Love & other assets

In this episode of the Love and other assets podcast, Emily Luk welcomes Dr. Megan McCoy. Megan McCoy, Ph.D., LMFT, AFC®, CFT-I™, works in the Financial Planning Department in the College of Health and Human Sciences at Kansas State University where she serves as the program director for the Financial Planning Master's Program. She is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an Accredited Financial Counselor®, and a Certified Financial Therapist-I™. She discusses financial therapy, a field that blends financial planning and mental health, aiming to address the intersection between money and overall well-being. Dr. McCoy shares personal anecdotes about her own journey with money, explaining how her avoidance of finances stemmed from a childhood desire to "save the world" and a belief that making money and saving the world were incompatible. She highlights how individual and couples' beliefs about money often stem from their childhood experiences, emphasizing the need to acknowledge and understand those deeply ingrained beliefs.

The conversation delves into common challenges couples face in navigating financial conversations, including polarization, over and under functioning, and differing spending habits. Dr. McCoy offers practical tips for addressing these challenges, suggesting open communication, understanding individual motivations, and using tools like "I statements". She also stresses the importance of recognizing and celebrating each partner's contributions, even those that may not be immediately visible. The conversation covers the significance of goal setting and the power of breaking down large goals into smaller, achievable steps. She recommends utilizing mental accounting, separating financial goals into distinct buckets, and focusing on experiences over material possessions. Finally, Dr. McCoy encourages listeners to embrace "boring investing" strategies for long-term financial security and reminds them that navigating financial challenges is a journey of growth and learning.

What we discussed

1. Understanding Money Beliefs: Dr. McCoy highlights how personal and couple's beliefs about money are often deeply rooted in childhood experiences and family dynamics. Recognizing and unpacking these beliefs is crucial for healthier financial management.
2. Navigating Financial Conversations: The episode emphasizes the importance of open communication and establishing ground rules for couples when discussing finances. This includes respecting differences, avoiding blame, and focusing on solutions.
3. Addressing Polarization and Role Dynamics: Dr. McCoy discusses how couples can fall into polarized roles, such as the "over-functioner" and the "under-functioner," when it comes to money. She encourages conscious awareness of these patterns and finding ways to share financial responsibilities more equitably.
4. The Importance of Goal Setting and Prioritization: The conversation explores the significance of both individual and shared financial goals. Dr. McCoy suggests breaking down large goals into smaller steps, utilizing mental accounting to manage resources, and understanding the motivations behind each individual's goals.
5. Avoiding Financial Anxiety and Embracing Long-Term Investing: The episode addresses the common fear of investing, particularly after experiencing losses. Dr. McCoy advocates for a long-term, diversified investment strategy and encourages listeners to embrace the power of consistent saving and investing.

Listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Castbox, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform.

Brought to you by Plenty. Plenty is a wealth platform helping modern couples invest and plan for their future together. We bring the investment strategies and products of the wealthy to the everyday household.

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Megan McCoy: Website |LinkedIn |

Connect with Emily Luke: Website | LinkedIn | Twitter

Plenty: Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter

PEOPLE & RESOURCES MENTIONED

Channing Allen

John Gottman

Elizabeth Dunn

Warren Buffett

Financial Therapy Association

Fair Play" by Eve Rodsky

The Gottman Method

This episode of the Love & other assets podcast features a conversation with power couple Douglas and Heather Boneparth. The Boneparth's, authors of "Millennials and Money" and a forthcoming book on navigating power struggles in couples’ finances, offer invaluable insights into the dynamic between love and money, particularly for couples amid career changes, parenthood, and the ever-evolving landscape of modern finances.

They share their story of meeting in college, navigating their careers and the recession, and ultimately coming together to build their business. The Bonaparth's discuss the challenges and joys of working with your spouse, especially when navigating parenthood and the changing dynamics of income and household responsibilities. They emphasize the importance of communication, setting shared goals, and understanding each other's money personalities for a successful partnership. They also reveal their favorite Friday night ritual and their dream trip to Japan. The episode offers insights for couples on managing money, building a business together, and navigating the complexities of modern relationships.

What we discussed

Here are 5 key issues discussed in the episode:

1. Merging Finances and Navigating Debt: The Bonaparth's discuss their experience merging finances with significant student loan debt. This highlights the challenges of starting a relationship with financial burdens and the need for open communication about debt management.
2. Shifting Power Dynamics in Income: The episode explores how power dynamics in a relationship can change as income levels fluctuate. Heather's experience of being the initial breadwinner and then seeing Doug's income surpass hers exemplifies the potential for tension and the need for ongoing conversations about financial contributions.
3. Mental Load of Household Management: Heather emphasizes the significant mental load associated with managing a household, especially with children. This unseen work often falls disproportionately on women, leading to feelings of exhaustion and resentment.
4. Redefining Contribution Beyond Income: The couple challenges traditional views of "contribution," arguing that time, energy, and emotional labor are equally valuable in a relationship. This expands the conversation about equity to encompass more than just financial contributions.
5. Building a Business Together: The episode explores the challenges and rewards of working with your spouse. The Bonaparth's discuss the unique dynamics, communication needs, and potential for both personal and professional growth when building a business as a couple.

Listen to the full episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Overcast, Podcast Addict, Pocket Casts, Castbox, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, or on your favorite podcast platform.

Brought to you by Plenty. Plenty is a wealth platform helping modern couples invest and plan for their future together. We bring the investment strategies and products of the wealthy to the everyday household.

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Douglas Bonepart: Website |LinkedIn | X/Twitter

Connect with Heather Bonepart: Website | X/Twitter | Instagram

Connect with Emily Luke: Website | LinkedIn | Twitter

Plenty: Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter

PEOPLE & RESOURCES MENTIONED

Channing Allen

Bone Fide Wealth

The Joint Account

Our Tiny Rebellions

The Millennial Money Fix

Welcome to the first episode of "Love & other assets," the podcast for where love and money meet. Hosted by Emily Luk, CPA, CFA, and co-founder of Plenty (withplenty.com), we demystify the financial decisions and relationship convos that today’s couples face.  In this episode, Emily sits down with Adam Nash, CEO and co-founder of Daffy.org, and delves into their experiences in Silicon Valley, building successful startups, and navigating the complexities of relationships in the modern age.

Emily and Adam explore the importance of navigating financial decisions within partnerships. They emphasize the significance of building a life together and viewing finances as a shared endeavor rather than individual interests. Adam highlights the need to recognize and respect each partner's fears, interests, and skill sets, advocating for a balanced approach that suits the couple's dynamics.

Emily underscores the value of providing visibility and education within financial tools to ensure both partners can actively participate in decision-making. They discuss how Plenty's product is designed to accommodate different levels of involvement while encouraging shared understanding and involvement in financial matters.

The conversation leaves listeners with a reminder to approach financial decisions within partnerships with understanding, communication, and a shared sense of purpose.

What We discussed: 

The Fintech Evolution: Adam Nash reflects on his extensive career in Silicon Valley and the evolution of Fintech, emphasizing technology's role in solving valuable financial problems for individuals, highlighting the importance of trust and accessibility in financial services.

Building Daffy: Empowering Generosity: Adam Nash shares the founding story of Daffy.org and his vision to leverage technology to foster a culture of generosity and make charitable giving accessible to all. The concept of donor-advised funds and their potential to amplify individuals' charitable impact.

Investing in Innovation: Adam Nash reflects on his experience as an angel investor in numerous startups, sharing insights into the startup ecosystem and the importance of supporting early-stage entrepreneurs. The significance of angel investors in driving innovation and entrepreneurship, shaping the future of technology.

Navigating Finances as a Couple: Adam Nash shares insights from teaching personal finance at Stanford University, emphasizing the importance of communication and trust in managing finances as a couple. The strategies for couples to effectively navigate financial conversations, align their goals, and build a secure financial future together.

Adam is offering Love & other assets listeners an extra $25 for charity when they sign-up for Daffy with his invite link: https://www.daffy.org/adamnash/invite   

Brought to you by Plenty. Plenty is a financial platform where modern couples invest and plan for their future together.

SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE

Connect with Adam Nash: Website |LinkedIn | X/Twitter

Connect with Emily Luke: Website | LinkedIn | Twitter

Plenty: Website | Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter

PEOPLE & RESOURCES MENTIONED

Channing Allen

Daffy.org

Stanford University

IRA (Individual Retirement Account)

401k (Retirement savings plan)

529 Plan (Education savings plan)

Donor Advised Fund (DAF)

Family Office