Living With Less Podcast

This week Chelsey shares how God began peeling back the layers on a sin issue that has been a long time growing in her heart. He landed her in Psalm 115 and showed her what it looks like for people to want God's glory displayed through all who know Him and trust in however He makes it happen.

Psalm 115:1, 9-18

• 1: Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!
• 9-18: O Israel,trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield. O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield. You who fear the Lord, trust in the Lord! He is their help and their shield. The Lord has remembered us; he will bless us; he will bless the house of Israel; he will bless the house of Aaron; he will bless those who fear the Lord, both the small and the great. May the Lord give you increase, you and your children! May you be blessed by the Lord, who made heaven and earth! The heavens are the Lord's heavens, but the earth he has given to the children of man. The dead do not praise the Lord,  nor do any who go down into silence. But we will bless the Lord  from this time forth and forevermore, Praise the Lord!

What We Learn Here

• The author shows that they were completely OK with however God chose to display His glory and whoever He chose to do so through. 
• They trusted God's best and provision.
• God's glory is about God, not me. 
• We can rest in His eternal promises/blessings - provision, protection, help, mercy, grace, eternal life. 
• Someone else's blessings don't negate God's goodness in your life. 
• Their blessings don't change God's plans for you!

What We Need To Do:

• Stay in step with The Spirit (Galatian 5:25)
• Repent of the jealousy, pride, fear, and eagerness to get ahead! 
• Ask God to help us see where this is rooted in our lives.
• Cheer on those who are in the same space as you! 
• Celebrate God using others to reach people on behalf of His kingdom!

This week Chelsey shares her heart on the power of Godly community and prayer intersecting. For some people, it takes really hard, scary things to make them reach out vulnerably for prayer, while for others asking for prayer comes so naturally. This week Chelsey shares a few stories and places in scripture that have shown her on a deeper level why we need community and why we need those people praying for us.

This week is a short, deep, raw episode. Chelsey's sharing a prayer she wrote to The Lord while in this season of navigating life with a seemingly constant weary heart. Weary of missing people, weary of wanting God to end this, and weary of missing our normals. Her prayer is this short episode will meet your heart in a tender way and most importantly point you to Him. 

Prayer:

How long O’Lord? I know these words are very familiar to you. They’ve been muttered, whispered, and screamed at you. Our hearts are aching for normalcy and connection. Our hearts yearn for the day this is over and past us.

Lord, I am not alone and I know that. You make it so evident you are with me. In this time where we are physically distant from others, I pray we all feel a deep sense of your presence.

God, my heart in some ways has turned to stone. Lord - remove it. I pray Ezekiel 36:26-27 over me and anyone listening. And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit within you, and cause you to walk in my statutes and be careful to obey my rules.

Lord, remind us you are outside of time. You don’t ask us to control the next second before us. You just ask us to trust you. To stand firm. To await the eternal glory you have called us to. 1 Peter 5:10.

Jesus wipe mud on my blind eyes so that I see you when I look at my circumstance. As my earthly heart shatters from its lack of control remind me that even in my sin-filled flesh you love me. You died for me so I can live for you.

Help me, love where you have me. Help me wake up every day grateful for another opportunity to grow closer to you and help me rest peacefully knowing you see me.

God, bind the enemy and shut his condescending mouth. Remind us that his head has been trampled. Help us to speak your truth out loud as he tries to defeat us in our thoughts.

You’re in charge. You’re on the throne. YOU’RE THE ONLY ANSWER. 

I ask this all in Jesus’s mighty, powerful, redeeming name. Amen. 

This week I was honored to sit down with Alicia Bruxvoort for a refreshing, honest, and God led conversation about motherhood. As a mom of 5 herself she has walked out many of the seasons you and I are currently walking through. Her heart for moms to know The Lord and make time for Him in their middle minutes completely shines through during this entire conversation. I cannot wait for you to hear it!

**Giveaway Details at the end of the show notes!**

1) Tell us about the wonderful you! (Where you live, church, writer/speaker, family, etc.)

• I’m a writer and speaker and abundant life seeker. I’m a sunset chaser, a carpooler, and a storyteller. I am a member of Proverbs 31 Ministries’ writing team, so I have the privilege of reaching over a million readers around the globe each month with hope from God’s word. Best of all, I’m a mom and a wife. five kids ranging in ages from 11-21 with our sixth child coming home through adoption sometime in the year ahead. I’ve been married for 26 years to the cute boy who sat behind me in the fifth grade. Rob and I have 5 kids ranging in ages from 11-21, and we’re in the process of bringing our sixth child home through adoption.  We live in Holland, Michigan. 

2) When I met you at She Speaks and sat in the Motherhood meets Ministry session I loved your raw honesty about the blessings, beauty, and challenge within the gift motherhood. Can you share how The Lord used a crayon box to restore your colors of contentment.

• When I was just two and a half  years into my journey of motherhood, I finally admitted that there was a huge gap between what I’d expected motherhood to be and the reality I was living. It was harder. Lonelier. More draining and demanding than I ever could have imagined. When I’d imagined life as a mom, I’d pictured this colorful season of joy and abundance, but with two little ones 2 and under,  I just felt empty----and disappointed.
• So, one day, as I was cleaning up after my toddler had sat in his high chair and colored (for 2 minutes at the most)--I crawled under the kitchen table to pick up the splattering of crayons, and as I reached for the empty crayon box, I started to cry. And there under the kitchen table, I poured out all my disappointment to God. I picked up that empty box and told the Lord, “This is exactly how motherhood makes me feel…. So empty……”  After my rant, I put the crayons back in the box and began to crawl out from under the table, and a verse I’d memorized as a child in Sunday School rose out of the depths of my heart and ran through my mind. “I”ve come to give you life and give it to the full”-John 10:10. In the days ahead, the Lord began to assure me that I wasn’t created for an empty life--- and the life I was looking for was possible--- but it wasn’t my kids who would fill me or add the color to my days. He would…” In that decade, our family grew from 2 kids to five and God kept His promise to restore the colors of joy and contentment in my life. He showed me how to take hold of life that is really life,  to refuel my heart with His Word; to seize joy that couldn’t be wrecked by a toddler tantrum or a grocery store disaster, and how to thrive in the throes of motherhood instead of merely survive. 

3) When mom’s in any season are feeling discontent and wishing their life looked a little different, where would you send them in God’s Word to not only encourage them but equip them to trust where God has them?

• I love the stories in God’s word that remind me that God can do big things with our small offerings--
• God enabled David to kill Goliath with five small stones; He fed 5,000 people with a little boy’s small lunch, He changed the world forever with a small band of just 12 ordinary men, 
• So often motherhood feels like a mundane exercise in smallness-- and we start dreaming of doing something bigger than reading Dr. Suess over and over again  and washing faces and bottoms and floors a dozen times a day, and soothing silbing spats--- but in Zecharaiah 4:10, God says--- Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.”
• We have to remember that God’s measuring stick isn’t  like us. He doesn’t major our value by the “size” of our work our the accolades we receive.  God is pleased when we do small things with big love.

4) What are some of the best things God has taught you within motherhood?

• Oh, my! He’s taught me nearly all of my important lessons in the past two decades in the context of motherhood. 
• Significance and success are NOT the same thing.  
• It’s easy to grow blind to the gifts right in front of me--- gratitude opens our eyes.
• What we plant today determines what we will harvest tomorrow.
• Just because it’s small doesn’t mean its insignifcant
• If the enemy can’t defeat me, he’ll simply distract me. 
• Time is a sacred gift; I need to steward it well
• Joy is found in unlikely places
• Comparison is the quickest road to discontentment
• Presence trumps perfection every time.
• The color of motherhood often feels brown--monotonous and mundnane-- but --- ask any artist and she’ll tell you the way to make brown is by mixing RED, BLUE, and YELLOW.  When we learn to celebrate the beauty in the brown, our homes change; our hearts change; our perspectives change.
• Hurry steals joy.

5) What has been the best mothering advice you’ve received and if you remember who it was from can you share who told you!

• Pray for a passion for the present-----Ask God to give you a passion for the life you live right now, not the life you wish you had. --wisdom shared with me by a beautiful pastor’s wife, mom of four.

6) Spending time with The Lord in the midst of motherhood can feel like a challenge, but we’ve also began using that as a crutch. In your experience how would you help a mom who is trying to add this time to her life? Were there or are there any unlikely places you found/find yourself digging into God’s word that? 

• Examples: Laundry, Carpool line, doing dishes, wee hour of the morning. 
• Motherhood has made me desperate for Jesus.  And I’m so thankful for that desperation.I made a pact with God when I was up all night with my fourth baby with colic--- told Him I’d spend the night in His word if He’d keep  His promise and give me energy in the morning. I sat up every night with a fussy baby oin one hand and my Bible in another--- when I was too tired to open my eyes, I just listened to scripture. And God’s word began to be my lifeline. And 13 years later, He still hasn’t broken His promise.
• The simple truth is this-- In the end, we make time for the things that have captured our heart.  When all my kids were little, I asked Jesus to wreck me and to woo me with His love. As He answered that prayer, I would find myself grabbing ANY time I could get with Him-- I hauled out of bed in the dark before dawn to be with him before my kids woke up. I scheduled a coffee date with Jesus when my last one went to preschool and I finally had a few precious hours to myself-- refused to run errands or clean or do laundry-- just met Jesus with a cup of coffee and my Bible and journal once a week for a couple of hours. I would take my kids to a fastfood playland a few times a month and bring my Bible--- just sit there in the crazy chaos and soak up the Word.
• But often my best time with Jesus was with my kids on my lap just reading the Jesus Bible Storybook together. I can’t even count how many times I’d read that precious book aloud and start crying as God spoke to me through its simple words and it’s powerful pointing to Jesus.

7) The Living With Less Podcast is all about living with less of the things getting in the way of who Christ is calling us to be. If a mom or anyone asked you what they needed to begin living with less of in regards to this what would you tell them and why? 

• I think we need to eliminate hurry. Slow down. Look up instead of around. Become wonder-chasers---- watch more sunsets, jump in mudpuddles, laugh more. We have such a joyful and amazing God, but so often, we don’t pause to ENJOY Him or pay attention to His presence. Kids are natural wonder-chasers. Let them teach you how. Follow their lead. Kids are rarely in a hurry. We need to leave margin in our day to just savor the present and BE present.

Connect with Alicia here!: 

https://aliciabruxvoort.net

Mother's Day Giveaway Details

• There will be 2 winners selected on Mother's Day (5/10/2020)
• Winners will receive - 2 - 8X10 prints + In The Garden Book
• To enter please like the photo on the @livingwithlesspodcast IG page!

This week Chelsey shares a snippet of her life with the unexpected passing of a family member during a very unexpected time in history. God has shown her that while we don't know all things, we can't control all things, we can rest in the assurance of who does AND...the He faithfully prepares our hearts. 

The Psalm 138:8 Story:

• I felt God place this on my heart the morning of the day my uncle would pass. 
• I felt I was to share it with the young man installing our new garage door. Turned out his grandmother had just passed away the evening before in North Canton.
• As I ended the day, I got a call from my dad sharing the news that my uncle had passed away. He was around the same age as the younger mans grandmother AND he lived in North Canton. 
• I then remembered the verse and that I had written the date...I quickly realized while God used that for the young man in the morning, He was using that to prepare my heart for what was ahead. 
• Psalm 138:8 will forever be my Uncle Ralphie verse.

While We Don't Know All - We Know Who Does

• We can't know everything that will happen, which is why we deal with unexpected things every day, BUT we know who DOES and we can trust in that.
• God prepares our hearts are we seek Him. He points us to places in His word, lays verses on our hearts, and sends us gentle reminders of how much He loves us.

We CAN Control Our Obedience

• While we cannot control most of what goes on around us, we can control if we obey God.
• We can control if we turn to Him in the midst of hardship or victory.
• we can control making the time to be in His word.

This week Chelsey dives deeper into a very well known portion of scripture and shares how the message behind it is not to encourage us to work in our strength but it's an invitation to share in God's holiness. The race The Lord has set before us is His, not ours and hustle culture tries to sidestep that truth. You are not your own hero, Jesus is. 

Hebrews 12: 

• 1 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
• 10 - They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.
• 14 - Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
• 15 - See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

God's discipline vs Hustle Culture:

• God's discipline is out of his goodness and holiness. 
• God didn't design us to be the energizer bunnies.
• He designed us to need rest, he designed us to work within His will.
• Hustle culture is out of self motivation and pride in ones strength.
• Hustle culture is a lie - it tells us YOU CAN DO IT, YOU'RE YOUR OWN HERO.
• Hustle culture sidesteps God's grace and mercy. 

God's Call:

• His race he has set before us is an invitation to share in his holiness.
• Make every effort to be holy and that we don't miss the grace of God.
• Do not cause trouble or defile many.

1) Tell us about you! (Family, work, ministry, church, etc)

• I come from a large family in Oklahoma, married to husband Danny and live in OC - love our life group, community, church RHMV, and walks to the beach where our story started. 
• part time for AKB as the Trauma Trainer and Director of Organizational Health
• part time in private practice in Newport Beach serving children and families through counseling

2) Can you share about the mission of AKB?

• Activate Government, Business and Faith leaders to end the crisis for kids in foster care.

3) When did you feel called to start serving in this space and how did that feel when you first began?

• I had a heart for children for forever & the fatherless since about 10 years old
• Family’s foster/adopt journey + family mission trips seeing hurting people led me to study social work
• Masters program - clearly interested in working in foster/adopt world
• Felt difficult, beautiful, energizing, sad, overwhelming, and yet “right” for me

4) Something that I found really incredible about America’s Kid’s Belong is how it talks about the collective impact. I love that the Church is included in this. Can you share how the church can help make a lasting impact in regards to this organization?

• That is something I am pretty passionate about too!
• Church/Bride of Christ is the only thing that will last, most sustainable
• Only body of people with biblical mandate to care for & bring justice for & uphold the rights of the orphan/widow (James 1:27 & Psalm 82:3)
• Churches/Faith communities are everywhere- Over 300,000 churches in US- widespread
• Faith communities built for caring for people, supporting family, advocating for wholeness
• RESEARCH: Identify families in your church who are (or have) already fostering. Listen to them. Organize and recognize them as a key ministry team in the church.
• RETAIN: Support them with a “Wrap Around Ministry”
• RECRUIT: Host a “Belong” Sunday and a “Next Steps Event” to recruit new families.
• provide space (video shoots, visitations, meetings, child welfare events)
• host trainings (trauma, WRAP around, child welfare trainings, documentary showings like Resilience Film or REMOVED films)
• start foster care related ministry
• educate self & surrounding community on felt needs
• care for & love on local child welfare workers
• wrap around foster/adopt families
• provide parents night out
• teach/preach on current foster care related issues & needs

5) Can you share a little bit about the in’s and out’s of adoption here in America? What is the timeline, what ages have the hardest time with placements, and what does the need look like?

• U.S.Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Children’s Bureau  -- AdoptionandFosterCareAnalysisandReportingSystem
• https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/cb/afcarsreport26.pdf
• 125,422 kids WAITING TO BE ADOPTED (legally free)
• 262,956 kids ENTERED FOSTER CARE
• 437,283 kids IN FOSTER CARE
• 61,901 kids ADOPTED through foster care in 2019 report (25%)
• Home Study approval process anywhere from 3 - 6 months
• Age 12+ high risk for aging out

6) “It’s easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. – Frederick Douglass This quote nearly took my breath away. Is there a story that stands out in your memory of a time The Lord placed a child with a family and a miracle happened within their heart?

• Educate about and advocate for ALL three responses
• Upstream: Provide care for at risk families before child welfare is involved
• In the stream: Provide care for kids in care & foster families
• Downstream: Provide care for aged out youth
• We get to hear of teenagers and young adults in their 20’s being adopted
• Go upstream and catch them before 10 social wounds
• People need People! Stuff without people/relationships is a bandaid. 
• First few months of placement honeymoon, then grief/loss hit, then slow adjustment and steps toward healing

7) For someone listening that what’s to get involved with your organization, what can they do to help? Whether financially, prayerfully, or if they are interested in adoption?

• Pray
• Follow social media to stay up to date
• Wrap around families
• Learn/educate watch videos
• GIVE!!

8) The Living With Less Podcast was birthed from John 3:30, "He must increase, but I must decrease.” If someone approached you and asked what they needed to begin living with less of in regards to this what would you tell them and why? 

• What are you carrying that you don’t need to carry anymore?
• Our unresolved pain, loss, & shame prevents us from fully experiencing all that He is and desires for us in relationship with Him
• For Him to increase in our lives, our barriers to him must decrease
• Resolve those things through healthy community, counseling, support groups, reconciliation, and inviting Him to heal wounds.
• Connects to caring for those in pain - How can we lead the hurting to a place of healing if we have never been there ourselves?
• You can’t give a child what you have never received

1) Tell us about you!

My family and I relocated from Chicago to Charlotte, NC three years ago when I joined P31 and Lysa T’s team as Director of Theology and Research. My wife and I have been married over 10 years and we have three little boys under the age of 8 (Liam, Levi, and Lucas) and we are expecting our 4th, a baby girl any day now! In addition to serving at P31 I also serve my local church, Transformation Church on the preaching team with my Pastor Derwin L. Gray. 

2) I sat under one of your teachings at She Speaks 2019 and from that, I have so enjoyed following you on social media. I love the way you teach people how to not only read God’s word but you teach the importance of finding what it truly means in the contexts of the time it was written. So, that's where I want to start first with our conversation today. For those just getting their toes wet in the Bible, can you share a good place is to start when reading scripture? 

I think for anyone that just gets into the Bible they approach it like any book. You open the first page and start reading. But this gets real confusing real quick when you start in Genesis then you eventually hit Leviticus! I’d recommend starting in one of the Gospels. Personally, I love the Gospel of John and Acts. In the Old Testament, you can start with Genesis and Exodus or Judges. 

3) Now that we’ve talked about a good place to start what recourses would you point people to use to give a better understanding of what the text is actually saying! I think this is what trips a lot of people up, we think we know what it means because we look at it through the lens of 2020 and not 2,000 years ago.  

 I think the crucial first resource is a good study Bible. I love the ESV Study Bible. I also often turn to the Faithlife Study Bible that is free online via an App because of the many infographics and media images that helps us visualize the text and what is taking place. There are some great websites like BibleHub and BlueLetterBible that can get you access to some good commentaries.  

4) Now that we know where to start and what good recourses to use, I’d love for you to show us how to actually do this! How would you study John 3:30, “He must increase, but I must decrease”. 

Before I get into the text I want to be aware of the context:  Historical  Social Literary  I try to start by Bible Study process with these four steps:  Observation Interpretation Application Correlation 

5) Now I want to move onto something that stood out to me you spoke on this summer, I wish I could remember your words because they were much more eloquently put, but you shared on why we shouldn’t “cherry-pick” God’s word. At the end of 2019, there was a very controversial circumstance that had Christians feeling at odds with one another. One of the main reasons people felt unsettled was the way the topic was being supported was by one verse in scripture without using any surrounding text around it. Can you share why it’s important for us not to do this as well as why we need to be sure those leading us are looking beyond their views/feelings and actually teach what the word says/means? 

I’d love to start this conversation by briefly talking about Humble Theology. Its something that I’m really passionate about. I think when we approach the text we need to approach it from a posture of humility and when possible extend grace to others that are trying to work their way through the text the best they can. 

The main challenge and danger of cherry-picking verses is directly connected to a misrepresentation of the Scriptures and coming to conclusions (Interpretation and Application) that are not implicitly or explicitly in the text. When we cherry-pick verses to validate our agenda’s we get into a lot of danger because we are attempting to be masters over the text, and not be mastered by the text. 

6) I remember as a very new Christian I didn’t know how to read God’s word but I read it anyway and I believe God honors that pursuit of our hearts as we’re beginning a relationship with Him, but we can’t stay in that place forever. How can people be encouraged to grow from finding a verse that fits them that day to reading God’s word with a heart open to receive what He’s trying to teach us?  

I think this comes with dedication, repetition, and conviction.

•   Dedication - We need deep devotion when it comes to God’s Word. Without devotion and dedication we will never see progression in our spiritual formation 
• Repetitions - we need to create rhythms of Bible reading that creates routines that lead to spiritual maturity 
• Conviction - We need to approach the text with a conviction that this is the true and authoritative Word of God. 

7) Lukewarm faith, these are scary words for Christians. This is something stirring in my heart, and I think we all have a deep desire to live in a world with less lukewarm Christians. We as His kingdom kid’s have to get serious about what the call of a Christian really is. Most know what it means to accept Christ. But for whatever reason, it seems to stop after the honeymoon season. I think it stems from a few things: lack of community, lack of leadership, they either don’t know the word of God, or they feel intimidated by it.  What would you say to someone who feels intimidated by the Bible and how would you encourage them to step out of the shallow waters of lukewarm faith or keep pursuing Christ after the honeymoon phase?  

It is maybe helpful to understand where the phrase “Lukewarm” comes from. It’s been popularized by the passage in Revelation 3:16 - If you are Lukewarm you will be spit out. This language comes from the water systems that carried hot water through the Roman empire. But, if the water ran on the pipes too long it would become lukewarm and not useful for it’s intended purpose. 

Being Lukewarm seems to indicate a situation where you are stuck. I think you hit it when you talked about community and the lack of corporate engagement amongst the people of God. We are living in a culture that is increasingly pursuing autonomy and individuality. However, the Scriptures point not to individualism but a corporate gathering of believers - the Ekklesia or the church. I really think the local church is the key to this issue. 

 8) The Living With Less Podcast is all about living with less of the things getting in the way of who Christ is calling us to be. If someone asked you what they needed to begin living with less of in regards to this what would it be and why?

When I read this question I really just thought about myself. And I think that I need to live with less expectations of my own personal wants and desires and submit myself to the authority and kingship of Jesus. 

You can find Joel on Instagram at @muddamalle. There you will find so much information that can help you with your walk with The Lord.

This week's episode is one my heart needed and I pray it meets you in a tender way too. Let's Talk Friendship is exactly what Alysha Miller came on the show to do, talk all things friendship! 1) Why we need it. 2) How it's a call from The Lord. 3) How to stick it out when things get hard.

I don't know about you but recently my heart has felt weary so I pray you to find yourself listening to this episode feeling like you're one of our friends sitting at the table with us.

1) Tell us about you!

Alysha Miller lives in Southern California where she serves her local church in the 5-6th grade ministry and also is a full-time wedding photographer.

Being around a lot of couples stepping into marriage, in 2015, she felt the Lord move her heart to compassion for marriage as a whole and for those who were stepping into marriage without fully realizing what they were stepping into. She wanted to use the gift of photography the Lord had given her to shine a light on what marriage is, who defines it and answer questions from a biblical perspective pertaining to it. Who better than to ask then married couples who have traversed this path? Learn how ironically God would use a single girl to set out on a journey to get to the heart of His heart for marriage.

The project is a photography project turned podcast in hopes that interviewing couples with Christ at the center of their marriage can answer some of the harder questions yet ultimately, the objective has always been to glorify Christ through marriage as it points to our relationship with Him, Christ, and His church.

And help us realize, He is our first love.  Nothing will satisfy us, apart from Him.  No relationship, no person, no marriage was ever intended to take the place of Him in our hearts.

2) I’ve been so excited to sit down with you and talk all things friendship. Not only because of the one God has gifted in us but because of the way God has grown your faith through the strong friendships he’s given you. How have you seen The Lord use the strong biblically-centered friendships you have to keep you focused on Him? 

It would have been much easier to miss on Sunday or not stay committed to things had it not been for the girl's God has placed in my life.  It’s accountability but it’s more than accountability.  It’s love.  I want to show up, I want to see my friends! Church on Sundays is a place that has been built into a habit and I get to see my friends.

Love what Pastor Ed shared on Sunday, the LOVE of Christ that fills us. 1 John 4 — it’s His love, real love, for one another and when we have this in common and come together and hear what He’s doing in each other’s life, supporting each other in prayer, caring for the other, we’re showing His love for us to each other.

Prayer support is HUGE. They have carried out the ministry things I’ve done bc they’ve prayed over future plans with me, and have listened to my heart and dreams and listened intently. carry one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2)

It’s not one-sided, I do the same. One of my best friends, how we met, heart to heart across a couch and went on a prayer walk a few hours after meeting. The deepest friendships are formed there.

There’s just been heart to hearts and safe places to land my heart when it’s needed a place to confess, work through heart things.

Listening and being trustworthy, being someone friends can trust and come to with things they need to talk about. Good listeners, but it takes one to be one. Learning the art of listening, with your heart. That was a season God took me through, no always waiting to talk but just listening to understand.  I didn’t always need to get a word in. 

Cell phones face down on the table don’t count. Heart to heart, over a table, no phone out. Also, no gossiping or slandering.  That’s a hard one! I slip so much when it comes to speech and those are usually the more convicting verses for me reading about the power of the tongue,

James 4:11 “Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.” 

There are at least 32 verses about gossip according to Google and 27 pertaining to the tongue and maybe there’s an overlap on some, but that’s a lot!

My call as a friend is to be encouraging, building my friends up with my words and pointing THEM back to HIM and pray for them. They don’t need my opinion about other people. I need to repent of that when I mess up, (repenting pretty much daily) and ask the Lord to cleanse me from the hidden sins lurking in my heart and to keep me from the deliberate sins lurking there. Psalm 19:12-14 

The hidden sin is the word or impulsive blurb about somebody that comes out of my heart, the deliberate sin is knowing I don’t need to say that, chewing on it and saying it anyway.  I’ve been working with the Lord on this one, thinking ahead. Where will the conversation turn if I say this?  Then probably don’t need to say it.

3) Biblically speaking friendship is a call, we’re called to be in relationship with other believers.  What would you say to someone who gets caught up "taking back their yes?”

I used to be that girl.  I would flake, I would make commitments than decide to cancel last minute. And hey, I probably still do that every now and then. BUT in Christ, He has given me a different perspective.  TO be a good friend is to show up, even when I last minute feel tired or want to be an introvert. 

A loving Creator designed us to exist in a relationship with Him, with each other and with the rest of creation. Friendship is a good thing, a God thing.

Romans 12:10 Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. This is GOD’S HEART.

I have learned and am still learning how to use my yes’ more thoughtfully, not just gleefully excitedly saying YES to every invite and asserting my no’s when I’m being pulled a lot of different ways or no even when I want to say yes because it’s the responsible thing or I know the yes isn’t the thing God wants for me. 

Then I feel more purposeful in fulfilling the “yes’” and knowing there are blessings on the other side of that yes when the day comes around to meet up with said friends and maybe my feelings are telling me to stay home because it’d be more convenient for me.  Whenever I’ve followed through on my yes (and I pretty much will now with any YES unless I’m really sick or there’s rain or something out of my control happening) I am always SO glad I followed through because I would have missed out on SO much with that friend.  And it’s two-sided, I am filled up and so is she!

The devil is in those lying feelings to stay home, he wants to RIP US OFF of anything productive, fun, fruitful, enjoyable, edifying, good for us that’s going to build up the Body.

4) Personally speaking, I know it can be really hard to put myself out there ESPECIALLY with women my age. How have you learned to do this?

It started with bible study.  That’s where most of my friendships in the Lord have blossomed out of.  I’m blessed to be a part of a women’s bible study that is multi-generational, so we get to hear wisdom from someone more seasoned in life yet also been paired with women my age.  Our church is pretty intentional about that.  So within the safe parameters of studying the Word of God together and a group setting, we’ve gotten to know each other through speaking about life’s situations but with prayer and the Word of God around it.  Then it’s branched off from there and we already know some things about each other.

The branching out part though might take some going out of our comfort zones. Being the one to text and invite to coffee or lunch, and I think being the first to share things about me invites this person to share more about herself.  It can be an awkward thing if you make it that, but it also doesn’t have to be. 

But having the Lord in common makes girls I’ve literally just met feel like sisters, we have this immediate bond and it’s awesome!

5) Hardship in deep friendship is inevitable. Knowing your part of your story can you share the difference between allowing the Holy Spirit to work verses hashing it out in the flesh.

Yes! Sharing the iron sharpening iron thing, living together, and having an honest conversation about where we were disagreeing, how we hurt each other alone felt like we had done it in our strength because I walked away shaking and with nothing resolved.  We went in around and round circles and were just not understanding each other.

But we even talked about going our separate ways if it just couldn’t get better because we couldn’t keep living this way and we realized if that happened though it be like a divorce, other friends had connected through the two of us, and we didn’t make other friends have to choose between us the rest of their lives. But God!

I Didn’t text her going to church that Sunday, she came and sat next to me and the message was on the power of forgiveness and we just hugged after and it was gone. Without any words yet a Mediator and He just took it. 

We later realized what held us for that year and a half of bitterness and hurt feelings for each other had felt like a prison sentence….and I kid you not this is literally what I had said a couple years prior.  I had just got done reading a book called Captive in Iran (such a good book!) and the testimonies of these two women in jail together had me saying, “What if we went to jail for our faith together?” And we said, dang we felt like we had.

Mark and Paul (sent Mark away but then called Barnabas to bring Mark back to him as he was helpful in ministry 2 Tim 4:11

6) Living in a world of instant gratification it can feel hard to navigate “lasting” friendships. They seem uncommon and honestly, counter-cultural. What would you say to the person desiring deep relationships in our current fast pace, on the go, busy world?

Pray about it! My mom told that.  You can pray for a friend in the Lord! God will be happy to answer that. He’s answered it a hundredfold and in one on one’s, discussing the Word of God, praying together like I said and just being intentional in investing and listening and being genuinely interested in your friend’s life!

Also, because we live in a fast-paced, busy world, there needs to be much grace… I need to be less and less offendable.  If a friend doesn’t get right back to me through text, grace.  If you see her with another friend on Instagram and you feel left out grace.

Don’t just exit the friendship and start over.  Next time, just say OH ID LOVE TO JOIN YOU GIRLS NEXT TIME if that’s something you really would want.

7) The living with less podcast birthed from John 3:30 is all about living with less of the things getting in the way of who Christ is calling us to be. If someone asked you what they needed to begin living with less of in regards to this, what would you tell them and why?

I’d say, less of isolation, more community.  Do the thing you’re flesh is telling you not to do. Go to the Friday night study, sign up for the women’s bible study, say yes to the book club even if it’s not your favorite book, drive 30 mins out of your way to meet up to study alongside her.

Less shutting down, more opening up.  Be willing to share and be real with that friend.

Fewer friends who only like things you like, more sisters in Christ who may challenge you to do things you’d never do before.

Like run or indoor rock climb, go out on a limb and think less of self and more of others!

8) Can you share a small snippet of what The Marriage Project podcast is all about? 

Yes! The Marriage Project is an extension of my wedding photography business and an extension of God’s heart for marriage.  He’s led me to create a platform for Christian married couples to share their testimonies and to glorify Christ through the messier, harder parts of their stories and hopefully, in doing so, others can learn more about marriage, what it is, what God’s heart is for it and understand the weight of the calling marriage is. Hoping it can equip many!

That is scraping the surface, you can read more at www.themarriageproject.co or on Instagram @themarriageprojectco.

This week Chelsey dives deeper into Psalm 73:28, "But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord my refuge, that I may tell of all your works." The Lord revealed to Chelsey that these 3 commands are choices we have to make. We have to choose to be near to The Lord. We have to choose to make Him our refuge, and we are called to tell the world of His works.

The Lord made it clear to her that while He desires to be near her (He slways it), He desires to be her refuge, and He desires her to share of the amazing things He does...that it's her choice to be obedient in all 3 of these things.

What does Psalm 73:26 Call us to Do?

1. Be near to God! This doesn't change because of  circumstances, this should be a constant in all of our lives.
2. Make The Lord our refuge - we need to stop turning to earthly things to fill this void and create a false safety net. 
3. We are to tell of all His works. The Lord calls us to share the amazing things He does in our life (in His timing, not always right away) but to give examples to the world around us that The Lord is moving even in our days!

How Do we Live This Truth Out?

• Get in His word even when we don't feel like it. His word NEVER returns void (Isaiah 55:11). We grow nearer to The Lord by having a growing relationship with Him. 
• First we need to ask Him to reveal what things we turn to when we should be turning to Him. Repent of not turning to Him, receive His forgiveness and choose Him daily as your refuge!!
• Share what God is doing in your life with someone! It can be family, a neighbor, a friend, your barista at Sbux, just SAHRE HIM and what He's doing in your life with anyone that will listen, it will always bless them! (Remember Isaiah 55:11).

Q & A 

1. How do you handle being friends with non-believers? 
   • Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all times. - The Lord will call me into relationship with people who love Him and those who don't know Him. He calls me to love them and how them the hands and feet of Jesus. There are friendships I've had for years where they are not walking with Jesus but they fully respect my faith and what's important to me. 
   • Proverbs 11:14 - Where there is no guidance a peoples fall. - God calls us to walk in wisdom so if you're finding yourself feeling tempted within friendships who don't respect you, your faith, cause you to stumble due to their lack of guidance this is where we have to lean into the Holy Spirit and ask The Lord what to do with these friendships.
2. What are you favorite stories in the Bible?
   • I love 2 Chronicles 20 - King Jehoshaphat's pleas with The Lord when He is facing something he doesn't know what to do with is such a testament to how we feel when we cry out to God in the same way. His words in vs. 12 are, "For we are powerless against this great horde coming against us, for we don't know what to do but our eyes are fixed on you. 
   • Habakkuk - this short book is a powerful one. It gives great perspective on God working in the midst of things we don't understand as well as us seeing we are able to go to God with all of our feelings and trust that He hears us. 
   • John 4 - The Woman at The Well - This was the first story in the Bible that opened my heart to fully accepting the truth that Jesus loves me regardless of what my past sin was. I am redeemed in Him and I'm filled with joy to speak of the redemption He's worked out in my life.  
3. Do you think social media is a distraction or blessing? How do you balance screen time when you find yourself with lots of time on your hands?
   • I think it can be both a blessing and distraction. The Lord gave me Matthew 6:19-25 last year when working through discontentment. This is what I use to keep my social media time as a blessing. When it begins to cause me to feel tripped up by my emotions or falling into feeling of discontentment I know I need to take a break and get my heart back aligned in what God wants to use this for. 
   • For balancing screen time, I don't get this perfect but one thing that has worked is all apps on my phone are locked until 9AM. I also set a time limit for the day on IG at 40min a day. (this is the only form of SM I have). So setting limits and alarms are helpful! The Lord gave us boundaries for a reason so we certainly need them in all areas of our life.