CW: Mentions of alcohol use, houselessness, violence, death, animal attacks, mild gore, child abuse, adultery, cannibalism, and harassment. 

Babe, have you hydrated today? Do you got your three liquids?

Hello and hi, welcome to yet another episode of the internet’s horniest monster podcast! Have you heard a hornier one? We doubt it. Tell us who’s more randy than us! We’ll out horny anyone! But anywho, onto today’s episode. Today, we discuss popcorn preferences, saucy science quandaries, rats, rats, and more rats! That’s right, we’re talking about the Ratman of Southend and reading a tale penned by LAFS’s own Joyce, during a COVID fever dream. Be nice about your critiques…maybe not her best work, but she tried! 

Find all things LAFS at linktr.ee/lafspod. 

Want to help Jem start their ‘oh-so-important’ research? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/lafspod. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CW: Substance use, alcohol abuse, abductions, nonconsensual infertilization, miscarriages, kidnapping, medical procedures, ear injury, kidnapping, mass murder, war, and x-files spoiler. Also, today's story doesn't take transness in account (big eye-roll).

Much like her past honey bun-oriented antics, Joyce was having a hard time this episode. But cut her some slack, she was suffering the COVID during this recording. But worry not, it doesn't ruin the vibe. Y'all will still have a good time...we promise! So today we discuss aliens who just sound like really tall white people...with some sketchy undertones. That's right folks, we're talking Nordic aliens. The gang covers topics like stoned animals, tall boys from space, and an intergalactic school project. What more could you ask for?! Maybe less bad mouth sounds, but other than that...NOTHING!!

Find all things LAFS at linktr.ee/lafspod. 

Want to help us start our rehab center for totally radical animals? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/lafspod. 

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CW: Mentions of animal attacks, death, injury, very mild gore, and alcohol use

Better late than never, right folks? Sorry for the late delivery but here we are with another banger. Today, we discuss the horniness of Baldur’s Gate, spooky tales from early America, and a fanfiction with a monstrous twist. Intrigued? Then what are you waiting for!?! Press play now and join the fun!!!

Find all things LAFS at linktr.ee/lafspod. 

Want to help us keep this sexy venture afloat? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/lafspod. We promise to spend it wisely. Trust us!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A boatload of content warnings this time around. CW: Mentions of animal death, animal abuse, injury, use of gay slurs, violence, murder, dismemberment, displacement, imprisonment, cannibalism, alcohol use, gun violence

Look at us…TWO YEARS deep!!! We’ve been doing the dang thing for two years now. Happy anniversary to us!!! Celebrate with us by listening to this holiday-themed anniversary episode. In this wintertime special, we talk about every alternative kid’s favorite Christmas figure. And no, it’s not Jack Skellington…no, no, we’re talking Krampus. Limp wrists, firm rod…hoe, hoe, hoe. You know him. You love him. We offer him up as our gift to you. Other than learning about Santa’s bad cop, we reminisce about being little gays playing sports, the Grinch, and read a story Rankin-Bass wish they could write. 

Horny holidays to one and all <3

Find all things LAFS at linktr.ee/lafspod. 

Want to help us keep this sexy venture afloat? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/lafspod. We promise to spend it wisely. Trust us!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CW: Mentions of injury, broken bones, intruders, drug use, and alcohol use. Also note, we briefly mention transfemme bodies. If you think that may cause you dysphoria, maybe skip the first 30 secs or so. 

This is the one where Joyce says yes…

Sexy dreams are made of these…voices. Supposedly, there’s folks out there REALLY enjoy the sounds of our voices. Sweet dreams, bbs<3 Other than listener submitted dreams, we discuss horny ASMR, the Predator-esque entity known as Glimmermen, bad Jimmy Stewart impressions, and end with saucy snippets from a Jem-penned story. Mwah! Chef’s kiss.

Find all things LAFS at linktr.ee/lafspod. 

Want to hear the rest of today's tale? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/lafspod for bonus content! We promise to spend it wisely. Trust us!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CW: Brief mentions of killing, strangulation, drowning, abduction of children, bodily injury & mutilation, illness, surgery

Raise your hand if you’re tortured by desire…

Join us for one of our silliest episodes thus far (and that’s saying a lot!). Like a bunch of Looney Tunes going down a porn rabbit hole. Today, we’re discussing the kikimory, house spirits that haunt the homes of Slavic people. After we learn a little, we read a spicy story with some trans representation. We love to see it!

Find all things LAFS at linktr.ee/lafspod

Want to help us keep this sexy venture afloat? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/lafspod. We promise to spend it wisely <3

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CW: Loss of a loved one, car accident death, animal death, infidelity 

Musicals. What do you all think? Do you love them? Do you hate them? Do you give ‘Sound of Music’ a pass? What does any of this have to do with monsters? You gotta listen in to find out!

Y’all ready to get dirty? We know you are. Today, we’re discussing the Big Muddy Monster of Murphysboro, Illinois, and reading some hot Bigfoot-forward fiction. This one is a pile of giggles and goofs. We were definitely distracted by the 'ha-ha's but that doesn't mean it isn't entertaining. Or sexy. Join us in this wholesome, horny fun.

Find all things LAFS at linktr.ee/lafspod. 

Want to help us keep this sexy venture afloat? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/lafspod

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CW: Multiple mentions of death, drowning, and violence. Brief mentions of infidelity, arranged marriages, self-harm, and suicide

Are you ready for another episode of the podcast that should just stick to monster facts, and never speak of geography again? Apparently, our inability to correctly recall info from the realm of geography angers some…sorry, not sorry. We try our best!

Alrighty, anyway, on to the episode! In this one, Joyce tries her best to stay optimistic, the crew defends pumpkin spice, and Coco puts Jem through voice-acting torture. WE LOVE GILLIE! Should be a hoot! Hope you're ready to get your feet wet!

Find all things LAFS at linktr.ee/lafspod. 

Want to help us keep this sexy venture afloat? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/lafspod

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CW: Mentions of queer gatekeeping, death, illness, child death, birthing complications, animal death, violence, murder, incarceration, hanging, drowning, problematic medical practices, infidelity

HAPPY HALLOWEEN listeners! My, how time flies…it’s already spooky season again. Cuddle up under some blankets with your favorite pumpkin-spiced treat and join us for a special holiday episode.

Today, we’re talking Frankenstein’s Monster…Frankenstein’s creature..creation? We’ll let you be the judge. In this one, we discuss the life and times of Mary Shelley, read spicy "Frankensmut", and get pumped for the upcoming holiday (while throwing heavy candy-related shade at Coco. Really? The black and orange wrapped sadness...)

PS. Jem made a whoopsie and has been properly punished. There is no need to add further insult to injury because they are deeply ashamed to have gotten the name of the movie “Ernest Scared Stupid” wrong.

Find all things LAFS at linktr.ee/lafspod. 

Want to help us keep this sexy venture afloat? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/lafspod

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CW: Animal abuse, violence, death, intimidation, injury, drug addiction, alcohol use

Well, howdy stranger! What brings you to our neck of the woods? Well, hot lit and nonsense I'd imagine! And there's plenty of that to go around. Don't be shy...In today's episode, we talk about smart pigs, aliens in Bender cosplay, and a lover who might get a lil too hot and bothered (if you aren't careful). Join us for this veritable feast of silliness. You'll be glad you did.

And always remember...MAGNUM PISS

Find all things LAFS at linktr.ee/lafspod. 

Want to help us keep this sexy venture afloat? Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/lafspod

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.