GC13 discusses a particularly humorous episode of the Steven Nuke: Restaurant Wars.

It may not have involved literal armed warfare between the two restaurants in question, but no one can deny that both mobilized some serious effort to dramatically drum up business (even the fry stand was doing deliveries, which says a lot about how crazy things must have been).

Plus Kofi went totally crazy and tried to brand Steven.

Let us all just take a moment of silence now to remember how close we came to losing the budding romance between Ronaldo and Jane. Never forget how fragile love can be.

GC13, Dakota, and Hunter are very happy to present an episode about the fifth StevenBomb, and only a month early! (Thanks Cartoon Network!)

It’s too hard to give a summary of the podcast for those who still haven’t watched the episodes yet, so here’s a spoiler-free recap:

Could we be Ronaldo? Is it possible?

Circles and ovals, squares and hexagons.

What are Gemlins?

Butter was built, then you were built for butter.

It’s our first podcast of the new year, and GC13 and Dakota are covering Beach City Drift, known both as a Stevonnie episode and as the second appearance of a very controversial character: Kevin.

Love him or hate him, you have to admit that he knows how to push Stevonnie’s buttons. At least he used to know, before Connie and Steven heeded the wise words of Mr. Universe. Even if his meltdown is a bit exaggerated, it’s still fun to watch.

Plus there’s always Ronaldo: car guy, or just a nineties kid who remembers a particular car? Already dating Jane, or meeting her for the first time at the race? Inquiring minds want to know.

GC13 and Hunter engage in some consequence-free hyping, guessing at what some short episode descriptions might hint at for the next Steven Bomb to hit the airwaves.

Now surely with Steven Universe episode descriptions being notoriously difficult to draw predictions from, we’d be cautious, wouldn’t we? Wrong! This is a special occasion, one where we throw caution to the wind and dare to dream big! Even if it’s most likely, for instance, that Yellow Pearl is merely singing backup to Yellow Diamond, imagine a full-on duet between our Pearl and Yellow Diamond. It’s a dream worth dreaming.

(If anyone is curious, here are links to the signing sheet and the press panel transcript.)

In the spirit of the season, GC13 writes out his Christmas wish list for the series. This list has everything: new seasons, lore, character development. And who’s that? Tiger Millionaire? You better believe he’s on the wishlist too!

We must always hopal for more Opal, but there are plenty of characters who have disappeared that it would be great to see back. (Bonus points if the character in question is Mystery Girl, who is also important to Pearl’s character development.)

Of course what the fandom must want most (how could they want anything more?) would be more Camp Pining Hearts. The show has been a fan favorite ever since Log Date 7 15 2 showed it to us. Mayor Dewey probably loves Camp Pining Hearts, so that means you should probably love it too!

GC13 and Hunter talk a lot about Lars and The New Lars, and even learn some fun facts about koalas at the start of the episode!

So, whether you love or hate Lars you have to admit that this episode took him to a dark place. GC13 and Hunter aren’t the kind of people to think that Lars is being treated unfairly, or that Steven is being portrayed as doing nothing wrong, but… Seriously, poor Lars. Hopefully he’s grown as a result of all of this.

There is also a question of shipping: if Sadie and Lars aren’t destined for one another, then who is worthy of good Lady Sadie? Even more importantly, where is Opal?

GC13, Sophia, and Hunter have the goods with a discussion of Three Gems and a Baby.

Well if baby Steven isn’t just the cutest baby we’ve ever seen… Greg also helps him get a diamond onto his chest, not long after we get confirmation on the cool kids’ ages.

So what do you think? Does a Gem’s gem shrink and grow as they shapeshift or fuse, or does it actually stay the same size and it’s only drawn as bigger or smaller for aesthetic appeal?

Carabiner! Carabiner!

GC13 is here to give thanks for the best parts of Steven Universe: Tiger Millionaire, and some memorable lines from the show.

Of course there’s a lot more to love than just that (GC13 is prepared if Sugilite ever asks him if he likes anything): not only is Tiger Millionaire a great episode, it can even lead to you learning about wrestlers from the nineties.

Then, of course, there’s the lore we’ve gotten since Ocean Gem, which could have been the end of the series if Cartoon Network hadn’t liked it (perish the thought).

There’s more to love about Steven Universe than any of us could have brought up in any podcast episode, so please do let us know what about the show you’re thankful for in the comments below!

GC13 and Hunter discuss the second double-length episode of Steven Universe: Gem Harvest. That Lapis joke though.

We want more Carl Andy on the show. Thankfully we’ll probably get more of him, because he’s funny and a really good guy.

Even if the Gems were being more befuddled by humanity than usual, that didn’t stop this from being a fun Thanksgiving episode. (Plus, it was a sign of two holidays being missing in Steven’s Universe: Thanksgiving and Halloween!)

Also, a merchandise update: eight new t-shirts have been added to the official Cartoon Network online store. Normally we wouldn’t update you for new merch, except this gem is one of the new shirts. You know what to do with this.

GC13 is back with another solo episode, this time giving a brief discussion of what’s coming in Gem Harvest and Three Gems and a Baby. With the bonus informational stylings of an upcoming voice actress. You’re welcome.

We’ve actually seen a lot of Gem Harvest thanks to Comic Con—four minutes. It’s all setup though, so who knows where the episode will go from there? Especially with the commercial Cartoon Network is showing this week.

Three Gems and a Baby is sure to be sad. It might be another half-hour episode, but since it hasn’t been specifically announced as one it’s also possible that the schedule is just weird.

Finally, Ashly Burch is going to voice… Someone. Some time.