, "'No.' is a complete sentence."

Wow. That got me thinking.

I grew up a middle child. A people pleaser who found my worth in pleasing people. I didn't know that at the time of course, but that's how I was wired. I still find joy in being generous with others, but in a much healthier way. I say No to a lot more now, and to a lot more than I say Yes to. Because I really put my all into those Yesses.

It starts, for me, with intentional meditation. Every day.

One morning, at the start of a meditation, I read this great quote from Brazilian writer and lyricist Paulo Coelho: "When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself."

That's hard because no one wants to disappoint other people. It makes you question your worth. And the more you do it, the more it feels normal. But, the discomfort dissipates the more you say yes to yourself and no to others. It gives you space to do powerful things for yourself.

Try it. Say no and start setting some boundaries.,

As American author and queer activist Glennon Doyle said in her book, Untamed, "Listen. Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.”

Links from this episode:

My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes

Insight timer

Paulo Coelho

Glennon Doyle's book "Untamed"

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s tensions — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

Visit my website or Amazon to explore the book, and join me on social media:

• Instagram
• LinkedIn:
• Facebook
• Substack

I was 0n the way to some community service with coworkers and a client this spring when we were in a very serious car accident. The client had to be flown to the hospital and, sadly, never recovered. His ashes were strewn at the sprawling prison where he'd spent 50 years before being released just two years before he died.

The service there left a range of impressions. It wasn't all what you'd expect. It was beautiful.

There is no perfection, just the chase of it. But for me, the beauty of humanity is revealed in the cracks of perfection. Be open and curious enough to see them, and you'll see them every day.

Links from this episode:

My Book. Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s tensions — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

Visit my website or Amazon to explore the book, and join me on social media:

• Instagram
• LinkedIn:
• Facebook
• Substack

Today I share about my faith journey.

I grew up Catholic. Sort of. It was never a place where I really belonged as a kid. We went sometimes, but not too often. I didn't think God cared much about me because I didn't' do the things He wanted of me.

In college, I went with friends to a couple of predominantly Black churches. I loved them. I felt welcomed and that I belonged.

My husband grew up Catholic, too. But he knew a lot more about it and felt more belonging than I ever did. We did some church things, put our kids in Catholic schools, but for example I never read the Bible cover to cover.

I asked my kids a lot about church and religion. I was growing curious. Then friends suggested I start watching The Chosen. Three years later, I started. It helped me understand the stories of the Bible. I found a pastor who I love listening to. I found a group of women called the Soul Circle.

I've stopped being so judgmental of others. Not completely. But I've developed a faith for my life. I show up however I want, so I show up with kindness. It makes me feel good, whereas showing up in judgment made me feel bad. It really came about from this show. It struck such a chord of how I want to show up. I've found that faith in God doesn't live in a physical church, it exists within you.

My journey has led me to this moment. I choose to believe that there's something bigger than I. I'm here because I'm loved and I'm enough. And everybody else is, too.

Links from this episode:

The Chosen

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s tensions — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

Visit my website or Amazon to explore the book, and join me on social media:

• Instagram
• LinkedIn:
• Facebook
• Substack

I'm just back from a trip to the beach with my family. There's something just so special about the beach and the sea.

I love the beach -- the emerald water, the powdery white sand, the sunsets, the dolphins. I love it all. It usually melts my stress away.

We had a great time, including a time in the morning when we were playing together in the ocean. I was so grateful and so happy.

One part of our trip reminded me a little of last week's episode. Things can change so quickly.

This was a short trip. I knew I was going to have to be very present to enjoy it, and I was. I enjoyed waves of gratitude.

Compare it to another beach trip earlier in the year, a week after a serious car crash I was in. I took my daughter and a friend to the beach, a happy place of mine, but I was miserable. I hadn't processed the accident and I spent the weekend grieving. My mindset made the sea look angry, the beach lonely, and more.

It reminds me of a poem by one of my favorite poets, E.E. Cummings. It's called Maggie and Milly and Molly and May. It's about the completely different experiences four girls have on the same trip. The last stanza truly hits home:

For whatever we lose (like a you or a me)

It’s always ourselves we find in the sea.

Links from this episode:

My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes

Maggie and Milly and Molly and May, by E.E. Cummings

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s tensions — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

Visit my website or Amazon to explore the book, and join me on social media:

• Instagram
• LinkedIn:
• Facebook
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Joy and Pain -- we can experience both. Sometimes just a few moments apart.

My Dad died several years ago. It was the worst Sunday of my life. For those struggling with the loss of a loved one, I offer tips for navigating grief. I was broken, and these strategies were hard-learned.

I've been moved by a couple of Andy Grammer, an artist I absolutely love. They're linked below. The song talks about the worst days of people's lives. It's filled with pain. But the point is

Life's 50/50. It's never going to be good without having bad. As a life coach told me, there's no exit ramp to the human experience.

I've learned this through the loss of my Dad. The memories hurt for a long time because the lost was so fresh. But hang on, because eventually the memories will bring you a mix of joy and pain and eventually, just joy for the lived experiences.

Links from this episode:

My Book! Living in the Gray – A Memoir About Navigating Life’s Paradoxes

Joy and Pain by Frankie Beverly

Joy by Andy Grammer

Wish You Pain by Andy Grammer

If you heard yourself in today’s episode, you’re not alone.

My book, Living in the Gray gathers ten years of writing about living inside life’s tensions — the both/and moments that shape who we become. It’s a deeper look at the questions behind these conversations.

Visit my website or Amazon to explore the book, and join me on social media:

• Instagram
• LinkedIn:
• Facebook
• Substack