Andrew is joined by our old friend Dan and our new friend Ruth as they share their stories of same-sex attraction and talk all about the realities of sexual temptation.  

What helps us to avoid temptation? What about when we give in to it? And what can we learn from how Jesus faced temptation? 

Resources mentioned & related 

• Meet the Authors #21 - Dan Reid 
• I Used to Identify As a Sinner. Now I’m Learning Who I Really Am., Dan Reid 
• Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing, by Jay Stringer (see our book review here and listen to Jay on an episode of ‘The One Conversation’ podcast here) 
• How Can I Find Freedom from the Weight of Sexual Sin?, Dan Reid 
• Handling Sexual Urges (Part 1), Jo Johnson 
• Handling Sexual Urges (Part 2), Jo Johnson 
• The Desires That Tempt You May Not Be Your Deepest Desires, Andrew Bunt 
• What Are Your Desires Telling You? (Could It Be Something Different Than You Think?), Amy Riordan 
• Getting God’s Perspective by Andrew Bunt

Coming out (sharing with someone about your experience of sexuality) is not always easy, whether you're the person sharing or the one hearing about it.

Laura and Paul join Ashleigh to talk about what coming out was like for them. We hear about the first people they told, the things that have been helpful for them in these conversations, and what it's like to share so publicly about such a personal experience. Paul also shares some thoughts on doing all of this when you're married.

Resources mentioned & related

• Laura: Good Friendship (Different Stories #6)
• Paul: Responding to Our Desires (Different Stories #5)
• Should All Same-Sex Attracted Christians Come Out?, Vaughan Roberts
• Coming Out – Some Advice for Christians, Andrew Bunt
• How Should I Respond When a Christian Comes Out to Me?, The Living Out Team

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As Christians who experience same-sex attraction, how can we flourish? In this series we'll talk about coming out, answering people's questions, feeling alone, and more. 

Whether you experience same-sex attraction yourself or you want to support someone who does, this series will have something to comfort, challenge and encourage you.

This episode contains discussion of childhood sexual abuse, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

Jo tells us about her favourite episode from our back catalogue - one that shows how God sometimes breaks into our lives in the most unlikely circumstances. Robert was sexually abused by a teacher at school, forced into becoming a Christian, and went on to marry a woman and lead a church – all while being same-sex attracted and not truly knowing Jesus. From there things fell apart, and Robert began living as an out gay man. Only later would he come to know the love of God for the first time, and give his life to Christ.  

Resources mentioned and related 

If you’re affected by any of the issues raised in this episode, please reach out to someone you trust. In the UK, you can also contact Samaritans for support – call 116 123 free, 24 hours a day. 

Samaritans also provide a full list of organisations you can contact for advice on a range of issues, including abuse and mental health. You can find that here. 

Andy tells us about his favourite episode from our back catalogue. For many people, same-sex attraction can feel very isolating. Ed, Andy and Anne discuss how, over time, they felt less alone and were able to get support from friends and church. 

We share some advice for those just becoming aware of their sexualities and wanting support, and we look at helpful things churches can do. 

And we also learn about Ed's imaginary wife.

Resources mentioned

• Washed and Waiting by Wesley Hill
• True Freedom Trust
• Living Out stories
• Should A Church Start a Group for Same-Sex Attracted Members? Charlie Skrine
• What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 1) Andy Robinson
• What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 2) Andy Robinson
• What Does Good Pastoral Support Look Like? (Part 3) Andy Robinson
• Living Out Church Audit

Ashleigh tells us about her favourite episode from our back catalogue. In the last of our series going through the missteps identified in The Plausibility Problem by Ed Shaw, we discussed whether suffering can and should be avoided. We shared our own painful experiences and examined why some argue that the suffering of celibate same-sex attracted Christians is a reason to abandon traditional biblical teaching on sexual ethics.

We went on to show that suffering is a normal part of following Jesus, whether you're gay or straight, single or married. We looked at some of the reasons why God allows us to suffer and the joys and benefits that we receive precisely because we suffer.

We also looked at practical things that help us when we're struggling and ways that we can use our pain to love and serve others.

Resources mentioned and related

• The Plausibility Problem Ed Shaw
• The Plausibility Problem: A Review Steve Ward
• Support to Grieve Anne Witton
• You Only Live Once. Really? Adam Curtis
• Kitchen Floors and Gethsemane Andy Robinson
• What's Good About Struggling With Same-sex Attraction? Anne Witton
• Childlessness Anne Witton
• Anne and Abby on Their Community House Anne Witton
• Sharing Life Together Anne Witton
• Confronting Christianity Rebecca McLaughlin
• Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy Mark Vroegop

It can be so painful when we disagree with those we love about this. What do we do when a friend changes their mind on faith and sexuality, or when our church changes its position on same-sex marriage? Does 1 Corinthians 5 contain any wisdom that we can apply here? Ashleigh, Ed and Andrew talk it through.

Resources mentioned and related

• Healthy Spirituality | Holiness and Church Discipline | James Lawrence | 1 Corinthians 5 
• The Art of Disagreeing: How to Keep Calm and Stay Friends in Hard Conversations by Gavin Ortlund 
• Does the Bible Really Condemn Loving Same-Sex Relationships? (Engaging Objections #2), Living Out Podcast 
• Why Can't Christians Agree to Disagree?, Sam Allberry 
• How Important Is All This? (Explore Questions #6), Living Out Podcast 
• How Can We Have Good Discussions With Christians Who Disagree With Us on Sexuality?, Andrew Goddard 

Can sexuality change? Should we seek to change it? Andrew, Ashleigh and Adam talk it through. Adam also shares his journey towards openness to dating a woman, despite his enduring experience of same-sex attraction.

Resources mentioned and related

Research relating to sexual fluidity: 

• What Does Heterosexuality Mean? Same-Sex Attraction, Behaviors, and Discomfort Among Self-identified Heterosexual Young Adults from Spain, Archives of Sexual Behaviour 
• Lisa Diamond on sexual fluidity of men and women, Cornell University 
• Individual fluidity of sexual identity in Stockholm County, 2010 to 2021, European Journal of Public Health 
• Sexual Orientation Identity Mobility in the United Kingdom: A Research Note, Duke University Press 
• Population Trends and Individual Fluidity of Sexual Identity Among Stockholm County Residents, JAMA Network 
• Who Counts as Sexually Fluid? Comparing Four Different Types of Sexual Fluidity in Women, Archives of Sexual Behaviour 
• Sexual Identity Fluidity Among Sexual Minorities: Gender Differences in Determinants of Fluidity and Health-Related Outcomes, Journal of Homosexuality 

Stories of mixed-orientation marriage:

• Sean’s story
• Katherine: The Power and Beauty of Stories (Different Stories #3), Living Out Podcast
• Paul: Responding to Our Desires (Different Stories #5), Living Out Podcast 
• Nat and Matt: Mixed-Orientation Marriage (Different Stories #9), Living Out Podcast

Other resources:

• Resources on Conversion Therapy
• Is Same-sex Attraction Inherently Sinful? (Questions No One Wants To Answer #4), Living Out Podcast
• Is Exorcism Ever An Appropriate Response to Same-Sex Attraction?, Andy Robinson
• Born Again This Way by Rachel Gilson
• Gay Girl, Good God by Jackie Hill Perry
• An Impossible Marriage by Laurie & Matt Krieg
• And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!

Ashleigh, Adam and Andy explore what real love is, and consider how we can align ourselves to Scripture’s truth in a world that preaches something different. 

We also think about the question, 'My friend is so much happier now that they’re in a same-sex relationship – isn't that a good thing?'

Resources mentioned and related 

• Does the Bible Affirm Same-Sex Relationships?: Examining 10 Claims about Scripture and Sexuality by Rebecca McLaughlin – in particular Chapter 10, 'A God of Love Can’t Be Against Relationships of Love'
• Friendship, Living Out Podcast series
• What Is It Teaching You?, Ashleigh Hull 
• A Better Love edited by Ed Shaw 
• Misstep 5 - 'Sex is where true intimacy is found' (The Plausibility Problem #5), Living Out Podcast 
• And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here! 

Is the Bible’s teaching unjust or unfair to same-sex attracted Christians like us? Andrew, Ed and Andy talk through the intellectual and the emotional sides of this, considering how this objection has looked for us personally as well as how we might respond to it.

Resources mentioned and related

• Dominion: The Making of the Western Mind by Tom Holland 
• The Air We Breathe: How We All Came to Believe in Freedom, Kindness, Progress, and Equality by Glen Scrivener 
• Purposeful Sexuality by Ed Shaw 
• Explore Questions: Isn’t God Being Unfair?
• Isn’t God Being Unfair? (Explore Questions #4), Living Out Podcast 
• Is Same-Sex Marriage An Issue of Equality?, Andrew Bunt 
• And if this series is raising more questions than it answers, ask us those questions here!