Luke Hand Diary

International Men’s Day. Work. They hate me. Ah well. Spuds and onion for lunch. Terrible dinner. Blue. M: 3. E: 3. 😐😑

Work. Boring. Annoying. Tetchy. Unproductive. Really windy day. Lots of dust in the air. Hay fever. Tried to bash the fence together to stop it blowing around and creaking. Walk with mum and Ash. Convinced the union to delete a tweet that I found problematic. Lost the Powerball. Done a podcast. Pretty boring and pointless day. M: 4. E: 4. 😴😑😠

Birthday. Nice and achey from the weeding work. Beachy and coffee with mum before work. Work. Tetchy again. Hmm. Was listening to William Tyrrell content all day, now that the case appears to be cracking. Very interesting. Had a beer at the end of the day, and it hit pretty bloody well indeed. A walk with the girls. Looking forward to getting back to my weeding soon - hopefully tomorrow. M: 4. E: 4. 😐😟🥰😑

Bloody ants in the kitchen. Got tetchy about some stuff at work. Rrrrrr.. Got pretty worked up and felt tense, had a blood nose, and a headache built up - finished a bit early. Took some tynenol. Went and did more weeding at the river. A few separate passers-by agreed that the native grasses were looking very overrun and that I’m probably not doing any harm by clearing out some of the weeds and grass. Bloody hard yakka. My back and knees were killing afterwards. Will be very sore and sorry tomorrow, I expect. Indian for dinner. M: 3.5. E: 4. 😓😤😠😢💩

Work went really quickly. Didn’t get much done. Was getting annoyed about dumb stuff and probably came across like a dick a couple of times. Ah well. Work-wife was born in Bethlehem, she said today. Wow. I went to the river after work today and weeded around the area where they planted the native grasses a few months ago. Only afterwards did someone suggest that maybe they’re happy with the weeds being there for now, and that the weeds may actually be helping the plants. So, in trying to help, I might have fucked up a whole area of it. Goddamn it. Story of my life. Got messages from an estranged friend (Alana). That was a surprise because I’m pretty sure they hate me. Did a walk and an Apple Fitness workout. Still ate a tonne of garbage, but I might try to eat a bit better for a while. Sister asked me if I’m coming out. No - why!? M: 4. E: 5. 😐😑😆

Very wintery weather. Hail and winds. Tried to go for a couple of walks but it was too blustery. Was hoping to get to around Shelly Beach and get some periwinkles but didn’t make it. Heard a Liam-penned Oasis song I had never heard before. I Believe In All. Amazing. Crazily underrated as a songwriter. Mum got me to get out and pick up a piece of scaffolding off the side of the road - and then nearly ran me over! Very close call. Had gran and the Halls and the Hands over for lunch. I smacked [nephew]. New Anko shirt. Some texting with [redacted]. She said I’m very kind. 😊 Was looking at Airbnb places to maybe go to and chill out a bit soon. New linens. Relaxing. M: 5. E: 3. 😐😆😑

Up early. Ablutions. Walking around. Watched a couple movies. M: 4. E: 4. 😐

Work. Didn’t get torn apart in the meeting that I thought I was due to be torn apart in. Had a couple frustrations today, but slunk through and clocked out without addressing a couple of things. Yolo tho. Guess that’s Monday’s problem. Swept up. Laying around. I don’t usually care about birthdays - and I never know or care what age I or other people are - but the last few years, I’ve felt really blue around my birthday. That might speak to how flat I’ve been this week. Food for thought. Debriefed a bit with mum and had dinner. M: 3. E: 3. L: -8. 😑😕😐😤

Super out of it. Feeling very slow and hazy. Didn’t get things done at work again. Manager requested a meeting about my work generally for tomorrow. Not going to be fun. So out of it. Rode and got fish n chips for dinner at 5 and have been napping since. Flat as a tack. I have very little vim at the moment. Was hating myself in conversations all day. Shut the fuck up!! Isolating from a few social networks. Was flicking through MOJO magazine. Added a few albums that sound ace. Will try to get some uninterrupted work hours in tomorrow and listen to these albums while I’m at it. Off to sleep early now. M: 2.5. E: 2. L: 0. 😴😓😑😕

Work. Did fuck all. Need to get better at my job. Work wife suggested that as my New year resolution. I think that’s a good idea. Was looking at Airbnb options, either in Melbourne or somewhere else on a vline route. Not sure that I can be fucked going anywhere because I’m feeling like isolating anyway - and I can do that at home. Sent a photo of my toe to this chick off Hinge/Insta. She still barely knows that I exist. Short walk. Helped mum with some work stuff of hers. Parenting show. Bed. Blergh. M: 3. E: 3. L: -7. 😴😑😓