Many of us were raised to serve and give to others, and this is biblical, but this can become unhealthy when we give so much to others, we lose ourselves in the process. This tendency to give too much, to take on too much responsibility, to own more than we should in relationships, often comes from insecurities rooted in our upbringing and hurts we’ve suffered in the past. Perhaps our experiences taught us that others would reject us or get angry if we said no so we learned to pacify or overcompensate by being too accommodating. After doing this for long enough, we can fail to recognize we are caught in a destructive cycle. Unless we put up guardrails or boundaries, we are sure to implode emotionally, bringing our well-being and our relationships down with us.

Robert and Kimberley talked with single mom, Elizabeth, about how loving well includes boundaries. Sometimes we spend too much time worrying about other people’s feelings and saying yes to too many things because we’re afraid to disappoint them or have them get angry with us if we say no. While this may appear to be very giving and even seem like love, it really reflects a problem with not loving ourselves or respecting our own needs. 

Saying no and having good boundaries can be challenging for those who are Christians because we are taught to put others before ourselves. When we love ourselves well, first and foremost, we are able then to give our best yes to the right things. If we say yes to everything, our yes comes to mean almost nothing. Instead of coming from a place of genuine care and love, saying yes can become a subtle form of control. Too often our yes, our overcompensation, and our over accommodation, becomes a way to please people and seek man’s approval and not God’s, and often at our own expense. We are not called to please everyone around us. We are called to please God.

On today podcast we discuss 7 facets of love as a boundary.

*Boundaries help us give our best yes

*Boundaries require new ways of interacting

*Boundaries are God’s idea

*Boundaries with our kids

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