[EP 25-130] A Muslim Imam said a man can have up to four wives and unlimited slaves. Four wives?! Listen, most men barely survive one wife. Marriage is like a high-stakes game of poker—one bad hand, and you’re bankrupt. Now, slaves? That’s house money. Four wives? No thanks. Why would I want a quartet of complaints.

If they legalized slavery tomorrow, the wedding industry would collapse overnight. No man is picking out floral arrangements when he could be picking out a personal chef, a groomer, an errand runner, and, let’s be real—one hot one slave girlfriend. Why take on four wives with opinions when you could have four slaves under strict NDAs? I’m sure one’s opinion on this varies with age. So maybe a young man might roll the dice for a wife. But you could KILL the over-50 dating websites. Trust me, a 50-year-old man isn’t looking for a wife—he’s looking for someone who doesn’t know what a prenup is.

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