Living With Less Podcast

Episode 45 is all about why life is not about us. At the end of the day it is all about Jesus, how we cling to Him, and how represent Him to others. That not everything God shares with us needs to be immediately shared on a platform or with another person, but tucked in our hearts. How we have to spend time within Him before we can properly handle anything that comes our way in this world.

What Happens When He's Sanctifying Us

• Phillipians 2:12 Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
• Chiseling
• Molding
• Removing
• Giving fresh perspective

Why We Need To Ponder His Word

• There are certain things God wants to teach you before you share them. Example: I wanted to do an episode on the 3 words He gave me a few weeks back. I felt Him nudging my heart that He is still teaching me things through this, He is not calling me to share.
• He needs to heal things in your heart. Example: There are seasons of brokenness where God is using that time to heal us and steward us through His word.
• We're all in a process of learning. If we're breathing God is working in and through you, there may be something He's trying to give you clarity on.

Why It's All About Him

• And he said to me, "It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the spring of the water of life without payment. Revelation 21:6
• God calls us in relationship with Him because of His deep love for us, apart from Him we have nothing to offer this world.
• Everything in life is to give God glory. We all have countless opportunities to give God the glory.
• He is the Creator, the Author, the Perfecter, the Healer. He is omniscient, He is omnipresent. He is this great I AM. We are His creation and He thought about you and me. His son is our gift to eternal life with Him.
• When it's all about us, its ridden with pride and sin.

Episode 44 is all about the seasons of wrestling with go through in our walks with The Lord. It digs into why they are nessacary for our growth as they bring our fleshy desires, pride filled hearts, questions, worries, doubts, and fears all to the surface. These seasons give us the ability to let God truly work in the places that we can find oursleves hiding away. 

Why We Wrestle

• We are fallen people who want nothing more than control and the ability to see the outcomes.
• Our flesh wants to do the things our faith tells us not too.
• We want God to work within our timeframe.

God Never Breaks His Promises

• John 15:1-7 - Abide in me and I will abide in you.
• Jeremiah 29:13 - You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart.
• 2 Chronicles 20:12 - For we are powerless against this great horde coming against us, for we do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.

5 Things God Has Been Teaching Me

• A hard seasons is always coming. This is why our faith cannot stay stagnant. A growing faith with The Lord can endure when the hard things come.
• God can handle my words. I cannot let fear keep me from speaking my jumbled thoughts. He just wants me to surrender the words to Him. (Philippians 4:6)
• Keep up my shield of faith at all times. Take my thoughts captive and make them obedient to Christ. (Ephesians 6:16)
• The Lord wants to reveal himself to us. (Psalm 25:14)
• As for His will and hold fast to it. 

Keep Your Eyes On Jesus is all about why we need to do so and how we can get off track. Chelsey shares some of the things The Lord has shown her during her 4 weeks off podcasting. How she needed to be knowing Him just as much as she was serving Him. 

John 15:4-7 Clarity On Why We Need To Be Fixed On Jesus. 

• 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.

Cling To Jesus In The Dry Season

• When the dry season comes, don't shut your bible! Don't put it on the shelf and promise you'll open it later. Run to Jesus. Run to His word.
• Keep showing up. Keep going to the hard places and surrender the scary things to Jesus. 
• He'll depend your faith in unexplainable ways.

He Is Always Doing A New Thing

• The Lord wants to always be doing new things in and through us.
• He loves us so much He wants to invite us into partnering with Him.
• If we trust Him with us, He will do the new thing.

The Areas Of Distraction

• The distractions that come from to many good things on our plates. 
• Our sin nature - the sins we easily fall prey to if we're headed into complacency.
• The attacks of the enemy. If you're following Jesus the enemy will attack you.

Verse To Cling To When We Feel The Enemy Coming

• 2 Chronicles 20:12 - For we are powerless against this great horde coming against us, for we do not know what to do but we will keep our eyes fixed on you.

1) Tell us about the wonderful you!

I am a wife to one, and momma to 4. My husband is in the Air Force, we currently we are stationed in San Antonio. Texas is seriously awesome, we love living here and our church is great! We've really grown in the Lord and have people around us that help us, help our marriage, help our family and have truly been great encouragers in the Lord.

2) This topic is one that causes deep feelings of grief and questioning. How have you found a way to cling to The Lord in this rather than retreat from Him.

Right before we lost our baby, I felt a revival in my heart after a season where I had been stagnant. So leading up to the miscarriage, I had been re-baptized 2 months prior. I had been baptized once before when I was 10, but as a grown adult, I wanted to redeclare that decision and rededicate my life to living for him. At the time didn't know that I was pregnant, nor were we trying.

God knew. He knew I would need Him. My clinging was simply an acknowledgement that God was holding onto me first. It was nothing on my own doing, but the Lord calling out to me and me just reacting to his irresistible grace and love.

3) I’ve had several friends walk through this, but as someone who hasn’t experienced it for myself, I never know what to say. I don’t want to say too much or too little. What did you need from your friends in this season?

This is a hard question, because I think everyone can respond differently. For me, I secluded myself and I didnt want to do anything. So when I had friends who reached out to check on me first, that was encouraging. I didn't want to be the person who would text someone or turn the subject of conversation to something sad, so when friends acknowledged and asked me about it, it gave me an opportunity to share and outwardly express my grief.

But most of all, I needed people praying for me and pointing me back to God. The enemy could have used this season to turn my back against the Lord, but I truly believe that God was close to me during this season of suffering.

4) When people experience miscarriage it seems doubting God’s goodness would be easy to do and definitely something the enemy would use to distract. Were there any scriptures you held tight to during this time to keep focused on the GOODNESS of God rather than letting your mind go the other way.

I found verses in stages of grief:

Psalm 55- explained the beginning of my grief

The passage starts out with (1)“Listen to my prayer, O God, do not ignore my plea; hear me and answer me. My thoughts trouble me and I am distraught.”, (4) my heart is anguish within me”, (5) Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me.”

The passage ends with the words, (23) “As for me, I trust in you.”

Daniel 3:17-18 “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if He does not,”

I began to pray that even if he does not, that He was still good. God cares about the posture of your heart, and getting my heart to accept this was the hardest part.

John 11:35 “Jesus wept”- the shortest verse in english* (3 shortest in its original greek)

This passage was about the sisters of Lazarus who were grieving and mourning the loss of their brother. And in verse 33 it says, “When Jesus saw her weeping, and the jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was moved in spirit and troubled.”

Jesus cares about my loss. He was there with me, weeping and holding me close the entire time.

The final verse that continues to bring healing 1 Peter 5:10- “And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.”

This verse just kept showing up everywhere. I felt like I was at my most vulnerable and the enemy was prowling around me. I was short tempered during this time, I was impatient and I felt like I had no choice but to truly believe that God works all things for His good(Romans 8:28)

I just didn't know what “the good” was yet, so in a season of waiting, I had to trust that God had a plan. Which was to restore, confirm, strengthen, establish. I put my whole heart in that verse and truly believed it, and still do.

5) Jesus promises to be near to the broken hearted, this would be one of the most painful heartbreaks, can you share a little about the dream you had where you felt the Lord’s presence.

The morning I woke up to come to the realization that I might have been miscarrying, I started praying immediately. My husband met me at the doctor but they couldn't actually confirm our loss yet. I did a blood draw and ultrasound. They told me to come back in 3 days for another blood draw.

Those 3 days were the long days of my life and without a doubt the most sorrowful. I prayed Psalm 55, Daniel 3, JOhn 11:35 and 1 Peter 5:10 like they were stages of grief.

When the Doctor told us that we lost the baby after those 3 days of waiting… I went home confused because I had prayed the most I had ever prayed up to that point in my life.

I feel asleep on my husband's chest with his shirt soaked in my tears and I had the dream.

I had recently lost my great grandpa(I was pregnant at his funeral- i just wasn't aware of it yet). I Regularly have had dreams of my great grandma who died a few years prior and she's shown up in my dream in major point of my life. (engagement, marriage, pregnancy) kinda cool because she’s always been in my dreams like that after her passing. Well my great grandpa had never been present in those dreams until after his passing and on the night we lost our baby.

I dreamed that both my Grandpa and Grandma were walking towards me carrying a baby in a swaddle. We were in the clouds and my rocking chair(that was in Kennedi’s room) was in the clouds with us. I sat down in the rocker and they handed me the baby. I rocked the baby for what seemed like hours. Holding and rocking. The baby told me that his name was Jackson(Which wasn't a name we had picked for him- but is his name now) and he was going to be ok. And that I was going to be ok. Right before I woke up, I handed Jackson back to my Grandparents, watched them walk off into clouds until I couldn't see them anymore and then I woke up.

6) What was the best Godly guidance you received during this season that you’d love to share with the other women walking through this currently or have walked through it.

Allow God to use you during loss and suffering. Accept Him into the suffering and don’t let the suffering go to waste. God is close to the broken hearted. I truly believe that.

Genesis 50:20 “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

Because I allowed this suffering to not make me bitter, the story God gave me through Jackson has become a light. I asked God to give me courage to share Jackson and his life and prayed for God to use this for HIS GLORY. He then started sending me women who had or were experiencing loss. He equipped me to be a helper. (which is funny because my enneagram is 2)

7) I had a friend who went through this loss and someone said to her, “I thought you had enough time” in regards to grieving. Speaking from your own story have you felt like part of you holds that loss in your heart each day?

He's changed my perspective slowly. Grieving is a process and no one can put a number on the days.

Psalm 30:11 says, “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy.”

That “joy” I will receive might not be in this lifetime on earth… but this promise is still true because one day I WILL be reunited with Jackson. And we will be dancing together on golden streets.

Grief doesn't mean that I don't accept God’s plan, grief becomes my acknowledgment that I need His presence within His plan. And everytime I talk to someone about this, I pray that he will continue to restore, confirm, strengthen and establish.

8) I typically ask each guest on the show to share what they would tell someone if they asked what they needed to live with less of in regards to becoming more like Christ. BUT I felt the Lord wanted me to ask you, “How did you want others praying for you while you walked through this season.”

That the Lord would reveal that His plans are greater than my own.

Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Praying that the pain will be taken away, to me, sounded like an empty prayer. Not saying that the Lord couldn’t use that prayer, but I selfishly wanted to hold onto the pain because the pain was associated with something I lost. And that meant if I held onto the pain, then I wasn't giving up on my baby. Grief becomes a matter that overtakes your heart, so praying that the Lord will give me a new heart within the suffering.

The Lord has given me a new heart on this. The reality is, God holds Him now. He is greater than I. His plans are greater than mine. When I realize that God is still good despite the pain, that's where I was able to heal.

Job 1:21 “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; Blessed be the name of the Lord.”

That the Lord would instill THAT perspective. That He gives, He takes away. That even if He doesn’t save, his ways are still higher than mine.

God hand picked me to carry an angel for Him. Jackson's first steps were on holy ground. And his first words were singing in a choir of angels. I am confident that his life was not in vain and I refuse to allow the enemy to tell me otherwise.

This week Amanda Bacon is joining the Living With Less podcast as a special guest. She works for Proverbs 31 Ministries, is co-author of Shiny Things, co-host of All The Mom Things podcast, a wife and superwoman to 8 kiddos..yes, you read that correctly I said 8! Today we’re going to be talking all things Jesus, book writing, mothering, and choosing lasting things over lesser things.

1) Tell us about the wonderful you! (Family, home, church, job, ministry, etc.)

-Hi! My name is Amanda Bacon and I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. I've been married to Jeremy for twenty years and am the mom of eight children ages 7-18. We're relative newbies in the South, having lived here just over three years. My husband and I grew up in Alaska, and all of our children were born there! I serve on staff at Proverbs 31 Ministries on Lysa TerKeurst's team, and write online at themasterpiecemom.com and amandabacon.com. I'm the co-author of Shiny Things: Mothering on Purpose in a World of Distractions, which released in April 2019.

2) When did you feel the call to become an author/writer! What started the whole idea of writing the Shiny Things?

-I've loved to write since I was in the 4th or 5th grade and continued to love it through my college years. I even enjoyed writing research papers! Shortly after I became a mom, I started to blog in 2006 and have been doing so ever since. What started out as updates for faraway friends and family turned into something different. Through the writing I was doing, I found that I loved to encourage women using biblical truths and examples from my own life. In 2014, Anne-Renee Gumley (my co-author of Shiny Things) and I started an online ministry to moms called The Masterpiece Mom. The writing we do at TMM turned into a blog post that turned into a book idea that a publisher noticed! And now we have a book.

3) What was your favorite part in writing the book? I find when I write I learn so many things about myself and The Lord. What do you feel stands out most to you in seasons of intense writing?

-My favorite part of writing the book was doing so as a duo with Anne-Renee, and the dependence on the Lord that grew out of that experience. I also found I loved writing for a long time on a single topic!

4) I loved the story you shared when you talked about being at that conference looking down at your belly and knew you and your husband were supposed to grow your family again, what was that like? What was it like sensing God so clearly in a moment.?

-Yes, in Chapter 11 of the book, I tell the story of being in a hotel shower at a mom conference far from home and seeing the formation of a "bow" formed as the blood came to the surface of the skin on my abdomen in the hot shower! I had been praying in the shower and crying out to God about whether or not we should start trying to conceive a 4th baby. It was an amazingly personal and vivid moment with God. I heard the message He was sending loud and clear: Children are a gift. Our 4th baby was born 18 months later.

- Even for the people listening to this episode who aren’t growing their families, don’t have children, or honestly aren’t married! I think we all have moments where we feel God move in this way but some chalk it up to just a thought/feeling. What would you tell someone who experiences this type of moment.

-I would say two things: 1) Don't push it away or flippantly disregard it. and 2) Don't run full-fledged after it either! Take it to the Lord in prayer.

5) I loved asking Anne-Renee this question! Since your book is all mainly geared towards moms, who has been the best role model in your life when it comes to this season of life.

-I'll have to say, I haven't had many mentors in my life. I'm not exactly sure why that is, but it has grieved me many times throughout the years! But I do have one special friend who is near and dear to me and is a stage ahead of me who has helped me so much through my mothering years. And I have always looked up to moms who have raised or are raising four or more children, since that's my life. I love to hear how they do things. My life now mothering eight children is very different than when I was mothering one to three children, so I love hearing from the women who have juggled lots of kids!

6) What’s the hardest distraction you deal with when it comes to mothering in our world today?

-I'd say I am my biggest distraction. I don't compare myself to other moms or women, but I do get lost in thoughts that might be negative about my life or myself. And those painful thoughts can lead me to want to get lost in the apps on my phone.

7) Our sweet boy Cam is actually turning 2 the week this airs! What is your best encouragement for us younger moms in the throws of littles.

-I had to come to a point where I realized I won't be perfect and neither would my kids. It sounds simple, but how often do we expect this from ourselves and kids? Let your kids be imperfect and offer lots of love and grace.

8) The Living With Less podcast is all about living with less of the things getting in the way of who Christ is calling us to be. If someone asked you something they needed to live with less of in regards to becoming who God is calling them to be what would you tell them?

-I love this question! I think we all could live with less swirling thoughts that are left unchecked in the secret spaces of our minds and hearts.

2 fun things to wrap us up! Favorite Bible verse and why.

-I love the story in 2 Chronicles 20. So that whole chapter is amazing! I've been camping there a lot lately.

Best part of having a family blended with adoption!

-The best part of having both bio and adopted kids is the compassion I've seen grow in my older kids' lives. It's been beautiful to see!

You can find Amanda at themasterpiece mom.com , Amandabacon.com, and @amanda_bacon_

Tell us about you! (Family, home, church, job, ministry, etc.)

• Grew up in the PNW, went to college in Oregon … met a boy from Alaska
• Have 2 kiddos, ages 14 & 15 (both learning to drive … prayers appreciate)
• Worship at our church here in Alaska
• Amanda and I met 14 years ago through MOPS; co-coordinated group
• Love writing and doing ministry w/ Amanda
• We joke we’re the Mom Opposites (8/2 … public school / homeschool … working outside the home … now total opposite sides of the country)
• But between the 2 of us, we represent moms all over, with different backgrounds & various seasons/stages of mothering. (We weren’t meant to be cookie-cutter versions of each other. We serve a creative God!)

When did you feel the call to become an author! What started the whole idea of writing the Shiny Things?

• Loved working together through MOPS, dreamed of writing a book together someday
• Brought a book proposal to She Speaks in 2013. Met w/ several publishers, one of which was Harvest House. Told us quite frankly that this was more than a book. It was a ministry.
• So we started an online ministry: blog / podcast in May 2014
• Amanda wrote a blog post on distraction … it really seemed to hit a chord and really resonated with us. Suddenly we were hypersensitive to all these things pulling at us, keeping us from being intentional with our time and our people, and decided this was a message we needed to write about.
• Fast-forward 6 years and here we are with a ministry and a book.

What was your favorite part in writing the book? Did you find healing in it, did God teach you things about yourself you hadn’t seen before?

• I had no idea until we stared writing this book how big of a topic distraction really was. Not just for our mom community, but for me personally. It was really eye-opening for me to realize and acknowledge that distraction is so much more than just an issue of technology and social media. It’s comparison. Discontentment. Fear. Worry. Pain. What others think of me. It’s what I use when I’m bored or just trying to avoid doing what I know I should be doing. I realized it’s all the things that keep us from fixing our eyes on Jesus … and keep us from focusing on what matters most: our faith / families / the callings God has put on our hearts. That was sobering.
• Writing was therapeutic, but also really revealing. Distraction is a heart issue, revealing what truly matters to us. And I had no idea how many things I was allowing to get in the way of growing in my walk with the Lord. The ways I’d allowed discontentment to creep in. Areas where I’d invited worry and anxiousness to take over. And really being honest in identifying these areas and being willing to work on them.

The Chapter “What The Day Dreams Wont Tell You” absolutely changed my life. It was like a key unlocking a part of my heart I never let the Lord get to and he used your words to do so! Can you share a little bit about the why behind this chapter?

• The heart behind that chapter was one of fear and trepidation. It was a chapter I felt very strongly that I needed to write, but one I was fearful to put out there into the world. It talks very strongly about what happens when we’re distracted by the what-ifs and could-bes. When we invite discontentment in, and what the long-term effects can be. How dangerous certain thought patterns can be … and how it can have heartbreaking life-changing results.
• I can’t tell you how many times I almost deleted that chapter. But it felt so important to keep in there. To tell the whole story of what happens when we allow the enemy of our souls to whisper distracting words into our ears. Because of course the enemy does not want to see godly families raised up! So he’s going to do everything in his power to keep us distracted and keep us from focusing on what’s most important … which of course is those things with eternal impact and value.

Since your book is all mainly geared towards moms, who has been the best role model in your life when it comes to this season of life.

• I have been blessed with some really amazing role models and mentors in my life through the years. But I would have to say, the #1 role model in my life has definitely been my own mom. She is someone who speaks life-giving words to me on a regular basis and helps me gain perspective in whatever mothering season I’m in. She encourages me. She prays for me. And regardless of how hard things are, she always points me back to the feet of Jesus. So do not underestimate the power of encouragement, ladies! We are called to be the “iron that sharpens iron.” To speak the truth in love. Be that kind of friend. Be that kind of sister. And be that kind of mom to your kids.

What’s the hardest distraction you deal with when it comes to mothering in our world today?

• It would be easy to say that my phone is the biggest distraction, but really, it’s deeper than that. For me, my phone just represents a deeper heart issue. And in writing this book, I discovered how much I’ve allowed Comparison to rule my heart and my time. Social media can be a wonderful tool to connect and encourage, but it can also be a major time suck and something that keeps me from flourishing in my relationship with the Lord. … When I compare my life to others, it stirs up discontentment and insecurity. I don’t need to constantly be looking at what others are doing. I need to follow what God has for me and be confident in that!

I’ve got an almost 2 year old. What is your best encouragement for us younger moms in the throws of littles?

• Recognize the gift of right now. That this is a season. This is not forever.
• Wishing for these years (or this season) to be over blinds us to see what a gift it is right now.
• There will be time for callings, hobbies, and other things later on.
• But ask yourself: Is right now the right time?
• Don’t be too quick to wish these years away. They’re precious. They truly are.

8) The Living With Less podcast is all about living with less of the things getting in the way of who Christ is calling us to be. If someone asked you something they needed to live with less of in regards to becoming who God is calling them to be what would you tell them?

• I would say to ask yourself as you go throughout your day: Is this a lesser thing, or a lasting thing? And go from there.
• Identify the threat of distraction. Really wade in deep and figure out your top distractions are. Identify them. Label them. And then get rid of them.
• And don’t let them creep back in. We can’t resist of the pull on our own. We need our friend, Jesus. And we need accountability. We need the Body of Christ.
• As with any struggle, you can’t just get rid of it without replacing it with something. Get into God’s Word. Spend time in prayer. Fix your eyes on Jesus and let it all come back to Him.

2 fun things to wrap us up!

Favorite Bible verse and why!

• Prov. 16:9 (“A man’s heart may plan his way, but the Lord directs his steps.”)
• I’m really good at planning and not so good at trusting His heart
• It reminds me to fully rest in His perfect purposes and plans.

Best part of Alaska living - and where to visit if we ever travel there!

• It’s taken me several years to really love where we live and see (truly see) the beauty all around me. And now it’s like I can’t stop. I’m just in awe of our God and His amazing creation.
• The best part of living in AK: is seeing God’s fingerprints all over the state
• We are surrounded by majestic mountains and breathtaking scenery everywhere we turn.
• Where to visit: South Central Alaska (some of my favorite places are within a 2 hour radius of where we live – Denali, Talkeetna, Hatcher Pass, Girdwood, Portage Glacier… they’re all so gorgeous. Like everywhere you turn, God’s just trying to show off.) So come see us! We would love to introduce you to our incredible state.

Places you can find Anne-Renee:

• ShinyThingsBook.com (Book / Blog / Podcast info) / #shinythingsbook

TheMasterpieceMom.com / AllTheMomThingsPodcast.com

FB: The Masterpiece Mom / Instagram: anne_reneegumley

1) Tell us about the wonderful you!

My husband, Dale and I pastor a church an hour south of Washington DC - in Fredericksburg VA. I serve as a pastor on staff with a focus on women and leadership. We have 2 young adults - Gabrielle, who just graduated from JMU with a musical theatre degree, and is home for a little bit performing regionally, and a son, Christian, who is attending college at VOUS University in Miami - an extension of Southeastern U.

So we're in a new season in our family - and there's never a dull moment. And of course, our favorite member of the family, our Shih Tzu, Chewie - short for Chewbacca. :)

My degree was Music Education and I served as a Worship Pastor for 20 years and have 3 CD's with original songs and arrangements before I started writing Bible Study resources for women. I'm still active musically in my local community theatre as a Music Director and pianist. That's a fun, creative outlet for me. 

2) I felt so compelled to reach out to you when you posted about the topic of disagreements. In our time of history it’s SO hard to disagree without walking away with someone feeling “bullied or belittled” “misheard or judged”.  When you’re in a conversation that’s heading this way what do in this situation? Do you address how it’s feeling or do you redirect? 

I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, society has shifted from dialogue to debate, and we can't simultaneously listen empathetically and try to win an argument. Conflict is inevitable, but learning to handle conflict in a godly, respectful way is so important. I don't always nail this, I confess! We don't have to agree with someone to honor them. A mentor once encouraged me to filter disagreements through this lens: "Am I trying to do right or be right?" If the disagreement is with someone close to you - family, or close friend, allowing for things to settle down and revisiting it after emotions have calmed down can help. Listening for - and validating - the other person's feelings is critical - even if you don't agree. Validation doesn't mean agreement. It simply means you understand where that person is coming from. Until someone feels "heard" or "understood" it's hard to move on past that place. But if the disagreement is with someone you barely know, for example social media, or you realize you're not going to get on the same page. It's best to let it go. 

A conflict at work can sometimes be a bit trickier and needs other resolution approaches.

3) We can’t control what people do or don’t do. Stand for or don’t stand for. I spoke about holy boldness on my podcast 2 months ago, God’s Boldness is much more gentle than our fleshly boldness. How have you navigated this with ones close to you? 

I love that truth - think of how God handles us. We can be grateful He is gentler with us than we are sometimes! We can't control other people's reactions; we can only control our responses. We waste a lot of emotional reserves and energy focusing on trying to control where we disagree. Ultimately, I'm not the Holy Spirit and I can't convict anyone of sin or help lead someone to heart change. Only He can do that. I can love people where they are and point people to Jesus. I'm still learning to adapt to having young adult children, and the 4 of us are now adults with strong opinions. Sometimes we disagree and some topics just aren't wise for us to discuss. But relational conflict needs open and honest communication and respect for the other person's viewpoint. 

4) Your statement, “No one has power over you unless you give it to them”. Do you have any biblical encouragement for girls like me who struggle with this! 

I can really credit Eleanor Rosevelt for this statement  - she said it this way, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." But it is challenging! I think immediately of Esther in the Bible. Once she learned that Haman, high up in the King's command, planned the genocide of her entire people, she had to sit on that information until the right moment to act. She gave us a template:

Stop and pray. 

Enlist a couple people you trust to pray with you (they don't even have to know the details.)

Wait for God's timing. 

Speak the truth in love - more concerned with the good of others than your own feelings. 

A friend once said to me - If you have to talk with someone about an offense or a disagreement, it should hurt you as much to say it as it will for them to hear it. If we haven't prayed through our emotions and listened for God's voice on how to respond until we can honestly say we're at this place, we're not ready yet. 

5) Love is fuel. Can you elaborate on this and why we’ve got be better at being the hands and feet of Jesus. 

Anger is fuel but so is love. We have to choose which we're going to be fueled by. One repels and estranges us from others, and one endears us to others. One of the titles of Jesus I'm most intrigued by is those who called Him a "friend of sinners." Somehow he navigated speaking truth but in love - so people were drawn to Him and drawn to a new way of living. Scripture says that the Kindness of God leads to repentance. When our actions and words are fueled by genuine love for others - which can only come after we've spent time with Jesus privately, then others will be drawn to Jesus. In my upcoming Bible study I put it this way: "We'll be the best version of ourselves in public when we've spent time with Jesus in private." If I haven't gotten His heart I can't show His heart to others. 

6) Living With Less Question - the podcast is all about Living With Less of the things getting in the way of who Christ is calling us to be. If someone asked you what they should start living with less of in regards to this what would you tell them and why? 

Live with less unmet expectations. The root of a lot of conflict is unmet expectations. This leads us to disappointment and resentment. It doesn't mean we shouldn't have realistic expectations of ourselves or others. It means we need to constantly release any unmet expectations to Jesus, because ultimately, only He is able to fully meet the expectations of our heart. 

If we're feeling stuck, we can get unstuck by talking our emotions through with the other person, if that's the right solution, or settling our sideways emotions in Jesus' presence. Bring as few people into the drama of a situation as possible. It makes it much harder to resolve and adds unnecessary dynamics of conflict. 

Also, living with less insecurity. Insecurity feeds a lot of conflict. When we ground our worth in the Word we aren't as prey to the dangers of insecurity. Insecurity drives us toward competition with others rather than celebrating others. If we look for ways to bring peace into a situation and elevate others rather than win an argument, we'll live stronger, healthier, happier lives. 

7) Favorite bible verse and why 

So many! 1 John 3:1 - See what great love the Father has lavished on us - that we should be called children of God." When we live loved, we can love others. 

8) Share with us your new bible study coming out! 

Fearless, Ordinary Women of the Bible who Dared to do Extraordinary Things - launches October 1st! They can pre-order today at angeladonadio.com and purchase at their favorite retailer on October 1st! 6-session Bible study designed to help us find our fearless as we discover what happens when uncommon faith has an unexpected encounter with an extraordinary God. Whether you're longing to realize your purpose, fighting for a God-given cause, or kicking fear to the curb, these women of the Bible will help us stop the cycle of comparison and overcome the barriers to fearless living.

This episode is diving into an open heart surgery season God is doing in Chelsey. No matter where we're at in our walks with The Lord there are always things of our flesh that need wrestled out of us. This episode will encourage you to sit with Jesus, get in His Word, and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal what's going on inside. 

Seen and Unseen Sin

• There are sins we are blind to in ourselves but God will do what it takes to rip them out of us.
• God's word tells us to TURN away from evil. (Proverbs 3:7)
• But then follows right after with what replacing the sin with His calls on our life will give us. Healing and refreshment. (Proverbs 3:8)

Question Marks

• God doesn't leave us with question marks so we can try to "figure things out" on our own in our flesh.
• God gives us His word and direction to give us what to do next.
• We in our flesh cannot remove sin. It is our Heavenly Father who is able to convict, remove,  and restore. 

Obedience and Promptings

• When He gives us prompts through the Holy Spirit. He's inviting us to make the choice of obedience. 
• We get the opportunity to say, "Yes Lord!, I will follow you, I will fight for my faith."

Episode 37 digs into the hard things that our world tells us it's fine to overlook and walk away from, but God calls us to more. There is freedom found in working through the hard seasons, the hard sin issues, and the hard parts of God's word.

Proverbs 2:1-17

Hebrew for attentive and inclining - LISTENING & LEAN

Hard Seasons and Teachable Moments

Fight For Your Faith

Peter Denies Jesus

Courage In Christ and Faith In The Work He's Doing

The Best Challenge

Learning to love and learning to lead takes a look into Chelsey and Corey's marriage. They continued to find themselves in hard seasons of marriage due to both of these things. If Corey didn't lead Chelsey, she didn't want to love him. If Chelsey didn't love Corey he wrestled with the desire to lead her. Over the last 6 months of being challenged and convicted by the spirit this episode takes you into the redemptive gift they've found in their marriage. A heart willing to love regardless of how one is leading and a heart willing to lead regardless of how the other is loving.

Learning to LOVE

Guard the GIFT of MARRIAGE

Wives - our man isn't called to be our savior

Learning to LEAD

**Mens Group and Having Accountability **

Fixer Tendency

One of the things I really want to tell the wives is, you probably wont be the one to lead your husband back to Christ. It's hard but you need to pray for a heart willing to ask Jesus to bring someone into his life that can. There are some things wives can push their husbands to but faith doesn't seem to be an area that is well recieved. -Corey