• Show intro jokes about smooth opening and host banter

• Colette praised for wide range of talks and promo work

• Desire to do more public speaking but lacking demand

• Upcoming Rollins College talk on communication and conflict

• Online dating class with Wing Girl on sustaining attraction

• Focus on connection after early dating stages

• Zoom classes for global audience comfort

• Older men dating younger women discussion

• Ethics and realism of large age gaps

• Kate Hudson libido comments referenced

• Debate on biological attraction vs emotional connection

• Preference for partners closer in age

• Discomfort with dating very young adults

• Attraction seen as situational not always intentional

• Relationship dynamics vary by needs and personality

• Some prefer submissive partners, others reject it

• Attraction to confidence, intelligence, independence

• Questioning father-daughter dynamic relationships

• Acknowledging some age-gap relationships are healthy

• Transactional relationships can still include care

• Emphasis on consent and awareness in dynamics

• Self-improvement before dating others

• Be yourself means improve, not stay stagnant

• Importance of communication and social skills

• Difference between casual dating and meaningful connection

• Key traits: kindness, curiosity, attentiveness

• Thoughtfulness stands out in disconnected culture

• Attraction can grow from consistency over time

• Preference for steady behavior over love bombing

• Balance showing interest without overwhelming

• Emotional connection built through deeper conversations

• Listener question on knowing romantic interest

• Confusion between friendliness and flirting

• Physical touch as possible but unreliable signal

• Importance of emotional awareness and perception

• Cultural habits influence touch and behavior

• Signs of interest: leaning in, engagement, attention

• Difficulty reading signals accurately

• Friendships can evolve into relationships

• Friend zone debate not always permanent

• Rejection experiences and emotional impact

• Asking directly for clarity encouraged

• Clear communication reduces uncertainty

• Risk of changing dynamic when asking

• Better to clarify early to avoid deeper hurt

• Soft rejection phrasing suggested

• Attraction often immediate and subconscious

• Sometimes attraction grows, often it does not

• Courage needed to ask despite fear

• Rejection seen as useful information

• Clarity helps decision making in relationships

• Avoid situationships by defining intent early

• Vulnerability required for real connection

• Practice builds resilience to rejection

• Confidence grows through repeated rejection

• Humor and personality increase dating success

• Example of David Spade success style

• Nikki Glaser relationship dynamic discussed

• Non monogamy acknowledged but not preferred

• Open relationships carry emotional risks

• Jealousy and attachment complications noted

• Celebrity rumor: Mike Vrabel and Diana Russini

• Debate over interpreting public photos

• Physical closeness suggests blurred boundaries

• Environment adds suspicion to behavior

• New attraction visible through behavior

• Emotional involvement possible without cheating

• Gender bias in public backlash discussed

• Impact of cheating scandals on families

• Some couples stay together after scandals

• Controversy turned into career opportunities

• Monica Lewinsky reputation shift discussed

• Power imbalance in Clinton scandal noted

• Media bias against women highlighted

• Double standards in infidelity narratives

• Satirical take on defending male figures

• Promo for Fairvilla Megastore talk

• Topic: The Cost of Quiet and communication

• Importance of discussing sex and intimacy

• Taboo around intimacy harms relationships

• Encouragement to improve communication

• Closing jokes and outro banter

• Hormone therapy benefits include energy, sleep, overall health, and balanced estrogen, testosterone, progesterone

• Promo offer 100 off evaluation through MyEternalVitality with podcast mention

• Ghosting in jobs and relationships as avoidance of hard conversations

• Ghosting framed as self protection and discomfort avoidance

• Short term ease of ghosting vs long term lack of growth

• Ghosting causes psychological harm without closure

• Simple respectful breakup communication is healthier

• Practice difficult conversations to build resilience

• The Cost of Quiet concept in relationships

• Complaining about partners as common bonding behavior

• Difference between joking complaints and disrespect

• Complaining erodes trust and respect over time

• Triangulating by venting to others instead of partner

• Avoiding direct communication prevents resolution

• Emotional release reinforces complaining habit

• Possible addiction to complaining from emotional feedback

• Seeking validation replaces solving problems

• Group venting creates bias and one sided narratives

• Occasional support vs habitual partner bashing

• Protect relationship by addressing issues directly

• Maintain a strong couple bubble instead of public criticism

• Speaking positively about partner builds respect

• Public complaints damage emotional safety

• Avoiding hard conversations is a core issue

• Social media encourages oversharing relationship issues

• Illusion of privacy leads to saying more than intended

• Venting online replaces real problem solving

• Lack of communication skills drives online venting

• Cultural stigma around emotions contributes to avoidance

• Internet offers easy emotional release without resolution

• Communication skills improve relationship outcomes

• How a conversation starts affects its outcome

• Negative online content gains traction by attacking groups

• Listener email about emotional neglect of men during miscarriage

• Men expected to be strong and overlook their own grief

• Feeling unseen and unsupported after shared loss

• Male emotions often minimized leading to suppression

• Lack of validation leads to isolation and silence

• Difficulty expressing vulnerability after being ignored

• Miscarriage impact on fathers often overlooked

• People miss emotional cues or respond poorly

• Negative emotions outweigh positive perception

• Importance of one trusted person or therapist

• Therapy as reliable emotional outlet

• Friends may care but lack emotional skills

• Emotional talks make people uncomfortable

• Not everyone is safe for vulnerability

• Be direct when asking for support

• Suppressed emotions lead to anxiety and depression

• Therapy helps organize thoughts before conversations

• Avoid using friends as emotional dumping grounds

• Professionals provide healthier processing outlet

• Process emotions before communicating effectively

• Organized communication improves understanding

• Shared hobbies discussed as bonding tool

• Couples with shared hobbies seen as appealing

• Shared hobbies not required for success

• Separate interests can still support happy relationships

• Consider shared interests when dating if important

• Social media exaggerates shared hobby importance

• Attraction to different interests is normal

• Showing interest in partner hobbies builds connection

• Asking questions shows care and support

• Effort matters more than genuine enthusiasm

• Small efforts create emotional bonding

• Participate occasionally without full commitment

• Avoid over involvement that harms partner enjoyment

• Communicate boundaries around hobbies

• Balance individual and shared activities

• One shared activity can help connection

• Do not force participation without interest

• Partial participation is reasonable

• Listening to partner interests shows care

• Supporting partner projects builds connection

• Effort framed as love not obligation

• Offer help without taking control

• Ask how to help instead of assuming

• Mansplaining identified as frustrating behavior

• Over explaining can undermine partner

• Light humor about daily annoyances and household habits

• Promotion of relationship book on communication

• Mention of relationship focused podcast as resource

###

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Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw

Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s

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Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s

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• Sponsor promo for MyEternalVitality.com and Dr Powers offering $100 off hormone evaluation and blood testing

• Discussion of hormone replacement therapy improving energy, libido, sleep, and overall quality of life

• Mention of gut health testing and identifying foods that trigger inflammation

• Dan plans to begin a gut health regimen after recovering from hip surgery

• Introduction to the Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Tom Vann, Dan Dennis, and Colette Fehr

• Conversation about manners and Dan's Southern upbringing expecting men to let women enter first

• Invitation for listeners to email relationship questions to [email protected]

• Hosts promise listener submissions will remain anonymous

• Listener email about tension caused by a spouse frequently expressing negative daily commentary

• Husband describes himself as an optimistic personality who assumes everything is fine

• Wife framed as focusing more on frustrations and problems in everyday situations

• Husband feels drained and anxious hearing frequent negative comments

• Husband internalizes his wife's venting as problems he must solve

• Wife explains she wants to express feelings rather than have problems fixed

• Husband tracked a week of conversations and estimated 68 percent were negative

• Wife responds that keeping score of comments is unreasonable

• Listener couple has been together for 26 years

• Therapist explains both partners can have valid perspectives simultaneously

• Couples often argue about wording or evidence instead of emotional impact

• Explanation that negativity bias is natural in the human brain as a survival trait

• Advice to communicate about emotional bandwidth before venting

• Suggestion to ask if the other partner has space to listen first

• Importance of balancing one partner's need to vent with the other's mental energy

• Emphasis that neither partner is wrong but communication boundaries are needed

• Joke about rounding the negativity percentage to 69 percent for comedy

• Discussion of switching between problem solving mode and listening mode in conversations

• Turning off the urge to solve problems can reduce emotional exhaustion while listening

• Some people naturally internalize others' emotions more strongly than others

• Upbringing and family roles can influence a person's urge to fix problems

• Spouses sometimes look overwhelmed while waiting for venting to end

• Reminder that partners are not responsible for solving every emotional problem

• Some people process emotions externally and need to talk things out

• Both partners' emotional needs and limits matter in conversations

• Emotions can be contagious and repeated negativity can affect listeners

• Partners can set boundaries when they lack energy to listen

• Joke about hiring someone else to listen to venting like a therapist

• Spouses can unintentionally become each other's emotional dumping ground

• Listening deeply requires more emotional energy than talking

• Importance of balancing emotional sharing to avoid overwhelming a partner

• Example of business owners venting work stress to spouses

• Suggestion to share general stress instead of long detailed rants

• Partners may feel overwhelmed hearing repeated work complaints

• Strategy of postponing discussions until both partners have energy

• Empathic people may absorb others' stress strongly

• Mirror neuron responses can cause emotional absorption from others

• Therapists learn emotional boundaries to avoid carrying clients' problems home

• Advice to remind yourself another person's problems are not yours to carry

• Encouragement to communicate personal limits without guilt

• Setting boundaries may disappoint someone but is still healthy

• Failure to set boundaries can lead to codependency and resentment

• Difficult conversations often start when partners are tired or hungry

• Hangry moods can make emotional discussions worse

• Advice to avoid serious talks when tired, drunk, or texting

• Emotional conversations require tone and context that texting lacks

• Warning that waiting for the perfect moment can become avoidance

• Communication compared to ping pong where partners check timing and reschedule

• Relationship communication improves through repeated practice like building muscle

• Start practicing vulnerability with small issues first

• Focus on expressing personal feelings rather than attacking a partner

• Positive responses reinforce healthy communication habits

• New listener email asks what personal information should be disclosed when dating

• Discussion about timing and context for revealing sensitive personal information

• Sexually transmitted diseases must be disclosed before physical intimacy

• STD discussion on a first date may not be necessary unless sex is involved

• Serious legal issues like domestic violence should be disclosed early

• Major life factors like children or divorce should be shared early

• Honesty about personal issues builds trust and emotional safety in dating

• Strategy of revealing flaws early so partners can choose whether to continue

• Around the third date suggested as a time for deeper personal disclosure

• Warning against trauma dumping too early while dating

• Example discussion about dating while still legally married but separated

• People have different boundaries about dating someone still married

• Early honesty may cause rejection but prevents bigger problems later

• Example of a background check revealing a criminal charge before a date

• Withholding important information can damage trust later

• Discussion of whether to keep dating someone with a troubling background check

• Explaining past legal issues may change how someone interprets them

• Humor about excuses for criminal charges like public urination

• Promotion of Colette Fehr's book The Cost of Quiet and its audiobook narration

• Colette exits the show segment while traveling for her book tour

• Hosts joke they are less qualified to give advice without the therapist

• Self deprecating humor about giving bad relationship advice

• Explanation that the radio version must fill a fixed time slot

• Hosts continue reading listener emails without the therapist present

• Reflection that the hosts feel they have learned little after months of the show

• Discussion about the ups and downs of long term marriage

• Example of one host staying upset for weeks after a conflict

• Joke about blaming a spouse rather than oneself during relationship issues

• Contrast between blaming oneself in business and blaming a partner at home

• Reflection that personal behavior patterns may not support healthy relationships

• Story about a friend blaming his partner during a relationship conflict

• Confronting a partner rarely improves relationship problems

• Hosts discuss learning small relationship lessons from Colette's advice

• Recognizing unhealthy patterns in others as personal progress

• Strategy of ending arguments early when discussions turn negative

• Admission of previously repeating points in circular arguments

• Effort to reduce repetitive arguing and escalation

• Encouragement for listeners to reflect on whether the show helps their relationships

• Relationship improvement compared to gradual progress from consistent habits

• Reminder that listener emails remain anonymous

• Listener question about how much planning is needed for a good date night

• Discussion about balancing preparation versus spontaneity in dating

• Suggestion that the listener may be overthinking date planning

• Many great dates happen spontaneously rather than through strict plans

• Couples can enjoy unplanned adventures together

• Difference between loose adventure planning and traditional date nights

• Pressure to plan elaborate or spectacular dates in relationships

• Running joke about planning a dinner with Shamu date

• Story about failed planning leading to fallback dates like Chili's

• Humor and the right partner can make simple dates enjoyable

• First dates should remain casual rather than extravagant

• Elaborate first dates can create awkward pressure

• Choose comfortable low pressure locations for early dates

• Avoid spending large amounts of money on a first date

• Obsessing over a perfect date can lead to disappointment

• Unrealistic expectations can ruin enjoyment during a date

• Maintain a positive attitude and focus on having fun together

• Casual activity dates like Hooters or theme park outings discussed

• Activities with distractions can help dates feel relaxed

• Self criticism can ruin otherwise enjoyable dates

• Hosts share personal experiences of overthinking dates

• Story about celebrating an anniversary at the Enzian theater patio

• Familiar places and shared memories often create meaningful dates

• Comfortable environments can produce the best relationship moments

• Acknowledgment that the therapist would likely give better advice

• Invitation for listeners to email relationship questions

• Reminder that listener emails are handled anonymously

• Encouragement for listeners to rate and review the podcast online

###

Social Media https://tomanddan.com https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive https://facebook.com/amediocretime https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive

Where to Find the Show Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-mediocre-time/id334142682 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2FtZWRpb2NyZXRpbWUvcG9kY2FzdC54bWw TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Mediocre-Time-p364156/

Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990 Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s TuneIn: https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/

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• Introduction to the Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Dan Dennis, Tom Vann, and Colette Fehr

• Breaking news discussion about Britney Spears reportedly being arrested for DUI

• Lack of confirmed details about the Britney Spears arrest including no mugshot or BAC yet

• Discussion of Britney Spears conservatorship and whether it was helpful or harmful

• Speculation that Britney Spears may still struggle without the structure of the conservatorship

• Therapist warning against diagnosing celebrities based on social media clips

• Discussion of the mental health impact of becoming extremely famous at a young age

• Idea that some celebrities emotionally freeze at the age they become famous

• Example of Bam Margera appearing stuck in adolescent behavior

• Discussion of how people can remain trapped in youthful personality patterns

• Colette playfully challenging Tom and Dan during the show

• Joke that listener ratings increase when Colette pushes back on the hosts

• Story about feeling out of place at Colette book launch event

• Event attendees praising Tom and Dan for humor and vulnerability

• Story about a dance mom praising Dan honesty about bedroom struggles

• Tom reflecting on how he behaves differently as a father versus on the show

• Realization that humor and playfulness bond better with kids than strict discipline

• Comparison between drill sergeant dad and fun dad parenting styles

• Reference to Shaquille O Neal strict stepfather as an example of tough parenting

• Discussion of balancing discipline work ethic and fun in parenting

• Colette describing her father as both serious and fun

• Dan remembering his father as extremely funny and valuing those memories

• Emphasis on humor as a powerful bonding tool between parents and children

• Discussion of fathers modeling both strength and emotional openness

• Colette explaining vulnerability as a core principle of healthy relationships

• Discussion of her book The Cost of Quiet and its ideas about honesty and openness

• Explanation that past trauma often makes people emotionally guarded

• Argument that authentic communication is natural human behavior

• Claim that practicing vulnerability improves life satisfaction and relationships

• Discussion of struggling to be vulnerable with family despite doing it on the show

• Recognition that practicing vulnerability publicly is still meaningful progress

• Explanation that some people avoid vulnerability due to unsafe childhood environments

• Discussion of cultural expectations that men should be strong and silent

• Debate over the claim that women punish men for vulnerability

• Therapist perspective that partners usually respond positively to real vulnerability

• Idea that vulnerability often creates emotional closeness in relationships

• Explanation that humans are social herd animals wired for connection

• Research claim that strong relationships predict long happy lives

• Discussion of the paradox of wanting connection while fearing rejection

• Fear of judgment arguments rejection or abandonment blocking emotional openness

• Idea that vulnerability invites vulnerability from others

• Analogy comparing emotional growth to iron sharpens iron

• Argument that emotional armor creates distance in relationships

• Introduction of Shaquille O Neal comments about never opening up to women

• Shaq claim that vulnerability is a trap that can be used against men

• Discussion of Shaq belief that women weaponize men emotions during conflict

• Background about Shaq biological father leaving and strict stepfather raising him

• Discussion of generational differences in emotional communication among men

• Observation that older generations of men rarely talked about feelings

• Personal examples of families where men never discussed emotions

• Debate over whether emotional silence among men is typical

• Explanation that emotional suppression has been historically common

• Discussion of what opening up emotionally actually means

• Examples of men admitting fear sadness or insecurity

• Observation that some men are naturally more emotionally expressive

• Therapist noting many male clients share fears about vulnerability

• Explanation that men often hide doubts and insecurities to avoid appearing weak

• Common fear that vulnerability will be weaponized later in arguments

• Idea that past betrayal or trauma shapes vulnerability fears

• Example of past infidelity affecting trust in later relationships

• Warning against projecting past trauma onto new partners

• Discussion of how upbringing shapes emotional defenses

• Speculation that Shaq fame and life experiences reinforced emotional guardedness

• Humorous aside about Shaq and his former wife height difference

• Discussion of emotional sharing as a core function of adult partnerships

• Example of business partners sharing fears and stress to support each other

• Claim that suppressing emotions cuts people off from relationship support

• Therapist explanation that fear of vulnerability is central in couples therapy

• Explanation of limbic system response making rejection feel devastating

• Concept of corrective emotional experiences retraining the brain to trust

• Argument that avoiding vulnerability isolates people from connection

• Discussion of many people behaving similarly to Shaq emotionally

• Praise for practicing emotional openness within partnerships

• Idea that strong relationships improve overall quality of life

• Discussion of research linking relationships to longer lifespan

• Reference to Harvard Study of Adult Development on connection and longevity

• Claim that emotional isolation increases illness and early death risk

• Comparison between emotional growth and physical training

• Advice to start vulnerability with small emotional disclosures

• Personal example involving misophonia and sound sensitivity

• Explanation of irritation triggered by specific eating or scraping noises

• Strategy of framing triggers as personal struggles rather than blaming a partner

• Story about overreacting to loud scraping noises from a glass bowl

• Realization that anger in small conflicts often masks hurt feelings

• Example of deeper hurt feeling ignored or not listened to

• Discussion of repairing conflict after reacting badly in the moment

• Advice to start hard conversations by affirming the importance of the relationship

• Strategy of explaining feedback comes from wanting closeness

• Recommendation to apologize cleanly without excuses or buts

• Suggestion to ask permission to revisit issues later

• Advice to keep repair conversations short and manageable

• Distinction between sharing feelings and criticizing a partner

• Explanation that accusations trigger defensive survival responses

• Idea that naming hurt beneath anger creates connection

• Difference between saying you do not care and saying I feel like you do not care

• Concept of the negative partner story shaping relationship perception

• Explanation that personal history and triggers shape these stories

• Warning that small unresolved hurts make negative stories feel real

• Discussion of resentment building when problems go unspoken

• Benefit of focusing on personal feelings rather than judging a partner

• Principle of not owning other people reactions to respectful communication

• Emotional maturity defined as tolerating another person upset response

• Acknowledgment that kind feedback may still trigger defensiveness

• Suggestion to address patterns of repeated defensive reactions

• Recognition that some people struggle to hear feedback due to lack of personal work

• Assertion that people still deserve to express what bothers them

• Claim that suppressing problems is more damaging than discussing them

• Warning that avoided issues harm emotional and physical health

• Episode wrap up promoting Colette Fehr book The Cost of Quiet

• Mention of the audiobook version narrated by Colette

• Hosts discussing listening to the audiobook during busy schedules

• Light joking about one host having more free time than the other

• Explanation that the book focuses on simple actionable communication strategies

• Emphasis that the book includes relatable real life relationship examples

• Tease for a future episode focused on listener relationship emails

• Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor relationship show with Colette Fehr

• Dan Dennis present and joking about liking being called Dan Dennis

• Story behind Dan calling Tom "T" tied to Tom's late brother Tim

• New segment idea interviewing listener couples about relationships on Zoom

• First listener couple introduced Dan and Shanna

• Tom jokes about grading their relationship compared to his own marriage

• Tom rates his 18 year marriage a C+

• Debate whether long marriages automatically mean successful relationships

• Colette explains longevity alone does not equal relationship quality

• Couple interview format introduced for relationship discussions

• Dan and Shanna explain they met nine years ago

• Their relationship has been long distance between Georgia and Florida

• Distance due to each having teenagers still in school

• Plan to live in the same city after kids graduate

• Discussion of challenges of long distance relationships

• Colette shares experience with a failed long distance relationship

• Couple schedules visits months ahead to stay connected

• They see each other most weekends or every other weekend

• Early relationship involved meeting halfway and staying in motels

• Story of how they met through Twitter/X after a podcast connection

• Attraction built through humor and online banter before meeting

• Physical attraction confirmed after meeting in person

• Humor discussed as a strong attraction factor in relationships

• Dan introduces Shanna to the Tom and Dan podcast

• Joke about couples not sharing the same podcast interests

• Discussion of issues when long distance couples finally live together

• Example of military couples struggling after living together full time

• Concern that weekend relationships avoid daily stressors

• Colette notes strong body language and connection between the couple

• Warning that daily compatibility can still challenge long distance couples

• Example of a long distance marriage collapsing after moving together

• Couple explains what makes them compatible

• They intentionally do normal daily routines during visits

• Normal annoyance after several days together described as healthy

• Discussion of couples who stay married but live in separate houses

• Trend of living apart together relationships among adults

• Example of couples maintaining relationships while living separately

• Cost and logistics prevent many couples from trying the arrangement

• Dan shares family tension between Andrea and Maisie after crafting together

• Andrea uses a go to your corners rule to cool off arguments

• Temporary personal space helps reset emotions during conflict

• Relationship advice about taking timeouts during arguments

• Reference to couples timeout concept from Colette's book The Cost of Quiet

• Importance of emotional regulation before continuing arguments

• Couple explains how they handle conflict and hard conversations

• Earlier arguments were intense due to stubborn personalities

• Communication improved significantly over the last three years

• Practice of letting partners fully speak and validating feelings

• Emphasis on listening rather than fixing problems immediately

• Some conflicts require understanding rather than solutions

• One partner self imposes timeouts to avoid saying hurtful things

• Therapist explains timeouts prevent damaging statements in fights

• Cooling off helps people return to a calmer adult mindset

• Words said in anger can permanently damage relationships

• Conversation shifts to sexual compatibility in relationships

• Question about how long distance affects sexual frequency

• Discussion of libido expectations in long term relationships

• Joke about having sex soon after hip replacement surgery

• Anticipation increases excitement before long distance visits

• Fear of rejection after expecting sex during visits

• Discussion of pouting or silent treatment after sexual rejection

• Admission silent treatment was previously used after rejection

• Partner explains the behavior causes emotional shutdown

• Pressure for sex reduces desire and intimacy

• Mismatched libido occurs in most couples

• Importance of compromise with different sex drives

• Couple tries to meet each other's sexual needs

• Story about spontaneous sex in airport and airplane bathrooms

• Therapist observes strong chemistry between the couple

• Importance of maintaining sexual connection over time

• Advice to discuss sexual desires and fantasies openly

• Many people feel uncomfortable discussing sex

• Long term couples must adapt as attraction and libido change

• Hormones and emotional connection influence sexual desire

• Importance of communicating sexual preferences and concerns

• Emotional intimacy strongly affects sexual desire

• Dan reflects on past arguments about mismatched libido

• Expecting sex to happen naturally caused frustration

• Directly asking for intimacy can be healthier than passive anger

• Debate between spontaneous romance and directly asking for sex

• Initiating sex requires vulnerability and risk of rejection

• Couples often expect partners to read their minds

• Men and women both assume mind reading in relationships

• Discussion of gender roles around initiating sex

• Humor about sexual dynamics in relationships

• Therapist asks the couple what challenges remain

• Earlier conflicts were more reactive and intense

• Communication maturity reduced conflict severity

• Learning to acknowledge responsibility for hurtful behavior

• Shift toward calmer and more mature communication

• Joke about both partners being passionate Leos

• Therapist praises their accountability and effort in communication

• Learning to fight constructively described as a relationship skill

• Importance of apologizing even when harm was unintended

• Partners must care about emotional impact of their actions

• Therapist concludes the couple shows strong relationship habits

• Discussion of grading the couple's relationship

• Skepticism that couples show their best behavior during interviews

• Question about how often the couple communicates while apart

• Couple talks three to four times per day

• Morning, after work, and bedtime check in calls

• Zoom used to maintain visual connection during distance

• Short calls used simply to say love you and stay connected

• Consistent communication shows relationship priority

• Healthy habits matter more than having no problems

• Key habits include accountability validation communication and support

• These habits help couples handle future challenges

• Therapist gives the couple a high relationship evaluation

• Host jokingly gives them a C+ slightly above his own marriage

• Invitation for other listener couples to join future interviews

• Promotion of Colette Fehr book The Cost of Quiet

• Audiobook version narrated by Colette Fehr

• Closing remarks and tease for the next episode

• Love Thy Neighbor show intro with therapist Colette Fehr

• Discussion of book The Cost of Quiet on Audible

• Characters Morgan and Leo overview

• Leo emotionally distant provider father

• Morgan carrying most parenting duties

• Morgan reconnects with ex and has affair

• Can emotional neglect feel worse than cheating

• Immediate villainizing of the cheating partner

• Gender bias in judging infidelity

• Disconnection caused by poor communication

• Affairs driven by emotional needs vs physical urges

• Therapy sometimes labels one partner the problem

• Increase in female infidelity cases in therapy

• Emotional vs transactional cheating debate

• Happy ending massage framed as non emotional cheating

• Lack of emotion does not excuse betrayal

• Emotional cheating may hurt more than physical

• Some partners see any cheating as unforgivable

• Confession scenarios and perceived threat levels

• Emotional attachment viewed as most damaging

• Reconnecting with ex online as emotional cheating

• Boundary defined by secrecy from partner

• Public shaming and social stigma examples

• Women judged harsher than men for affairs

• Many couples repair relationships after infidelity

• Healing commonly takes years

• Anger followed by willingness to work together

• Kids love and shared life influence reconciliation

• Affairs often symptom not sole cause of divorce

• Long term neglect leads to seeking connection elsewhere

• Self reflection emphasized over blame

• Sexual dissatisfaction used as justification

• Mutual blame increases toxicity

• Therapy fixes dynamics not villains

• Relationship treated as one unit

• Betrayal examined along with prior issues

• Listener worried about spouse close to ex

• Trusting discomfort vs self doubt

• Boundaries vary by comfort levels

• Micro betrayals through texting and closeness

• Calm boundary communication shows maturity

• Conflict avoidance suppresses needs

• Ignored boundaries require relationship decisions

• Validate feelings even in disagreement

• Relationship health over being technically right

• Avoid tempting situations

• Ongoing contact with ex seen as risky

• Balance respect and jealousy

• Express fears openly

• Reactions often less severe than expected

• Acknowledging fears reduces anxiety

• Accept people instead of trying to change them

• Evaluate staying after honest communication

• Therapy and medication support during crises

• Antidepressants reduce anxiety and conflict

• Personal experiences using medication in grief

• Destigmatizing mental health treatment

• Closing promotion of The Cost of Quiet

###

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Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/)

Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

• Coordinated show opening banter

• Colette forgets makeup and panics before recording

• Tom provides emergency mascara from truck kit

• Nearly hitting Colette in the parking lot while distracted

• Busy schedules and constant business work

• Mascara as minimum presentable look

• Keeping emergency makeup at the studio

• Expired mascara and pink eye risk

• Previous emergency makeup stored in Tom vehicle

• Fear spouse learns another woman used the makeup

• Jokes about trust and jealousy over shared items

• Hiding the incident and trusting audience not to tell

• Transition into long term relationship fatigue

• Working together increases irritation and familiarity

• Everyone has annoying habits and blind spots

• Over communication anxiety and being particular

• Questioning logic behind stories and actions

• Difficulty suspending disbelief in TV and media

• Logic driven vs emotion driven perspectives

• Emotions matter even when intentions were harmless

• Apologizing without defensiveness

• Listening to feedback to repair relationships

• Need for space vs constant communication

• Talking openly to maintain relationships

• Taking criticism without immediate explanation

• Attachment makes criticism feel threatening

• Defensiveness driven by fear of losing connection

• Amygdala hijack during arguments

• Emotional expression varies even in same family

• Personality wiring differences

• Genetic and environmental influence on emotions

• Emotions as biological signals tied to needs

• Share feelings instead of yelling or blame

• Validate emotions instead of fixing them

• Science based explanation helps logical partners empathize

• Emotional education improves relationships

• Complementary strengths balance weaknesses

• Traits that attract also annoy partners

• Passionate vs logical intimacy differences

• Humor about AI partners and sex robots

• Arranged marriages lasting longer discussion

• Unconscious attraction patterns in partner choice

• Repeating family of origin relationship dynamics

• Therapy helps change unhealthy attraction patterns

• Self awareness over chemistry alone

• Reconsidering tolerance for bad behavior

• Promotion of relationship advice book

• Audiobook narration quality discussion

• Practical communication tools for couples

###

Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive)

Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/)

Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)

• Introduction to Love Thy Neighbor with Dan, Tom, and Colette Fair

• Playful debate over old school chivalry and introducing women

• Promoting Colette Fair podcast and her book The Cost of Quiet

• How traditional chivalry feels awkward to younger generations

• Southern manners like yes maam and holding doors

• Bathroom door mishaps lead to installing occupied slider sign

• Anxiety over helping women with heavy boxes

• Chivalry anxiety and overthinking polite gestures

• Debate: polite vs sexist door holding

• Observing fewer door holders in New York vs the South

• Chivalry as dating charm and intentional courting behavior

• Holding doors for everyone vs gender specific gestures

• Performative manners vs real respect

• Kids questioning equality and why boys should do extra

• Mixed cultural messages about equality and roles

• Preferring chivalry in marriage over strangers

• Helping with airplane luggage as practical kindness

• Metro dilemma over offering seat to marathon runner

• Safer approach: simply ask if someone wants help

• Generational divide over manners and equality

• Colette appearance on The Tamron Hall Show

• Airing details across ABC, CW, Hulu timing uncertainty

• SoHo studio experience and traditional TV production

• Other shows filmed there: The View, GMA, Kelly and Mark

• Live audience of 110 receiving her book

• Scale of national TV production behind the scenes

• Pre show nerves despite long media career

• All day anticipation anxiety before live events

• Calm once actually on stage or on camera

• Similar dread before hosting live beer fests

• Public speaking fear as herd survival instinct

• Exhaustion from recurring pre event anxiety

• Accepting that stage fear may never fully disappear

• Using self soothing tools from her book

• Live TV pressure as on call expert

• Feeling thrown off by unexpected questions

• Topic focused on mothers in law and difficult family dynamics

• Applying romantic communication tools to family conflict

• Mothers feeling threatened by sons partners

• Clarifying language around moving on from parents

• Self consciousness under studio lights

• Fear of underperforming on national TV

• Post show memory blur and replay anxiety

• Spontaneous audience applause as validation

• Rising trend of family cut offs via social media culture

• When cut offs are appropriate vs avoidance

• Emphasizing communication and boundaries first

• Personal hurt from longtime friend during book launch

• Temptation to cut off instead of confront

• Avoiding triangulation through mutual friends

• Questioning intent vs impact in conflict

• Accepting shift in closeness without drama

• Redirecting energy to reciprocal relationships

• Never give up mindset can prolong unhealthy ties

• Middle ground before full cut off

• Trust built through repeated repair attempts

• Deciding to accept relationship as is or move on

• Cultural narrative of sons leaving mothers for partners

• Anxiety among mothers of sons after marriage

• Advice: be warm and non judgmental to sons partner

• Avoid power struggles and control tactics

• Positive example of respectful mother in law relationship

• Tamron show featured repaired and permanent cut offs

• Tease: what to do when you are sick of your partner

• Book plug for The Cost of Quiet and audiobook praise

• Invitation for listener emails

###

Social Media [https://tomanddan.com](https://tomanddan.com) [https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive](https://twitter.com/tomanddanlive) [https://facebook.com/amediocretime](https://facebook.com/amediocretime) [https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive](https://instagram.com/tomanddanlive)

Tom & Dan on Real Radio 104.1 Apple Podcasts: [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990](https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-corporate-time/id975258990) Google Podcasts: [https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s](https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL2Fjb3Jwb3JhdGV0aW1lL3BvZGNhc3QueG1s) TuneIn: [https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/](https://tunein.com/podcasts/Comedy/A-Corporate-Time-p1038501/)

Exclusive Content [https://tomanddan.com/registration](https://tomanddan.com/registration)