Long Story Short

In this episode of Long Story Short, Kris and Leah explore the origins of alternative rock, the genres of sludge and grunge, and the creation of a little band called “Nirvana.”

Series: Made By Melvin (1/2)

Music: "Dragostea din tei" by O-Zone; "Kryptonite" by 3 Doors Down; "Werewolves in London" by Warren Zevon; "In Bloom" by Nirvana; "Night Goat" by The Melvins; "Sweet Willy Rollbar" by The Melvins; "A History of Bad Men" by The Melvins; "Rooster" by Alice in Chains; "Would" by Alice in Chains; "Liberate" by Disturbed; "Something in the Way" by Nirvana; "Spoonman" by Soundgarden; "Hunger Strike" by Temple of the Dog; "Alive" by Pearl Jam; "Even Flow" by Pearl Jam; "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam; "Lithium" by Nirvana; "Where Did You Sleep Last Night" by Leadbelly; "Where Did You Sleep Last Night" by Nirvana; "Bull in the Heather" by Sonic Youth; "Youth Without Youth" by Metric; "End of the Line" by Sleigh Bells; "Where Is My Mind" by Pixies; Neil Peart's drum solo from Rush's "Snakes & Arrows"; "Kashmir" by Led Zeppelin; "Ramble On" by Led Zeppelin; "When the Levee Breaks" by Led Zeppelin; "Black Dog" by Led Zeppelin; "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana.

Outro: "Heart-Shaped Box" by Nirvana.

Referenced: Dave Grohl talks with Pharrell Williams in the documentary "From Cradle to Stage" (YT); the origins of metal music (YT); the three types of metal scream (YouTube); Desus & Mero interview with Dave Grohl (YT); Dave Grohl and Pat Smear in an interview with Howard Stern (YT).

Kris's latest book: The Golden Age: The Escalation and Epidemic of Gun Violence in America, Volume I & Volume II, an acerbic, panoramic exploration of mass-shootings and the use and legality of firearms across American history. This indecorous, irreverent, and oft-irate double-volume incorporates multiple genres—namely history, true crime, psychology, politics, and law—in a comprehensive effort to understand how three centuries of ego and greed culminated in today's liberal gun culture and far-right attitudes, as well as how the two are linked.

The finale of a sixteen-part series about twentieth-century Romania, this episode explores the debauched presidency of Romania's final autocrat, the Trump-analogous Traian Băsescu, the restoration of confidence and economy alike under the administration of former schoolteacher Klaus Johannis, and the present issues facing the country, most notably being a border crisis, a NATO bid, and the looming threat of Russian invasion.

Series: Ceaușescu's Downfall (16/16)

Music: "Tú Serás Mi Baby" by Les Surfs; main theme from The Conversation (1974); "Intermission" by Blur; "Louie Louie" by The Kingsmen; Laura Palmer's theme from Twin Peaks (1990);  "Break" by Beenzino; "Sonido Amazonico" by Los Mirlos; "Don't You Just Know It" by Huey 'Piano' Smith; "A Little Chaos" by Peter Gregson; "Then He Kissed Me" by The Crystals, best known as the aural accompaniment to the Copacabana long-take in Martin Scorsese's Goodfellas (1990).

Outro: "Beyond the Sea" by Bobby Darin.

Referenced:  news about Hungary's present-day autocracy (AP); news about Moldova's change in legal language (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6); HyperNormalisation, a fascinating 2016 BBC documentary by Adam Curtis (YouTube/Vimeo); Seth Meyers roasting Donald Trump at the 2011 White House Correspondents' Dinner (1, 2, 3); that time Băsescu and his cronies embezzled $1.1b of EU funds meant for a Danube Delta project (1, 2); Andrew Tate arrested in Romania (reddit); Romania barred from the Schengen free-travel zone (1, 2, 3).

Corrections: None, for now. (However, do note that Elena Băsescu hasn't done anything since the EU.)

Kris's best-reviewed book: A Wintry Scene in Chequamegon (available in hardcover, paperback, and e-book forms)

The fifteenth of a sixteen-part series about twentieth-century Romania, this episode explores the immediate chaos following the execution of the Ceaușescus - a chaos likely orchestrated by provisional president Ion Iliescu in order to legitimatize his seizure of the throne - and a handful of similarly-corrupt figures who colluded with the international elite to surreptitiously privatize Romania's state industries during her period of supposed-liberalization and reconstruction.

Series: Ceaușescu's Downfall (15/16)

Music: the Dark Fantasy Studio catalog; "Sixteen Tons" by 'Tennessee' Ernie Ford; "Cbat" by Hudson Mohawke; "Who Let The Dogs Out" by Baha Men; "Move It Like This" by Baha Men.

Outro: "Mack the Knife" by Bobby Darin.

Referenced:  The Patriot Front (1, 2, 3, 4, 5); Muffins (Liam Kyle Sullivan); the infographic on the 30 most expensive buildings; a Salina Turda photo gallery (stock); 'Movile Cave', the poison cave (BBC); Kevin McCarthy Chose Ambition Over Honesty On January 6th (MSNBC); Kevin McCarthy elected as Speaker of the House of Representatives (NBC News); "I'm just chillin in cedar rapids" (YT); Hillary Clinton tries the cold chai (YT); The Story of 'Who Let The Dogs Out' by Baha Men (Vice); Courage The Cowardly Dog, S01E03, "Hothead", the Floyd scene (YT).

Corrections: Oh, I totally had one... but what was it?

Kris's most recent book: Square Bones, a collection of dialogue scenes (short stories told strictly as dialogue duets; available in hardcover, paperback, and e-book forms)

The fourteenth of a sixteen-part series about twentieth-century Romania, this episode explores the life of Vlad Dracula, "the Impaler", a clever and relentless man of gruesome legend; his triple-crossing of two heavyweights of consequence - the Hungarian Catholic John Hunyadi, AKA the "White Knight of Wallachia", and the Ottoman Sultan Mehmed II, conqueror of Constantinople; and the long-awaited trial and execution of deposed despots Nicolae and Elena Ceaușescu.

Series: Ceaușescu's Downfall (14/16)

Music: "Symphony No.7, 2nd movement" by Beethoven

"Symphony No.9, 4th movement" by Beethoven

"Utan Utan" by Selda Bağcan

"Istanbul (Not Constantinople)" by They Might Be Giants

"There He Is Again" by The Hues Corporation, from the surprisingly-enjoyable 1972 blaxploitation horror film "Blacula"

"Toccata and Fugue in D Minor" by Bach

"If That's the Way You Want It" by Tavares

"Symphony No.4, Winter movement" by Vivaldi

"Preludes Op.28 No.15 (D-Flat Major)" by Vladimir Horowitz

Outro: "It's All Over but the Crying" by The Ink Spots

Referenced: The glory of the Hagia Sophia (Masterclass); Lee Miller's bosom (New Yorker); first interview with Dorin-Marian Cirlan (Guardian); second interview with Cirlan (blogspot); and the full transcript of the closed trial of Nicolae and Elena Ceaușescu (Wikisource).

Corrections: That Dr. Dre song was not "Light Speed", but rather "Let's Get High". Oh, what an eager fool I was. Sorry, Dre.

Queen Elizabeth II cannot "die soon" as she chose, coincidentally, to die during the short period I was editing this episode. What a spiteful bitch.

Gold is not a bacteria-resistant metal. In addition to the aforementioned copper, zinc, and nickel, there is also tin, lead, and titanium, among others.

It's Samuel L. Jackson, not Morgan Freeman, who stars in the movie Unthinkable. I literally can't believe I said that; I was staring at the movie poster, too. Wow. (How could I have possibly confused them, anyway? I know their filmographies backward and forward. Now I feel as stupid as that "entertainment reporter" who mistook Samuel L. Jackson for Laurence Fishburne, while talking to Samuel L. Jackson.)

Hosni Mubarak was Egypt's leader; Libya's overthrown autocrat was Muammar Gaddafi. He was lynched in the street by his people, in 2011, and it was both gruesome and hilarious.

"Genius of the Carpathians" was a biography of Nicolae Ceaușescu; the Hannibal Barca podcast by Dan Carlin, that I mistook it for, was "Punic Nightmares". I am so very, very sorry for being a dungo-brain.

Kris's most recent book: Circle Game, a short story collection (intermittent tales of transgressive fiction and historical nonfiction; available in hardcover, paperback, and e-book forms)

~ Dan Schneider's White Slime ~

The thirteenth of a sixteen-part series about twentieth-century Romania, this episode explores Nicolae Ceaușescu's final speech and the revolution that rose partway through it: from turbulence in a reluctant crowd to a night of fear and fighting, and the mid-morn insurrection that forced their dotard dictator into literally taking flight to save his life — if only for the meanwhile...

Series: Ceaușescu's Downfall (13/16)

Guest: Jake "Man Dog" Nutting.

Music: "Cohen's Masterpiece" by Garry Schyman

"Spanish Flea" by Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass

"Absolution" by Scott Buckley

"In the House, In a Heartbeat" by John Murphy

"If That's the Way You Want It" by Tavares

Outro: "Feel Ting Inc. (Big Shaq x Gorillaz)" by Reking Bear (YouTube)

"mii channel theme x reese's puffs" by lop90able (YouTube)

Kris's newest book: Circle Game, a short story collection (available in hardcover, paperback, and e-book forms)

In this one-shot episode of Long Story Short, Kris and Leah explore the word “fart” and its synonyms, notable farts of the animal kingdom, the chemical curiosities of a fart, and the many different ways one could hide or cherish a fart.

Series: One-Shots, Episode 002

Outro: "Toxic Coffee" by Aesop Rock x Britney Spears mashup (YouTube)

Mentioned: Australian fart-bullying case; Herring fishy fart-talk; Whale poonado; OSHA on Hydrogen-Sulfide; Uranus is full of farts; Vsauce on human holes; Healthline on holding-in farts; WikiHow on holding-in farts; r/DisneyVacation for reimagining WikiHow images.

The twelfth of a sixteen-part series about twentieth-century Romania, this episode explores the life of rocketry pioneer Hermann Oberth, Silviu Brucan's dissenting "Letter of the Six", and the Transylvanian pastor László Tőkés, whose secret interview for Canadian television ultimately led to Ceaușescu's downfall.

Series: Ceaușescu's Downfall (12/16)

Outro: "Ketamine" by Versatile (YouTube)

Special guests: visiting us from the faraway City of Angels are voice-over artist Alex a.k.a. Maverick (check-out his dope-ass professional catalog) and reality television producer Brooke (whose upcoming release, Conjuring Kesha, will be on Discovery+).

Kris's newest book: Circle Game, a short story collection (available in hardcover, paperback, and ebook forms)

See also: openarticle.xyz, and the 1988 sex-ed video, "What is AIDS?"

The eleventh of a sixteen-part series about twentieth-century Romania, this episode explores the construction of Ceaușescu's absolutely-massive palace, the dissent of writer Paul Goma, the defection of Securitate chief Jon Mihai Pacepa, the Jiu Valley miners' strike, and the slow collapse of the state economy.

Series: Ceaușescu's Downfall (11/16)

Outro: "On Point" by Old Man Saxon (YouTube)

The tenth of a sixteen-part series about twentieth-century Romania, this episode explores the rise of "honorary scientist" Elena Ceaușescu, the lives of those rascally Ceaușescu Kids, Nicolae's first efforts as "Conducător 2.0", and a flashback to Trajan's Bridge, as well as the etymologies of Romania and the Romani.

Series: Ceaușescu's Downfall (10/16)

Outro: "The Power of Music (Old Spice)" by melodysheep (YouTube, Bandcamp)

Further reading on nomadic magic-peoples: "Jedis, Pastafarians and Zuists: How should Christians respond to the rise of DIY religion?" by the desperate reverend Mark Woods

The ninth of a sixteen-part series about twentieth-century Romania, this episode explores the baby-boom of Decree 770 and the distressing consequences of natalism, Romania's lovely-but-brief affair with Westernization, and the influence that North Korea and China bore on Ceaușescu's gestating cult of personality.

Series: Ceaușescu's Downfall (9/16)

Outro: the ProleteR remix of Frank Sinatra's "That's Life."

Further reading on the children of Bucharest's underground: Vice, National Geographic, Feature Shoot.

"I'd like to give the world a ghost, to keep them company..."