If you are meeting, you may know some things already. Know at least the basics of what you want. Usually dating sites can help with this, but they might not provide everything you’re looking for in terms of information. If you can get a picture of the person in the context of what you’re looking for before meeting up …. without being too unnatural in conversation …. then go for it. Having someone (like a shadchan/matchmaker  or a genuine friend) makes getting intellectual questions like “how many kids” easier because they can ask in a more formal way and it feels like a screening which is an honest approach when what you're doing is actually, openly, and honestly screening. Don’t feel bad to perform screening by these means, keeping it natural and polite, because what you’re looking for is YOUR HUSBAND / YOUR WIFE / YOUR BESHERT!

So why meet? To find out if you’re comfortable around this person. ALSO, to ask any of these intellectual questions which are perhaps too personal to ask online and without full context. 

Questions like 

“Do you want kids? How many kids do you wish to have?” 

-- should not be coming up 2 months later because what you’re aiming for is clarity. 

Make a list of everything that you value. Include points within the physical, emotional, and especially intellectual categories. 

Finally, how do you feel? The first moment may have a bit of unease, but it shouldn’t be long lasting at all, and in fact - that person should make you comfortable with who you are.  Be mindful during the meeting to notice how you feel, and how the other person interacts with you and those around them. “Are they gentle, kind, funny, lively etc…?”

Afterwards, go introspective and ask yourself, how did the other person make you feel? Write it down, keep it so that you can make decisions off of it. Remember, you’re looking for the one who will be the closest to you, forever -- so, all of it matters.  

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LVH 45 Ahava 23 DatingF5

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Money Money Money is a famous song which Abba sang some time ago. It’s reflective of the sad situation that many organizations are in. Rabbi Paul noticed the horrible imbalance of how money is handled and asked for. There was fiscal abuse, and he was addressing it of the freedom to ask for money.

Indulgences was practice that was akin to stealing money under the pretense that it was giving salvation to those souls who had passed away. This is very similar to how things are these days with preachers saying “Come give money, plant the “seed” … and get your blessing.” Practices like that affect us all, and we have to be careful to protect each other when it comes to cheats and frauds who are in it for themselves, the lavish life, money, and all else aside from HaShem’s purposes which greatly involves being OTHERS focused. A great example of the proper way to treat money is the organization - Ephrata Ministries (of Pennsylvania) 

http://www.ephrataministries.org (I’m in not fiscally associated in any way btw) 

A the beginning of November annually, and for a full week …. you receive room and board PLUS Torah learning, song singing, fellowship. BTW the food is amazing! It’s called Youth Bible School. Guess how much all of this is? $100 …. Yea, one can hardly get a great hotel stay at that price, let alone a get-away all-expenses-paid growth-oriented week-full of blessed Torah study. It’s beautiful. They're an example of how organizations striving to be godly should be run. Check out the school as November approaches. (or just stop in in general)       

Here’s an example of the 2018 Youth Bible School registration - http://www.ephrataministries.org/announcements-ybs.a5w

LVH 44, Torah 22, 1 Cor 9 Part 3

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  Asking for money is OK. Don’t muzzle an ox while it’s treading the grain. The ox is doing a work, let it take in some of that sustenance.  We have the right to ask for money for our services, even if they’re spiritual. You can consume part of the offering, and that’s your right. 

  There’s tons of tv-evangelists and other folks who just after the money. They make it their biggest thing. Jets, fancy cars, and big houses quickly become their trademark. And, although asking for $ is allowable, these people, while doing a spiritual service,  take it too far. They seek all these rich-type items to show off their wealth and to feel big. Rather than spending it lavishly, it’s far greater to put it back into the mechanism that directly affects the people being served, and reserving some to modestly sustain and improve your life.  

Rabbi Mike Stern is the perfect example of this. He used whatever he got from donations to upgrade his work for us, while still modestly sustaining his family and  improving himself.

(I mention my dear Rabbi … and, after this episode was made, he has since passed on. RIP) 

LVH 42, Torah 21, 1 Cor 9 Part 2

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There's plenty of ways people talk about for winning in the "game" of finding your beshert (the one aka soulmate). To put it simply, after consistently using the tools of the web (for example: Coffee Meets Bagel) you need to KNOW yourself. Looking inwardly, the introspective intelligence, puts you on the path of self-understanding. What are your values? With whom do you get along with? What future do you dream of? Do you see kids? (intellectual category)  Do you see a partner who goes snowboarding with you? Or, maybe you just want a chill-on-the-couch partner? (emotional category)  

PIE - Physical, Intellectual, and Emotional. 

-- Physical is the easiest, but can be the most superficial (gotta have someone with strong arms right?) 

-- Emotional, medium in difficulty, and you may not want to compromise. (like a partner who likes to surf like you do :) 

-- Intellectual, hardest to determine, and you definitely don't want to compromise. (like whether you want to have kids together) 

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DONATING or SHARING …. The two biggest things that you can do if you want to support and/or be involved in some way. I want to keep doing this, and with your help, I can keep on keep’n on ;D Here’s the donation link: https://anchor.fm/LoveHaShem/support 

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Ever heard the old adage “Honesty is the best policy.”? In relationships, this can definitely prove to be hogwash that can ruin your day, and the day of the other person. Strive for foresight and wisdom in your relationships (romantic or otherwise). Yes, you could say a truth, but is that truth guarded by love. Is it considerate? Is this the right time? 

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Let’s say that you see a co-worker who is tired. Do you say, “Wow you look terrible, and like you haven’t slept!”? …   Despite whatever truth those statements might have, you want to do some critical thinking to check whether that is the verbal path that you’d like to embark upon. 

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DONATING or SHARING …. The two biggest things that you can do if you want to support and/or be involved in some way. I want to keep doing this, and with your help, I can keep on keep’n on ;D Here’s the donation link: https://anchor.fm/LoveHaShem/support 

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 We have a lot of freedom, especially in the US. But, what does it all mean? How can we harness our freedoms in the best way. How can we pick up from the mind-ways of others to learn, and maybe show them love by joining in on their schtik. In knowing yourself, you can understanding that a blend of what someone else is doing or not doing doesn’t mean that you are losing yourself or not being authentic. Be clear on your purpose for doing something - always. You want to show love, and if that means doing a little more, or something that is a little outside of your comfort zone - do it. Make it happen, and grow from it. 

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DONATING or SHARING …. The two biggest things that you can do if you want to support and/or be involved in some way. I want to keep doing this, and with your help, I can keep on keep’n on ;D Here’s the donation link: https://anchor.fm/LoveHaShem/support 

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This piece is called Sweet Pine, and it's by Zechariah Mathz  

 Check more of his music out here: @Zechariah Mathz https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsf1e1EuBQPyYAlo7ZiFcJA 

Sending you sunshine and love! (^_^* 

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DONATING or SHARING …. The two biggest things that you can do if you want to support and/or be involved in some way. I want to keep doing this, and with your help, I can keep on keep’n on ;D Here’s the donation link: https://anchor.fm/LoveHaShem/support 

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