Luke Hand Diary

Work. Not enough data through over the weekend for us to be able to run the shifts we’d rostered for this week. Very annoying. Hate cancelling shifts. Suuucks. I was talking with my work wife about my idea of a working holiday and I heard myself giving a fairly good reason for taking a trip that I hadn’t thought of until I’d said it out loud. Basically, the break-up with Sophie is something I still kind of time things back to in my mind, as a lifeline landmark in time. The beginning of Covid is another big marker that I measure time to as well, but the Sophie break up and resultant emotional calamity is something I feel more. And I was saying that it would be good to have an experience that I could use as as full-stop to the hangover from that break-up. Or to replace that landmark as the last landmark that I hark back to in my mind. I’ve never been good with dates and times or having a sense of when events were - sometimes when I’m trying to work out when something happened, I’ll plot it against where I was living, whether Sai and I had gone on our trip yet, Hawthorn winning the grand final in 2008. I think that for quite a few years in the Sophie relationship I was trapped in debt and unhappy in the apartment there, but trapped because I wanted to fix the splashback before I could even try to move out, but I was drunk all the time because I was too poor to do the repair, and it became a circle that kept me trapped - and that all led to just such a long time being spent with time zooming by and me not marking the time or having any experiences to punctuate the time. Since I think recovering from the worst of the break up, I have a better sense of time now and feel it more when it’s getting too monotonous. A trip and an experience now would be great, because I’d be grateful for it in real time as marker of time and or the end of that hangover period. Anyway - getting repetitive now. Guess it’s hard to explain. Went for a swim. Bit windy, but nice and green. Mum popped up to the beach for her fourth swim of the day. I rode to town and got Mexican. Pretty good. Got my first issue of Hello! in many years. Royal issue. Did a little gardening. Would like to get two square units of lavender and of rosemary growing in this little patch next to the garage. Worked for a while on getting a Twitter bot working. No joy yet and need to adjourn for the evening now. Damn - not tired. M: 7. E: 7. 😐😓😀🤩

https://belongingbeginswithus.org

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Fizzer of a day really. Listened to a couple of podcast series. Did a big juice meal prep. Couldn’t get going. Why the fuck am I so lazy. I hate it. Did a couple chores but not heaps. Few beers. Indian dinner. God save the Queen. Maybe her jubilee is tomorrow, Australian time? Didn’t see much content about it. Good old Ma’am. Could have used a 25 page special in a physical newspaper on the topic. Should get a Women’s Day or some magazine about it. Traffic all along Pertobe Rd was bumper to bumper. Guess it’s going to be like that all year. I bet the work on Edwards Bridge will go over the slated end date too. Fresh linens tonight. Dug out the incense too. M: 3.5. E: 4. 😐😑😔

Fishing day! [RELATIVE] picked me up in the morning. Went out on his boat at Hopkins River. Was awesome! Caught a lot of fish. Got one on the first cast, which bade well for the rest of the day. All of mine were bream. Some beautiful fish. Many were very purpley. So clean. We picked up [NEPHEWS] and mum for a while too. They got on my wick today, with having to push everything and try to get away with doing what they’d been asked not to constantly. If I had children, I’d be doing corporeal punishment. Had some chill out time: had Apple Music ocean sounds on the HomePod, lining up the lines of the lattice of the fence with the lines of the weatherboard house out the back. Cooked the fish. Walked. Morrissey playlist. Snacks. Very salty olives. I was spitballing the idea of going overseas for a bit of a working holiday last night and this idea was criticised as having “big coloniser energy” and as “a shameful way to spend money.” That says maybe. I paid a donation to a mutual aid today, almost as an indulgence in case I go ahead with this plan. We’ll see. M: 6. E: 6. 😇🥰🤩😤

The work day dragged and wasn’t productive. I got frustrated at one point. Really shouldn’t let it bother me but it sometimes does unfortunately. Got some Chinese takeout. Watched some AppleTV+ and chilled. Went for a long walk in the evening. Saw the young ones queueing up for the pubs. Geez. A lot of mullets. Was looking at flights and accom to a few places. Maybe I could go to Manila. Or Singapore. I’m quite bored. M: 3. E: 4. 😑😠

Work. Mostly on a call through the day and chatting about recent changes to the ABS ANZSCO code frame. Talked through that for a good few hours. [work wife] did amazingly well to go over so much and speak so well about it all. She is a total lifesaver often and always. In the private chat with vegan Davo, I was described as “a loser” and as “a 40 year old fail son, living with (my) mother, with six chins, rotten teeth, hair like a 70s Soviet orphan who can’t garner any traction on the dating apps.” Charmed, I’m sure. Went out for dinner with mum. Went for a solo walk this evening. Can’t believe it’s Friday again tomorrow. Had a bunch of ice cream before bed. Should have had cheese instead because I had cool dreams last night after eating a bunch of cheese before bed. Although correlation ain’t necessarily causation. The dreams may not have been directly related to having eating the cheese. M: 4.5. E: 4. 😐😃🥰

Went to the [sister’s family’s] house before work to see the boys before their first day of school. They really do grow up so quick! Worked. Couldn’t get into gear today. Went to [auntys] for birthday coffee with gran. [3 year old nephew] said to me while we were eating the Coles mud cake “You’re going to shit all day.” Not sure where that came from or what it meant. Didn’t eat or drink nearly enough all day and ended up with a headache. Walked with the girls. Ate a bit of cheese. Bed. Not a great day. M: 3.5. E: 3. 😴😑😐💩

Got up early because I yet again left entering my timesheets to the last possible morning. I thought I hadn’t taken enough notes of what I’d worked on this month - and thought I hadn’t worked hard enough to justify what I would try to claim on different projects - so I thought I’d end up putting an ungodly amount of time to ADMIN - and that I’d be called out on this, and disciplined. But I think I claimed less time on ADMIN than in past months. So that’s good! Big monthly meeting. Interesting - work will be doing a profit share thing soon. Sounds a bit socialist to me. I don’t know how I feel about it. I signed on to work for a set salary. Businesses seem to feel apologetic for making money these days. It’s weird. If I’m one of the staff who stand to get a sliver of this money, I’ll take it, but I still find it weird. If I want the profit a business makes to be any concern of mine, it should be my business! Anyway - it’s interesting. Nice and busy work day, with a few little hiccups that kept things interesting. I was making a coffee in the afternoon and caught out the corner of my eye a horse in the paddock out the front! The cows were chasing it around. Went out and [REDACTED] had just put [REDACTED] in with the cows. Was so cute watching the cows being curious about him. They calmed down about him after a while mostly. Mum got back from QLD. Work has begun on replacing Edwards Bridge. Going through until September! So long. Will be a long drive to the beach this year. Crazy. I’m hoping there will be some hardcore demolition work happening one day that I can watch. On a weekend hopefully. Went for a walk with mum and [sister]. Quality Kek. Finished some work, had a cold beer and watched the cows and horse for a while. Beautiful. Bath. Secured a hesitant “ok” to a date, if I go to Tasmania. M: 6. E: 5. 😐😆😍

Busy work day. Went by very quick. Muggy as hell and too many flies outside. Gross. Shocked myself deliberately on the electric fence the other day to test it for Troy and Kellie’s [redacted’s] mum. I need to re-pot some plants. I’ve been watering some of these way too much I realised today. My avocado plant is going well though. So cute. Like a cartoon. I love it. Went for a swim after work. I had been umming-and-ahhing about which beach to go to. [girl who I went on a date with a couple years ago] said in a DM to go to Stingray Bay. I defied this instruction and went to Worm Bay. When I was walking in, I saw a dead wallaby in the shallows. Didn’t want to be near it so I went to Stingray Bay as I’d been told in the first place. There was some smoking ceremony/aboriginal dance thing happening. Watched and smelled that. The water was so clear. Trippy-clear. Could see through waves. So cool. Floated around for a while. Tried to do pro-bono in the evening but hit a snag. Beddy byes. M: 4. E: 5. 📈😇😎

Washed my hair. Had been a few years since I gave it the full shampoo, conditioner, and comb. So silky. So boofy and mushroom-like too though. Went to the market - had a couple coffees at the lake. Went for a coffee with [sister and nephew]. Funny kid. Missed breakfast. End of my streak on one of my new year resolutions - eat breakfast each day. Will start the streak again tomorrow. Back on the horsey! Walked around. Felt a bit listless in the afternoon. Had plenty of things to do if I could have been bothered but I just laid around. Been pretty relaxed (low heart rate, breathing slowly) all day - except for wishing I was being more productive the whole day. Got a badge for my Insta filters getting 100,000+ impressions. Haha. Did some online retail therapy. Bought wine, a book, Feb Fast donation. Something else, I think. Saw a pretty perfect me-in-10-years guy at the kiosk. In a flat cap, a polo, cargo pants, and Velcro shoes. M: 4. E: 4. 😇😐😑😴

Rode the motorcycle out to Illowa to leave with the mechanic. Should have got the bike sorted out earlier because I would love to take a ride somewhere! Hung around the house. Listened to Ash Barty win the tennis. Good on her. Prepped a large amount of juice. Took a stroll. Reading, relaxing. Dani said my hair is looking good. bit of an upset tummy. M: 3.5. E: 4. 😇😐🙂