Living With Less Podcast

This week I sit down with Pam Lozano to talk about Raising Godly Women in a World that Teaches Otherwise. Pam is not only a girl mom but has served as a youth pastor with her husband for 23 years. Her wisdom and desire to lead girls to walking in purity in every facet of life is so needed and such a blessing to hear. You will leave this conversation feeling encouraged to parent your girls from a place of full reliance on The Lord, equipped with resources to walk them through God's truth, and met by another mom who has walked the road before you. 

 1) Tell us about you!

-My name is Pam Lozano. I am passionate about mentoring and empowering next generation women with truth. Truth that God created them uniquely and adores them just the way they are. That He has a specific purpose and plan for their lives and if they pursue that plan, they will be fulfilled in ways they cannot imagine!  I am a mom of three grown children - a 23 year old daughter, Caeilen and two sons - Judah is 19 and Markus is 13. I love writing, leading worship, decorating, taking long walks and enjoying a Starbucks peppermint hot chocolate over a long chat with a friend. 

  2)  I loved getting to sit down with my friend Shanda Fulbright to talk about raising Godly men in a world that teaches otherwise and now I’m just as excited to sit down and talk with you about raising Godly women in a world that teaches otherwise. So I first wanted to start with this: the world deems masculinity in men as a bad thing and then in the very same breath they deem femininity in women as weak. We see secular feminism which is built on earthly strength, hardened independence, and a  “trailblazer” attitude. This is sweeping young women off their feet and into a life that doesn’t fit God’s desires. 

   As a mom of girls how have you trained up your daughters to know what God says about them regardless of what culture teaches? What negative effects have you seen happen to our women through this culture? 

-Caeilen is now 23 and grew up with us in youth ministry throughout her teen years. I tried to always instill that what God says about her trumps everything culture teaches. That His word is truth and the only thing we can anchor our hearts and emotions to. That no matter who said what - she is unconditionally loved by God for who she is - HIS daughter. And that she doesn't have to do anything to earn God's love. 

There are so many negative effects from what culture teaches our daughters. Culture portrays beauty as stick-thin, air-brushed models of perfection. Anything less is unacceptable and less than. This generation of women compares themselves to the women on the covers of Cosmo or Teen Vogue, forgetting that these altered images aren't truth. 
These photographs are photoshopped, cropped and filtered to create an unrealistic image to be idolized and sought after. This results however, in demoralized women who hate themselves and their bodies because perfection cannot be achieved. They often then fall into self-destructive behaviors when they realize they can never attain this level of beauty.

   3) I love your ministry Pure Design. I’d love to unpack that a little bit. How do you share purity with your girls? What have those conversations looked like over the years.
   -Pure Design exists to empower girls with truth and authenticity. Three main areas of impact are self-image, self-worth and pure beauty.
Purity is a big piece of what we talk about with young women, but it isn't the main focus.Desiring to walk in purity comes from a place of first loving God.When we love God, we want to please Him. But secondly, it comes from a place of VALUING ourselves and SEEING OURSELVES as God's treasured daughters - so deeply loved and valued by Him that we KNOW what we are worth.When we know our worth, we take pride in ourselves and THAT keeps us desiring to please and honor God.

-I go more in depth in this in my new devotional - Purity's Still in Style - there's an entire week on sexual purity - but there's 2 pages called Why Wait that I believe gives a great Biblical overview and perspective.
My message / conversation has changed over the years... I've really moved away from any type of Do's and Don't's list or any fear tactics.
The BEST motivating factor is love - when we love God, we want to obey and please Him.

   4) How have you and your husband tackled hard issues/conversations together in regards to leading your daughter and pointing her to living out what God desires for her life? 
Well let me say, we haven't always done it right. We made our fair share of mistakes in conversations...In fact, my biggest mistakes were made when I parented out of fear - being afraid she might mess up or make a mistake... rather than trusting and empowering her to make right choices. There's a different underlying factor - and as believers we are called to parent and lead from a place of faith.

-It hasn't always been easy... we've walked through some difficult seasons with Caeilen. But the key word is WITH. We stuck by her side and loved her no matter what. There were times when we didn't see eye to eye when it came to boys, but we talked it through, sometimes more than talked... but we stayed committed to the relationship and God has really seen us through... We always strived to keep communication open between us. We were involved in her life and asked a lot of questions - probably more than she ever liked. And today we have a great relationship, one where she includes us and asks our opinion on things way more than she did in the past. We love working together and growing and developing Pure Design Ministries & Magazine as a team.

   5) I know you and your husband have done youth ministry for years. I know there is a mom listening to this episode who has kids in the “youth group” age. What is the best wisdom you’d share with them in regards to   pointing them to Jesus? (Devotionals/one on one time/less busy schedule)

-Yes, Jake and I have been Youth & Young Adult Pastors for 23 years.
Best wisdom - is get your kids to church... YES, MAKE them go!
I hear so often parents say - I don't want to make them go to Youth Group if they don't want to - yet in every other area of life we "make them" do things they don't want to... We make them go to the doctor, we make them go to the dentist, we make them eat their vegetables... why in the world then wouldn't we MAKE them do something that we know is spiritually good for them. I know there are many reasons teens don't want to go - they don’t know anyone, the music isn't their style, they don't love the Youth Pastor, but let me ask you this - if you think your kid MIGHT have a chance to encounter God and have a chance to grow spiritually - don't you think it's worth encouraging them to get over themselves and just go!?

My husband challenged a young man over 20 years ago to get back into youth group and really TRY - and within months, this teen was the strongest leader, who would pray, preach and lead the group in ways we couldn't have imagined. It all came from a challenge to get over the uncomfortable and simply say yes and show up. To this day, this man is a strong Christian leader.

   6) Something that I’ve seen play out over time in our culture is the attack on how God created a woman. I think of what God’s word says about His daughters. He uses them in mighty ways yet talks about them with a sense delicacy. The world wants to create harsh women, but God created women to be - skillful, tender, refined, delicate, loved, wise, discerning, trustworthy, honorable just to name a few from scripture. We don’t want harsh women, we want Godly women. I don’t want to be known as Chelsey - the harsh one. I want to be known as Chelsey - the woman that loved the Lord. 

-As a mom how have you tackled this? How have you taught your girls to seek these things above the things of this world? We talk a lot about this very topic in our brand new issue of Pure Design Magazine - Fierce Femininity. I truly believe just like a coin - there are two very powerful sides to every woman. I think God did create us to be fierce and powerful. If you are a mom - you know creating a life inside of you, growing that life, nurturing it and then bringing that child into the world - takes some grit and determination and fierceness. God desires kingdom minded women who are powerful, resourceful, skillful and able to do what He has gifted them to do from a place of securely knowing they are His daughters. You see as Daughters of the King - we have the rights and authority of God's kingdom. Just as a princess or queen would on the earth.
-But, that doesn't mean we have to "lord it over men"... he did create us to reflect his beauty, grace, tenderness and  so many other amazing traits that are usually found in the beautiful gift of femininity. You see in Genesis - God called Adam AND Eve to have dominion over the earth - as equal partners. So we don't have to fight for position or importance. It was granted to us in the garden. We simply have to be secure in knowing who we are.

7) The Living With Less podcast was birthed from John 3:30, He must increase, I must decrease. If someone asked you what they needed to begin living with less of in regards to what gets in the way of Him what would you tell them and why?

Honestly, I believe this answer is the same and yet different for every single person. Firstly, we must live with less of ANYTHING that gets in the way of our relationship with God. The greatest command is to love the Lord your God with ALL your heart, soul, mind and strength.
Anything else is less than ALL... So anything that creates a barrier from our relationship with God has to go - whether that's food, money, relationships, alcohol, whatever... we have to let go, so God gets more.
But the items or issues for each one of us are very different depending on our history, our weaknesses and our tendencies. So it really takes listening to the voice of the Holy Spirit and walking in obedience every single day.

Connect with Pam here! 

Pam Lozano is the Founder & President of Pure Design Ministries & Magazine. She is a speaker of topics on faith, self-image, self-worth and purity. Pam has been a Youth & Young Adult Pastor for over twenty years. She is passionate about mentoring young women to identify and pursue their dreams and to live whole-heartedly for Christ.  Pam has written two devotionals for teen and young adult women on self-image and purity. Pam leads Pure Design with her daughter Caeilen, who oversees social media and is the Fashion & Style Editor of Pure Design Magazine. You can find more information about or follow Pure Design at:

Website: www.puredesigngirl.com

-Instagram: @PureDesignGirl

-Facebook: @Pure DesignGirl

-Twitter @PureDesignTeen

- For moms of teen daughters: Private FB Group – Pure Design Mom2Mom

This week I sit down with Shanda Fulbright as we dive into the topic of Raising Godly Men in A World That Teaches Otherwise. Shanda shares about how she and her husband navigate conversations with their sons from a biblical perspective. She points us to why we must teach our boys to be men of God because someone else will teach them otherwise. She reminds us to teach our boys what The Word says about what He calls them to: to lead, protect, and grow in their relationship with Him (to name a few.)

*Next week I will be sitting down with Pam Lozano to talk about Raising Godly Women in a World That Teaches Otherwise.*

1) Tell us about you!

• I am happily married to my husband o 19 years and together we have 3 boys: 17, 15, and 10. We live in the Central Valley in Ca. I am an ordained minster with the COG as well as a credentialed teacher. I felt the Lord leading me out of the church and into a new way of ministering and I started blogging 2 years ago. Last year I started a podcast called Her Faith Inspires where I really combat cultural Christianity with the Word of God. I currently teach online Bible studies and am hosting my first “How to study the Bible like a scholar class” which I anticipate being a repeat. 

2) As a mom of boys - lets start with this - how have you seen culture attack our young boys, who become young men, who become grown men. What scriptures do you use to combat these lies from culture. 

• This is a great question because I just heard this week that the American Psychology Association came out with an article that says that masculinity is harmful. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing so I went and read the article and sure enough, they are teaching psychologists how to treat men to suppress their masculinity. 
• Feminism is another movement that has demoralized and put down men with the sole purpose of elevating women. 
• We are currently hearing the message that the roles of men and women are interchangeable. We hear the message from Disney that girls are independent and strong and don’t need a man. It’s all about girl power, and while that message in isolation may not be a bad thing, it is always congruent with the message that boys have to suppress their masculinity. Our culture doesn’t celebrate manly traits. 
• It’s clear in God’s word that God made a distinction in the male and female creation and I always go back to Genesis 1-3 with this argument, although it is in the new testament as well. I wrote a study called Reflections of Eve and I explain in depth the male and female roles. God gave the man specific jobs and duties and when the man fell short of this, God came looking for him to give an answer. God will never reverse or the mix the roles of the male and female. Society and culture may try but it won’t work because this is outside of God’s design. 

3) I loved the episode you did with your husband about the attack on men (episode 25). How do you and your husband lead your boys in biblical truth?

• This is one I am big on as a parent. My first job is to teach inside my home. I will not gain the world and lose the opportunity to pour into the souls of my boys. With that said, we have devotionals and talk to them about God all of the time. I am currently teaching them apologetics curriculum because they go to a public school and are BOMBARDED with ideologies that conflict with biblical truth.I have taught them creeds by Voddie Bauchum to defend biblical truth and the scripture that goes with it. It is imperative that our kids know what they believe and why because I tell my boys all the time that faith is often tested … it’s truth and the quest for truth that stands. When one of my boys admits that they are struggling or doubting, I don’t fret. Truth sets us free and I know that’s what they want. Only God can reveal it to them, but I make sure they get it. I also encourage my older two to read their own bibles because they need to develop this disciple and relationship with the Lord on their own. There aren’t too many bible studies that are deep in spiritual truth so I just teach them from my own bible and we talk often about how to contend for the faith. 

4) Tell everyone about your #boymom bible study! How has being a mom of boys grown your faith? What things have you learned about the heart of God that you wouldn’t otherwise?

• I wrote #Boymom because the Bible is full of them. Every man in the Bible has a mother who influenced their relationships with God and the call God plead on their lives. So, I took 8 moms in the Bible, even ones who made hellacious mistakes because we all do and we can learn from them, and I wrote this study for all of the boy moms like me who are running alongside our boys and cheering them on even when the world does not. 
• I wanted girls. I cried when I found out I was having boy #1 and then boy #2. But God showed me several things: 
•  He knows what we need more than we do. 
•  He has called me to be an advocate for good men. I will not allow the world to brand my boys before they have a chance to become men. 
• The call of a son is entangled in his mother. What I mean by that is Sampson’s mom had to commit to the Nazirite vow while he was in her womb. She had to make the commitment follow the Lord before her son ever did. Our call as a mother is so important and it is the highest call we will ever have. The corporate ladder, education or anything else pales in comparison to the impact a mother makes in the lives of her children. 
• What I’ve learned about God:  He loves my boys more than I do.  He teaches me through them. When I see their hurts, their joys, their fears, I realize through glimpse  the relationship the Father has with me. 

5) Something I see often is this attack on men to suppress the gifts God has given them.  As you train up your boys are there specific things you talk with them about in regards to what God calls them to be as follower of Christ?

• From the time my boys were very little I told them they are men of God. They will choose an occupation, become a husband and fathers one day, but first and foremost they are men of God. I tell them the kinds of things I pray of them: that they will grow in wisdom, stature and favor with God and man. I tell them they don’t have to have it all figured out because God knows the path they should take and will guide them. I tell them all the time that they need to have their own relationship with God and they have to come to the knowledge of the truth on their own. 
• I tell them what I see they can be in Christ when they’re defeated. I remind them of God’s truth when they get fearful because this world bogs them down too. I speak truth into them all the time and teach them to call on the Lord with their own heart and mouth. 

6) Something my husband and I often talk about is the lack of responsibility the current americanized christian movement has led men into. They don’t have much in the way of accountability to lead their families, share what God’s doing, and speak up on behalf of the gospel. I don’t believe its because they are weak - I believe its because they’ve not been taught. Can you share with those tuning in what God does command of our men and that it is different than what He commands of women women.

• God gave Adam the responsibility to tend and keep his home. To keep means to guard in Hebrew. Men are the watchmen of their homes. 
• When I wrote #Boymom, I realized that God has asked men to do hard things.
•  Paul wrote the chain of command in the word: God, Christ, husband, wife. 
• The man will answer to God for the way he leads his family and home. As women, we must also remember that the husband is the only one in the relationship commanded by God to love his wife like Christ loves the church and to give himself up for her. That is the highest example of love we have. 
• So, as a mother, I have to teach my boys their responsibility according to God’s word, AND allow him to do this when the time comes. That is also the call of a #Boymom … to let him leave me and cling to her. 

7) The podcast was birthed from John 3:30, “He must increase, I must decrease”. If someone asked you what they needed to begin living with less of in regards to this what would you tell them and why? 

• I would say more of Jesus means less of the world. We are bombarded with ideologies and information and it can bog us down and we carry these things around like baggage. The truth of God’s word sets us free and when we fill up on Him, those things fall away. As Christians, we must learn to read, pray and study the word of God. We must cling to it and fill out minds with it. More of Him means less of the world and that is the best way to live. 

8) What is one of your fav bible verses and why!

• 1 Cor 9:27 partly because I do crossfit and partly because I teach the word. “I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should, So that after preaching to others, I myself may not be disqualified."

This week I sit down with my friend and host of the Home and Hearth podcast, Rebekah Hargraves to talk about the lies moms believe and how the gospel refutes them. Rebekah shares about how the Word is what equips us for the work God has called us to, how the enemy always uses extremes, and why we must always turn to The Lord before answers from the world.

Rebekah is also the author of 4 books. Lies Moms Believe, Lies Moms Believe companion Bible Study, Advent Devotional, and co-authored Walking by The Spirit. 

1) Tell us about you!!

• My name is Rebekah Hargraves, and I have been married to my husband, Owen, for 6 years. We live just outside Chattanooga, TN and have two kiddos, Anna (5) and James (3). As for church, we attend Concord Baptist here in town, which describes itself as a "gospel-centered, gospel-shaped congregation", which I love. I'm a work-at-home mom, so I stay at home with my kids but also blog, do freelance writing, podcast, homeschool, and am the author of 4 books and coauthor of 1, soon to be 2, books. My first book was Lies Moms Believe (and how the Gospel Refutes Them), and the second was Lies Moms Believe: The Companion Bible Study. I then wrote an Advent devotional study for women in 2018, co-authored a book on walking by the Spirit that released this January, a Lent devotional study for women that released this spring, and I'm currently working on co-authoring a book on friendship that will release this fall.

2) I’ve been looking so forward to this conversation because I am a momma who has definitely believed lies spoken to me from others or straight from the enemy himself. Can you share why and how this message became so important to you to share with other women?

• Absolutely! The funny thing is that this was not my original book idea. The original idea (which is one that I have in the works to go the traditional publishing route with, up to this point I have done all self-publishing) was on the topic of the mommy wars. But one day I had this "random" idea (that, looking back, was clearly God!) to write a little blog post addressing a few lies moms commonly believe and the gospel truth which refutes them. I had every intention of just writing about a handful of the lies I myself have dealt with, imagining that if I have battled them, surely other moms have, too. Well, instead, I had another "random" thought right before I sat down to work on that blog post - I had the idea of instead of just relying on my own thoughts and experiences, to instead take to IG and FB to ask fellow mamas what some of the most common lies were that they found themselves believing. That way the blog post could be as relevant and applicable as possible. I was only expecting maybe a handful of answers, but what ended up happening was that within the first 10 minutes of making that post, tons of responses came flooding in. At that moment I knew this area of lies we're believing as moms was a huge issue that did need to be addressed. At that point I thought I would then create a short little freebie ebook instead of a blog post, as the list of lies had now grown beyond what a blog post could handle. By the time all was said and done, however, and I had received all the input from various women on social media, I ended up with 32 lies to address and a full-length paperback book that is over 250 pages long! I never set out on my own to write this book and it was never my initial project or idea - it was all God! But I'm so grateful His plans were different and bigger than my own, because, honestly, the Lord has used this book and the process of writing it to change my own heart and life and to free me from lies I didn't even know I had been believing!

3) 1 John 4:18 tells us - His perfect love drives out fear. For me, fear is a huge lie I’ve taken the bait from in motherhood. Fearful of the world my son will grow up in, fearful of something happening to him, or just little fears throughout the day that seem normal. How would you lovingly challenge someone like me, with God’s word to move past the fear and cling to God’s truth that He has everything under control. 

• I can totally understand that! Especially after the insane year we have all been experiencing. From the moment my first child was born, I had fears set in about whether or not I was doing the best job possible, making the best choices, what life would hold for her, how I would protect her from the darkness in the world, etc. While sometimes those fears do again try to rise to the surface, there is something I have found to be incredibly helpful, and that is to know the character of God. That is so, so key for me. I have to know that not only is God in control and sovereign, but that He is also wise, kind, loving, tender, gracious, caring, concerned for our wellbeing, and compassionate. If I can remember all that, then I can remember that He allow absolutely nothing to touch me or my children that He will not ultimately use for our good and His glory. Furthermore, I do not believe it is a coincidence that it has been said that there are 365 verses in the Bible addressing the topic of fear - one for each day of the year! The Lord knew we would battle fear (fear comes from the enemy and is one of the biggest ways he tries to get at us and our faith), so He provided truth and encouragement in His Word for how we can battle it. Studying, meditating on, and memorizing the Word is so key. And, finally, one particular story in the Bible that always helps me battle fear is the story of Joseph, found in Genesis.

4) What are some of the most common lies moms believe and why do you think they’ve become such a stumbling block in our lives?

• There are so many, but one interesting thing I have found is that many of them come in pairs of opposites - the enemy lies to us with extremes on both sides. For example, the lie that motherhood is a woman's highest calling is common, but so is the lie that motherhood is unimportant or worthless work. That lie can also be accompanied on the other side with the lies that we are to find our ultimate fulfillment and identity in being moms.
• But, beyond those, I would say that some of the most common are that mommy guilt is just something we have to live with, that we are bad moms, that our success as moms is tied to how our children turn out, and that theology isn't important for the daily work of mothering. All of these are tied directly to wrong understandings as to the truth and implications of the gospel. The enemy wants us to doubt Christ, so he will do anything he can to keep us from understanding and living out the gospel. And we have just fallen for it because we do not take the command to "take every thought captive" seriously.

5) What have been the lies you’ve struggled with the most?

• One of the big ones I have struggled with the most is the lie that my children would be better off with a different mom (and close behind that being the lies that I'm a bad mom, mommy guilt will always be something I just have to deal with, and that I have to be a perfect mom).

6) What has been the greatest blessing/teachable moment from being a mom and stepping out in faith to trust God and put the lies behind you?

• Two things instantly come to mind for me here. One is just the sheer freedom, joy, and lightness I feel now that I have intentionally chosen to take God at His Word and truly and fully believe - for me!- that I was never called to be a perfect mom, but rather to point my kids to the perfect Savior. That takes such a load off! I don't walk in guilt anymore. Sure, I am convicted, sure I apologize to my children and grieve that I have sinned in anger or what have you, but I am no longer buried under all that self-inflicted guilt and condemnation anymore, because I know the full truth of Romans 7 and 8. Which brings me to the second thing - a sweet story with my 3 year old at the time, my daughter, Anna.

7) Is there a way you would steward someone to see what lies they are believing?

• One key thing here is to be a student of the Word. You won't know the lie, the counterfeit, until you know the truth, the real thing. Likewise, you can't take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ unless you know what the obedience of Christ is. I've done a Bible study 101 episode on my podcast for anyone interested in diving into that. But, beyond studying the Word in order to know truth for yourself, I would also say to pay attention to what your thought patterns are. Journal through that. Assess what it is that is filling your mind most often. When you are feeling down, anxious, depressed, stressed, or discouraged, take an assessment of your thoughts and intentionally stop to see what it is you really are thinking. Chances are, the thoughts leading to those negative feelings are lies you have been believing. Then take what you find to the Word and search for the truth that will combat those lies. Talk to your pastor if need be, use a concordance to find all the passages that speak to that topic, etc.
   

8) John 3:30, says  “He must increase and I must decrease.  If someone were to ask you what they needed to begin living with less of in regards to what gets in the way of The Lord in their life, what would you tell them and why?

• I would say live with less of the thoughts and opinions of man. Every human being is fallible, so every teacher, pastor, blogger, podcaster, social media influencer, commentary writer, parenting "expert", online guru, etc. is going to get it wrong at some point. You need to stop having google be your guide and start turning to the Word of God first and foremost as your ultimate guide. Sure, we can and should learn from our pastors, mentors, and others, but we have to know the Word of God first and foremost and follow it more than we do some self-proclaimed expert.

1) Tell us about you!

• I am from Pennsylvania originally from Ohio. I moved to Pennsylvania after getting married to my husband Jon! We met on eHarmony and commuted for 2 hrs each way until we got married and lived together. I love helping women find freedom from their part and healing in their bodies. 

2) I’ve been so eager to tackle this topic of doubt especially with you since you LOVE combating the lies with THE TRUTH! Doubt can look different for everyone BUT, I think we as Christians can all agree doubt begins to invade when we’re not fully trusting God. Even if we don’t mean too - it always goes back to that. When you’ve experienced doubt in your life - is there typically a commonality in each time you’ve walked through it? 

• We can see doubt form, first within ourselves and our capabilities. Whether we don't think we are capable of love or being loved, whether we feel qualified or not. The list can go on. We first experience the doubt at a surface level within ourselves. As we begin to dig deeper we can then confront the issues of our hearts which could lead us to not receiving Christ's love fully, doubting in our hearts what God is capable of doing (especially when we depend on our senses to tell the Gospel), or trusting that He will come through. I will typically add myself to the equation where only Jesus is supposed to stand.

3) These seasons of wrestling with questions or doubting where God has me have certainly taken me to deeper places and conversations with The Lord. What are some of the things you’ve learned about God and who He is as you’ve wrestled through these seasons as well? 

• Learning to discern the voice of the Father I believe is so crucial. Many people equate the way their earthly relationships and situation to be equal to the Father and how He would respond. The Father's voice is not harsh, does not rush, is not condemning, nor does it cause us to question who we are. 

4) This piggy backs on #3 - What places in scripture do you go to when you feel this creeping up? Whether it’s your own questions, doubting what God is doing in your life, or a full on attack from the enemy. 

• Some of my favorites are the scriptures that remind me that when I do things in the Kingdom, God's way, I don't labor in vain. 
• "Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." 1 Corinthians 15:58 NIV
   
• "Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; And confirm for us the work of our hands; Yes, confirm the work of our hands." Psalm 90:17 NASB
• "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:19 NIV
• This helps remind me it's not about the works as much as it is about my heart posture. God is the owner. We are the stewards. 

5) I always think of Eve in the garden when I dig into this topic. Because, as fallen people, I feel satan begins his attacks with the “what if” questions. From these what if’s come doubting God’s goodness. What would you say to a someone sitting across from you if they told you they were dealing with the enemy attacking them with “what if” questions. 

• To be true to myself, I would honestly ask a question back, "Who told you that you could XYZ?" They would insert their situation. Truth and lies is all about getting to the root of voice speaking. Our what if's can provide valuable feedback from all different angles but ultimately we have to decide if we are using excuses to not follow the call or if we are using these questions to take a closer look. With Eve, the question the serpent posed back was just slightly different than God's word.

6) Your ministry is all about removing the lies from our lives and replacing them with the truth of God’s word. When you hear a woman doubting what God has for them because it seems to good to be true, to far off to ever happen, or they think someone else is better suited for the assignment how do you encourage them and equip them with the truth. 

• Usually, it begins with what they are willing to confront. We can't renew what we are not aware of. With so many lies going around in our heads, the willingness to pick out one and focus on it to bring truth to it can be so critical in the healing journey. Since every situation is different I would begin to help them work through what they are experiencing, dig deeper into the lie to help them get to the root, so that you can move through it instead of it getting stuck within them. 
• You are not broke and damaged goods. Some parts can be messy or unsued but God is a kind Father to show you how to begin using them again. 

7) The Living With Less podcast was birthed from John 3:30, “He must increase, I must decrease.” If someone were to ask you what they needed begin living with less of in regards to these words spoken by John the Baptist what would you tell them and why?

• Less emotional reaction and more dependent on God's word. There are a lot of things I see and experience with my emotions. However, living by faith requires me to not deny my emotions but hold God's word above them.

Rise up & Build dives into the book of Nehemiah and looks at how well he sought, waited, moved, and discerned because of His deep relationship with The Lord. This book in the Bible teaches us what it means to wait on The Lord, trust His timing, discern distractions, and know our strength is rooted in Him alone.

Join Chelsey this week as she shares how God is stirring her through Nehemiah's story and how we all in Christ must be diligent as we walk with Him. 

Nehemiah's Diligence 

• Nehemiah 2:11-13 I went to Jerusalem, and after staying there three days I set out during the night with a few others. I had not told anyone what my God had put in my heart to do for Jerusalem. There were no mounts with me except the one I was riding on. By night I went out through the Valley Gate toward the Jackal Well and the Dung Gate, examining the walls of Jerusalem, which had been broken down, and its gates, which had been destroyed by fire.

Nehemiah Shares The Call 

• Nehemiah 2:17-18 Then I said to them, “You see the trouble we are in: Jerusalem lies in ruins, and its gates have been burned with fire. Come, let us rebuild the wall of Jerusalem, and we will no longer be in disgrace.” I also told them about the gracious hand of my God on me and what the king had said to me. They replied, “Let us start rebuilding.” So they began this good work.
• King Jehoshaphat's Prayer - 2 Chronicles 20:12 - O our God, will you not execute judgment on them? For we are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.”

Nehemiah Tells The People "Do not fear. Remember The Lord.."

• Nehemiah 4:14 After I looked things over, I stood up and said to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people, “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.”

Nehemiah Confronts the Distractions

• Nehemiah 6:8-9 I sent him this reply: “Nothing like what you are saying is happening; you are just making it up out of your head.”They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, “Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.” But I prayed, “Now strengthen my hands.”

What is our call?

• Pray + Seek The Lord
• Wait on His timing 
• Move when He commands!

This week Chelsey dives deeper into Psalm 73:28, "But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." The Lord revealed to Chelsey that these 3 commands are choices we have to make. We have to choose to be near to The Lord. We have to choose to make Him our refuge, and we are called to tell the world of His works.

The Lord made it clear to her that while He desires to be near her (He slways it), He desires to be her refuge, and He desires her to share of the amazing things He does...that it's her choice to be obedient in all 3 of these things.

What does Psalm 73:26 Call us to Do?
1. Be near to God! This doesn't change because of  circumstances, this should be a constant in all of our lives.
2. Make The Lord our refuge - we need to stop turning to earthly things to fill this void and create a false safety net. 
3. We are to tell of all His works. The Lord calls us to share the amazing things He does in our life (in His timing, not always right away) but to give examples to the world around us that The Lord is moving even in our days!

How Do we Live This Truth Out?
• Get in His word even when we don't feel like it. His word NEVER returns void (Isaiah 55:11). We grow nearer to The Lord by having a growing relationship with Him. 
• First we need to ask Him to reveal what things we turn to when we should be turning to Him. Repent of not turning to Him, receive His forgiveness and choose Him daily as your refuge!!
• Share what God is doing in your life with someone! It can be family, a neighbor, a friend, your barista at Sbux, just SAHRE HIM and what He's doing in your life with anyone that will listen, it will always bless them! (Remember Isaiah 55:11).

Q & A 

1. How do you handle being friends with non-believers? 
◦ Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all times. - The Lord will call me into relationship with people who love Him and those who don't know Him. He calls me to love them and how them the hands and feet of Jesus. There are friendships I've had for years where they are not walking with Jesus but they fully respect my faith and what's important to me. 
◦ Proverbs 11:14 - Where there is no guidance a peoples fall. - God calls us to walk in wisdom so if you're finding yourself feeling tempted within friendships who don't respect you, your faith, cause you to stumble due to their lack of guidance this is where we have to lean into the Holy Spirit and ask The Lord what to do with these friendships.

2. What are you favorite stories in the Bible?
◦ I love 2 Chronicles 20 - King Jehoshaphat's pleas with The Lord when He is facing something he doesn't know what to do with is such a testament to how we feel when we cry out to God in the same way. His words in vs. 12 are, "For we are powerless against this great horde coming against us, for we don't know what to do but our eyes are fixed on you. 
◦ Habakkuk - this short book is a powerful one. It gives great perspective on God working in the midst of things we don't understand as well as us seeing we are able to go to God with all of our feelings and trust that He hears us. 
◦ John 4 - The Woman at The Well - This was the first story in the Bible that opened my heart to fully accepting the truth that Jesus loves me regardless of what my past sin was. I am redeemed in Him and I'm filled with joy to speak of the redemption He's worked out in my life.  

3. Do you think social media is a distraction or blessing? How do you balance screen time when you find yourself with lots of time on your hands?
◦ I think it can be both a blessing and distraction. The Lord gave me Matthew 6:19-25 last year when working through discontentment. This is what I use to keep my social media time as a blessing. When it begins to cause me to feel tripped up by my emotions or falling into feeling of discontentment I know I need to take a break and get my heart back aligned in what God wants to use this for. 
◦ For balancing screen time, I don't get this perfect but one thing that has worked is all apps on my phone are locked until 9AM. I also set a time limit for the day on IG at 40min a day. (this is the only form of SM I have). So setting limits and alarms are helpful! The Lord gave us boundaries for a reason so we certainly need them in all areas of our life.

This week Chelsey shares about God's command for us to seek Him for all understanding. As culture seems to be driven more and more by people's feelings and emotions, Chelsey shares that we are called to continually seek The Lord for direction. We see that as we seek understanding from The Lord and desire to know His heart more deeply we won't so easily be tripped up by our feelings and emotions. And, we'll be able to love and serve others the way Christ calls us - through His grace and mercy.

What happens when we don't seek for understanding from The Lord?:

• Hearts become depleted and overly emotional.
• Lives become ran by feelings.
• Decisions are made based off of what the flesh desires.
• Psalm 119:1-8,  Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord! 2 Blessed are those who keep his testimonies, who seek him with their whole heart, 3 who also do no wrong, but walk in his ways! 4 You have commanded your precepts to be kept diligently. 5 Oh that my ways may be steadfast in keeping your statutes! 6 Then I shall not be put to shame,having my eyes fixed on all your commandments. 7 I will praise you with an upright heart, when I learn your righteous rules. 8 I will keep your statutes;  do not utterly forsake me!

As we seek understanding in Christ pulls us away from the world, the lies of the enemy, and desires of the flesh.:

• As we lean into The Lord we will be drawn closer to Him and His truth.
• Psalm 119:29-32, 29 Put false ways far from me and graciously teach me your law! 30 I have chosen the way of faithfulness; I set your rules before me. 31 I cling to your testimonies, O Lord; let me not be put to shame! 32 I will run in the way of your commandments when you enlarge my heart!

As we seek understanding from The Lord, He will always lead us in His truth.:

• The Lord will always lead us in truth and the Holy Spirit points us in the direction of clarity.
• James 4:7-8, 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.

The Dawning of Indestructible Joy

• By John Piper
• Advent Devotional

His Immeasurably More Bible Study:

• Bible study kicks off this Sunday, September 6th!
• If you still need to register head to ChelseyDeMatteis.com and you'll find the registration on the homepage.

Summer of Sisterhood Series Writers:

• Mandy Johnson - @mandycjohnson
• Elle Cardel - @daughterofdelight
• Alysha Miller - @themarriageproject & @alysha.miller
• Kristen White - @kristen.white
• Rebekah Hargraves - @rebekahhargraves
• Kendra Schwarz - @kendraschwarz
• Shanté Grossett - @herstyleoftea
• Bailey DeHaven - @my.holistic.heart
• Nichole Godsil - @nlgodsil
• Racahel Adams - @rachaeladamsauthor

Thank you to all who have left a rating and review! It means the world to me to hear the way God has used this space in your walk with Him. Thank you for sharing your heart, it has blessed me. 

This week Chelsey dives into the call of Sharing The Truth after last week's episode was on knowing the truth. She unpacks 2 Timothy 2:1-13 and digs into what we are called to do as we share the truth that sets us free. 

2 Timothy 2:1-13

• 2 You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus, 2 and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men,who will be able to teach others also. 3 Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. 4 No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him.5 An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. 6 It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops.7 Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything. 8 Remember Jesus Christ, risen from the dead, the offspring of David, as preached in my gospel, 9 for which I am suffering, bound with chains as a criminal. But the word of God is not bound! 10 Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. 11 The saying is trustworthy, for: If we have died with him, we will also live with him; 12 if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; 13 if we are faithless, he remains faithful— for he cannot deny himself.

James 1:5-6 

• 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

Sharing The Truth:

• Teach others the truth we've been entrusted with.
• Share in suffering.
• Do not get caught up in fleshly issues.
• Ask for understanding.
• Know the word is not bound but living and active.
• Endure all things for the sake of others coming to know Him.

This week Chelsey shares why we must know God's Word, stand firm in hardship, lean in when the Holy Spirit prompts, and be attentive to all the places God plants us.

As followers of Christ we are seeing more and more people give into the comforts of complacency, fear of man, and the twisting of the Word of God. Today, we look at what Paul lays out for us in 2 Timothy 4:2-5 on the things that will happen in this world and what we are called to as Christians.

2 Timothy 4:2-5

• 2 preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching. 3 For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, 4 and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths. 5 As for you, always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.

What will people say that are misleading?

• "It says _____ in the Bible". Yet the cannot give you any scripture reference.
• "God said _______." But, cannot tell you where or context of what their words mean,
• "I read ____ in the Bible and felt ____ so it means ____." They speak from their feelings and call it truth. They go by their feelings and NOT what God's Word says/means.

The breakdown of 2 Timothy 4:5

• Keep your head in all situations - Christians are not exempt from conversations that happen in the world. We are called to engage and share. Vs 2. says to reprove, rebuke, exhort with patience and teaching.
• Endure Hardships - 2 Tim 3:12, all who desire to live a Godly life in Christ will be persecuted. Persecution is promised.  Now, what we see happening in cultural Christianity are people claiming to live for Christ, yet they sidestep the truths about Him that cause persecution. 
• Do the work of an evangelist - keep sharing the good news and don't shy away from the conversations God places you in!
• Fulfill your ministry - Keep doing what God has called you to do. Allow Him to lead you, teach you, and sanctify you no matter what it looks like in a particular season. Hebrews 12:3, "Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted." This reminds us of what Christ endured. We find our strength and endurance in Christ! 

The Gate is Narrow - Matthew 7:13-14

• 13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.
• Seek Him - seek the narrow gate, the hard way that leads to life.

His Immeasurably More Bible Study

• Sign up at ChelseyDeMatteis.com 
• Study kicks off September 6th!
• All details can be found on ChelseyDeMatteis.com homepage!

THANK YOU DONORS

• Thank you to everyone who has supported the ministry. It means more than you can imagine and is a tremendous blessing to the ministry. 

This week is diving deeper in last week's topic of conviction and  sanctification. Chelsey shares her heart on the truth that conviction is a gift from God. It's His heart pursuing us on display. She shares from Psalm 119:71-72 where it shares that affliction is good and causes us to lean into God's word, commands, and desires for our life.

Psalm 119:71-72 

• It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I might learn your statutes. The law of your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces.

4 week online bible study His Immeasurably More info:

• Registration opens August 17th at ChelseyDeMatteis.com
• Study kicks off the first Sunday of September 
• All resources and links will be sent to your email each week!