Lyrics To Go

We're gonna go back to the days of the mid-late 90's when puka shell necklaces and kegstands were all rage... Also in the national zeitgeist at the time? Being a fucking peeping tom with abandonment issues, apparently. Topped off with a nursery rhyme! Dave Matthews and his band of talented misfits unleashed this anthem for stalkers onto a mostly unknowing crowd. We can stay silent no longer.

Pull up a beach chair, some personal ads, and a fruity drink! Seth and Marc bring to light the true story behind the sing along that probably caused the Jonestown Massacre. We learn that Rupert Holmes doesn't know how personal ads (or marriages) work and what really happens to the famous couple.

Break out your Stetson and some Wranglers and bind and gag Toby Keith! Marc and Seth tackle a real Southern anthem to incestuous threesomes and bailing your buddy out of shitty situations he chose to get himself into.... all tied together by one of the clunkiest attempts at a tagline ever. Fun!

A supersized episode for a supersized piece of shit song! Marc and Seth recruit real Crazy Town professional Elyse in to help figure out what the fuck this song is. About as romantic as school bus crash, Shifty Shellshock and Epic Mazur pen this shitty poetry to some very unlucky women who would probably rather their eyes eaten out by rats.

Special Guest: Elyse Maher.

After putting it off as long as they could, Marc and Seth finally take on the task of trying to decipher some of Anthony Kiedis' inane lyrics... and this one is a humdinger. Filled with placeholder two-syllable nonsense and shitty lines that are held together by duct tape, this song is too good for the words inside of it.

Marc and Seth take on Kip, Reb and Co. while breaking down the song Seventeen by Winger. Not only is this song gross, but it also has a Tenet-esque timeline where we're seemingly jumping through portals. Who would've guessed a guy named Kip would be an unreliable narrator?

Seth and Marc invite old friend and Cocaine Specialist John Cappozzo over to discuss the "anti-drug" song Cocaine. Originally written by JJ Cale and made famous by Cocaine Specialist Eric Clapton, this song has the rhyming scheme of a 3rd graders' poetry and sounds like cocaine is pretty handy... especially for an "anti-drug" song.

Special Guest: John Cappozzo.

Seth and Marc listen to Brandon Boyd and Co. make a mountain out of a molehill. Make no mistake about it... 23 was a rough age for the singer-cum-sex icon. But so bad that he was on the verge of exploding? We hardly think so.

Seth and Marc put on some thick gold chains and bust it b-boy style with one of the strangest pro-date/pro-bestiality/pro-transphobic songs of all time. Every verse gets stranger culminating in what finally makes him hang up his concoction... the threat of marriage!

Seth and Marc do that cool thing where someone clears off the table with a big swipe and unfurl a large map of the Motherland Of Humanity: Africa! Unfortunately, it was written by some dorky white musical prodigies who only knew the continent from Nat Geo and commercials. A failed love plot briefly mentioned, "mystical lyrics" by way of bad poetry, and geographical errors. We're here for it.