Lunchtime in Rome

The episode focuses on the launch of Jay’s book titled "Stand."

* Book Introduction: Jay discusses the impact of his newly released book, how to get it, and ways to share it. The book isn't just a tribute to his son, Trey, who passed away, but serves as a guide for parents, particularly those dealing with a child's severe illness, offering insights on managing family dynamics, emotional needs, and grief.

* Content and Misconceptions: Jay highlights that while the book deals with grief, it's also a practical guide for parenting and community support during crises. He addresses misconceptions about the book's purpose, emphasizing its instructional aspects on emotional support and conflict resolution.

* Reactions and Reviews: The episode shares various reactions to the book. Some close to Jay found it too emotional to read entirely, while others praised its readability and the balance between storytelling and practical advice. The book has garnered positive feedback, with many readers finishing it in one or two sittings due to its engaging narrative.

* Marketing and Distribution: Jay discusses his marketing strategy, moving away from top-down approaches to relying more on word-of-mouth. He encourages listeners to buy the book for organizations like churches and hospitals where it can benefit those dealing with grief or supporting others in crisis. He also stresses the importance of leaving reviews to increase visibility.

* Personal Updates: The hosts share personal anecdotes, including Jay's trip to Erie amidst heavy snow, and discuss the emotional complexities around the anniversary of Amy's mother's passing.

* Thanksgiving Food Draft Results: They briefly touch on the results of a fun Thanksgiving food draft from the previous episode, with Jay winning overwhelmingly, and some light-hearted banter about the choices, like Chris' controversial sparkling grape juice pick.

* Future Plans: The podcast will take a break through December, replaying some notable past episodes, and return fresh in January.

The episode combines personal storytelling with book promotion, giving listeners a deep look into Jay's motivations for writing the book and how it's being received by those who have read it.

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Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 269 is titled “Emotional Etiquette.”  What is proper etiquette these days?  What are the emotional implications of these societal situations?  We’ll be talking about that at The Table this evening.

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Navigating Modern Etiquette: Air Travel, Dining, and Social Interactions

* Complete Book of Etiquette

* 700 pages

* Last updated in 1995 (originally published in 1952) by Amy Vanderbilt

* Air Travel Etiquette:

* Reclining seat etiquette

* Boarding and deplaning manners

* Seat selection considerations

* Middle seat passenger privileges

* Window seat shade adjustments

* Dining Out Etiquette:

* Check splitting norms

* Handling rude guests

* Tipping guidelines

* Suggesting tips during transactions

* Cash vs. card tipping

* Social Etiquette:

* Re-meeting people and not remembering names

* Introducing oneself and others

* Honesty in social interactions

* "Are You Garbage?" - Myka Meier segment

* Table Manners:

* Correct napkin folding and usage

* Waiting to eat etiquette

* Matching courses with others

* Cutting food etiquette (e.g., burgers)

* Placement of condiments

* Eating pace and utensil placement

* Addressing servers by name

* Signal to get server's attention

* Party Etiquette:

* Appropriate gifts (avoid flowers or wine)

* Matching gifts to the party theme

* Wedding Etiquette:

* Gift expectations ($125-$150 range)

* Gift registry vs. cash gifts

* Etiquette corrections

* General Social Norms:

* Etiquette as an expression of kindness

* Table Contributions:

* Pam Dancisin Fitch: Handwritten thank you notes

* Marnie O’Connor: Children addressing adults formally

* Use of cell phones at the table

* Dan Leopold: Parking space etiquette

* Christmas/birthday card signing protocols

* Alexis Bobick Bajich: Responding to communications

* Chris Mills: Response expectations

* Ryan McGuire: Common courteous discourse

* Lydia: Classroom etiquette

* Door-opening etiquette

* Denise Ressler: RSVP importance

* Modern courtesies like holding doors, giving up seats, and general kindness

* Ann Devito: Phone etiquette in public spaces

* Christine Schultz: Proper speech for children

* Rachel's list of pet peeves

* Aaron Garcia: Golf etiquette

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 268 is titled “Stand - for those in your community.”  What does a family in crisis need?  What helps?  What hurts?  How can we best love and serve families in their darkest hour?  We’ll be talking about that at The Table this evening.

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Check out Jay’s book Stand!

Richie Reeder’s Ministry Pressing On

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Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 267 is titled “The Importance of Connection”.  Are there medical reasons to be connected to others?  Are we disconnected from ourselves?  Who is Dr. Gabor Mate'? We’ll be talking about that at The Table this evening.

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The Importance of Connection - Gabor Mate

* Things are out of control

* Yes God is in control

* Things don’t seem to be 

* What is one thing we can do?

* Create, maintain connections with others

* Undervalued

* The opposite of Rom 12:15 is brutal

* However, when things are bad, we don’t focus on relationships

* Dr. Gabor Mate

* Grandparents killed in Auschwitz, spent 1 year w/aunt

* Traumatized upon return

* Moved to Canada during Vietnam

* English teacher for years then med school

* General family practice for 20 years, including many with AIDS and addictions

*  Maté defines addiction as the use of any behavior or substance to relieve pain in the short term, that leads to negative consequences in the long term. Without addressing the root cause of the pain, a person may try to stop but will ultimately crave further relief and be prone to relapse. By this definition, many things in modern culture have the potential to become addictive such as gambling, sex, food, work, social media, and drugs.[4] He argues the "war on drugs" actually punishes people for having been abused and entrenches addiction more deeply, as studies show that stress is the biggest driver of addictive relapse and behaviour.[11] He says a system that marginalizes, ostracizes, and institutionalizes people in facilities with no care and easy access to drugs, only worsens the problem.

* Disclaimer about Dr. Mate’

* Emphasis on connections/relationships

* But Maté discovered something remarkable:  Your body knows how to heal itself. It just needs the right conditions. The problem? Modern medicine treats symptoms while ignoring the root cause. This is where his revolutionary approach begins…

* Reconnect w/ your body - Take 5 minutes of stillness each day.

Notice the tension in your shoulders. The knot in your stomach. The racing of your heart. Don't try to change anything. Just observe.This simple practice starts rewiring decades of disconnection.

* Why? What we accept as "normal" in society is actually deeply traumatic.

The constant rush. The chronic stress. The endless pressure to achieve.

We're not thriving. We're surviving. And our bodies are paying the price. We celebrate pushing through pain. We admire those who "never complain."

We praise people for working themselves to exhaustion.  These aren't signs of health. They're symptoms of collective trauma.

* For example - The anxiety that's plagued you for years? It was protection.

The perfectionism? Survival. The people-pleasing? Adaptation. You weren't broken. You were doing your best to survive

* The Solution?

* Real healing happens through connection - with yourself, with others, with the parts you've hidden away. This is why Maté says the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety. It's genuine human connection.

* It's messy. It's nonlinear. It challenges everything you thought you knew.  But on the other side of this work is something remarkable:  The chance to finally live instead of just survive.

* Our thoughts

* Emotionally Focused Therapy

* 2 Cor 1: 3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

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Kick Off Launch For Jay’s New Book “Stand”

Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 266 is titled “Stand - The Diagnosis”.  What could it possibly be like to experience a child getting a life threatening diagnosis?  Where do you turn?  We’ll be talking about that at The Table this evening.

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Get full access to Lunchtime In Rome Podcast at www.lunchtimeinrome.com/subscribe

Karen Carney

* Several things come to mind, but one of the main things I think of is the days when people weren’t always on a screen. I’m guilty of this too — attention, peace.

Jennifer Lynn Probola

* Everyone liked each other (for her, the 90’s, which were late teens/early 20’s) — acceptance, peace, respect.

Sally Feeney Herr

* For me, it was when Brian and Christina were little. We had so many fun "adventures." I got to relive those fun times with my grands — belonging.

Michelle Kost Stophel

* I’ve had many, but the days of Club in high school always stand out: Laurelville, Summerfest, the Florida trip, dances, and of course the religious aspect of it. It was good wholesome fun, and we got to meet a lot of people outside of our school — ?????.

Flo Miller

* Things were slower. Now, everyone is in a hurry. Kids played and talked to each other outside. You knew your neighbors. Had block parties. It was a friendly time. Now there’s too much anger and no patience — peace, acceptance.

JD Lane

* Seneca Seven days — belonging.

Maurice Schwartz

* For me, I think about the times before I got married, even the time when I was just a kid… I didn’t have to worry about life. Things happened that were fun, family- and friends-oriented, adventurous, and carefree… Except maybe trying not to look like a dork — peace.

Jenna O'Connor

* Having FUN ALWAYS with a solid, unconditionally loving group of friends. No responsibilities, bills, or worries (other than what excitement the WV POSSE had in store tomorrow!). Being young, without worry of aging parents or stress from jobs or income — just pure silliness and fun! — belonging, peace.

Michele M. Irwin

* Not as many things to worry about then, like now — peace.

Anthony DeMarco

* Before money was a motivating factor in most aspects of life, basically before having to become an adult — peace, respect.

Heather Airgood Hoolahan

* When my kids were all little. Man, it was hard. I realize now that physically hard beats emotionally hard any day. We had some great adventures. Our holidays were amazing. Those littles brought me so much love. I can’t wait until their littles bring it back to us. I’m grateful that I get to share in that with my siblings’ babies — peace, belonging.

Lyon Zeibak

* The happy memories, memories that fill us with warmth, laughter, and a longing to return to those moments — peace, belonging.

John Rompala

* I can truthfully say that “These Days” are some of the happiest that I’ve ever been. Happily Married, our son is healthy, happy, recently graduated from college, and employed at his “Dream Job” at his “Dream Firm”, and my and my wife’s retirement is within reach. Bills are paid, we are wanting or needing anything that we don’t have or can’t get. My wife and I are healthy and still having a good time. Life is Really Good right now! - peace…now

Deanna Lateef

* When people weren’t so judgmental and busy trying to one up each other, when you would smile at strangers and they would smile back. Those kind of days. - peace

Dan Leppold

* June 27th, 1976.

* It started a bit cool as the sun rose to the sound of crickets & birds. I can remember the light streaming into my open window. The day grew warm & sunny. All that was on my agenda was play, fun, and adventure. I hung out with Randy & Mark, rode my bike, climbed two trees, and dug in the "Indian burial ground" at the end of Janice Drive.

* I rode my bike there; the breeze felt great as I sailed down the street (it kinda sucked pushing the bike up the hill). I still have one of the "Indian artifacts" I found that day (just a rock, but I have it in my display case now).Mrs. Lynch gave me a ham sandwich, which I ate while playing pick-up sticks in her garage. She also let me look at her encyclopedia. I remember a cat, but it wouldn’t let me pet it.

* I came back to the house after dark, the door fan blowing out. I talked into it and sounded like an alien.

* I vaguely remember hearing Hawaii Five-O on TV…

* Fell asleep exhausted. It was a great day — those were the days they were!

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Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 264 is titled “Kirra and Tyler”.  Tonight you get to meet Tyler and Kirra Mitlo.  One year married, physically fit and emotionally well trained, they are a fantastic young couple.  Is everything as easy as it seems?  We’ll be talking about that at The Table this evening.

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Check out Kirra’s fitness channel Strong Sisters United on YouTube!

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In this episode, the guys welcome their long-time friend and loyal YouTube viewer, Bjorn, as their special guest. The episode provides listeners with a deep dive into Bjorn's life, focusing on his strong connection with the hosts through shared memories, faith, and their time together during their high school and Young Life activities.

The conversation shifts between light-hearted banter about past events, like playing volleyball together, and their hilarious Young Life skits, to deeper discussions about Bjorn’s personal and professional journey. Bjorn talks about his transition from high school to college at Penn State, where he continued to develop meaningful friendships and creative talents that shaped his career in communications. He shares his experiences working for major companies such as Starbucks, Heineken, and Trojan, as well as his more recent role at Meta (formerly Facebook), where he was part of their rebranding efforts.

Bjorn also reflects on the challenges he faced balancing his Christian values in the secular PR world, particularly with some controversial products. The episode highlights the importance of relationships and community, as Bjorn credits much of his growth to the bonds he formed with his friends and mentors like the hosts. The show wraps up with laughter, nostalgia, and gratitude as they look back at the memories they’ve shared.

This episode is a great mix of personal stories, humor, and insights into navigating life’s transitions with faith and friendship.

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Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 262 is titled “Frustrated by Never Enough”.  Does it ever seem like your adult child cannot ever be pleased with you no matter what you do?  Maybe it’s your parent that can’t be satisfied.   Either way, we’ll be talking about that at The Table this evening.

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

Description The “Never Enough” game helps keep a relationship agenda always on the table. The message to the “Frustrated” partner is, “I need you around to keep trying!” If you only do “this or that,” “Never Enough” finds something else to be dissatisfied about, and the game continues. “Frustrated” may become angry, give up, or seek appreciation elsewhere. “Never Enough” may often not even realize this game is going on.

Benefits “Never Enough” may be unconsciously played by the overly needy person who needs attention, security, or intimacy, but searches for them through a partner’s performance. This game may also be prompted by “Never Enough’s” fear that the “Frustrated” will not be motivated to give without constant messages of dissatisfaction. As long as they continue to play, this fear doesn’t have to be faced.

Examples

Parent as Never Enough

* NE: I need to go shopping.

* F: I can take you this weekend.

* NE: You spend too much time away from your family. Bring them along, and let’s go to lunch.

Adult Child as Never Enough

* NE: I need help with the baby this weekend.

* F: I’ll come over and watch them on Saturday.

* NE: That’s so great, because you can help me with laundry.

Underlying Issues

Unmet Needs “Never Enough” often has many unmet emotional needs but seeks to feel special or secure through “Frustrated’s” performance. To feel secure, the performance must continue. “Frustrated” often needs belonging.

Unhealed Hurts “Never Enough” may have unhealed hurts which are to be “made up for” by “Frustrated’s” performance. Forgiveness might be verbalized but not really given until performance occurs. “Frustrated” may express passive-aggressive anger. Fear would be common in both.

Faulty Thinking “Never Enough” might “personalize” disappointments into personal rejections or “polarize” by expecting perfect performance. “Generalizing” past hurts into the future would be common. “Frustrated” might “personalize” any expressed need as criticism and magnify criticisms.

Unhealed Childhood Hurts “Never Enough” often missed much but may have developed a self-sufficient performance to cope—thus the pressure for “Frustrated” to perform also. “Frustrated” may have missed out on approval and acceptance, feeling a conditional pressure to perform.

Ways to Disengage

“Never Enough” can disengage in the following ways:

* Think through what you already have to be grateful forExample: Complete a “Journal of Gratefulness.”

* Express appreciation privately and publicly to “Frustrated”Example: Appreciation exercises, e.g., “I really appreciate you for _________.”

* Think through your top three current wishes. Express them and appreciate them when fulfilledExample: “Wish List” exercise, e.g., “I think I would really enjoy _________.”

The Game is Over!

“Frustrated” can disengage in the following ways:

* Express your commitmentExample: “I’m deeply committed to being supportive and available to you.”

* Express your needExample: “It means so much to me when I sense your appreciation and acceptance of my efforts to support you. Could you acknowledge my efforts in (share specifics)?”

* Express your appreciationExample: “Thanks for noticing my efforts in (share specifics). Your appreciation really motivates me.”

The Game is Over!

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Welcome everyone and pull up a seat at the table. It’s Lunchtime in Rome. Tonight’s episode 261 is titled “Mike Hatch”.  Mike is an author, speaker, leader of men and most of all Husband and Father.  We’ll be talking with him at The Table this evening.

Pull up a seat at the table and join us!

You can find Mike in all of these places:

* Website: Redemptive Economics

* YouTube: Redemptive Economics

* Book: Manhood: Empowered by the Light of the Gospel

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