Ashleigh tells us about her favourite episode from our back catalogue. In the last of our series going through the missteps identified in The Plausibility Problem by Ed Shaw, we discussed whether suffering can and should be avoided. We shared our own painful experiences and examined why some argue that the suffering of celibate same-sex attracted Christians is a reason to abandon traditional biblical teaching on sexual ethics.

We went on to show that suffering is a normal part of following Jesus, whether you're gay or straight, single or married. We looked at some of the reasons why God allows us to suffer and the joys and benefits that we receive precisely because we suffer.

We also looked at practical things that help us when we're struggling and ways that we can use our pain to love and serve others.

Resources mentioned and related

• The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
• The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
• Support to Grieve Anne Witton
• You Only Live Once. Really? Adam Curtis
• Kitchen Floors and Gethsemane Andy Robinson
• What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
• Childlessness Anne Witton
• Anne and Abby on Their Community House Anne Witton
• Sharing Life Together Anne Witton
• Confronting Christianity Rebecca McLaughlin
• Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy Mark Vroegop

It can be so painful when we disagree with those we love about this. What do we do when a friend changes their mind on faith and sexuality, or when our church changes its position on same-sex marriage? Does 1 Corinthians 5 contain any wisdom that we can apply here? Ashleigh, Ed and Andrew talk it through.

Resources mentioned and related

• Healthy Spirituality | Holiness and Church Discipline | James Lawrence | 1 Corinthians 5 
• The Art of Disagreeing: How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends in Hard Conversations by Gavin Ortlund 
• Does the Bible Really Condemn Loving Same-Sex Relationships? (Engaging Objections #2), Living Out Podcast 
• Why Can't Christians Agree to Disagree?, Sam Allberry 
• How Important Is All This? (Explore Questions #6), Living Out Podcast 
• How Can We Have Good Discussions With Christians Who Disagree With Us on Sexuality?, Andrew Goddard 

Can sexuality change? Should we seek to change it? Andrew, Ashleigh and Adam talk it through. Adam also shares his journey towards openness to dating a woman, despite his enduring experience of same-sex attraction.

Resources mentioned and related

Research relating to sexual fluidity: 

• What Does Heterosexuality Mean? Same-Sex Attraction, Behaviors, and Discomfort Among Self-identified Heterosexual Young Adults from Spain, Archives of Sexual Behaviour 
• Lisa Diamond on sexual fluidity of men and women, Cornell University 
• Individual fluidity of sexual identity in Stockholm County, 2010 to 2021, European Journal of Public Health 
• Sexual Orientation Identity Mobility in the United Kingdom: A Research Note, Duke University Press 
• Population Trends and Individual Fluidity of Sexual Identity Among Stockholm County Residents, JAMA Network 
• Who Counts as Sexually Fluid? Comparing Four Different Types of Sexual Fluidity in Women, Archives of Sexual Behaviour 
• Sexual Identity Fluidity Among Sexual Minorities: Gender Differences in Determinants of Fluidity and Health-Related Outcomes, Journal of Homosexuality 

Stories of mixed-orientation marriage:

• Sean’s story
• Katherine: The Power and Beauty of Stories (Different Stories #3), Living Out Podcast
• Paul: Responding to Our Desires (Different Stories #5), Living Out Podcast 
• Nat and Matt: Mixed-Orientation Marriage (Different Stories #9), Living Out Podcast

Other resources:

• Resources on Conversion Therapy
• Is Same-sex Attraction Inherently Sinful? (Questions No One Wants To Answer #4), Living Out Podcast
• Is Exorcism Ever An Appropriate Response to Same-Sex Attraction?, Andy Robinson
• Born Again This Way by Rachel Gilson
• Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry
• An Impossible Marriage by Laurie & Matt Krieg
• And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!

Ashleigh, Adam and Andy explore what real love is, and consider how we can align ourselves to Scripture’s truth in a world that preaches something different. 

We also think about the question, 'My friend is so much happier now that they’re in a same-sex relationship – isn't that a good thing?'

Resources mentioned and related 

• Does the Bible Affirm Same-Sex Relationships?: Examining 10 Claims about Scripture and Sexuality by Rebecca McLaughlin – in particular Chapter 10, 'A God of Love Can’t Be Against Relationships of Love'
• Friendship, Living Out Podcast series
• What Is It Teaching You?, Ashleigh Hull 
• A Better Love edited by Ed Shaw 
• Misstep 5 - 'Sex is where true intimacy is found' (The Plausibility Problem #5), Living Out Podcast 
• And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here! 

Is the Bible’s teaching unjust or unfair to same-sex attracted Christians like us? Andrew, Ed and Andy talk through the intellectual and the emotional sides of this, considering how this objection has looked for us personally as well as how we might respond to it.

Resources mentioned and related

• Dominion: The Making of the Western Mind by Tom Holland 
• The Air We Breathe: How We All Came to Believe in Freedom, Kindness, Progress, and Equality by Glen Scrivener 
• Purposeful Sexuality by Ed Shaw 
• Explore Questions: Isn’t God Being Unfair?
• Isn’t God Being Unfair? (Explore Questions #4), Living Out Podcast 
• Is Same-Sex Marriage An Issue of Equality?, Andrew Bunt 
• And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here! 

How has this view harmed us, or people around us? Has it done us any good? And does it do the ultimate harm of keeping people from coming to know Jesus? 

Andy, Ashleigh and Adam explore the harm and the good of the traditional Christian sexual ethic.

Resources mentioned and related 

• Isn’t the Christian Sexual Ethic Harmful and Repressive? (Explore Questions #2), Living Out Podcast 
• Does Christian Teaching Cause LGBT Mental Health Problems? (Questions No One Wants To Answer #5), Living Out Podcast 
• Podcast Series: The Plausibility Problem, Living Out Podcast 
• Resources on Conversion Therapy 
• Kaleidoscope  
• Does allowing same-sex marriage result in church decline? Here's what the numbers show, Ian Paul 
• UK Church Decline and Progressive Ideology, John Hayward  
• The Case Against the Sexual Revolution by Louise Perry  
• And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here! 

In this special episode, featuring the occasional serious answer and several shameless plugs, the Living Out team reflect on 2025 and look ahead to 2026. We hope you enjoy seeing in the new year with us!

The questions 

• What’s one moment in 2025 that you’re grateful for?
• What habit or practice have you found helpful in the last year?
• Who has inspired you this year?
• What book, film, or song has shaped your thinking?
• What’s one challenge that you overcame this year, or something brave that you did?
• Describe your faith journey in 2025 in one word.
• What has surprised you about yourself this year?
• What’s one hope or goal you have for 2026?

Resources mentioned and related 

• Kaleidoscope 
• The Intimacy Deficit by Ed Shaw 
• Unfollow by Megan Phelps-Roper 
• The Witch Trials of J.K. Rowling 
• John Piper’s series on Hebrews 
• John Piper’s series on Romans 
• The Psalms: A Christ-Centered Commentary by Christopher Ash 
• The Horse and His Boy by C. S. Lewis 
• The Last Battle by C. S. Lewis 
• Pray Without Ceasing by Wendell Berry (found in Fidelity: Five Stories) 
• The ‘film with some kind of musical theme’ that Andy considers himself brave for enduring

Does the Bible actually prohibit same-sex sexual relationships? And if it does, are those prohibitions binding on us today? 

Ashleigh, Andy and Andrew talk through some of the arguments here, the things we can agree or empathise with in those arguments, and why ultimately we believe in the historic Christian sexual ethic.

Resources mentioned and related

• Did Jesus Affirm Same-Sex Sexual Relationships?, Andrew Bunt 
• People to be Loved: Why Homosexuality is Not Just an Issue by Preston Sprinkle 
• Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage?: 21 Conversations From a Historically Christian View by Preston Sprinkle 
• Why Do Christians Trust the Bible?, Andrew Bunt 
• Can Christians Trust What the Bible Says on the Topic of Sex?, Andrew Bunt  
• Does the Bible Affirm Same-Sex Relationships?: Examining 10 Claims about Scripture and Sexuality by Rebecca McLaughlin 
• What Does Sexuality Have to Do With the Gospel?, Ashleigh Hull
• And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!

Why is it important to engage with objections and disagreement? Can we actually do that while still loving people? Andrew is joined by Preston Sprinkle (Centre for Faith, Sexuality and Gender) and Katherine Brown (Evangelical Alliance) to chat about these questions.

In the second half of the episode, they talk through some principles for having fruitful conversations from Preston’s book Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? 

Resources mentioned and related

• Preston’s podcast, Theology in the Raw 
• Andrew's conversation with Charlie Bell on Premier Unbelievable? 
• Katherine’s story 
• Does the Bible Support Same-Sex Marriage? by Preston Sprinkle (in particular see Ch1, ‘Foundation 1: How to Have a Fruitful Conversation’) 
• Engaging With LGBT Mental Health, Andrew Bunt 
• The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Haidt. And some things on our website engaging with Haidt's work: 
  • How We Determine What is Good (and How That Helps Us Communicate Better), Ed Shaw 
  • Understanding Youth Culture feat. Mike Snowdon (Youth Leaders' Crash Course #1) 
• Think Again by Adam Grant 
• The Art of Disagreeing by Gavin Ortlund  
• And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!

When people hear that Living Out - a group of same-sex attracted Christians - believe that sex is reserved for the marriage of a man and a woman, they tend to have questions...