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This week on the podcast we welcome a very special guest: Ernie Coburn.
Ernie has been a leader and a source of wisdom around Southland for many years. He was there serving and leading alongside Wayne Smith, Mike Breaux, Jon Weece, and has continued being a part of leadership during our current transition to Scott Nickell stepping into this role in this very important season for Southland.
In this conversation, Scott and Ernie lay out a road map for faithfulness and integrity over the long haul in our walk with God, our marriages and how to finish strong.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Scott described Ernie with a lot of words, two of which were wise and old. Who comes to mind in your own life when you hear the description of wise and old?
Ernie described the changes our church has experienced over the past 30 years or so. When have you experienced change in church? What have you learned about how to do it well?
Ernie spoke about how he spends time reading the Bible and in Prayer. What wisdom did you learn from him in those areas of connecting with God?
"God is either your steering wheel or your spare tire" - Corrie Ten Boom. Which of those two roles would you say God is in your life?
Ernie shared wisdom from his 67 years-and-counting marriage. What were you encouraged by from the faithfulness to his wife that he discussed? Is there anything in your marriage that you need to fight for so you can reach "until death do us part"?
Read Romans 12:9-12. What does Paul say about evil/sin? Do you hate sin? How is that evident in your life?
We are always at the crossroads of obedience and sin? What do you need to do to better understand God's desire for our life and to live in obedience?
Read Titus 2:2. What is Paul saying here about finishing strong? Who is someone you know that finished their race of faith really well?
What do you think about dying? Is it something you consider often?
Take some time to think about what might be said of you at your funeral. If you could write a 1-2 sentence eulogy for yourself, what you hope will be said of you at your funeral, what would it be?
What can you do today that will help that eulogy become true?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What's God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
Join a Group at southland.church/groups
For any other questions or comments email [email protected]
Welcome back! This week on Locker Room our guest Jon Weece sits down with Scott to unpack 16 'Laws of Leadership' that should define us as we lead in our families, our workplace and ain our relationships. In this discussion we'll lean on scripture and talk about ways we can grow in these key areas.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Opening Questions:
Who were some of your favorite wrestlers back in the day?
Where have you been winning in your walk with Christ this week?
Jon's 16 Laws of Leadership
The Law of Love- Lead with Grace, Land with truth
The Law of Responsibility- Something doesn't have to be your fault to be your responsibility
The Law of Stewardship- Leave people and places in better shape than you found them.
The Law of Humility- Serve from the trench not the tower
The Law of Faith- Be a risk taker not a thrill seeker
The Law of Wisdom- Talk less, listen more
The Law of Friendship- Vulnerability unlocks intimacy
The Law of Maturity- Don't let compliments go to your head. Dont let criticism go to your heart
The Law of Gratitude- Unexpressed gratitude is a form of ingratitude
The Law of Foot Washing- Servants can do things that King's can't
The Law of Generosity- Generosity is not measured by how much we keep for ourselves but how much we give to others
The Law of Focus- Aim for health and growth will follow
The Law of Purity- Pursue holiness before sin instead of forgiveness after sin
The Law of Simplicity- Replace complexity with simplicity
The Law of Language- People who gossip to you will gossip about you
The Law of Encouragement- Words will either help people or hurt people
Read through some of Jon's laws of leadership again. What are 5 laws that really stick out to you?
How have you seen these laws play out in your life?
Law #1: Most men tend to lean one way or the other in regards to grace and truth. Which way do you lean? What steps can you take to better embody both?
Law #2: "When we look at the life of Jesus, sin was not his fault. Yet he willingly took the weight of sin upon himself." Is there anything going on in your life right now, that may or may not be your fault, but God's prompting you to move towards it and make it your responsibility?
Read Philippians 2:3-11
How does this passage reinforce the idea of serving from the trench, not the tower?
How does the life of Christ differ from the ideas that the world has about leadership?
What's one way you can "get in the trench" with people in your life right now?
Law #5
How can you tell the difference between faith-driven risk and reckless thrill-seeking?
What risks might God be asking you to take right now?
Law #6
Jon talked about older people in his life that are very wise and he talks about how they are all great listeners. Who in your life is a great listener? What do they do differently?
"Don't let compliments go to your head. Don't let criticism go to your heart."
Why do you think both compliments and criticism can be dangerous if we handle them wrong?
What's one way you can stay grounded no matter what people say about you?
Jon says that one of his goals is to grow in kindness and humility. He talks about steps that he is now taking to continue in growth.
How important is it to grow in these two aspects of your life?
Aim for health
Why do you think leaders often fall into the trap of focusing on growth before health?
In our own personal lives it's so easy to prioritize our "growth", before we prioritize our health. Have you ever prioritized growth before health? What did you learn as a result?
Replace complexity with simplicity
What are some complex things in your life that you can replace with simplicity?
"Words will either help people or hurt people." Why is it so important to keep control of what comes out of our mouths?
Is there a time when you said something that tore someone down when you could have said something that built someone up?
Overview Questions:
Which of these laws of leadership comes most naturally to you? Which one feels hardest? Why?
How do these laws challenge the way the world usually defines leadership?
Was there anything else spoke to you about the podcast?
What was a big take-away for you?
Key texts:
John 1:17 (NIV) For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 5:21 (NIV) 21 God made Him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.
Hebrews 11:1 (NLT) Faith shows the reality of what we hope for; it is the evidence of things we cannot see.
Matthew 20:28 (NIV) just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
1 Corinthians 10:13 (NIV) 13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Next Steps
Sign up for Locker Room Groups at southland.church/groups
Sign up for Fight Club at our Nicholasville Campus starting on September 8th at https://southland.church/announcements/nic-fight-club
If you or someone you know is getting married soon or has been married for 5 years or less sign up for our 2-Day Marriage Workshop: Fall 2025 that will be on September 19/20 at https://southlandchristian.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/2486551
For any other questions or comments email [email protected]
Welcome back! We're kicking off this season with a series called Lead! Leadership is crucial to every family, sports team, company, institution and organization! Everything sinks or swims because of leadership or the lack thereof. In this episode we will look at three steps we can all take to elevate leadership in our daily lives: studying the blueprint Jesus laid out for us, learning to take responsibility to carry heavy things, and walking a path for others to follow.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Get to know you questions:
Name three things about yourself.
Share why you jumped into a Locker Room Group.
"We have a man problem." God has put a high calling on us as men to lead and when we don't, it has a dramatic impact on everything around us.
What are some ways that you see this "man problem" in our world, or for you personally?
Scott said, "Everyone ends up somewhere, but few people end up somewhere on purpose." How can you be more intentional and deliberate about leading yourself so you can better lead those around you to better follow in the example of Christ?
Follow the Leader. Hatfield gave us three practical ways that we can do that:
#1 Study the Blueprint. If we're going to follow our leader, we have to see how Jesus led.
How does getting in God's Word and studying the gospels help us become better men?
What steps can you take to better engage with the living Word of God?
#2 Carry heavy things. God has entrusted men with responsibility.
Scott mentioned things like stewarding his creation, using our gifts to build up the church, spiritual leadership in our families, the gospel and its commission, and walking out the calling that God's given us.
What are some of the responsibilities God has entrusted us as men with?
Scott said, "Men are like trucks, they run better with a heavy load." Why are we better men when we embrace Godly responsibility?
What are some responsibilities you have put down that you need to pick up?
#3 Walk a Path for Others to Follow.
Who are some Godly people who have invested in your life and whose examples you have learned from?
Who are the people you are trying to be an example to? What are you doing to invest in those relationships? How are you feeling challenged?
Three key passages that challenge men about the importance of the path:
Luke 9:23 (NIV) Then he said to them all: "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.
1 Corinthians 11:1 (NIV) Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.
1 Corinthians 16:13 (ESV) Be watchful; stand firm in the faith; act like men; be strong.
Application:
Which of those passages challenge you the most and why?
What's your take-away from this first episode?
What step is the Holy Spirit challenging you to take?
Next Steps:
Season 14 has been a great one for Locker Room. There have been so many stories of men and encouragement we can apply daily in our fight. This week on the podcast, Ian Schweitzer joins Scott to reflect on all we've learned in this season together.
—
We want to challenge you to ask this question over the next several months in your quiet time: Jesus/Holy Spirit: What's my next step as a Christ-follower, husband, dad or kingdom worker?
The book Scott referred to in this episode is Tempered Resilience by Tod Bolsinger.
NEXT STEPS
The live version of Fight Club—the men's group Scott leads—will be at our Nicholasville Campus in August 2025. If you've not jumped in with us, or know someone who needs to—get the word out. We'll have Fight Club on the Groups Directory at the end of July or early August so you can sign up. If you want to be a Table Leader at Fight Club who invests in the men, shoot an email to Scott at [email protected].
Before we sign off for this season we ask our Locker Room family to be praying for unity and protection in this year of transition at Southland (Weece to Nickell). Pray for Jon Weece, Scott Nickell, and their families, our Eldership, our staff and our church. There's nothing the enemy would love to do more than attack us in the midst of this transition. Southland has been a remarkable place where we have had God's favor. Locker Room, we want to keep it that way. Let's pray for unity, fight for unity and seek to guard and protect the mission and character of our church.
Thanks for listening. Keep fighting! Keep leading! Keep investing!
We'll catch you next time in August for season 15 of Locker Room.
Most of us know a family member, a friend, a co-worker, or someone we went to school with that is in a battle with some kind of addiction. The truth is, it may be you, reading this now. Maybe you've never acknowledged it. Maybe you've lived in denial about the daily struggle that you're experiencing. Regardless of how this subject has impacted you, we hope that you're encouraged in our conversation today.
Our guest this week is Mike Mueller. Mike is a husband, father and coach in our community who has been a part of Southland for 13 years.
On this episode Mike shares the story of how God changed his life and is now using him to impact lots of people who have struggled with some of the same things.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Have you ever coached at the youth sports level? What is your favorite story from coaching kids?
Mike has served in several areas in the church (Connections, security, small groups, Men's Retreat). What areas have you served in? If you don't currently serve, what areas of ministry would you be best suited for?
Scott talks about how even if we don't have the big name vices, most people have an addiction to something. What do you find yourself going back to time and time again despite the negative consequences? What are you addicted to?
Mike describes himself as a functional alcoholic. He did so much to cover up his addiction. Have you experienced this yourself or with someone you know? Why is this so dangerous?
Scott & Mike discussed the beauty of Rock Bottom. It's the pivot point, it's your opportunity to change, and to meet God. Have you ever had a Rock Bottom moment? What did God teach you there? What changed about you?
Read James 4:8-10. What does this passage teach us about how we deal with sin? What do you need to take from this passage to utilize in your own life?
Read Luke 9:23-24. What do you need to deny yourself of to follow Jesus? What are you still holding onto that's keeping you from full life in Jesus?
Read Psalm 40:1-10. What does it look like to be fully authentic in front of God and others? Do you have a place to share the good, the bad, and the ugly of your story? For those who have shared their story, what was that experience like? How did God use that to grow you?
We want men to experience freedom. Is there something you are hiding and need to reveal to somebody? Will you confess it in this group? If not, will you email [email protected] and let us connect you to somebody to confess to?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What's God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
Visit the AA meetings that happen at our church:
NIC Campus Thursday 6-8pm
LEX Campus Tuesday 6-8pm
GEO Campus Tuesday 7-8pm.
Join a Group at southland.church/groups
For any other questions or comments email [email protected]
"I need you to know that God seems to throw me hard things. You just need to know what you're getting into." - Kailen Combs Taylor
This week on Locker Room our guest Bryan Taylor sits down with Scott to share a powerful story of love, loss and hope. Bryan and Kailen shared five years together before they were separated by her death from cancer in 2015.
In our conversation today, Bryan shares about navigating the grief that began with Kailen's diagnosis and what life was like after she passed away. Bryan also shares how he was able to move forward, choosing hope and rediscovering life after such a profound loss.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
If you had to give a title to the last 9 months of your life, what would it be and why?
"War" is the title of the story that Bryan labeled such a hard period of his life. Has there been a time in your life that looking back you would label as "war?"
In grief you often don't know what to say, and sometimes people say things that aren't helpful. What is something someone has said to you that was helpful in a moment of grief?
Read Hebrews 2:17. Jesus was fully human. He knew exactly what it was like to have to navigate grief and feel the weight of life being thrown at him. Jesus understands what it is like to experience loss, because he experienced loss during his life. When you're navigating grief, is it easy for you to run to Jesus? Why or why not?
Scott and Bryan talked about how the physical act of writing and journaling has been helpful as they navigated grief. When you listen to the concept of writing and journaling, what does that make you think? Is it something you are open to trying?
Read Isaiah 55:8-9. How does choosing to accept the truth of these verses help us to navigate grief by putting it in the proper perspective?
"It's not the load that breaks you down; but the way you carry it." What are some healthy ways we can choose to carry the circumstances life throws our way that won't break us down?
Read Romans 8:35-39. The promise we can hold onto is that there is absolutely nothing in all creation that can separate us from the love of God that is in Jesus Christ.
Of the three insights Bryan gave at the end of the podcast, which one is hardest for you to hold onto when navigating hard times?
(1) No amount of agony is enough to dim Christ's love for you.
(2) If you make your pain available to God, he won't waste it.
(3) Hold onto the hope of the resurrection.
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What's God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RESOURCES
Even if You Don't: A Love Story - Bryan Taylor
The Lazarus Within: How to Choose Hope & Rediscover Your Life After Loss - Bryan Taylor
A Grief Observed - C.S. Lewis
Breaking Chains: Navigating Grief, with Gary Black - A Locker Room Podcast - February 28, 2025.
The Time We are Given, with James Rutledge - A Locker Room Podcast - March 22, 2021.
NEXT STEPS
Memorize Romans 8:38-39.
Join a Grief Share Group at southland.church/groups
For any other questions or comments email [email protected]
Providential relationships and pivotal circumstances are critical parts of great stories. Providential relationships are significant people God orchestrates to guide, support and shape our faith journey. Pivotal circumstances are events—both good and bad—that mark us, shape us and become a critical part of our story and testimonies.
Our guest this week—Daniel Mitchell—has lived a life marked by many providential relationships and events. Daniel joined the U.S. Marine Corps at age seventeen, landing in Tactical Air Navigation and later becoming a SERE instructor, also serving as a Chaplain.
Daniel and his wife Angela met while serving together at Southland's Lexington campus. Daniel now runs a handyman business/ministry and is also a counselor specializing in PTSD and sexual assault.
Jump in with us this week as we hear Daniel's story, pivotal moments in his life and how, with God's help, hope can drive out despair.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
If you could have any accent besides your own what would it be? (British, Western, Boston, etc.)
What is your favorite military movie of all time?
Daniel shared a miracle healing story from when he was 5 years old. Have you ever witnessed or experienced a miracle? Will you share that story?
"God has the best detours." Daniel shared how God detoured his night of drinking to experience God's love in a church. What detours has God placed in your life that showed you His grace and goodness?
Take 5 minutes or so for everyone to write down those 8-10 pivotal circumstances (good and bad) that have marked and changed your life. Does writing it down help you see how God was moving throughout your mountains and valleys?
Who have been the providential relationships that have guided, supported, & shaped your faith journey? Will you reach out to them and express gratitude for them? Will you look for opportunities to be that person for others around you?
"Where there is hope, despair doesn't live." Did you get a bit of joy or hope out of Daniel's dog park story? Where do you find hope? In what ways can you manufacture hope if you don't have any resources right now
Read Acts 9:15-16, 2 Corinthians 11:23-29, & 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. What can we learn from the suffering of Paul, how he handled it & how God handled it? What suffering or weakness do you need to bring to Jesus so He can be sufficient for you?
Read Romans 8:28 & 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. How can you cling to the promises God has made to us even in the darkest of time?
"Where you stare is where you will steer." What have you been staring at (focusing, dwelling on) in your life? Does where you stare need to change?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What's God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
Join a Group at southland.church/groups
For any other questions or comments email [email protected]
For most men, the key to our future and the quality of their life is in direct proportion with how we engage our past. We have to move towards our wounds in order to find healing. Regardless of our earthly father/step dad/absent dad, we need our good Heavenly Father to begin the work of healing us by fixing our past.
Our guest this week is no stranger to a challenging past. Brian and Scott sit down at the table to share from his life story of being put up for adoption and growing up in a tough family, but then allowing Jesus and godly people to help by acknowledging his wounds and finding healing. We'll also dive into investing in our marriages, being an intentional dad, and expanding the circle through mentoring and discipling others.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Brian takes the first 5 minutes of the episode to brag about his wife. It is so important to verbally express the things that you love about your wife. What are 2-3 things you are grateful for related to your significant other? Be sure to also express those feelings to them this week.
Brian mentions that despite everything that has happened in his life, he is a victor through Jesus, not a victim of the enemy. What have been the times in your life where you have felt like you were a victim of the enemy instead of being a victor through Christ? How has God been faithful through those times?
Scott and Brian take some time to talk through their relationship with their wives and kids and a word that summarizes their conversation well is intentionality. As men, we have to intentionally fight for what is most important. What are some ways you have been intentional in your relationships and what are some ways that you need to be more intentional?
Love for Jesus overflows into your love for your wife, which then overflows into your love for your kids. It has to be in that order. Do you find yourself prioritizing your kids over your wife? Do you find yourself prioritizing your wife over Jesus? What can we do to prioritize the right relationships so that we can best serve those we are about?
Read Ephesians 5:1-2. Think through some people who have made a strong impact on your life. Who is someone in your sphere right now that is doing what you want to be doing? Make a plan to talk to them this week to learn from them and to hear their story.
What are the areas in your life that you feel like you have to be perfect? Don't put a burden on yourself that Jesus hasn't placed on you. You don't need to be perfect, because Jesus is perfect.
Read 1 Thessalonians 5:11. One of the best ways that we can love people as Jesus loves them is by speaking encouragement. Who is someone in your life that you can serve by encouraging them? It could be your wife, one of your kids, a co-worker, someone in your small group. Shoot them a text or give them a call and see how the Holy Spirit will move.
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What's God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
Join a Group at southland.church/groups
Join a Serving Team at southland.church/volunteer
For any other questions or comments email [email protected]
Today's episode is big topic in this Breaking Chains series: Navigating Grief. It's not called overcoming grief, it's not called conquering grief or dismantling grief, because—like it or not—grief is part of the story. You have to go through it. It's not good for us to avoid it or go around it. Grief is universal.
Join us In this episode as Scott and Gary walk through many different types of profound loss we may experience in life, including stories from their own experiences. Along the way, we will find wisdom and hope in God's word on how to move forward.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
Grief is a heavy topic so let's start with a light question: Can you remember the time you laughed the hardest? (Or one of the times you've laughed the hardest?) Share the story with the group.
How do you define grief? The podcast defines grief as feelings of great sorrow, distress and emotional pain that stems from significant loss. What significant losses have you grieved in life?
The 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, & Acceptance. When you look back on your times of grief are these stages evident?
Gary's 5 emotions connected to grief: Profound sadness, guilt, fear, physical fallout/symptoms, & aimlessness. Which of these emotions have you experienced the most in your times of grief?
Scott's 7 things to help navigate grief: Community, anticipate awkwardness, lean into your faith, support groups, grief counseling, anticipate and plan for "grief triggers", & grieve well. Which of those help you the most in times of grief?
"A good friend won't lecture, correct, or react to our insanity [in times of grief]." What does it look like to help others when they are dealing with grief?
The enemy will lie to us in our grief. Read 1 Peter 5:7 & Matthew 11:28-30. What do these passages say about God's heart for us during our grief?
Gary and Scott talked about grieving the loss of people to suicide. What from that discussion did you need to hear?
Read Revelation 21:4. Some grief will never go away on this side of Heaven. What hope can we place in this truth from Revelation about when Jesus returns?
"Please, don't turn the helpers away." - Paul David Tripp. Are you in need of help right now? Who can be your helper?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What's God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
RESOURCES
Suicide:
Hope Always, Matthew Sleeth, M.D.
Grief:
The View From a Hearse, Joe Bayly
Experiencing Grief, H. Norman Wright
Good Grief, Granger Westberg
It's OK That You're Not OK, Megan Divine
NEXT STEPS
Look at our Care resources for Grief Share, counseling referrals, and more at southland.church/care
Join a Group at southland.church/groups
For any other questions or comments email [email protected]
Our enemy understands the power of sin: the impact it can have on our lives and those we love. He knows if he can tempt, lie and deceive us into choosing sin—anything other than God's best—then he can send us down a path that can really destroy our lives as men and wreck the things that matter to God.
Guests Will Briggs and Matt Williams join us this week on the podcast as we look at how we can recognize the plays of the enemy, the temptations and tendencies in our own hearts, and move forward on God's path, breaking free of the chains of habitual sin.
DISCUSSION GUIDE
What are some of the daily habits in your life? Did these parts of your day become a habit intentionally or unintentionally?
What comes to mind when you think of the term "habitual sin." Is it a specific sin? It is a certain memory? Is it a particular feeling or emotion?
The guys talked about how no one chooses to just blow up their life one day, but that sin begins to creep into our lives in small ways. Sometimes just a "small" lie of asking for a water cup to fill up with a coke. These "small" sins are ways that the enemy can get a foothold into our lives and a foothold can easily become a stronghold where the enemy has control over our actions. What are the "small" sins that the enemy is attempting to use to pull you away from Jesus?
Share a time when you struggled with habitual sin and the freedom you now have. What is a habitual sin that you struggle with right now? Celebrate the victory and acknowledge the struggle now.
Read Romans 6:5-7. When it comes to habitual sin, what do you believe is true? The enemy tries to convince us that we will always struggle with this and that we will never be truly free. But followers of Jesus are promised that they have everything they need to overcome this sin. Who are you listening to?
The guys mention 5 keys to overcoming habitual sin. Which of these keys have you overlooked in your struggle with habitual sin that you need to implement?
Practice confession and repentance daily (Hebrews 4:16 & James 5:16).
Ask God for help through prayer (Psalm 121:1-2).
When we become a Christ-follower, sin is no longer our master (Romans 6:6-7 & Romans 6:22).
God's Word gives us the promise of God's help in the face of temptation (1 Corinthians 10:12-13).
We leverage the Holy Spirit in our lives (Galatians 5:24-25).
"You can't heal from what you hide." The Bible teaches us that we do not have to hide in our sin and our shame but we can confidently come to God in our sin so that we may receive mercy and find grace. Is there a specific habitual sin that you need to confess to God and to another follower of Jesus?
What else from the podcast spoke to you?
What did God/Holy Spirit speak/prompt/say to you? What's God asking you to do? What does He want to give you? What does He want you to lay down?
NEXT STEPS
Take 45 minutes this week to read through and reflect on Romans 6. Bring a journal and a pen and sit with the Holy Spirit as you reflect on the truth of Scripture.
Join a Group at southland.church/groups
For any other questions or comments email [email protected]
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