Liz has won Columnist of the Year - which is a good thing, as she was planning to retire and live on benefits if she didn’t. She says that contrary to popular wisdom, it really isn’t the taking part that counts - it’s the winning, as her columns about extreme waxing, pedicures and the mysterious 'P' beat all the ones about Brexit, Covid and the climate crisis. Meanwhile, Liz has stepped  out in a size 46 ‘empathy suit’ to see what life is like for obese people - but some people REALLY aren’t happy about the photo shoot…

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Liz has been watching football - and Gareth Southgate's team have achieved the impossible and made Liz nostalgic for watching football with her husband. Liz is remembering her first editor’s letter at Marie Claire - and says that her column this week is going to shock people, as she finally learns to stop being anxious about not being good enough, and not having hair like Meghan, and makes peace with just being OK (and watching telly on her iPad).

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After Liz’s very disappointing date, she’s made a decision: men just don’t deserve her. So Liz and Nic have been distracting themselves with Love Island - Liz thinks we can all learn a lesson or two from the carefree contestants while Nic just likes looking at the ‘crumpet’. Plus, Liz looks back at the time her husband made her cry over coffee beans and Nic discovers Liz has gone viral on TikTok.

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It’s the fallout after Cambridge Man stood Liz up with no warning in central London - but having spent £500 on spa treatments and train tickets, Liz manages to find another date within 30 minutes (although it doesn’t exactly go to plan…) Meanwhile, Nic is remembering an old breakup (and Sinead O’Connor) - and Liz is having a flashback to the fitness-obsessed eighties, when she bought so much Lycra she had to cut up her credit card.

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Even by the standards of Liz’s tangled love life, this week is a bombshell, with Liz waiting in a restaurant for the Cambridge Man - when her phone buzzes, and it all goes wrong. With the Cambridge Man now rebranded as 'sat nav man', Liz wonders why disastrous men are always so expensive. Meanwhile, she reminisces (not coincidentally) about the time when she spent £23,000 booking a holiday on a tropical island - then split up with her husband on the first day.

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It’s been a colourful week: Nic has been riding a sheep backwards (‘How is the sheep?’, frets Liz) and Liz is dealing with a jellyfish attack (not the kind you find in the sea). Meanwhile, Liz is getting ready for her second date with the Cambridge man and hasn’t gone TOO over the top (she hasn’t even had Botox), and has picked a Soho House hotel, where all the biggest events in her life happen. But just at the crucial moment, her phone buzzes…

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Liz has been reading the final Fifty Shades of Grey book and wonders why women like it so much - Nic thinks it's because they crave a real man, but end up with overgrown teenagers like her boyfriend. And Liz looks back to the time her husband had one job, to book the airport transfer, and still couldn’t do it right. Plus a reader has some rather personal advice for Liz…

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Liz is making plans for a second date with the Cambridge man, and it’s all feeling a little bit like an audition (but is sex really just something you have to get over with, ‘like measles’?) Meanwhile, Liz and Nic are talking Friends - and Liz says that she watched the reunion... and just saw herself. Liz casts her mind back to the first row she ever had with her ex-husband - and remembers the worst celebrity interviewee she ever endured (Justin Bieber, aged 13).

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Liz’s date has said that he wants to kiss her… but only if she has her Covid jab. Is he being a bit bossy? Meanwhile, Nic has also been out for an evening in the real world (shame it was only for pints in the Black Lion). Liz is very keen to inform all listeners that her novel is finally available to buy in a bookshop - and Nic has a good guess which character she inspired: ‘Is it the fat one?’

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Liz has said something she hasn’t said in about twenty years - ‘I’ve met a man I like’ - but how will he feel about being written about? Liz promises he’ll get ‘good reviews unless he’s naughty’. Meanwhile, Liz and Nic are chatting about why it’s easier just to do everything, rather than leaving it to men who’ll only get it wrong - and Liz is reminiscing about the time she met Donald Trump and the CIA ended up blowing up her Yves Saint Laurent dress in case it was a bomb.

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