Having an honest conversation about my struggles with living with a physical disability cerebral palsy. And giving advice to others Who may be struggling with their mental health or know somebody that is..

this is an ongoing struggle for everyone in life we are afraid to trouble others with our burdens even though it’s a part of a healthy and well balanced relationship on this episode I’m gonna look at an article from an online website called the mighty from the perspective of an adult living with cerebral palsy the condition I happen to live with I will include the link in the episode notes https://themighty.com/2020/01/burden-disabled-adult/

- This is something that I struggle with but having the right people in my life have definitely helped me and that is my advice to all of you be intentional about The people you allow in your life we have more power than we realize don’t Chase people don’t allow anyone in your life who doesn’t really care about you if you don’t get good vibes from them they are not meant to be in your life and toss them out immediately!

- The author of this article points out that when they ask for help they sense a little bit of annoyance from other people this has happened to me but mostly I felt like I was a burden throughout my life and I would apologize profusely and I sometimes do that still to this day

- I have felt like a burden in social situations as well like I was bothering people like I was a waste of space at times I have also been depressed throughout my life in middle school and in  high school

- if you feel like a burden you’re definitely not alone

- please get the help you need from a therapist if you feel you need it there’s no shame in therapy and I have been in therapy off and on my whole life

- talk to your family and friends

- if you are a friend or significant other or family member your words matter to the individual words like I appreciate you I need you in my life I love you your disability doesn’t matter to me you are all beautiful human beings Who are listening and I know you know The right words to say I have faith  

- and if you feel alone again the right people will make you feel that you’re not alone they will check in with you daily or often I thought I was going to be alone my whole life but I’m thankful to God for putting some incredible people in my life I know now that’s not going to be the case that I will never be alone even if it feels like I’m alone I have a real concrete reminder and proof that I’m not alone and I encourage everybody listening to the sound of my voice to create that for your life because when you do life becomes worth living

- thanks for listening to this episode I hope it opened up your mind I hope it helps and remember love will save the world and peace out

my grandma is so wise I feel like grandmas and grandpas are very wise because they have lived so long and have so many life lessons to share with us when we were young my grandma and I were talking last weekend and she told me that she had a realization the just because concept so I thought I would share it with all of you today

- also in today’s episode we’re going to talk about Spinal Cord Injury Awareness month that happens every September and in future episodes I plan on highlighting The different types of mobility impairments and even though it’s not specifically related to love on a roll I can also highlight different types of hidden or invisible disabilities if you guys would like me to

- Think about it do we really need a reason for everything in life? I’ve often thought about why something happened to me like why am I in a wheelchair etc it’s natural to question everything around us especially in our society what we think is not part of the norm but instead of questioning things imagine what would happen if we we adopted this just because way of being this why not go with the flow attitude i’ve admired people who have this attitude it should be natural for everyone but we all know it’s not let me tell you a secret even the ones who are carefree they also go through the same human experience that all of us go through on a daily basis that do  not have this mindset but yet they have so much to teach us about how to live our life to the fullest

-so what would it look like to have this mindset and attitude and how can we apply it?

- here are some characteristics spontaneous

- they never turn down opportunities or very rarely do

- they are the people you want to have fun with they are The life of the party or zoom in Covid times or whatever form of electronic Communication you use

- they teach you how to be present and live in the moment and to love everyone

- you never know what to expect and sometimes they take you on adventures

- they teach you to not take life so seriously and  to connect with your inner child

- so how can we apply this to our life ?

- start being spontaneous within reason and safely during this time of Covid Think about Ways you can be spontaneous in your life

- don’t overthink and over analyze I have to remind myself all the time with this one it does no good and it’s really unhealthy and unproductive and extremely bad for our mental health

- Connect with your inner child what are some ways you can apply that and your life make a list start by thinking about things that you used to do as a kid that you can pick up now and this could be part of your self-care daily routine

- learn from people you know who have this attitude what can They teach you about life ? I promise you they will open up your minds in ways you didn’t think was possible

- try to always say yes to opportunities within reason in all areas of your life even when it comes to dating what would happen if we weren’t so quick to reject anopportunity or someone what would happen if we gave the person or opportunity a chance ? You might just find that it opens up a whole new world of possibilities and opportunities for you and life lessons

- I know I’m going to work on this mindset and I encourage everyone listening

I'm human too I don't try to be an inspiration or a role model I just try to love and guide others

Description-Inspiration porn is the portrayal of people with disabilities as inspirational solely or in part on the basis of their disability. The term was coined in 2012 by disability rights activist Stella Young in an editorial in Australian Broadcasting Corporation's webzine Ramp Up and further explored in her TEDx Talk.

- https://www.forbes.com/sites/andrewpulrang/2019/11/29/how-to-avoid-inspiration-porn/#5e2cae875b3d how to avoid inspiration porn

In the years since this talk “went viral,” use of the term has expanded somewhat, to cover a wide array of media portrayals and uses of disability that share one or more of the following qualities

Sentimentality and/or pity

An uplifting moral message, primarily aimed at non-disabled viewers

Disabled people anonymously objectified, even when they are named.

News stories about a student with Down Syndrome being elected Prom King or Queen, depicted as an admirable act of charity.

I apologize for the background music in the previously uploaded episode please enjoy my conversation with Megan where we talk about a wide range of topics and issues

Please enjoy this conversation with Megan where we talk about a wide range of topics and issues.

Special episode talking about various topics and talking about the importance of love and connection at all times but especially during this global pandemic.

I’m trying something new this week since some of you requested longer episodes.

Notes

- on this episode I'm going to share a lesson that I learned in the last year and I think this is a universal lesson , Believe me it's easier said than easily practiced and that's the concept of reducing worry in your life .

- this is not going to be a guaranteed cure i'm still trying to practice this Lesson on a dally basis . I have struggled with this throughout my life but I still feel it's something worth sharing.

- something else that I want to say here I'm human too I don't try to be an inspiration or a role model I just try to love and guide others

- mental health is a constant struggle and this Has to be part of your daily practice

- try to take everything One day at a time try not to focus on the future yes it's great to have goals and yes it's great to achieve things but you don't want to overwhelm yourself I'm guilty of doing that and I'm sure The majority of us are too so take comfort in small victories for me getting through each day especially with everything that's been going on this year both with the coronavirus and in my personal life. Is something I'm really proud of.

- some days you might not feel like being productive and that's OK especially if you don't have any pending deadlines with the school or work some days we just need to be lazy and focus on ourselves. Don't sweat the small stuff you don't need to feel guilty for not being productive every single day. Some days we just need to slow down and that's OK.

- affirmations/meditation this is really helpful I started meditating last summer and it's been incredibly helpful I highly recommend you start this habit asap because it will really help you and your mental health . You can take baby steps but I like doing it at least once a day I like doing it in the morning when I first get out of bed you just need to find a quiet space in you're living space whatever that looks like for you whatever feels the most comfortable for you . Play relaxing peaceful music . I recommend Apple Music and YouTube but I'm sure there's so many other platforms out there. But get cozy Close your eyes and visualize your happy place.

- Just google how to find your happy place and you'll find A lot of good guidance and info

- with affirmations it's cheesy I know but it could definitely help with practicing self love and showing your self compassion so spending time thinking about affirmations you can tell yourself when things get rough even if you don't believe it because you're not gonna believe it when things get rough you're just not it's going to be so difficult to do that when you're going through shit so instead of having over the top affirmations try to make your affirmations more realistic. Like One day at a time i'm going to get through this day you can also Google affirmations for more guidance and info but you're going to want to make your affirmations things that will work for you all the time that's Something I've learned however I am aware that affirmations will not work for everybody they don't work for me all the time so you can even come up with some kind of a motto but if that doesn't work for you that's OK. I don't personally believe in them all the time because how are they going to help you on your worst days when you're really going through a rough time? So instead I would urge you to just find your happy place And try to keep yourself calm as much as possible

- make a list of things you can do to reduce worry and get to your happy place try to include things that you can do regardless of the weather as well because when the weather doesn't cooperate you still need things you can do to reduce worry

- worry and stress unfortunately do not take a vacation and there are stressors and triggers for worry all around us both in our personal life's and in our world and society in general. So hopefully this helps you.

Mental health is extremely important in all areas of life especially in dating and relationships please listen episode for more information if you need the transcript of the episode please contact me .