Life can often feel like a storm. Things blow in left and right – the chores, the caretaking, the careers, the moving – and we get pummeled. On today’s episode, we’re continuing our discussion around removing your mental load by managing overwhelm.

What is overwhelm, and how do we deal with it? I break it down, and then share a powerful tool to ease the burden and help you sharpen your purpose. 

Learn more about:

• Why and how overwhelm happen
• Making decisions during transitions
• Cultivating discipline when there are too many choices
• There’s math, and there’s drama

As always, you’re invited to my website, GirafeCoaching.com, where you can sign up for a monthly newsletter. In addition to finding out about free events within the Girafe Community, you can also download a free workbook to help you through tough times.

I need to pack, I have to make sure the dogs have had their shots, I must get the kids ready for school, did I remember to register for a new driving license?

And on and on and on. Life can be overwhelming — especially during times of transition, as every expat knows. 

But what if all those "I need to" and "I have to" and "I must" statements were instead "I choose to"? How much more empowering is it when your actions are controlled by your choices, to get you closer to the life you'll love, rather than by external forces?

In this episode, I'll discuss what it means to be carrying a "mental load" or "mental burden," and how you can lift it off your shoulders.

Learn more about:

• What is a "mental load"?
• Why we overload ourselves with cr*p!
• Why keeping lists really isn't a solution.
• How to get your finger off the "overwhelm" button.
• What you can gain by losing that mental load.

As always, you’re invited to my website, GirafeCoaching.com, where you can sign up for a monthly newsletter. In addition to finding out about free events within the Girafe Community, you can also download a free workbook to help you through tough times.

Murugayan Tirukumar ("Tiru" to his friends) has lived many lives. He was born in India, raised in Singapore, and now resides all over the world as a diplomat’s husband.

Tiru transitioned from a career in engineering to stay-at-home parenting, raising the next generation of third culture kids.

Along his circuitous and rich life path, he’s challenged gender stereotypes and antiquated ideas, developed wonderful relationships with his daughters, and carved out his own version of life purpose. His story is an incredible example of modern masculinity.

Highlights:

• Defying cultural expectations
• Redefining gender roles
• Third culture kids
• Finding your passion outside a career

As always, you’re invited to my website, GirafeCoaching.com, where you can sign up for a monthly newsletter. In addition to finding out about free events within the Girafe Community, you can also download a free workbook to help you through tough times.

Many of us can relate to this idea of being our own worst enemy. We bully ourselves, minimize our value, and relentlessly compare ourselves to others. The path to self-defeat is well-worn.

So on today’s episode, I walk you through the different types of negative self-talk, and share how you can build healthier, more energizing conceptions of yourself. This will help your dreams flourish.

Highlights

• Exploring the 3 types of negative self-talk
• Recognizing how negative self-talk holds you back 
• Replacing self-judgment with curiosity

If you’re experiencing negative self-talk, let’s chat. Together, we can go deeper on this journey of self-discovery and self-love.

And be sure to listen to Episode 21 Keeping a Journal. It’s a great companion to this one.

As always, you’re invited to my website, GirafeCoaching.com, where you can sign up for a monthly newsletter. In addition to finding out about free events within the Girafe Community, you can also download a free workbook to help you through tough times.

Dr Sophie Haspeslagh has, like many expats, led a very unconventional life. And, like many expats, she made it look easy — when it really wasn't.

She finished her PhD while on maternity leave, met with armed leaders in countries in conflict, moved around the globe with babies, all the while pursuing her interest in counterterrorism education. 

She's an assistant professor at the University of Cairo and has recently published a new book, Proscribed Peace: How Listing Armed Groups as Terrorists Hurts Negotiations. 

Highlights:

Sophie's unconventional path Finding the courage to tread your own path Where is "home" and what does that word mean to you? Embracing the unknown and challenging yourself Surviving trauma and finding your passion The importance of trusting yourself Hear Sophie's amazing, inspiring story of pushing on and pursuing her dreams, despite a truly terrifying experience. If you're dealing with past traumas that seem to have stopped your dreams in their tracks, let's talk. 

Once you've heard the episode, be sure to visit my website, GirafeCoaching.com, and sign up for the monthly newsletter. In addition to finding out about free events within the Girafe Community, you can also download a free workbook to help you through tough times.

In this series, I've been talking about the choices we have, even in the face of unthinkable situations like a pandemic or a war.

In Episode 42, I shared with you the first choice we all have which is to direct your thoughts on purpose to create calm if you wish to do so. In Episode 43, I shared with you the second choice to accept and even process your anxiety if you wish to do so.

Today I would like to offer that we have the choice to move  between despair and hope. 

Here are the highlights:

Why our brains naturally focus on worst-case scenarios What it means to be a "hopeful" person Is despair written in your DNA? Why cultivating hope is important — and possible The three axes of optimism

Once you've heard the episode, be sure to visit my website, GirafeCoaching.com, and sign up for the monthly newsletter. In addition to finding out about free events within the Girafe Community, you can also download a free workbook to help you through tough times.

The war in Ukraine continues, and our newsfeeds are full of terrible images of suffering people. It's heartbreaking to watch and feel so powerless to help.

These are awful, uncomfortable emotions, and of course we want to avoid them. I'd like to suggest we acknowledge them instead. 

In this episode, I share how acknowledging our emotions, allowing ourselves to sit with them, can help us to avoid "buffering" behavior that won't help the problem and will only make us feel worse later.

Highlights:

• How global events are affecting us.
• What are numbing or buffering behaviors?
• How can we avoid the shame, guilt, and regret of buffering behaviors?
• How and why do you "hold space" for your feelings?
• What is the "eventhough" tool?
• Other episodes that can help with this emotional work.

This is a truly scary and difficult time, but feelings of overwhelm and panic help no one. Learn the skills to resist emotional overload.

For more on this, come see me at GirafeCoaching.com. Have a great week.

Just now, much of the world's attention is focused on Ukraine. It's a terrifying time for those under attack but also for those of us watching and wishing there were more we could do.

In this episode and mini-series, I want to break down for you some of the choices you have - now, watching world events unfold, but also when unthinkable situations happen in your own life. 

Highlights:

• Why circumstances can cause us to focus on the worst-case scenario
• What choices do we actually have?
• Using the right language to trigger the right emotions and actions
• Embracing what is so you can help move towards what should be
• Power questions to help you act from a place of calm and resolve

If you want to receive the workbook I discussed in the episode, you'll find it at Girafecoaching.com. Simply sign up for the monthly newsletter.

Is change happening to you? Or with you?

In this episode, my guest, Ania Krasniewska Shahidi, asks us these important and powerful questions. Because there is a real difference between them, isn't there?

Are you frustrated with being assumed to be “along for the ride” with your expat spouse? Are you frustrated with how difficult it can be to carve out an identity of your own, earn your own money, be in control of your circumstances? 

While dealing with the challenges of being an accompanying spouse, Ania has made a success of her own life. She’s a Group Vice President at Gartner and is the Global Co-Chair of Women@Gartner, helping drive recruitment of women and make the workplace more inclusive. 

She shared with me how she managed to navigate both a high-powered career and the many changes, transitions, and challenges of being an expat spouse and mother of two.

Highlights:

About Ania: immigration and preparation for an expat lifeWhere (or what) is home for you?What is one fun habit you bring with you everywhere?Making decisions and embracing the outcomesWhen being an expat gets harder, not easierCareer clarity and communicationThe power of the “neutral circumstance” revelationLiving in discomfort as expats and parentsChanging the narrative around “defining” expat spouses

If you're ready to start living life to YOUR full potential, make an appointment now for a free consultation. You'll find me at GirafeCoaching.com. 

Many of us knew from a young age that we wanted a life that was different - one full of travel, adventure, exploration, and challenge. And an expat life fits all those qualifications, for sure!

But if you're like me, and you've been living this life for a while, you may be discovering that you don't feel like that fearless, adventurous person you were at the beginning. What happened?

Suddenly your inner censor is questioning your every decision, making you feel insecure, possibly even greedy and ungrateful, for wanting more than you already have.

In this episode, I talk you through many of the reasons expats stop dreaming of more for themselves: 

Are you too comfortable with "what is"? Do you have "the right" to want more? Guilt versus gratitude and giving yourself permission Where does that inner censorship come from? What is your big dream? What do you think of people with big dreams? How to give yourself space to take your shot

If you're ready to reach your full potential, get in touch! Schedule a free consultation at GirafeCoaching.com.