Loud Mouth Soup

So, have you ever sat down and thought? I'm gonna make me a podcast. But you also thought, I kind of want to make a sandwich. You end up making the podcast and four hours later you wish you had made a sandwich. So you cry yourself to sleep and wonder why you were born. Well, Matt and Dan should have made sandwiches. And "making sandwiches" isn't a metaphor for making tranny porn. Matt and Dan like sandwiches and they should have made sandwiches, something with swiss maybe. Go make a sandwich and prepare to enjoy it far more than listening to this podcast. 

We're back again! Next week we'll be just here. Are we here though? And that's the extent of my existential perspective. Regardless of our pointless lives and this pointless podcast, Matt and Dan are here to entertain themselves and your opinion is existential diarrhea. I should probably do more research on existentialism. Please partake and enjoy a podcast that will have no affect to anyone on any timeline that is possibly conceivable in an infinite number of universes. 

Well, we are back! After a most unnecessary hiatus, Matt and Dan reunite in a trailer in the woods. The hiatus hasn't been a complete waste, Matt is a Mormon now and Dan has Amazon Prime. Join us for a rousing start to 2017!

Today's secret word is "Mutual Destruction". Well the votes are in and this podcast is a miserable failure. Matt and Dan sit down and regress and pontificate on the future and its magnificent possibilities for everyone except them. The question remains, when will this podcast take its own life and be dragged off into the woods by the coyotes? Enjoy!

Today's secret word is "corn starch". Matt's 40 everyone! Dan's drunk and we went to ITT! Matt turned 40 a good two weeks ago but we didn't want to post this until we knew he would live a few days past his 40th birthday. Last time I heard he's still with us and on the road to success and making a cool $19k his first year at his new job. Thanks for listening!

Today's secret word is "black mold". We start off the podcast with an incredibly vague description of an object we don't care to let the audience in on and then we dive into porn and the plight of the mentally handicapped. We really should take notes on our shows for future reference. This show brought to you by ADHD.

What inspires you? A beautiful sunset, a piece of art or a fine literary read? Well, here at Loud Mouth Soup, we're inspired by your failures. There's just so much inspiration out there anymore. Here in middle America, inspiration just spills out of every hole,Walmart and evangelical gathering place. When you fail we feel good about ourselves. What does this have to do with our current episode? Not a damn thing! Listen in dummies and be inspired.

Hide your women and children people! The monkeys are coming! Matter of fact I've got one pointing a gun at my head as we speak. These poo flingers can't be trusted but they're just so damn cute. Sure, we hear stories everyday about monkey on human crime but what about monkey on monkey crime? Damn left wing media! Matt and Dan will keep you abreast on these riveting and relevant issues with another episode of Loud Mouth Soup.

Are you thinking about being a dad or do you just intend on adding another illegitimate bastard to our ever dwindling society? Well, Matt and Dan don't care. They've both come to terms with the fact that their DNA will come to an end with their deaths. If only their fathers had the same premonition, Matt and Dan would be much happier right now. 

So to commemorate Father's Day, Matt and Dan complain about their dads. Keep in mind, when you're a dick of a dad your kids grow up to lead pointless mundane lives.