Love, Happiness and Success with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

We've all been there: Your partner says something that just inflames you, and you say something you regret later. Or you instinctively defend yourself and withdraw when things get tense, rather than leaning into a healthy and productive courageous conversation. We all know that being able to react vs. respond is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, and healthy relationships. But that can be easier said than done in the middle of a heated conflict.  When you’re frustrated, hurt, or stressed, you might raise your voice, say something you don’t mean, or make an impulsive decision with long-lasting consequences. All of this is bad news for you and for your relationships. But learning the art of being responsive versus reactive leads to deeper, healthier connections, and a life that’s directed by your true values.  That's what we're talking about on today's show. I hope you'll tune in! With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

If you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around your partner, or work WAY harder than you should to make sure they're comfy (often at the expense of your own needs), my friend, you may be in an emotionally enmeshed relationship.  In fact, over many years of experience as a couples counselor and relationship coach, I've often found that the true underlying issue behind many relationship conflicts is due to emotional enmeshment and it's sister, codependence. This creates resentment, reactivity, pursuit/withdrawal dynamics and more. Good relationships require individuation, and a healthy self awareness of personal responsibility and healthy boundaries. So how can you create a healthier connection? That’s what this episode is all about! I’m talking about what enmeshed relationships look like, why they’re problematic, and how you can bring your relationship back into balance if emotional enmeshment is creeping in.  I hope you’ll join me! Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com

Do you feel like you and your partner get stuck in a power struggle where you feel one way, they feel another, and you just cannot compromise?  Today's episode brings real-world relationship advice to help you communicate differently, so that you can break through the gridlock and get back on the same page. xo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

When someone we love, trust, and rely on betrays us, it creates a deep, painful wound that doesn’t always heal on its own. As a couples therapist who often works with people around heartbreak recovery after a bad breakup or divorce, and helping couples heal after infidelity, and even in my work as a dating coach, I know that betrayal trauma, or “relationship trauma,” is real, and it can linger on for months or even years without the right care, just like other kinds of trauma.  Even though relationship trauma is very common, it isn’t always recognized by our culture, or even by the people who are suffering from it. I hope this episode helps shift that for you. When you acknowledge the betrayal and how it impacted you, the door to healing and growth cracks open.  If you’ve experienced betrayal trauma, I hope listening to this episode helps you gain newfound compassion for what you’ve been through, as well as guidance and direction for how to heal and move forward. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more help around repairing trust and healing after wounding relationship experiences, check out my Heartbreak Recovery and Affair Recovery”collections of articles and podcasts.

Making a career transition can be a daunting task, especially if you’ve spent years building your expertise in a particular field only to discover you don’t love your work.  How can you know what career would actually feel more satisfying? If you already know where you'd like to go, how can you begin getting there? If you are ready for a career change, this episode will give you some pointers on where to begin. It’s a conversation between myself and my colleague Susan H., M.A., LPCC, a career counselor, coach, and professional development expert on our team at Growing Self. Susan’s point of view on career change is refreshing and insightful — I hope you’ll tune in!  xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on changing careers with confidence, check out my “Career Clarity” collection of articles and podcasts.

Getting into couples counseling is a fantastic idea... but you have to know how to engage with the process in order to have a good experience. Unfortunately, it's very easy to make one or more of the super common mistakes that can sabotage couples counseling.  I hope this episode helps you avoid that outcome, and get the help for your relationship you need and deserve. My guest is Jenna P., a marriage counselor and relationship coach on our team at Growing Self. She’s sharing her perspective on the seven things that can sabotage couples counseling, and how to have an experience in counseling that truly benefits you and your relationship.  I hope you’ll join us.  Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby  growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on improving your relationship, check out our “Relationship Repair” collection of articles and podcasts.

Wondering how you can help someone get help? You have the power to have a positive impact on the lives of the people you care about, and this episode will show you how. We all will be a concerned friend or family member at some point in our lives. And while none of us has the power to rescue others, fight their battles, or override their choices, we do have an important role to play in the lives of the people we care about: holding up a mirror that reflects what we see, with compassion and honesty. That is how you help someone get help, and today, I’m talking about the best way to do that. Join me! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — You can find more advice like this in our “personal growth” and “healthy relationships” collections of articles and podcasts. I hope you’ll check them out — they’re there for you.

Many people who are unhappy with their working lives are looking for answers. They see other people getting ahead and loving their work, and they wonder why they feel so stuck and unsatisfied. I can tell you that the missing ingredient is never some mysterious quality that makes some people shinier and more successful than others — although I know it can look that way from the outside. More often, the difference is pretty basic: Some people are skilled at professional development planning, and others aren’t yet.  In general, most of us don’t spend enough time planning our lives. We’re too frazzled by the endless to-do list they need to get through to ever zoom out and consider the big picture: Where do I want to be in ten years, and how exactly do I plan to get there? And, most important, how do the things I’m spending my time on every day fit into that plan? If you don’t have an answer to those questions yet, this episode is for you. I hope it inspires you to begin thinking about your own career vision and how you’ll bring it to fruition. My guest is Ronni M., a career coach and counselor on our team at Growing Self. She’s sharing her own career story, as well as the framework she uses to help people like you plan and create professional lives they love.  I hope you’ll join us.  Xoxo,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
P.S. — If you’d like more articles and podcasts on building your career, check out my “professional growth” collection of articles and podcasts.

Knowing how to deal with regret helps you build a life that is authentic, ethical, and meaningful. Without regret, you wouldn’t have good information about who you are, what you need, and where you have opportunities to grow.  But if you don’t know how to deal with regret in a healthy way, it’s easy to become trapped in a vortex of guilt and shame that makes you feel hopeless, defeated, or irredeemably flawed. But it’s possible to create something positive out of regret, by transforming it into an opportunity to grow and evolve. This episode of the podcast is all about how you can do that. I hope it helps you find the opportunities in your regrets, and move forward with self-compassion and new wisdom.  Xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby growingself.com P.S. — For more advice on making friends with dark emotions like regret, check our “emotional wellness” collection of articles and podcasts.

Was that just a nasty fight? Or a sign that your relationship is failing?  As a longtime marriage counselor, I know that it can be hard to spot the difference. Some forms of conflict are healthy and even beneficial for relationships, while others are a signal that your emotional bond is on the rocks. You can prevent a breakup or divorce and keep your connection healthy and strong by learning what a failing relationship really looks like — and what you should be doing right now if your relationship is in trouble.  I hope this episode arms you with all the info you need to make important decisions for your relationship. Join me! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. — For more advice on navigating conflict in a way that helps your relationship grow, check out our “Communication that Connects” collection of articles and podcasts.