Locker Room Power

Why you need to be a good parent to yourself

Why is it important to be good to yourself especially when competing?

When you understand how much easier it is to boost your confidence when you are kinder to yourself, then it becomes easier to be a good parent to yourself in the heat of the battle.

Think about it - how well do children respond if you shout at them whenever they make a mistake, or keep telling them that they are useless?

Yet as adults we somehow think it will help us succeed if we treat ourselves like s*&^, that somehow, we will respond better and be more motivated by insults than kids?

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The power of mantras:

Good morning good afternoon good evening thanks once again for listening and I hope you enjoy today’s podcast. I’m not doing much to promote this podcast I would be grateful that if you enjoy it and get something out of it if you could please give us a shout out on any social media platform or leave a comment wherever is appropriate for you.

It’s amazing how you can calm your mind by thinking about things differently and creating helpfully mantras for yourself.

As an example when we experience a disruption in our life either beyond our control or one that we have created, we are forced into chaos whilst we try to make sense of what is happening, find a way to navigate a way out or need time to think how to respond to the event.

Normally we see chaos as something to avoid and as a negative but what if we had this mantra about chaos?

What if we saw chaos as simply a signal that we had more to learn or if we said to ourself - The leap into the unknown is usually where the treasure is buried?

How about - I thrive under pressure and in chaos. Unknown and new environments excite me and the pathway there is often thru chaos!

How about mantras about other subjects such as;
Money is my friend and comes often and easy.
Hard work is fun.
What are the facts without assumptions?
I calm myself quicker than most.

Whatever situation you struggle with or when you want to do well create a one line mantra that uplifts, inspires, grounds you or calms you every time you say it. Couple a good mantra with good posture and body language and I guarantee you will feel more positive and ready to take action.

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Today I’m going to talk about panic. Panic is normal and very common. It is something that everybody experiences if we caught unawares or really want to achieve something. Anyone can be put into a state of panic if suddenly overwhelmed or before a big match, presentation or any major event because suddenly we worry about the outcome and how we’re gonna perform.

Here are some simple techniques to help you overcome panic.

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Good morning, good day. Good evening, wherever in the world you are, this is David Sammel with another weekly nugget, having had two weeks with my wife in Greenwich, Connecticut, where my daughter Roxanne of @roxyfitblog and her family just moved to start a new life in America. It was a very hectic but pleasurable time helping look after my grandkids whilst they had small challenges like finding a house and buying cars and furniture etc.

I'm now back on the tour in Belgrade, which is an excellent tour stop for me, because a very good friend of mine, Igor Tomasevic, who worked with me in the Monte Carlo tennis academy lives. It gives us a chance each year to catch up, have a couple glasses of wine over a few dinners.

Belgrade is a really nice city. It has come on leaps and bounds since I first came visited many, many years ago. And, yeah, if you get a chance, visit this really vibrant city with its ever-evolving modern Waterfront now packed with restaurants, apartments and a fantastic Galleria Mall

Today I'm going to talk to you about the fact that everything takes longer than we think or want. I've worked with many players for several years, and they all have certain goals, some which are reached, not all of them, but almost always, results take longer than anyone would like.

When people build businesses or start big projects there are always delays in how fast things happen. It's very pleasurable when things happen earlier than you think they will but it's rare.

Anybody who has been involved in any major building project or building a business or working towards becoming a world class athlete, will all know very well that resilience is such a big part of the process, because inevitably the timescale with which things happen, is always so much longer than you would like it to be.

Even if you want to write an essay, or have any project to complete, basically overestimate the time it's going to take because even that is often an underestimate. If you are chasing a lofty long term goal where the ability to succeed is going to take huge effort and expertise, learning these things will take time, not only to put together, but also for us to truly understand it all in our own heads.

So often we think we know what we're getting into but once we get into it, we suddenly find that it's a lot more complex than we thought it was going to be. It can take us a lot longer to simplify it in our mind so that we truly understand what we're aiming for or exactly how we're going to get there. What I will say is this is the key is to know up front that this is probably gonna happen so when delays do happen, you don't get too frustrated. Equally to understand the process of, I suppose life, is the understanding that to do things properly, does take time.

There is no set formula for how long anything should take. You just got to get into it and keep going with it until something happens and takes you forward. This process goes on and on.

The key message is, whatever you're attempting to do, there's a damn good chance that it's going to take longer to achieve than you think it will, but hey, that's okay because that generally is life and dealing with new problems is normal. Very little in life happens just ultra ultra smoothly all the time from beginning to end. It is a joy when it does happen, and some days run beautifully well so cherish them always mindful that we need to take joy out of facing challenges as well.

Good luck and if this podcast can help you relish and enjoy the delays as part of an expected process then it has hit the mark. Speak to you again next week.

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Good morning, good day. Good afternoon, wherever you are, this is David Sammel. With a nother weekly nugget. I would just like to say that it's been a pleasure bringing you these nuggets. And I hope that those of you who do listen and download, these podcasts are enjoying them.

I would love some feedback as to what I could do differently what you'd like to hear about just absolutely anything. So David at mindset college.co.uk, or contact me on social media, Instagram, Twitter, whatever is your preferred way of contacting, but please engage with me.

Let me know your thoughts.

Anyway, without any more meandering. I'm going to talk today about what happens behind the curtain. What I mean by this, well, this is basically where all the work takes place. So if there's a theatre production, or you see, you know, players on a centre court or your favourite team out on the pitch, that is Showtime, and it's a place where people have to perform, and hopefully perform well and give the fans spectators a fantastic experience of expertise, and competitiveness, and all the drama that goes along with sport or theatre or anything where there's a performance involved. But naturally, when you sit and watch these razzmatazz events, what you don't see is what happens behind the curtain, all the work, the preparation, the sweat, and tears that go into putting together any kind of production or performance.

But what I will say is, if the attitude is right with the individual, what goes on behind the curtain, can actually be one of the real pleasures of striving for a fantastic performance. Because a lot of the work whilst difficult if your attitude is one of just doing it, because you really, really just want to get better and all the focuses on how you can improve. Then when you get the knockbacks, you don't really see them as knockbacks. It's just that disappointing. But learn from it, and move on and try to get better. And I can honestly say that in the last, you know, 18 months to two years, with Liam, it's been a real pleasure because no matter what happens, win or lose,

I remember in Helsinki, recently he lost 7/6 in the third set after two watchpoints, of course, very disappointing. The spectators cleared and we went on the same court and did about 20 minutes of work on something that I felt in the match, he could have done better.

And then off we go to shower change and dinner. And it was just part of the process of yes, you win and lose matches, whether you like it or not. And you just keep working hard to get better. But certainly never think that what happens behind the curtain is easy, because it definitely is not easy. But at the same time, I don't think it's has to be painful. You just get on with it, keep doing it and your vision is in becoming the best that you can be. However long that takes is how long it takes. As long as you enjoy doing it, keep doing it and don't see it as a trauma every time you don't perform like you would like to because all you got to do is get back on the horse and go again.

Remember when you spectating or if you're a fan, that there is a lot of work that goes on behind the scenes and of course, once that has been done It is very disappointing for anybody, if they don't perform to the level that, you know, they or you expect them to. They're not there to disappoint you, they're there to make you happy. But of course, you have opponents, you have all sorts of things that can affect performance and if it does, it's just a shame. But, you know, keep supporting because if people are doing their best, that's all they can do.

I hope you enjoyed this episode. And as I said, please get in touch. And thanks very much. I value your time and try to keep this short, so that I don't take too much of your time and hope that out of all of the nuggets that I give that a few of them resonate with you and give you something that can help you in anything that you're pursuing. Thank you very much.

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Good morning. Good afternoon. Good evening, wherever in the world you are, this is David Sammel with another Monday Podcast.

Today, I'm going to talk about the reasons why I created mindset college, my online life skills programme for competitors. It's because I understand, from my own journey, some of the pain that you might be going through, and that I definitely went through.

This is, was really brought home to me, at a challenger in Phoenix, where a guy I used to play against in college, who was all American and number two in the country. We talked about our college careers.

I said to him, "Well, you know, you were really tough to play against."

And he said,

Well, Dave, you know, you were too! One of the things a lot of us top guys in college used to say, is "Wow Dave is really intimidating, big serve and forehand. Thank goodness, he doesn't really know what he's doing on the court."

And whilst this was not news to me, hearing it again, really stuck to me. And that is, had I had possibly some better information fed to me, had I maybe been sharper in my own brain in figuring out what needed to be done, rather than much later in my career, I would have been much more aware of my own weapons, and not continually over estimating my opponents and worrying about what they could do to me.

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Good morning, good day, good evening, wherever in the world you are, this is David Sammel.
Why do resolutions fail? Well simply put, the people that we can let down the most, or the person we can let down the most is ourselves because we are not accountable, other than to ourselves unless we tell other people, what we're planning.

One of the key areas that we can improve is to learn how to trust ourselves, and therefore, do not over promise ourselves what we're going to do. Start off under promising and delivering, so you can develop trust in yourself, by doing what you say you're going to do. Would you trust someone who rarely did what they promised?
Clearly not so I challenge you to hold yourself to the same standards you expect of others.

For instance, if you say, I'm going to run every morning, and you know, damn, well, when you say it, that there's no chance that you'll run every morning, don't Promise yourself that you're going to do that. Rather say, I'm going to run once a week. And when you start achieving that, and you need to achieve that repeatedly, after maybe three or four weeks or so you will be ready to say, I'm ready to commit to twice a week. Slowly build trust in yourself by delivering what you say you're going to deliver.

Think about it. How can other people really trust in you if you don't trust yourself?
This is one of the areas in life that is often missed, because it's easy to forget that we've said we're going to do this and that to ourselves and not delivered. It's also one of the reasons why we think we can do more than we actually can with the time available. So, we say, okay, I'm going to finish this project by the end of the week, because it's going to take six hours and I can easily fit that in. And the reality is you probably can double that to 12 hours, and there's no chance you're going to fit it in in a week. So, try to be realistic and say okay, even if I think it's going to be six hours, I'm going to deliver it in two weeks.

I hope this makes sense because it's one of the things that really does improve the quality of your life. When you know 80 or 90% of the time you deliver for yourself what you say you're going to do.

I've noticed with athletes, that when they start to stick to their routines, which I spoke about last week, and do them consistently that after time, when they totally buy in and realise how impactful consistent routines are, that's when things really start to change for them in a competitive arena. That consistency and that trust in themselves to deliver somehow shows in crisis and under pressure, where they need to deliver some bravery and because they've delivered consistently on their routines, it is far easier for them to do so in a competitive situation, what they really know what they must do and have to do.

This trust that they've asked of themselves to do it. bears fruit in those moments.

I hope I'm making sense. If I'm not, I apologise but take care and speak again next week.

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www.mindsetcollege.co.uk

Good morning, good day, good evening, wherever in the world you are. This week, I'm going to focus on routines and preparation. Whilst I'm going to use tennis as an analogy, because that's where I have so much first-hand experience, I'm also in my job as a coach have mental skills for other athletes and for people involved in business and entrepreneurs. See the similar and same traits of those who succeed. During lockdown, I had the time to create mindset College, which is a programme dedicated to not only how to compete, but also how to take care of all of the worries and fears and doubts, before you go into competition before you go into that meeting. And this is something that I've noticed with elite performers.

For example, Marcus Daniel, who won a bronze medal at the Olympics, and has been in quarterfinals of several grand slams, and won five tour events, developed his routines over time. And every day, he goes through them, whether it's his meditation is stretching. All of his journaling and mental routines are the same every single day. Of course, he is adaptable. And if he's travelling or got less time, he will shorten them, or lengthen them. But essentially, he will do them every day. And if you listen to podcasts of successful people, they will all tell you that they have very good routines in order to prepare for what they've got to do. And these routines are consistent.

That is the key. So mindset College is a programme that helps you not only develop these routines, but also to understand the mindset needed to take full advantage of it. So I urge you to go and have a look at this programme. And to really get involved with it, because it will help you in whatever you do in life. So thank you very much for listening, and take a look at your routines. Do you have any? And are you consistent with them? This is the key. And I promise you, if you develop even small routines like in the morning, having a list of what you got to do.

That alone will help you or if on a Sunday evening you have a look at the most important things you need to accomplish in the week and put them down to the day that you're going to do them. There's far more chance of these things happening. And when you competing in your preparation, you actually think about what you have to deliver out there on the court on the field. You know, in the ring, you've got a far better chance of delivering what you what you intend to do, if your mind knows and is prepared to put it out there. Thanks a lot and speak next week.

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Good morning, good day. Good evening, wherever you are in the world you are. This week, I'm coming to you from the Phoenix Country Club, where Liam is going to be playing the semi finals this afternoon. And I'm going to talk to you a little bit about resilience, which, of course, is a buzzword, and many people talk about being resilient. And my interpretation of what resilient is, may may help you. So basically, this week has been going very well. And obviously, through Liam's career, we've been together for pretty much seven, eight years, and it's been a very, very long road. So that is something you know, sticking around and stickability and just keep improving on what you do is one side of resilience. But the the other side of resilience, I'd like to talk to you about is when things go wrong in other parts of your life. So, for instance, you know, this week, managed to come out of a parking space and, you know, run into another car wasn't bad, nobody hurt. But it's definitely something that that is an issue that needs to be dealt with, there's a problem with insurance. And it's gonna be big, big hassle. Now think that resilience is being able also to put things in a box, and not let them affect the rest of your life and the rest of your day and all the things that you've got to do. So whilst I've got this thing hanging over my head, I put it in a box and just say, you know, it's something that, you know, will have to be dealt with, and it will be dealt with. And while I'm focusing on that, when I'm dealing with it, the rest of the time, I just put it in the back of my mind and, and don't really worry about it. And I think you know, part of resilience, which allows people to continue and have a good attitude to everything that they do is being able to put tough stuff in boxes and, and deal with them as and when necessary, and not have them, you know, impacting every other area of their life. So, I think, you know, by interpretation of resilience is is is simply that is keep things separate as much as possible. Not saying everything can be in that there's never any seepage, but definitely, I find that helps me. Anyway. Thanks very much for listening, and I'll speak to you again next week.

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Fuck the why.
I'm getting a bit fed up with advertising and articles on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and all the gurus and experts telling us that we need to know our why, why we do things, the why that is our driving force and if we know what it is then we will find it easy to imagine and see exactly what we want in the future and that without the why we will be less motivated in our work. It is such a buzz thing to do now - to find your why!

I find this just ... Well, in the beginning when I first heard this, I kinda bought into it and did quite a bit of work to find my big why. But you know what, after 42 years of adulthood I can honestly say I have no big why! No matter how hard I looked within to find this revelation no lightning bolt struck!

Life is an adventure and if you enjoy what you're doing do you need to know exactly why you do it? You do it because you enjoy it so does there need to be a great destination behind our lives?

I know all the research behind the success of people who plan their lives and I’m not advocating no plans at all, but what I am saying is that whilst the general direction of your life can be planned, how it happens, who you meet who will influence us and what happens to our journey cannot be planned. Surely remaining open to change is also important because as we age and mature what we want and like also evolves, so sticking pedantically to a plan, a career, a country, or any plan so as not to be a quitter can be a huge cause of unhappiness. Deep down we all know whether we are quitting or whether we actually prefer to do something different.

I'm not so sure that a good life can be planned, because what and why we do things surely will vary in different circumstances? Our ambitions are only a part of our life. Spontaneity so often brings the greatest pleasures or changes to our lives that the caution of sticking to our why and our plans can deter spontaneous action and can work against us.

I think sometimes wanting to live this perfect life underpinned by a powerful why so as to achieve everything that we want with all these fantastic goals fails to recognise the beauty of flow. If we work hard, stay relaxed and ask the universe to fulfil our desires, many will just flow to us, but never lose sight of the reality that whilst many things will work out, many others won’t because that is what it should be otherwise, we wouldn’t appreciate the wins.

I do believe if you do the work, good things will come to you even if it is only a good lesson. The big point is that we just never know when we will reap the rewards of our work, in what form we benefit or how much reward will come back to us.

I think a lot of people that have worked incredibly hard and gotten into privileged positions forget the one element that is part of it, which is a bit of luck in hitting the right thing at the right time. One example is doing something or selling something that captures people's imagination. This is rarely planned and known. We can have an inkling that success will follow a good plan but nothing in life is guaranteed, and most great businesses or people could never envisage the size of their success.
Yeah, I'm just getting a little tired of the pressure to find my big fucking why, that somehow we are less if we don’t have one. The only why for me is to enjoy my life, and what brings me enjoyment does vary. My life evolved into coaching, and it feels good to share and help others have empathy, have a sunny outlook and be resilient through difficult times. There is no cosmic why behind my choices and there are many other things in life I may try.

If you do know your big why, congratulations. It is personal and your own gift that drives you forward but remain humble because knowing your why does not make anyone a special human being or entitle anyone to anything.

If you like my stuff email me at [email protected] and let me know what topics you would like to hear about.

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