Notes

- disability should not be a factor when you are considering to date someone any more than food preferences or any other petty factor should come in to play yes it is a little bit different that's for sure you will be a caregiver however there is some sort of caregiving involved in all relationships yes it will be on a different level yes your life may look a little different but it all depends on how you view it and your mindset which is everything in life . At the end of the day you have to decide what's important to you as with any relationship but at the end of the day connection would ideally be the most important . And then everything else is secondary and Falls in to place in the end

- obvious benefits

- parking and parking permits

- VIP treatment

- a place to rest when you're tired

- extra space for groceries and shopping bag and other items extra hands to hold things

- you can get a lift when you're tired of walking!

- not so obvious benefits

- support and encouragement - I think someone in a wheelchair can definitely provide support and encouragement more then the average person who doesn't have a disability because we have had to face hardship at an earlier age and can be a very empathetic individual because of that unique life experience and you will get an emotional bond like no other and connection is so important and essential for all human beings .

- experiencing life in different ways certain activities may look different but it doesn't mean they can't be done or experienced together example certain sports cooking parenting going to the beach etc may look different but can still be done together in adapted Ways . And again you have to decide what's important to you so for example it's important for you to be able to physically go skateboarding with your significant other that's not something I can physically do however I can still be in Close proximity to you And cheer you on and support your passions . If you're looking for someone that can cook you a gourmet breakfast on valentine's Day or your birthday. My pca or someone else will have to do that but if you're looking for someone that can find Great recipes and be creative with food that's something I can do and I can be in the kitchen with you and read the recipe directions ect and be a test taster! So it's all about your perspective and no disability is the same and everybody is impacted by it in different ways so it's important not to assume and ask questions and get information.

For more information about this you can listen to episode 2 of the podcast misconceptions about people who use wheelchairs and dating someone who uses a wheelchair where I provide more resources on dating somebody who uses a wheelchair. But don't be afraid to use a support group Google can be your friend and feel free to consult a professional if need be dr. therapist ect

- I hope this episode gives you a new perspective and helps to alleviate any concerns or fears anyone who's listening may have in regards to being in a relationship of any kind with someone who uses a wheelchair and especially when it comes to being in a romantic or sexual relationship with somebody who uses a wheelchair.

-And remember communication is key with any type of relationship

- something else that I want to say here I'm human too I don't try to be an inspiration or a role model I just try to love and guide others

- always remember love will save the world and peace out

We often refer to recovery from codependency and adult child issues as “self-care.” Self-care is not, as some may think, a spin-off of the “me generation.” It isn’t self-indulgence. It isn’t selfishness—in the negative interpretation of that word.

-We’re learning to take care of ourselves, instead of obsessively focusing on another person. We’re learning self-responsibility, instead of feeling excessively responsible for others. Self-care also means tending to our true responsibilities to others; we do this better when we’re not feeling overly responsible.

-Self-care sometimes means, “me first,” but usually, “me too.” It means we are responsible for ourselves and can choose to no longer be victims.

- Self-care means learning to love the person we’re responsible for taking care of—ourselves. We do not do this to hibernate in a cocoon of isolation and self-indulgence; we do it so we can better love others, and learn to let them love us.

- Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s self-esteem.

-Quoted from the app Language of Letting Go.

- make a list of self-care activities you can do for yourself and produce them daily! If you're in a relationship your girlfriend/boyfriend May have already gotten you into things that Count as self care. These are activities you can do yourself outside of each other i.e. Drinking green juice fishing listening to Music dancing cooking art or any type of creative expression meditation just to name a few .

-something else that I want to say here I'm human too I don't try to be an inspiration or a role model I just try to love and guide others

-The most unexpected things can come from friendship

it is possible to find a girlfriend/boyfriend Friends with benefits or even casual sex right from your social Circle.

- cultivate and grow your social circle and only associate yourself with quality people

- define a quality person -

- fun fact if you look up girlfriend in the dictionary the first definition is actually a female friend. But we typically associated someone has our girlfriend if we are in a romantic or sexual relationship which is actually the second definition in the dictionary same with boyfriend. source Miriam Webster

- something else that I want to say here I'm human too I don't try to be an inspiration or a role model I just try to love and guide others

Notes

-we need love in our life

- without love we will Live a very painful existence

- there are different kinds of love 1. love from family 2. Love from friends 3. Love from people you hold close to your heart 4. Love from the love of your life

- Break down and explain the four kinds of love and the significance of each

- love Will save the world we need more love in the world One love one heart -Bob Marley

- There is this pain of love. You experience it some moments. It starts like a strange gnawing at your heart. It then spreads slowly. Spreads to the whole body. You fall deeply into it. This feeling. And the irony is you like this feeling of pain.”

“Love is a strange feeling! And you cannot understand what happens to you when it does happen to you. Some days you feel as if you are floating over the wispy clouds and the majestic mountains. Other days you feel as if you are swimming alongside the beautiful myriad colored fishes in the vast ocean. Some days you feel as if you can understand the language of the birds and the bees and other days you feel as if the walls and doors are talking to you!”

― Avijeet Das

- something else that I want to say here I'm human too I don't try to be an inspiration or a role model I just try to love and guide others

Don’t forget to share with all your loved ones and give feedback! You can send me a message on Instagram At Love on a roll

Special episode a wide ranging interview on misconceptions about wheelchair users and disability and sexuality and much more!

Notes

- intro

- Five Biggest misconceptions about dating someone in a wheelchair

1. Asexual - A person who has no sexual feelings or desires

This could not be further from the truth most people I know who are in Wheelchairs including myself are normal human beings . And even though we have some obstacles we still desire and think about sex and we find depending on our sexuality we find girls and guys attractive and not just those who are in wheelchairs.

2. Sex and intimacy all human beings can be sexually active and intimate with the partner of their choice . But of course with people in wheelchairs you will have to talk about and experiment until you find ways that work best for you and your partner my best advice would be talk to your partner but don't assume they can't be intimate , however some sexual positions may be out of the question don't be afraid to seek the advice of other couples where one person might is in a wheelchair if you can't find any start your own support group or go to a doctor or occupational therapist.

3. Childcare i conducted a survey asking girls and guys to list their is there biggest hesitations when it comes to dating and having a relationship with someone who happens to be in a wheelchair the issue the Came up most besides sex and intimacy was childcare even though I have not had the honor and privilege to be a father but I have had the privilege to meet , know and appreciate people who are in wheelchairs be fathers and mothers so starting a family is definitely something that is able to happen and I would encourage you to once again find your support group and reach out to an occupational therapist who can help come up with ways for your partner on wheels to be an Active participant in your children's life/childcare.

4. Activities where there's a will there is a way depending on the activity occupational and physical Therapist can be a great resource along with your couples support group but you can also call up The appropriate companies / places and ask questions about accessibility for your partner before booking a trip or activity for example if you wanted to spend a romantic spontaneous day at the beach with your partner you can totally do so thanks to the invention of the beach chair A really cool chair that will allow your significant other to go on the sand without getting stuck and go into the water there may also be a Matt on certain areas of the beach that will allow your partner to Roll down to the water to a certain point in there Wheelchair there are also ways for your partner to be physically active you can ask your partner what they do to be physically active or you can Google the activity just type in adaptive followed by the activity or example I can play a Spirited game of catch and Bowling and soccer among a few other activities.

5. You don't know enough about the persons disability / The wheelchair scares you don't let that get in the way of a great guy or girl true love knows no limits or bonds not even disability ask your partner any question you may have early in the relationship and talk about where you want your relationship to go if it's going to long term no question is stupid or off-limits your partner will understand why your asking and will more than likely not going to take offense to anything you ask most people wheelchair users are Open books. Lastly people who use wheelchairs are just that wheelchair users the chair is only for their mobility and comfort it's all of us only a small part of us it does not define who we are as people.

- something else that I want to say here I'm human too I don't try to be an inspiration or a role model I just try to love and guide others . https://anchor.fm/garrett-rubin-mayersohn/support Please consider supporting me and Love on a roll if you can every little bit helps and i’m committed to bringing more love and inclusion into the world and the community at large. Always remember that love will save the world..

Talking about what it's like to love on a roll The good the bad and the ugly and bringing awareness, education and positivity! I'm trying to bring more love and inclusion to the world. topic how to cope with the loss of someone you love

you will always feel the pain of the loss and there will always be a hole in your chest . And for me personally it feels like a part of me died. The pain never goes away and you always miss them  for the rest of your life . But for me these coping mechanisms  have helped me and I'm Hoping this can help others as well.

- memories are your friend cherish them set aside time to read text conversations , look at pictures ect

- create a playlist of their favorite songs and also include songs that remind you of them .

- surround yourself with people who also share your loss And support one another talk about your memories having a Mutual loss brings you closer together and allows you to have a closer bond and relationship .

- you will always be surrounded by memories everywhere you go but having gifts that the person gave you or objects that belong to the person makes you feel connected to the person.

- writing can be therapeutic  so be creative write letters to the person even if they stay on your device or you could email the letter to the person or if you have their Address you could send it as well. Write a song or a poem about the person it is so important to be able to express your feelings this just gives you a way of communicating to them and something to keep you busy when you miss them.  

- read a book they recommended

- Watch a movie they loved

- immerse yourself in Hobbies and activities they enjoyed incorporate them into your life in anyway possible this includes foods and drinks warning if you truly don't like something they liked or enjoyed don't feel like you have to all of a sudden just to honor the person. However try and step out of your comfort zone whenever  possible.

- remember what the person is teaching you and write it down if possible

- go to the persons favorite places

- share your experience- it's part of the healing process.

https://positivepsychology.com/writing-therapy/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-power-of-writing-3-types-of-therapeutic-writing/

- search therapeutic writing on YouTube

- something else that I want to say here I'm human too I don't try to be an inspiration or a role model I just try to love and guide others