Love Your Story: Stories and discussions about personal growth, mindset and living with intention

The Search for Annie Schmidt: Part 3

“Bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open because the world needs you open.”  –Rebecca Campbell

On Wednesday, October 19th, 2016 Annie Schmidt, daughter of Jon Schmidt, famous for his piano playing in the Piano Guys, and Michelle Schmidt, was reported missing. Over the next month, hundreds of people and search dogs embarked on what became an ordeal that gained national attention as the search for her unfolded. This three-part series includes interviews with Annie’s mother -Michelle, the woman who found Annie’s body – Lydia Mcgranahan, and another participant who was key in helping to find Annie – Marty Newey. This series starts out introducing Annie and Lydia – the woman who found her,  and we jump into the inspiration that brought a woman who had no idea who Annie was into the search in the Columbia River Gorge. The second installment takes us further into the search and the inspiration and weaving of events that took place as we talked about the experience with those who were there. And, this third and final episode takes us to when Annie’s body was found, to her funeral where Lydia hears Annie speak to her, and where finding Annie is also losing Annie.

Tune in for in-depth interviews as we uncover the miraculous events surrounding the discovery of Annie Schmidt in this three-part series.

Thanks to The Piano Guys for the use of their music in this episode.  https://thepianoguys.com/

Other links regarding Annie Schmidt:

http://fox13now.com/tag/annie-schmidt/

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865692954/One-year-after-the-loss-of-Annie-Schmidt-The-Piano-Guys-express-gratitude-for-prayers-with-release.html

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865693430/Piano-Guys-and-miracles-helped-Jon-and-Michelle-Schmidt-through-tragic-past-year.htm

PART II The Search for Annie Schmidt

On Wednesday, October 19th, 2016 Annie Schmidt, daughter of Jon Schmidt, famous for his piano playing in the Piano Guys, and Michelle Schmidt, was reported missing. Over the next month, hundreds of people and search dogs embarked on what became an ordeal that gained national attention as the search for her unfolded. This three-part series includes interviews with Annie’s mother -Michelle, the woman who found Annie’s body – Lydia Mcgranahan, and another participant who was key in helping to find Annie – Marty Newey. This series starts out introducing Annie and Lydia – the woman who found her, and we jump into the inspiration that brought a woman who had no idea who Annie was into the search in the Columbia River Gorge. This second installment takes us further into the search and the inspiration and weaving of events that took place as we talk about the experience with those who were there.

Tune in for in-depth interviews as we uncover the miraculous events surrounding the discovery of Annie Schmidt in this three-part series.

Thanks to The Piano Guys for the use of their music in this episode.  https://thepianoguys.com/

Other links regarding Annie Schmidt:

http://fox13now.com/tag/annie-schmidt/

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865692954/One-year-after-the-loss-of-Annie-Schmidt-The-Piano-Guys-express-gratitude-for-prayers-with-release.html

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865693430/Piano-Guys-and-miracles-helped-Jon-and-Michelle-Schmidt-through-tragic-past-year.htm

THE SEARCH FOR ANNIE SCHMIDT – PART 1

On Wednesday, October 19th, 2016 Annie Schmidt, daughter of Jon Schmidt, famous for his piano playing in the Piano Guys, and Michelle Schmidt, was reported missing. Over the next month, hundreds of people and search dogs embarked on what became an ordeal that gained national attention as the search for her unfolded. This three-part series includes interviews with Annie’s mother -Michelle, the woman who found Annie’s body – Lydia Mcgranahan, and another participant who was key in helping to find Annie – Marty Newey. This series starts out introducing Annie and Lydia – the woman who found her, and we jump into the inspiration that brought a woman who had no idea who Annie was into the search in the Columbia River Gorge.

Tune in for in-depth interviews as we uncover the miraculous events surrounding the discovery of Annie Schmidt in this three-part series.

Other links regarding Annie Schmidt:

http://fox13now.com/tag/annie-schmidt/

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865692954/One-year-after-the-loss-of-Annie-Schmidt-The-Piano-Guys-express-gratitude-for-prayers-with-release.html

https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865693430/Piano-Guys-and-miracles-helped-Jon-and-Michelle-Schmidt-through-tragic-past-year.html

Understanding Story Archetypes Can Provide A Whole New Interpretation of Your Story

Welcome back to the Love Your Story podcast. Today we are getting real with the parts of story. This is going to be fun.  Have you ever been blocked in life? You’re cruising along in life, headed toward your goal or something you want, and bam, something challenges you. Of course you have! It’s a part of everyday life. So, let’s talk about a perspective shift here on this topic.

First a definition. What is an archetype? An archetype is a recurrent symbol or motif.  In story there are 7 character archetypes. Carl Jung called the archetypes of story the ancient patterns of personality that are the shared heritage of the human race. His claim is that within the human mind all 7 of these archetypes are a part of each of us. Sometimes we’re the hero, sometimes the mentor, sometimes the Herald , the shape-shifter, threshold guardian, or the trickster. Sometimes we must even deal with the shadow – the repressed part of the hero that must be loosed or destroyed or redeemed and turned into a positive force. But, I’m getting ahead of myself… Tune in for our discussion about the troll on the bridge.

Stories are our lives in language. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m Lori Lee, and I’m excited for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you, the listener, ideas to work with in making your stories work for you.  Story power serves you best when you know how to use it.

As mentioned there are a handful of archetypes, but today we’re going to delve specifically into the Threshold Guardian – the symbolic troll, or knight, or witch, or voice that challenges your forward journey.

Last year I was having an on-line conversation about how we are the heroes of our own stories and my high school boyfriend popped into the conversation and made a comment about how sometimes we are also the dragon or the antagonist in another person’s story (I’m not sure if there was an ulterior message in that comment). This got me thinking about the roles we play. Sometimes we are the extra, sitting at the table in the roadside café of someone else’s story. Sometimes we are the herald – the one who brings the message or call to adventure to another person – like Gandalf bringing the invitation to adventure for Bilbo. Sometimes we are the mentor, providing inspiration to someone on their journey, providing them with gifts – like Yoda in Star Wars. Always in our own story we are the hero, even if it’s an anti-hero, but understanding the roles we may be playing in other’s stories, and recognizing the roles that other’s play in our stories gives us a perspective shift that often is the key to breaking through something, or finding a solution, or having a little more fun in the creation of our life story.

By understanding the parts of story, we can begin to see our lives through different eyes. We can begin to see our stories as real stories and that makes it sorta fun.

A couple months ago I was speaking to an associate who was not on her game. She said, “I’m just thinking that maybe being a Realtor isn’t for me. It’s hard finding clients,” she said. “The other day I was knocking doors for my open house and the first door I went to the man who answered acted so put out that I was there that I almost froze up. I put the fliers in my car and just quit inviting people. Maybe this isn’t for me.”

So, I launched into this concept about archetypes. “In story,” I explained, “there are archetypal characters. One of them is the Threshold Guardian. This is the character that is placed to keep the unworthy from entering. Often times this character is a lieutenant of the villain, a naysayer or an internal demon, sometimes it’s just someone putting up resistance, but their function is to test the hero/heroine (you) to see if they are determined enough to gain the prize. These Threshold Guardians pop-up whenever you are headed toward something you want.” I told her. “This is one of your Threshold Guardians. How badly do you want to be a Realtor? Will you push past the resistance?”

Thomas Edison said, “I never did anything worth doing by accident. Nor did any of my inventions come by accident: they came by work.”

One of the truths about our stories is that as we are writing them, in order to be the hero, we must expect challenge, resistance, and opportunity for growth and learning. That’s what the hero’s journey is all about. That’s how he/she becomes the hero.  The Threshold Guardians will guard the path forward, and the stories you create in your mind about who you are, what you want, what you are capable of, and if you can get there will determine whether you make it past the guardians. Once my friend could see the fear and discomfort she felt as a Threshold Guardian, it ceased to be that she was afraid and inadequate for the job, and instead, the resistance became the hobgoblin who was guarding the treasure.  That was something she could work with. How do I get around this hobgoblin?

So, what resistance are you up against right now in your journey? What Threshold Guardian is challenging your determination and your forward movement, and do you really want what is on the other side of that resistance, enough to figure out your way around it? Oh, this can become a game – it can become fun instead of getting stuck in frustration, which is the main emotion when something stops us in our path.

What do you want really bad right now? What stands in your way – mentally, physically, emotionally, logically, monetarily? There could be all kinds of blocks, all kinds of guardians. They can even be created by you.  If you were the hero/heroine of a really great movie what creative and crazy interesting things could you implement to make your way past the threshold guardians in your story?

In the story of the three billy goats gruff the mean ugly troll was the guardian of the bridge. The three billy goats were trying to cross the bridge to get to the hill of green grass to fatten themselves and enjoy the summer sun. In order to do this they had to cross the bridge, but the troll – the threshold guardian—would stop each one as they tried to pass and threaten to eat them. Well, short story shorter, the three billy goats worked together in creative out-of-the-box solution finding and as the first two small billy goats went to cross the bridge, the troll assaulted them, and the conversation went something like this, Troll: “How dare you cross my bridge, I’m coming to gobble you up.” Billy goat: “I’m too small and scrawny, but my big brother is coming along and he’s much fatter and much tastier and you’ll want to save yourself for him.” The troll, enjoying the idea of a large and delightful meal of fresh raw billy goat let the two smaller billy goat brothers pass by in succession. When the big brother billy goat came along he didn’t go down without a fight. He used his horns and poked out the troll’s eyes and crushed his bones to small bits and butted him off the bridge for a gory end to that threshold guardian. You thought this was just a fairy tale, but as with all fairy tales there are actually morals and deeper meanings that teach us how to approach life. In this case, the moral of the story is that threshold guardians are mean, scary, will eat you for dinner, and if you are crafty enough you can turn the tables. How bad do you want to cross the bridge? Well, get creative then.

The word Hero comes from Greek root that means to protect and serve. A hero is born from self-sacrifice – a sacrifice of their comfort, their lives, time, and health for the greater good. A hero starts out as all ego with a shadow side, but as he heads out along the heroes journey he transcends and works one day at a time, one challenge at a time, one dragon at a time to become the hero we know he/she is. The shadow archetype is a part of every hero character and in each of us. The shadow, as I mentioned earlier, is the repressed parts of the hero that must be loosed and turned positive. Wow – we are so multi-dimensional! But it is these threshold guardians, among other archetypes, who help the hero along the journey where he conquers the shadow side and becomes deserving of the big prize, the happily-ever-after, the golden crown.

Barbara Bush and Mary Kay Ash are both credited with saying, “When you come to a roadblock, take a detour.”

It’s all a part of the big story, the challenge, the creative solutions, the persistence roadblocks/threshold guardians create. So, this week’s take away – if you can see your road blocks as the archetypal threshold guardian, there to keep the unworthy from entering, there to challenge how badly you want the green grass and the warm sun at the top of the hill, the challenge becomes more of a game and less of discouragement.

Consider your current threshold guardians and the creative solutions to get around them.

Have fun creating your story out there and don’t forget about the 21-Day Challenge now available for you to sign up for on the website: www.loveyourstorypodcast.com. This challenge was created to help you test out a new story tool, every day for 21-Days and I guarantee you’ll walk away with a handful that you want to work into your everyday life to create more connection, possibility and satisfaction with your life. USE IT! And, of course, pass this podcast along to someone who might find value – share the love!

A Story about Zimbabwe, Three Professional Golfers, and a Whole Lotta Love

Once Upon A Time there were three professional golfers who walked into a bar….

No, No, wrong story…

But there were 3 professional golfers.  Their names were Reeve, CeCe and Lolly. All three were blond white women, but one was a native Zimbabwean, one was a native South African, and one was a native Norwegian.

This story starts with Reeve, a coach on the professional women’s European golf tour, who in 1996 was walking through the children’s ward in a hospital in Zimbabwe. As she walked through the ward she met a  12-year-old girl who had been blinded when she was 8, by bi-lateral cataracts. Long story short, after a 15 minute surgery, this young girl who hadn’t been able to see her families faces, or where she was walking, or a sunrise or sunset for 4 years, later had the bandaged removed and her eyesight restored. Reeve cried at the miracle of it. Of how little it took to give so much back to another person. Cataract surgery costs $20 US, for supplies.

Fast forward a few days and Reeve was walking with Laurette Maritz, better known as Lolly, South Africa’s top lady golf professional,  a beloved and household name in South Africa,  down the 18th hole at Chapman Golf Course and the two were madly brainstorming about how they could raise money through charity golf events to purchase the medical equipment and supplies to provide this surgery for the many others in Zimbabwe who suffered from cataracts. This was 21 years ago.

What started out as Eyes4Zimbabwe has morphed over the years into a much broader charity project that supplies everything from thousands of bales of clothing a year, to food, surgeries, dental work, hygiene supplies and literacy projects to people who might have never had clothing before, odd as that sounds. People who have never seen a pen or pencil – who have used their fingers to draw in the dirt. People who live in a place where the unemployment rate is 96% and scrounging in the dump to find things to sell is a viable and popular way of survival.

In 2001 Cecilie Lundgreen, a Norwegian professional golfer, joined Reeve and Lolly and opened the Norwegian chapter. Six feet tall with bright blond hair and blue eyes, she is every bit the Norwegian, but all three women have a similar look. All three women are members of the LDS church. All three women use their broad reach in their professional lives to create abundance and reprieve for those who have less and suffer more in our world. All three women have hearts focused on doing good.

So, now to the good stuff – today I am down in the Humanitarian Center of the LDS Church where these woman have collected massive amounts of supplies and the LDS church is allowing them to use their docks and bailing equipment for sorting and bailing and loading for shipment to Zimbabwe.

This is how they work: first, they send out emails to everyone they know with their wish list of things they need – food, blankets, newborn kits, hygiene kits, school books, bibles, clothing, toys, etc. Many willing people start collecting and contacting friends and it is through the power of people and networking that massive amounts of donations are collected.  People show up with trailers full of clothes and trucks full of equipment. Stores provide donations and the medical community pitches in. Then the sorting starts – this is what I am doing today down at the Humanitarian Center. We are sorting clothing so we can put “girls pants” and “men’s coats” in specific bales for shipment. The clothes are varied, I’m struck by how unpicky and happy the African people are to get anything to wear. The clothes are not pressed or folded but smooshed together in bales to be able to ship as much as possible. Stories are told of people lined up for hours to get an outfit.

But let me let you hear it from the mouths of Reeve and CeCe.

Tune in to the audio version for the interviews.

It’s been a pleasure to learn about this project. An inspiration to watch people, of their own accord, work so hard to create stories that comfort and bless others. Volunteers thronged the Humanitarian center today – moms with their kids coming to sort and serve. Families and older couples. My son has been sorting and hauling bales for hours, and we are privileged to be a small part of a big story making a big difference.

On the podcast I like to share stories of inspiration. Stories of overcoming and stories that illustrate ways of living big, bold and happy. This is one of these – from the many people who collect and donate, to the people here in the warehouse taking an hour or two out of their day to be one little cog in this machine, to these professional golfers who have created something big and beautiful. There is good in the world and we can all build that into our own stories.

Check out the show notes for more contact information on Eyes4Zimbabwe, and thanks for tuning in today. Quick reminder – the 21-Day Challenge is live and ready for you to sign up to get a fun new challenge each day – a way to test out little ways of changing up your story to create more love, peace and possibility in your life. It’s a resource I hope you’ll use! Easy and fun. www.loveyourstorypodcast.com

See you next week.

Sometimes something as simple as a pair of cowboy boots and a story can change lives.

The stories that make up our lives are the building blocks, that when put together, explain, in large part, who we are because they illustrate the paths we’ve walked and the decisions we’ve made or not made. When these stories are shared we open the doors to understanding one another, and that changes everything. Stay tuned for a discussion on understanding one another better through the sharing and listening to stories, and for a story about a girl in turquoise cowboy boots.

Stories are our lives in language. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m Lori Lee, and I’m excited for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you, the listener, ideas to work with in making your stories work for you. Story power serves you best when you know how to use it.

One of the many functions of story is that of sharing ourselves and our experiences with another. Once someone knows our stories they know many things about us. They know the triumphs and struggles we have faced. They know our responses to those events and people involved in those events. They know our attitudes and often we display our character by showing our choices during the unfolding of our stories and the lessons we learned within those experiences.

Does this create vulnerability? Almost certainly, if told well. Does it create understanding? Without a doubt. Does that understanding change the way we interact with one another? Often, especially when understanding is expanded. Let me share an example.

This example was shared by Amy S. Choi on September 30, 2015 in a Ted-Ed Blog called, How Telling Stories Can Transform a Classroom. The blog illustrates how the work StoryCorps is doing in collecting and sharing stories makes a difference, in this case, in a Jr. High classroom. More about StoryCorps in a minute, if you aren’t familiar with them.

Story:

Caitlyn, a quiet seventh grader, was bullied by the other kids in her class at Luther Burbank Middle School in Burbank, California. She wore the same cowboy boots every day and the other kids were awful about it.

Ms. Mieliwocki, the English teacher introduced StoryCorps to her students. She gave them tape recorders and asked them to interview someone important in their lives. Over the next few months, the class listened to each student’s interview and discussed them together.

Caitlyn, the gal who always wore the cowboy boots, had interviewed her mother. The two of them talked about their lives since Caitlyn’s father died of melanoma two years prior when Caitlyn was in the fifth grade. Before her dad passed away, he had wanted to get her something that would last forever — together, they picked out a pair of brown and turquoise cowboy boots. A year later, Caitlyn was diagnosed with melanoma herself. She had to have part of her foot removed. The boots her father bought were the only shoes that provided enough support for her to walk.

None of the kids in her class, or even her teacher had known any of this, They felt small and ashamed for having been so cruel, and with this greater understanding, the teasing stopped. Not just for Caitlyn, but for everyone.

Ms. Mieliwocki said,  “Telling our stories brought all of our lived realities into the classroom.”

And that changed everything. It changed what the children knew about one another thus how they related to one another, and thus how they acted and treated one another. That’s a pretty big deal.

So, StoryCorps is an American non-profit organization whose mission is to record, preserve, and share the stories of Americans from all backgrounds and beliefs. It is located in Brooklyn in New York City and was started in 2003. Their purpose is to remind us of our shared humanity, to strengthen and build the connections between people, to teach the value of listening, and to weave into the fabric of our culture the understanding that everyone’s story matters. If you go to their website, StoryCorps.org and hit the story tab, you can listen to story after story, only about 4-5 minutes long, from people of all walks of life as they share a meaningful life experience. I just got done listening to an interview with the mother and father of one of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary school shooting in Connecticut in 2012 discussing their story and the death of their daughter. Listening to the real heartfelt stories of others brings to life experiences beyond our own. Listening to their story suddenly makes that event more real to me, my empathy is increased, a connection to something that WAS remote has been created simply because I listened to another’s story.

As shown here, in the story of the cowboy boots, StoryCorps mission provided the key to a wonderful learning experience that changed all those in that classroom through the sharing of stories. I’ll include a link to their website in the show notes.

We all have different life journeys. Often it’s hard to understand another’s journey, especially if ours is very different, but the only way we can get closer to understanding one another is to listen to one another’s stories. To share and to listen, and in that listening try to understand and sit with a space of allowing without judgment.

Henry David Thoreau said, “Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?”

While literally being able to look through one another’s eyes is not a possibility, the closest we come is to share our stories, our perspectives. This sharing creates a space for connection. Let me share a couple places this stands out to me…and these are just a few of many.

First, when men are going through a struggle and they try to tough it out and keep it to themselves they often cause a space of disconnect because those around who would help, often their women, just feel confused and disconnected because they don’t know what the issue is. When and if the man decides to share what is going on with him there is often compassion, nurturing, and all the things that women do best. Women’s hearts are softened when they understand a back-story, feelings, or sense a need. But it requires the sharing of their story and what they the other person is struggling with.

This can be turned around also, when women don’t share what is wrong because they assume the man should already know, when in fact, he does not. Am I just talking about communicating with one another, no, it goes beyond that, there is a difference in me telling you I am concerned or upset about something and communicating the idea, and me sharing the background story that illustrates why I am concerned about it. It’s the background story that allows for understanding of why a person takes the approach they take or feels as they do. These may be simple or complex.

For example: Let’s say I feel strongly that it’s the man’s duty to lock the doors at night and make sure the house is safe. My husband (which I don’t have – this is a made-up example) may not have that as a habit or he is busy with his own stuff and thus it doesn’t get done or I have to do it. I can say, “Hey, I’d really like you to lock the house up at night,” and he might feel like something else is getting pawned off on him, but if I share the story about how my dad always closed the house up at night, going from door to door, window to window, and it created a space of feeling protected, there is increased understanding of why I have the perspective I have. When there is understanding good people naturally orchestrate their lives with one another more smoothly.

I was talking with my friend about how this works in his marriage. He said “this happens all the time, but the way it plays out is that she thinks she shouldn’t have to explain why she is asking me to do something so it looks like “ask. feel irritated. get a further explanation and share the reasonings. smooth out and find a solution.” What if when you made an ask you took the time to explain the story around your ask and the conversation could open without the irritation phase and progress into solution finding?

Another example, in my Story Launchpad workshop – a workshop I do for business professionals to help them find and strategize how to use their stories — one of the types of stories that we work on is the Origin Story. In one workshop I was working with a mortgage lender. As she did her work she discovered that her story originated with a poor lending experience that she and her husband had had when they bought their home 20 or so years ago. At the time she was NOT in the lending industry and as they went through the process of purchasing their home they were told they were approved, and then they were told they weren’t approved, back and forth and the stress was terrible because this was at a time when you could put sweat equity into your home before you closed on it, so they had made investments of time and money in the home. No one discussed with them the costs of closing the loan so they had to dig up the money the day of closing. She didn’t understand why it had to be so difficult and she hated that they always felt like they were on the verge of losing the deal. She went into lending so that she could help others have a better lending experience; so she could keep the discomfort she felt out of the equation for those she worked with.

When she shares this story with her clients and potential clients they begin to understand who they are working with and why they can trust her. She’s not just a fly-by-night lender hoping to make a buck, she’s a dedicated professional with a purpose beyond herself, with experience in what NOT to do and a desire to give her clients a smooth and stress-free experience. Sharing this story allows her to become something more in the eyes of those she works with; it builds trust because they understand her better.

The other day a listener contacted me and said, I love the spaces where you get vulnerable. I love knowing that you’ve been divorced three times and that is has caused you embarrassment – it makes you real to me.

I recorded, as a guest, on the Shameless Mom Academy podcast yesterday, and as Sara Dean and I spoke she shared a bit of her story about her infertility and her work in reframing her story to include only having one child, but being able to help more moms enjoy and excel at motherhood through her podcast and her personal work that she said she would not have had time to do if she had had more than one child. Understanding her story helped me have a greater appreciation for what she is doing and why. And really, that makes all the difference.

Are we listening to people’s authentic stories? Are we building bridges with our stories? Today’s episode is about finding our commonality through the sharing of our stories, because that commonality it is stronger than our separateness.

Albert Einstein said, “Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”

The global nature of our world, the way we can access, trade, see and interact with people from different cultures across the world means that it has never been more important to seek to understand through sharing and listening to one another’s stories – without judgment, and instead with a spirit of attempted understanding. We are exposed to more people with different ideas. It’s a wonderful treasure trove of possibility for expanding our understanding. Even within our own country, here in the US, the deep political divisions are strong and while sharing our stories of why we each feel as we do may not change another’s mind, it will increase understanding as to where others come from and why they have the perspectives they have.

Seeking to share stories and increase understanding is a step toward love in all relationships: from the most personal spouse and family relationships and sharing stories that help them to understand us and our quirks; to our neighbors with different ideas; to others we’ve never met and don’t yet understand in different countries, religions, and cultures.

Who in your life, where perhaps there is misunderstanding or discord, can you share a story with today that will help increase their understanding of who you are and where you are coming from? Where can you build a bridge by sharing a story, or maybe asking for another to share their story?

I can picture Caitlyn and her turquoise and brown cowboy boots and all the other children in their classroom sitting each day and listening to the story interviews that captured the inside lives of their schoolmates that none had previously been privy to. I can imagine through that one exercise the number of changed relationships, the empathy, and the insights those Jr. High students gained by listening and sharing and suddenly understanding something they didn’t before. That people have stories and reasons for the way they do things. That everyone’s story matters and that by sharing we open the doors to understanding.

Thanks for being here today. I hope the discussion sparked an idea for a space where you can share a story that will create connection for you. If you’ve got some comments or stories you’d like to share, head to www.loveyourstorypodcast.com and hit up the comment box under this episode. Also, don’t forget to sign up for the free audio/ebook: The Key to Your Super Self – How your Stories Unlock your Super Power. My gift to you – just head to the website to grab it. A pop-up box will pop-up when you visit the site and you can sign up for it. And, of course, if you haven’t hopped on the the 21-Day Challenge bandwagon – head to the website and sign up for a fun, productive and guided way to create more love, peace, and possibility in your story. These challenges are things like do a RAK or get rid of something in your space that you no longer need, or give someone the benefit of the doubt today. They are simple but profound things that help you create your best life story.

See you next week for another great conversation on creating our life stories.

Ted Ed Blog:

http://blog.ed.ted.com/2015/09/30/how-telling-stories-can-transform-a-classroom/

Story Corps Website:

www.storycorps.org

Welcome back to the Love Your Story interview land. Today we embark on a business episode in our interview with Ben Amos from Austrailia. Ben is a passionate online video strategist and the host of Engage with Story podcast. He is the founder and creative director of Innovate Media; an online video strategy and production agency based in Queensland, Australia. His podcast is all about exploring the power of storytelling in moving people to action in your business strategy. He talks with expert story artists from around the world deep diving into storytelling for business. I’ve asked him on the podcast today to talk about the angle of strategy. Stay tuned for our discussion from the land down-under.

Stories are our lives in language. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m Lori Lee, and I’m excited for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you, the listener, ideas to work with in making your stories work for you. Story power serves you best when you know how to use it.

In our business episodes we often discuss the importance of using story to connect with clients or employees, stakeholders or potential investors, but today we’re getting into the angle of how to grow market reach by strategically using story. This is Ben’s area of expertise. So, welcome to the Love Your Story podcast Ben.

Listen to the audio for the interview with Ben Amos

With any business endeavor, embarking with a strategy in mind, rather than using the throw a handful-of mud at the wall and see what sticks approach is generally the best idea. This way the money you are spending, the audience you are reaching, the efforts being put into the business have a purpose and end plan. Using story IS the most powerful way to connect with people in order to create a space of interest and a form for remembering what you’ve communicated, but when we tell the stories with purpose we are taking steps directly toward our goal.

Sun Tsu, Ancient Chinese Military Strategist said, “Strategy without tactics is the slowest route to victory, tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.” 

Your strategy is what Ben is talking about – the vision he helps his client get before stepping on to the trail, and the tactics are the use of stories in the appropriate places to achieve this strategy.

Thanks for tuning in today. Have a great week creating your best stories and if you haven’t signed up for the 21-Day Challenge yet, go to www.loveyourstorypodcast.com and hop on the train of testing out fun story tools in this guided 3 week challenge. There’s more information on it on the website, and reach out if you have questions about it. For those of you already in the challenge – keep up the great work and momentum! You’re rockin it! See you next week.

For more information on Ben:

[email protected]

www.engagevideomarketing.com

Insta and Twitter: @engage_ben

Free video strategy course: www.engagevideomarketing.com/foundations

Today is Launch Day! Let me explain…

Love Your Story was created to help people realize that their life stories are within their control. It is a platform for conversations about ideas and tools that help us shape our life stories and create them on purpose with more joy, love, satisfaction, or whatever you want to write into the story you create with your every day living. Well, since we went live in October of 2016 we have talked every week about a variety of these tools, with the hope in mind that those who are listening are getting ideas, inspiration and empowerment to create healthy, happy, and strong stories, rather than small, scared and heavily burdened life stories that often just come with the territory of living.

But…that’s a lot of tools. If you’re anything like me, it’s all fine and dandy to know what you should do, but when there is too much to do I just shut down. I go into overwhelm mode and I don’t do anything.

Well, today we launch the 21-Day Challenge, just in time to start off  2018 with a bang!

Do you want to live brave, bold and joyful as you create your daily story? Do you want to be able to re-see the parts of your story that currently hold you back or are laden with fear or shame in a different and hopeful way? Well, Love Your Story is about helping you do this,– here is where the 21-Day Challenge comes in.

I am really excited about this because this is going to be fun for those who get involved, but also because this is going to be very powerful for the people who get involved!

First of all – click the 21-day challenge button and decide that every day, for the next 21 days, you are going to take the challenge that comes to you – whatever it is, no excuses for missing or skipping, you will embark on three weeks of interesting possibility, fun, and a few life-changing ideas. But here’s the idea behind it – it’s a tasters table of story tools. Goodbye overwhelm. You get to try out 21 different tools that build possibility, connection, and satisfaction in your life story – decide which ones you like and want to keep using. It’s like that hor derve plate in the restaurant that gives you a little taste of everything.

So, once you sign up, each day you’ll get a new challenge based around one of the story tools – exercises for forgiving or being present, or extending a kindness, or working on your own inner voice, etc. Some really fun and guided challenges you get to play with and just work into your everyday experience.

Once you start the challenge you’ll get an email with a link to your challenge page. Each day for 21 days a new challenge will be available on your page. Get on every morning, see what your challenge is, work it into your everyday life, and then log in for a quick report at the end of the day. There is a Write It Out link that concludes the challenge where you get to write in what you did for the challenge and the experience it created for you. This gives you some time to process and think about the experience and it gives me a peek into what great things are being created in the world. Repeat for 21 fun and exciting days. You’ll never know what the next day’s challenge will be until you unlock that challenge in the morning.

Now – I want to point out that this is not to increase your already full list of things to do – or to add to your overwhelm—each challenge are things that we can build into everyday living. Taking little bites shows you how to do it. All the tools that help you live your best story fit into your everyday living anyway – you want a more fulfilling life story, these are tools that help you do it.

I wanted to share a couple testimonials from some gals who have accepted Love Your Story challenges in the past.

Katie Houston, out of SLC in Utah

Speaking about one specific challenge – I was so surprised by how it changed the way I thought- because I was thinking about gratitude so much, I felt more gratitude. It was absolutely worth my time! It was really cool to connect with my Grandma and think about my gratitude for her, even though our relationship is complicated. I had some pretty amazing experiences. On top of that I learned about an important life tool. I learned that sometimes we may feel something, but we need to be more vigilant about expressing it. It makes such a big difference. As a teacher, for example, I need to remember what a difference it makes when I compliment my students and tell them how proud I am of them.

I would totally do this again.

Sandi Bartlett Atwood, Canada

About 2 months ago, I woke up feeling a little defeated and lost. I had signed up for the Love Your Story Podcast earlier in the year. I listened to the first one and had enjoyed it but, to be honest, I’d been too busy, I was already successful and happy, and I was not the kind of person who needs a bunch of self-help mumbo jumbo (all wrong-minded stories I’d been telling myself by the way) but on that bleak August morning, I was lacking and looking for some direction; looking for change, so I remembered the podcast and thought okay, I’ll check it out. Well, let me tell you, 21-day challenges had quite the impact, not only on my long-term actions but on my immediate mood and goals for that day! I have since become a regular student of Love Your Story and have felt a greater clarity of vision, sense of purpose, peace of mind, and acceptance of the dynamic creative process of embracing and crafting my own story. Love Your Story challenges are simple, effective, and beg to be immediately implemented. I can honestly say the challenges changed my mood and got me excited to take action in the moment I read them–not one of those “I should try this tomorrow” deals. Now, I turn to the Podcasts and challenges when things are going well just to boost my “game” and enhance the quality of my life. I strongly recommend Lori’s challenges to anyone!

I love testimonials! It makes me feel like I’m doing something right! So, now it’s your chance. It’s a new year, the time we all want to start off on the right foot! NOW IS THE TIME.

Let’s do this! Join the fun and start creating a life story with a little more satisfaction, joy and pizzaz this year – right now! Oh, and don’t worry, none of the challenges will require you to make moral or ethical compromises! It’s all good fun.

Go to http://loveyourstorypodcast.com/21-day-challenge/ and find the link to start on YOUR 21-Day Challenge. Pass it along to your friends too.

While this is a very unusual episode for us – shorter than usual, for sure…I wanted to have a chance to introduce you  directly to this big opportunity for learning, growth and experiment. So go try it, and I’ll see you on the inside when we are sharing notes as I read your responses to the challenges.

Habits – Breaking Bad: 3 Steps to Reprogramming your Habits

What is a new year if not a time to create resolutions, feel crappy when we don’t really keep them, and then create stories in our minds about how we never follow through! Yay – happy new year and welcome back to the habit of attempting a new start toward better ways at the beginning of each new year. We always mean so well. Today, I have a solution that actually has a pretty strong chance of success – a 3 step process that works for changing bad habits.

Travis Bradberry said, “Humans are creatures of habit. If you quit when things get tough, it gets that much easier to quit the next time. On the other hand, if you force yourself to push through it, the grit begins to grow in you.”

Our habits create our character. Do you realize you have story habits? Stories that get replayed, over and over in your mind as fact. Since our character is defined by our habits, and our lives are created with our stories, it seems pretty important to consider the habitual stories we’ve got playing on autoplay. Stay tuned today for 3 steps from Michael Bungay Stanier, a Wall Street Journal Bestseller, that will give us a pattern for breaking the bad stories and reprogramming our own minds with better stories. You can also use the 3 step process for reprogramming any habit you want to change, but today we are focusing on actually changing the habitual stories that don’t serve us.

Stories are our lives in language. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m Lori Lee, and I’m excited for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you, the listener, ideas to work with in making your stories work for you. Power serves you best when you know how to use it.

Neville said, “Health, wealth, beauty and genius are not created, they are only manifested by the arrangement of your mind—that is, by your concept of yourself, and your concept of yourself is all that you accept and consent to as true.”

In other words, what we believe is true about ourselves is perpetuated by the stories we let play about us – in our own minds, and then these stories determine what we believe is true about us and we behave and allow accordingly, creating our health, wealth, beauty and genius. Our habitual stories create our own concept of self.

So, let’s ask the first and most obvious question – what do you consent to as true about you?

Have you accepted your own value, your own worthiness, your strength, resilience, and beauty? Have you embraced your own good heart, your own talents and gifts? Do you embody your badass superhero persona, because in fact, that’s who you are? Or, do you need to change a few stories to get on this track?

There is a woman I know who raises her grandchildren. She has changed her life of being an empty nester to doing homework, attending sporting events, dealing with curfews and all the fun and challenge that comes from raising kids again. It’s a lot of work and yet whenever you talk to her about it she refuses to acknowledge how absolutely fantastic she is for this beautiful sacrifice of her time, sanity and years of service in taking on this challenge, that exhausts her. She refuses to embrace her own good heart for what it is. She won’t claim her Wonder Woman status. Why? When we do hard things like make it through a layoff, or a car crash, or an illness; when we make it through challenges like a divorce, a lawsuit, a friend stabbing you in the back and we do it with ethics and behavior we are proud of;  when we reach out to others to lift and comfort and make the world better where we can, there is nothing at all wrong with giving yourself a mental high-five and acknowledging that you are doing a great job. Every time you get it right. Give yourself a mental hug and congratulate yourself for doing the best you can! Accept your value, your worthiness, your efforts, your strength and the good intents of your heart.

In coaching I’ve watched people who absolutely shine with all they have to give, but they don’t know it. In fact, many of them believe the exact opposite, that they are unworthy or broken. They don’t see or acknowledge their own power and beauty in the world. Not out of any sense of humility, it’s just that the negative stories and insecurities have gotten in the way and built up over the years. Too often I’ve watched these stories and insecurities determine exactly what the person dares to embark on. Gorgeous people living well below their potential and tangled in fear because they believe false stories about themselves. It breaks my heart because it’s such a blatant waste of potential joy – that’s why I do what I do, really, because if the tools we discuss can help someone to be less afraid, to change old stories that hold them back, if the podcast will inspire someone to embrace and allow for their own power, well…that’s a fight worth waging, or project worth doing. So how do we change those stories – not in theory, but in actuality?

Today’s podcast stems from a new book I’ve been reading. It’s called The Coaching Habit -Say Less, Ask More and Change the Way you Lead Forever, by Michael Bungay Stanier. It’s the first part of this book that I’m particularly interested in sharing today – the part where you change your behavior by changing your habits. I bring in his writings because he has a system for actually changing habits. It’s not just talking about habits we know we need or want to change – we’ve talked about the power of getting rid of habitual stories that don’t serve us, but now let me present this tool for creating a new habit. It’s not what you change – because everyone is going to have something different, but HOW to make a change.

So, let’s acknowledge a couple things – first – we all know that changing old behavior is akin to climbing Everest. Not many people do it, lots die trying, and those who do it successfully put in a lot of work. Well, not to make it overly dramatic, but I feel like Michael’s simple three step program makes changing a habit a lot more accessible. It still takes paying attention and work – but we are superheroes after all. So, we’ve got this.

Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.”

So, how do we repeatedly create and tell stories to ourselves that exude excellence and help us accept all the beauty we are? The habit we are looking at changing up today is regulating any negative stories coming from that inner voice.

First, you can do a number of things to make that inner voice more tangible. Martha Beck suggests naming it, picturing it as a different being, a little dragon on your shoulder, a cat, whatever form you want to give that inner voice. Dress it up in sparkles or armor or stick a fabulous beanie on its little head. Create a being you can address, and when it talks you can picture it sitting there babbling on and you can lovingly tell it to stick a sock in it, you’ve got other positive things you prefer to focus on. Maybe you can picture yourself duct taping its mouth shut.

So we’ve got your inner voice, now let’s talk about how to help it change any negative babble into supportive commentary.

In Michael’s book he points out that a Duke University study says that at least 45 percent of our waking behavior is habitual and that there has been an increase of grounded findings based on neuroscience and behavioral economics that have helped clear a path for changing habits. He is coming from the place of this research. In a nutshell he suggests there are five essential components – a reason, a trigger, a micro-habit, effective practice and a plan.

So, first, the reason – if you’re going to bother changing something in your life you usually need a pretty good reason. What is that reason? Often times, Michael mentions that doing it for ourselves is not as powerful as doing it to serve others. So less about what this new habit can do for you and more about what this new habit can do to help others you care about. How does no longer playing small and feeling unworthy serve your family, friends and loved ones? Well, while that’s a rhetorical question, think about the new example you can be to your kids, grandkids, other people who are looking for inspiration and a social go-ahead to live their biggest lives. When you believe in yourself and you risk and you live and create your best story the effect is so broad reaching it’s impossible to actually put a value on it. People look to one another to see what is possible, so when they look to you and see you loving yourself and enjoying life, you’ve given them permission to live well also. Let’s just say everyone benefits when you feel good about yourself. That’s a pretty good reason.

Second, the trigger. When things happen in our lives it triggers other things – the habits that play out on autoplay. So, when someone rejects you maybe you get angry, maybe you feel embarrassed, maybe you get defensive. When you wake up, maybe your habit is a direct line to the coffee maker. It’s just how you start the day. Maybe when you look in the mirror your first response is to critique and criticize what you see. Maybe when someone tells you to do something your first response is to do the opposite. There are millions of triggers between us all. Hot buttons. What are yours? The first step to changing a habit is to figure out what triggers that habit or else you’ll be into the habit/behavior before you even realize it. So, what’s your trigger for the behavior you want to change?

If you know that every time you set up an appointment for a sales call that the voice in your head is going to be telling you a story about rejection and eventual failure, well, the sales call is the trigger. If you can pinpoint that when your wife or husband comes home with a depressing story about some negative aspect of their day that you want to strangle them for always dwelling on the negative, well, it’s their negative story that is the trigger. If your mom asking you to do chores ruins your plans and everyday this triggers frustration and anger in you, well then you know that the chore list is your trigger.

The third step is to determine a micro-habit. Michael suggests that we are more likely to create a new habit if we do not get overwhelmed with the change. So, decide what the first tiny step is in the new habit, something you can do that will take no more than 60 seconds to start to create your new habit. Short and specific. A new plan that heads you in the direction you want to go.  So, as pertaining to the inner voice, if you know that making that sales appointment is going to trigger a fearful story of rejection and instead you want to create an empowering story of success, the first step toward that would be to address the little angel/devil/dragon/hummingbird on your shoulder and say something like – “Thanks for your input, but that’s not working this time.” Then throw out a new story – your new micro-habit, one you’ve created ahead of time that creates the feeling of success. Picture yourself shaking hands and closing the sale. Or, play a short snippet from  “We are the Champions” song whenever you are triggered. Or, picture the deposit in your bank account when the sale closes and the smile on your face. Decide what works for you, but have it ready so that when the trigger comes you have a quick step that takes you in a different direction.

The fourth step is to practice deeply. Specifically Dan Coyle in his book The Talent Code, discusses the components of deep practice. They are to practice small chunks of the bigger action. So, instead of practicing the whole tennis serve you would practice parts of it – how to throw the ball, follow through, etc. The next part is repetition, repetition, repetition. Do it fast, do it slow, do it differently, but keep repeating the same action. Notice when it goes well. Practice retrains the neural pathways into new routes, new thought patterns. So, whatever that new micro-habit is, practice it. Practice it fast, practice it slow. Practice it.

The fifth step Michael discusses is to plan how to get back on track. He says,

So here’s how it works: There are 3 steps that pulls all this together –

When my boss tells me to put my phone away

When my 3 year old hits her brother again

When Bill complains about that same political issue, over and over

I feel micromanaged and I want to tell him to poke it.

I feel angry and frustrated that I’m not being listened to and I yell.

I get completely irritated and I get anxious and passive aggressive.

Example: When I’m feeling frustrated in our weekly meetings because my boss tells me to put my phone away, instead of letting myself get angry and feel micromanaged I’m going to …fill in the new behavior.

Example: When my mom gives me a list of chores that frustrates the time schedule I had set out with my friends, instead of getting angry and hating her in my head and stomping around the house I will take a deep breath, shift my plans by 20 minutes, and repeat to myself, “I choose to be a respectful person.”

Example: Every time I think about the time I was sexually harassed or molested and feelings of shame, unworthiness and fear get triggered, I will instead repeat the following: I didn’t ask for this mistreatment. I am a strong, resilient, beautiful person and this was not my fault.

Start by writing out these 3 steps for each habit you want to change. Write them down and read over them regularly to help in reminding you what you are changing.

Ovid said, “Nothing is stronger than habit.”

As Michael points out in his book – this is good news and bad news. Bad news because habits are hard to break, but good news in that when you get the habits you want in place, chances are good that they will stick.

So let’s go over those five essential components – a reason, a trigger, a micro-habit, effective practice and a plan.

And, let’s review the three steps you create with these five components:

I think if take one habit at a time, one thing we really want to change, and focus this retraining of our minds to get rid of the stories that hold us back, and reprogram in ideas and stories that focus on our beauty, worthiness and strength, we are in for one heck of a successful year. Just think if every year for 10 years you successfully changed one bad habit – We’ll I think you’d be further ahead than most. Your challenge this week is to follow this process with just one habitual story that you want to change this year. Write down your trigger, the old habit and the new behavior, then get ready to practice.

Have fun out there this week creating your best story every day, in the moment! You can access and share all the Love Your Story episodes on www.loveyourstorypodcast.com. You can also sign up for our exciting 21-Day Challenge now available on the website – each day a new challenge for trying out a story tool. After 21-days you’ve tried them all and you get to choose which ones to keep in your life. If you haven’t already signed up, get on and get started. It’s a lot of fun and a great way to start out the new year.

Subscribe, rate, review and share any episodes you really like with a friend or family member today! Information on the book I quoted today will be in the show notes on the website. See you next week!

Book: The Coaching Habit – Say Less, Ask More and Change the Way You lead Forever, by Michael Bungay Stanier

Shannon Happe Interview – A discussion on the mental stories we need to take us to over-the-top success.

Welcome back to the next episode in Love Your Story interview land. Have you ever watched the Olympics and wondered what it takes to be one of these athletes who dominate their sport. One of these people who make it to the very top performance level? What type of mind control do they have to conquer the fears, the fatigue, overwhelm? While the Olympics are the display of physical prowess and control, behind the scenes it is a game where one must first control the mind, the stories that can so easily beset us, well…today I am talking with Shannon Happe, 2-time Olympic medalist in moguls, a US Women’s Freestyle Skier and world champion about her story and what it takes to garner that type of success. Stay tuned.

Stories are our lives in language. Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast. I’m Lori Lee, and I’m excited for our future together of telling stories, evaluating our own stories, and lifting ourselves and others to greater places because of our control over our stories. This podcast is about empowerment and giving you, the listener, ideas to work with in making your stories work for you. Story power serves you best when you know how to use it.

Shannon was born and raised in Lake Tahoe, CA and moved to Salt Lake City, UT in 1998 to pursue her dreams of making the U.S. Ski Team and to ultimately compete for the USA at the Winter Olympic Games.  She made the U.S. Ski Team that very same year and had continued success for the next twelve years.  She competed on 6 World Championship Teams, 3 Olympic Teams, brought home 2 Olympic Medals, 7 World Cup Wins, 1 Overall World Cup Title and 6 National Titles.  Since her retirement in 2010 she and her husband, Matt, started up and in 2013 sold their first company, Silver Bean Coffee.  She now has her plate full again with a 4-year-old little girl named Zoe and is now working as a Ski Champion for Deer Valley and has recently launched a corporate team building and inspiration company called Team Empower Hour!

Welcome to the Love Your Story podcast Shannon.

Listen to the podcast to hear the audio version of our discussion. You don’t want to miss it.

To contact Shannon:

[email protected]

www.teamempowerhour.com

www.ShannonBahrke.com

Thanks for tuning in to today’s episode. I’m grateful to Shannon for taking the time to share her story and insights, and for you, for being here to listen and learn and hopefully take a piece of inspiration out into the story of your life as you create it on purpose.

Just a reminder about all the resources on the website: www.loveyourstorypodcast.com – head there for all the Love Your Story episodes past and present – you can listen to them right on the website. There are also wonderful resources for you  – the free audiobook you can download: The Key to Your Super Self – How your stories are the key to your Power. And, you can start the 21-Day Challenge. With a click of a button you can start your journey with 21 Days of fun challenges that provide a structured way for you to try out things that will help add meaning, satisfaction, and connection to your life story.

See you next week.