If a friend of yours needed to hear an unpleasant truth, would you tell it to them? Or would you gloss over it in order to avoid an uncomfortable conversation? Many of us would probably opt for the latter to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, but sometimes loving criticism is necessary to make people understand that they deserve better — and are capable of achieving it.

In conversation with Caitlin, Luvvie Ajayi argues that honesty, judgment and criticism shouldn’t always be perceived as negative — as difficult as it may be to tell someone you expect more of them. “Discomfort will not kill you, but it is necessary for growth”, she says, and speaking the uncomfortable truth will end up making your relationships more sincere and trustworthy.

Tune into this episode to learn the practices of loving criticism from Luvvie Ajayi and find out the benefits of challenging yourself to always say what you mean. And stick around after the interview for when Terence Mickey joins Caitlin Schiller to talk about the main takeaways from the conversation with Luvvie Ajayi and helps put together a book list for further reading.

For more info, including links to everything discussed in the episode, click here. Read the transcript of the interview here.

Let us know what you thought of the episode, or just give us some book recommendations on Twitter—we’d love to hear from you! Find Caitlin at @caitlinschiller, Ben at @bsto and Terence at @terence_mickey

Try Blinkist for free for 14 days by going to https://www.blinkist.com/en/nc/friends/ and typing in the code troublemaker.

That excellent music you heard is by Nico Guiang. You can find more of it on Soundcloud and Facebook.